Fully Fledged Accountant
This piece is about the elder of the two girls rescued back in Cassie and Nat’s second mission, Rina Telcontar, and her first day at work in the PPC. Set early January 2010.
Disclaimers:
- The PPC is the creation of Jay and Acacia.
- All Departments and Flowers named belong to their respective creators.
- Rina, Helena, Ellen and Robin belong to me.
Warnings: Some violence and possible mild language.
Thanks to tea_fiend, who betaed.
Rina walked down the corridor with her mentor, Helena, adjusting her new uniform. It was only a couple of days ago that Helena had given her the news - Operations had decided to assign her as an active Agent. This had almost caused an argument until the Nursery worker (rather a misleading term, as Helena’s job was to handle the adolescents) had explained that it was an Infrastructure Department.
The fourteen-year-old girl looked down at her flashpatch. She rather liked the symbol, especially as it was very similar to a flower from her homeworld. Even though she couldn’t recall ever having seen an evermind flower herself, she knew it was found only in her native continuum, which made her feel a little special.
She came to an abrupt halt as her mentor stopped outside a door and knocked. The ‘voice’ that came through made Rina jump slightly - she hadn’t had any contact with the Flowers before, unless one counted that brief interview with the Marquis de Sod back when she’d been rescued.
If you’re here to demand a raise, go and bother Personnel. Otherwise, come in.
Helena chuckled and opened the door, tugging Rina along gently when the teenager hesitated. “Helena Rice, Nursery. You wanted to talk with my latest challenge, sir, before she started work.”
Ah, yes. Thank you, Agent Rice. I’ve got one of my Agents coming up in a minute to explain a few things, so perhaps you’d like to get back before some child causes mayhem in the Nursery?
“Oh… all right then. Thank you, sir.” Helena looked a little nonplussed, but headed for the door, pausing to give her latest charge a little wink. “You’ll be fine, hon. Good luck.”
Rina nodded and mumbled a goodbye before the door closed.
I don't believe I recall your name, Agent, the Clover said. My memory’s been terrible lately. Do sit down. I won't attack.
“Oh - thank you, sir.” She sat down on the small, uncomfortable folding chair nearby. “My name’s Rina Telcontar, sir.”
Oh, yes, now I remember. I received your file yesterday. The Flower leaned forwards, pressing the tips of its largest leaves together in an ‘understanding superior’ gesture. I hope you’ll be all right here, Agent Telcontar, particularly considering your well-documented prejudice against the Action Departments.
“I’ve not got a problem with them,” Rina replied nervously. “I’m sure they do a great job - I admire them for being able to do what they do - but I just couldn't ever bring myself to do something like that.”
Ah. Well, fortunately that will not be a problem here. The worst danger a Finance Agent is likely to face is being buried under forms, or possibly a nasty paper cut. Now, I asked one of my senior assistants to send someone up to show you what you’ll be doing. They should be arriving any minute -
There was a loud, enthusiastic knock at the door.
- now. Come in, Agent.
The door nearly burst open, and in came a solidly built young man with brown hair tied back in a ponytail. He flashed Rina a grin and practically skipped over to the desk, radiating exuberance. “Did you want me, sir?”
I did ask Ellen to send someone up, yes. The Flower suddenly seemed to sound as though it was dealing with an overexcited toddler, and tired of it. We have a new Agent, and I was hoping to have someone sensible teach her the basics.
“Not a problem, sir,” the young man replied cheerily, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Then I’ll introduce you, so you can get out of my office. The young lady sitting behind you is Rina Telcontar. Agent Telcontar, this is Robin Samuel.
“Pleased to meet you, Rina,” Robin beamed, shaking her hand. “Don't worry, I’ll help you out. Finance really isn’t that difficult to get the hang of.”
“I - uh, thank you. Nice to meet you.”
“Well, we might as well get started, then! Right, sir?” Robin grinned at the Clover, who seemed to be slumped in its seat.
Yes. Please do.
“See you then, sir! C’mon, Rina.” The man bounced out of the door, followed by Rina, who mumbled a hasty goodbye as she left.
Once the door was shut, Robin’s manic energy seemed to fade somewhat, although he was still grinning hugely. “I love to do that,” he said as they started walking. “Stodgy beggar needs livening up every once in a while.”
