ok....
i just wanna be honest for a second, if u dont like it, dont read it.
this has truly been the worst summer of my entire life.
nothing has gone my way and ive def lost more friends than ive gained, i know before the summer started i said we could make it fun, and we could have, but whos we anyways?
idk where i stand with anyone anymore and frankly i know most of you dont care, so ill try to not care to, but thats hard to do.
i dont dread school starting, maybe something good will come of this year after this terrible summer.
- EDIT -
its kinda lame to be writing all this but i'm going to, so deal with it.
i should start by saying thanks kendra for noticing, ok, this whole post came out SO wrong.
the times i did have, were amazing, i love the ppl i did get to spend my time with.
there just wasn't enuf times at all. that dosent mean the few times werent fun, they were really fun.
and i can see where that would offend someone, esp someone like kendra who i went to a bunch of shows with, or mel/dev who came over everyday last week, or lisa who had a bunch of get togethers, jake for having the party, ect.
idk why i always fuck up but i do
i fucked up a thousand times w/ best friends and guys, in 5 years i've lost a few ppl that meant a lot to me but i fucked up so many fucking times, and now i cant go back.
it seems like everything i say comes out wrong...i think...
idk
i jump to conclusions, idk how to even talk to tory anymore. i def lost one of my best friends b/c im a baby and obv i realize that, i just dont know what to do, b/c if i was her id never forgive me.
i am a shitty friend
i give too much and expect too much more back
things come out wrong
and i never seem to always include everyone, even if i sinceerely try
sometimes i have a big mouth and im sorry
im just sorry for anyone whos had to deal with me and im sad that i have to actually apologize over this, my family thinks im a bitch with no friends, and its probably true
bee's fucked up and dosent care what ppl do and dosent judge them, thats awesome, but its a rareity and i dont expect anyone to tolerate me the way shes able to, bees just special.
idk how to fix all the things ive broken anymore, i just want it all to go away, i want it to be last summer when i used to have ppl over and make cakes and rory would write songs and stuff.
its pathetic to like the past more than the future but my past is awesome, high schools been awesome and you have all been awesome, despite anything ive said.
its ok to talk about me behind my back and hate me and not truly forgive apologies but just please, dont think of me this way in the years to come...remeber the girl who had ppl over every weekend and made cakes, remeber the girl who sang louder when she was told to shut up, remeber cherrypie11531...and dont remeber the stupid bitch i am right now, i'm just going to keep trying to make myself the better person i used to be and hope to be soon again.
i'm just sorry, and i realize thats not good enough but until i find what is, just take that
this has truly been the worst summer of my entire life.
nothing has gone my way and ive def lost more friends than ive gained, i know before the summer started i said we could make it fun, and we could have, but whos we anyways?
idk where i stand with anyone anymore and frankly i know most of you dont care, so ill try to not care to, but thats hard to do.
i dont dread school starting, maybe something good will come of this year after this terrible summer.
- EDIT -
its kinda lame to be writing all this but i'm going to, so deal with it.
i should start by saying thanks kendra for noticing, ok, this whole post came out SO wrong.
the times i did have, were amazing, i love the ppl i did get to spend my time with.
there just wasn't enuf times at all. that dosent mean the few times werent fun, they were really fun.
and i can see where that would offend someone, esp someone like kendra who i went to a bunch of shows with, or mel/dev who came over everyday last week, or lisa who had a bunch of get togethers, jake for having the party, ect.
idk why i always fuck up but i do
i fucked up a thousand times w/ best friends and guys, in 5 years i've lost a few ppl that meant a lot to me but i fucked up so many fucking times, and now i cant go back.
it seems like everything i say comes out wrong...i think...
idk
i jump to conclusions, idk how to even talk to tory anymore. i def lost one of my best friends b/c im a baby and obv i realize that, i just dont know what to do, b/c if i was her id never forgive me.
i am a shitty friend
i give too much and expect too much more back
things come out wrong
and i never seem to always include everyone, even if i sinceerely try
sometimes i have a big mouth and im sorry
im just sorry for anyone whos had to deal with me and im sad that i have to actually apologize over this, my family thinks im a bitch with no friends, and its probably true
bee's fucked up and dosent care what ppl do and dosent judge them, thats awesome, but its a rareity and i dont expect anyone to tolerate me the way shes able to, bees just special.
idk how to fix all the things ive broken anymore, i just want it all to go away, i want it to be last summer when i used to have ppl over and make cakes and rory would write songs and stuff.
its pathetic to like the past more than the future but my past is awesome, high schools been awesome and you have all been awesome, despite anything ive said.
its ok to talk about me behind my back and hate me and not truly forgive apologies but just please, dont think of me this way in the years to come...remeber the girl who had ppl over every weekend and made cakes, remeber the girl who sang louder when she was told to shut up, remeber cherrypie11531...and dont remeber the stupid bitch i am right now, i'm just going to keep trying to make myself the better person i used to be and hope to be soon again.
i'm just sorry, and i realize thats not good enough but until i find what is, just take that