“Doesn’t… all that annoy him, though?”
“Of course. That’s why I do it.” He laughed a little. “Winding up the Clover’s one of my favourite activities.”
Rina smiled a little, but said nothing. After a few moments, Robin noticed. “Hey, it’ll be fine. He’s used to me now, just avoids calling me up to his office unless he has to, and kicks me out as soon as he can when he does. I doubt he’ll have anything against you, though, you just happened to be in the room at the time.”
“I hope so. I just want to do well,” she replied, still a little nervous. “I think I upset a few people when I decided not to join Action.”
“Eh, I don’t blame you,” he shrugged. “It’s not for everyone, and Infrastructure always needs people too. Not the most exhilarating thing, accountancy. Everyone gets excited when there’s a new canon to handle fics for, but I’ve never seen anyone run around shouting, ‘There’s a new currency we need to deal with! We have to calculate the exchange rates! Recruit more accountants!’”
Rina giggled.
“There are a few positives, though. For one thing, the work here is much easier on everyone’s sanity. I haven’t seen anyone have a single psycho episode since I started. And people tend to stay longer, as well. Wrestling with numbers gets to be a habit after a while, and there aren’t really too many other options open. And - ah, we’re here.”
He led her into a large room filled with desks and filing cabinets, nodding to various people that they passed, until he reached a petite, mousy-haired woman whose very appearance practically screamed ‘accountant’. “Hello, Ellen. This’s Rina, she just got promoted out of the Nursery.”
Rina cringed slightly, but nodded. Ellen just smiled at her from behind thick-rimmed glasses. “Hello. Nice to meet you. Why don’t I show you your desk?”
“I can do it,” Robin put in.
“All right then.” She handed him a file. “Just get her started on the World One Agents, their currencies are easier to get to grips with. At least they have established exchange rates that we can keep tabs on.” The older woman turned to Rina again. “I’m pleased to see that the Nursery doesn't try to exclude Infrastructure from its training options altogether. Good to have you here.”
“Thank you,” Rina replied before following Robin to an empty desk. He sat down next to her.
“Let’s see how good you are with these figures,” he grinned, taking the first sheet out of her file.
***
A couple of hours later, Rina was getting to grips with the major currencies of World One and gleaning a lot of admiration from her new mentor in the process. “All right, I think that’s enough for now,” he chuckled as she finished one particularly involved calculation. “Let’s go and get a break.”
“We have actual breaks?” she queried as she stood up.
“Oh, yeah. Let me guess, most of what you know about working for the PPC comes from Action people?” he replied as they headed for the exit.
“Well, yes, I suppose it does.”
“I figured. Lemme explain, yeah? You see, Action have to tackle as many fics as they can, so they get their missions coming in 24/7. Most of the time, they can get their sleep and whatnot while they’re in-fic. Infrastructure don't get to sleep while they’re at work or anything like that, so we have actual scheduled shifts and breaks. Helps keep the sanity level up.”
“That sounds much easier to deal with.”
“It is, believe me,” he laughed. “I was in Action for a little while when I first got recruited, down in Technical Errors, but my strong point quite clearly wasn’t language. I was a total failure when it came to spotting the actual errors unless they were glaringly obvious, and the screwed place and time shifts messed my head up completely. They had to take me up to FicPsych in the end - probably on the verge of going flamethrower, I don't remember, but I’ve been told I was pretty psycho - and those guys put me through a load of tests, and finally figured out that I’m a hell of a lot better at maths than I am at English or whatever. Writing. So, once I was saner, they made the Uncommon Comma agree to let me go, and then got the Clover to take me on.” He shrugged and grinned. “Been here ever since.”
They turned into a large room that was fixed up with scattered sofas, armchairs, coffee tables and vending machines. “Welcome to the Lounge,” Robin said dramatically with a sweep of his arm. “This is where we spend most of our off-duty time - here or the Cafeteria. Let’s grab a coffee.”
A few minutes later, Rina was sitting on an old, worn, comfortable sofa, with a group of other Infrastructure Agents, all of whom her companion seemed to know. The teenager kept quiet most of the time, sipping her coffee and feeling a little sense of importance at her new situation. Robin seemed content to do all the talking required. Absently she wondered if he ever ran out of things to say.
“I doubt it,” a voice murmured in her ear. She jumped and turned round. Ellen smiled at her reassuringly. “Sometimes I think he’s not stopped talking since the day he joined Finance.”
“How did you know -?”
“What you were thinking?” Rina nodded. “I don't make an issue of it, but I have some weak telepathic abilities. I never did learn how to shut them off, so I pick up a lot of stuff that I didn’t really intend to.” The petite woman shrugged a little. “It’s kind of amusing to make a remark about what somebody’s thinking and see the look on their face. No offence taken, I hope?”
“No, of course not. It’s fine.”
“You’re a sweet girl, you know that?” Ellen finished off whatever she was drinking and stood up. “I’ll see you later. Maybe we can have a good chat then.”
“See you later,” Rina replied, watching her superior exit the room.
It wasn’t long before Robin tugged her to her feet. “We’d better get back. There’s a lot to do. I think someone was complaining about one of the storerooms needing organising.”
***
Rina stretched up to the shelf on her tiptoes, barely managing to reach the file she was after and nearly dropping it as it slid off. “Oof!”
“You all right?”
“I’m fine, I just overbalanced a bit. Got it, though.” She lifted it up a bit for his inspection. “The DOGA file dealing with payments and pay cuts for 2009.”
“Great. I’d like to get my hands on whoever’s been poking around in here, though. They’ve completely messed up the organisation system. DOGA stuff’s meant to be over here…” Robin led her through the huge room filled with stacked shelves to one particular set that was marked with the stylised flame that signified the Department of Geographical Aberrations. “Let’s see… 2006, 2007… well, that’s a bloody nuisance. Someone’s made off with the 2008 file. Here, give me that one you’ve got and see if you can find 2008.”
“Okay,” Rina replied, handing the thick package over and hurrying off.
She’d searched through half the Action Departments when the door at the other end of the room banged open and someone dashed in. Ignoring them, she carried on along the Bad Slash files, but her attention was called away when several more people rushed in.
“She came in here, all right.”
“Where’s the other doors?”
“I don't think there are any.”
“Spread out and look around. Keep an eye out for any escape routes. You two stay here in case she tries to sneak round behind us.”
“Gotcha.”
Rina hesitated, unsure whether to go and investigate or stay put. Then she heard Robin’s voice.
“Excuse me, but what’s going on?”
“Who are you?” That was the first voice she’d heard - a woman’s.
“Robin Samuel.”
“What are you doing in here?”
“I happen to work here, funnily enough. Or is my flashpatch invisible? No, I didn't think so. What the hell are the DIA doing here?”
“A Sue got into HQ from somebody’s mission and ran in here. Are there any other doors out of this room?”
“Not that I’ve found - wait, a Sue?”
The woman’s voice turned sarcastic. “No, the S.O.’s great-grandmother. Of course it’s a Sue.”
Robin’s voice dropped, but Rina was still able to hear him talking urgently. “One of my colleagues is in here - she’s fresh out of the Nursery, she won't be able to handle a Sue. If they run across each other…”
“You’ve got a point,” the strange voice agreed. “All units, we have one non-combatant in the area. If you find her, get her to safety. Priority on finding our Sue, but hold your fire unless you’re sure it’s the Sue you’ve found.”
Several crackly replies came back over what sounded like a radio. Although she was quite nervous about this whole situation, Rina had no intention of staying still and getting caught by the Sue - or mistaken for her - and decided to make a run for the door. A squeal of panic came from behind her as she dashed down one aisle, and gunfire broke out. The half-elven adolescent yelped and sped up, rounding a corner and running straight into someone.
“I’ve got her!” he shouted.
“I’m not a Sue!” she shrieked, trying to pull away.
“Hey - Rina, calm down, it’s me!”
She stopped struggling and looked up at her captor. It was Robin, whose expression of concern faded to one of relief, and then amusement. “Eventful first day, huh?”
“I’ll say,” she muttered, catching her breath. The DIA people began filtering back towards the door. A couple of them were carrying something humanoid and covered in sparkly stuff, at which Rina winced and looked away. The smell wasn't too pleasant either. One of the DIAers nodded to the two Finance Agents.
“Thank you both for your co-operation. You might want to contact Operations, though, this one made a bit of a splash.”
Robin sighed. “Thanks.” Once the Agents had left, he went to have a look at the mess, and came back groaning. “Just great. The janitors are going to have a fit when they see that.”
Rina looked sympathetic.
***
“Look at the positive side,” the young woman pointed out as she bent down to pull out yet another file, “at least she didn’t -”
“Don't say that!” Robin hissed.
“Say what?”
“‘At least she didn’t’” or ‘it could be worse’ or anything like that. That’s just asking for something worse to happen. Didn't they teach you anything in the Nursery? We don't attract attention from the Ironic Overpower.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I thought that didn't apply to us.”
“It applies to everyone, I’m afraid. That’s one thing we do have to suffer from as much as Action.”
“Right.” She felt a little sheepish. “But we found the DOGA file we wanted.”
“Yeah, right underneath where they blew the Sue’s head apart. I thought Ellen was going to have a fit when she saw the mess.”
“Well, it’s all sorted out now, so we can just get on with what we’re supposed to be doing.”
“Yeah. Reorganising the entire storeroom. Go us. I guess we should be thankful this room only holds the stuff from 2005 onwards.”
“Robin!” a familiar voice called.
“Yes, Satan?” the irrepressible young man replied with a grin, before turning round and coming face to face with Ellen. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else.”
“No, you didn’t,” she replied with a hit of amusement. “But I didn’t come up here for the pleasure of your company.”
“I’m heartbroken.”
“Stop that. I was going to point out that while you might enjoy working overtime, Rina might want to get some sleep.”
“Already?” the young woman in question blurted.
“Your shift ended about fifteen minutes ago, and you’ve been working flat-out all day - even without the excitement earlier.”
“Oh, yes, that’s terribly exciting, having the DIA come chasing after a Sue right past you,” Robin deadpanned.
Ellen shot him a cool look. “Would you rather have them come chasing after you again?”
“Oh, ouch.” He pretended to clutch at his heart, looking wounded. Rina got the impression that these two really enjoyed sniping at each other like this. Ellen gave her a quick wink and a nod.
“When I want your opinion, Agent Samuel, I’ll tell you. Anyway, the reason I came up here was to show you your new living quarters, Rina, if you’d care to take a look?”
The young woman glanced at Robin, who nodded. “All right,” she replied, putting her armful of paper down. “Thanks.”
The two women left the storeroom and headed out into the corridors. “I don’t know how familiar you’ll find the layout of your room,” Ellen said as they walked. “The bedrooms for most of us are converted RCs.”
“Converted how?”
“The consoles got taken out, seeing as we really don't need them, and a couple more comfortable items of furniture were added. It’s not like the Narrative Laws of Comedy can cause any real trouble, there’s just no opportunity. I guess it makes up for it while we’re working, but Legal wouldn't dare bother us too much - we control its budget.” She grinned. “Though, knowing them, they’ll do something like have a mini get into the paperwork tomorrow to get me back for that. Oh, we’re here.”
The door looked like all the others, except for the fact that the name on it read ‘Rina Telcontar, Department of Finance’. “I hope you’re comfortable here. The Lounge always has people in it, seeing as we have shifts round the clock, so it shouldn't be too difficult to find someone to talk to. Robin, if nobody else - I think he runs off a diet of pure caffeine, the way he behaves sometimes. Anyway, do you want to take a look around, or would you rather I left you in peace? All your things should have been moved up from your old room today, so…”
Rina couldn’t hide the jaw-splitting yawn that escaped her at that moment. “Sorry.”
“No, you go and get some rest. There should be an alarm in there for when you’re due for your next shift. Plenty of time for organising and all that later. Take care, hon, I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.” As Ellen departed briskly, the new Agent entered her room and wandered over to the bed. She really was tired… who’d have thought Finance would be such a tiring place to work? That was the last thought that crossed her mind before she drifted off.
Disclaimers:
- The PPC is the creation of Jay and Acacia.
- All Departments and Flowers named belong to their respective creators.
- Rina, Helena, Ellen and Robin belong to me.
Warnings: Some violence and possible mild language.
Thanks to tea_fiend, who betaed.
Rina walked down the corridor with her mentor, Helena, adjusting her new uniform. It was only a couple of days ago that Helena had given her the news - Operations had decided to assign her as an active Agent. This had almost caused an argument until the Nursery worker (rather a misleading term, as Helena’s job was to handle the adolescents) had explained that it was an Infrastructure Department.
The fourteen-year-old girl looked down at her flashpatch. She rather liked the symbol, especially as it was very similar to a flower from her homeworld. Even though she couldn’t recall ever having seen an evermind flower herself, she knew it was found only in her native continuum, which made her feel a little special.
She came to an abrupt halt as her mentor stopped outside a door and knocked. The ‘voice’ that came through made Rina jump slightly - she hadn’t had any contact with the Flowers before, unless one counted that brief interview with the Marquis de Sod back when she’d been rescued.
If you’re here to demand a raise, go and bother Personnel. Otherwise, come in.
Helena chuckled and opened the door, tugging Rina along gently when the teenager hesitated. “Helena Rice, Nursery. You wanted to talk with my latest challenge, sir, before she started work.”
Ah, yes. Thank you, Agent Rice. I’ve got one of my Agents coming up in a minute to explain a few things, so perhaps you’d like to get back before some child causes mayhem in the Nursery?
“Oh… all right then. Thank you, sir.” Helena looked a little nonplussed, but headed for the door, pausing to give her latest charge a little wink. “You’ll be fine, hon. Good luck.”
Rina nodded and mumbled a goodbye before the door closed.
I don't believe I recall your name, Agent, the Clover said. My memory’s been terrible lately. Do sit down. I won't attack.
“Oh - thank you, sir.” She sat down on the small, uncomfortable folding chair nearby. “My name’s Rina Telcontar, sir.”
Oh, yes, now I remember. I received your file yesterday. The Flower leaned forwards, pressing the tips of its largest leaves together in an ‘understanding superior’ gesture. I hope you’ll be all right here, Agent Telcontar, particularly considering your well-documented prejudice against the Action Departments.
“I’ve not got a problem with them,” Rina replied nervously. “I’m sure they do a great job - I admire them for being able to do what they do - but I just couldn't ever bring myself to do something like that.”
Ah. Well, fortunately that will not be a problem here. The worst danger a Finance Agent is likely to face is being buried under forms, or possibly a nasty paper cut. Now, I asked one of my senior assistants to send someone up to show you what you’ll be doing. They should be arriving any minute -
There was a loud, enthusiastic knock at the door.
- now. Come in, Agent.
The door nearly burst open, and in came a solidly built young man with brown hair tied back in a ponytail. He flashed Rina a grin and practically skipped over to the desk, radiating exuberance. “Did you want me, sir?”
I did ask Ellen to send someone up, yes. The Flower suddenly seemed to sound as though it was dealing with an overexcited toddler, and tired of it. We have a new Agent, and I was hoping to have someone sensible teach her the basics.
“Not a problem, sir,” the young man replied cheerily, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Then I’ll introduce you, so you can get out of my office. The young lady sitting behind you is Rina Telcontar. Agent Telcontar, this is Robin Samuel.
“Pleased to meet you, Rina,” Robin beamed, shaking her hand. “Don't worry, I’ll help you out. Finance really isn’t that difficult to get the hang of.”
“I - uh, thank you. Nice to meet you.”
“Well, we might as well get started, then! Right, sir?” Robin grinned at the Clover, who seemed to be slumped in its seat.
Yes. Please do.
“See you then, sir! C’mon, Rina.” The man bounced out of the door, followed by Rina, who mumbled a hasty goodbye as she left.
Once the door was shut, Robin’s manic energy seemed to fade somewhat, although he was still grinning hugely. “I love to do that,” he said as they started walking. “Stodgy beggar needs livening up every once in a while.”
“Doesn’t… all that annoy him, though?”
“Of course. That’s why I do it.” He laughed a little. “Winding up the Clover’s one of my favourite activities.”
Rina smiled a little, but said nothing. After a few moments, Robin noticed. “Hey, it’ll be fine. He’s used to me now, just avoids calling me up to his office unless he has to, and kicks me out as soon as he can when he does. I doubt he’ll have anything against you, though, you just happened to be in the room at the time.”
“I hope so. I just want to do well,” she replied, still a little nervous. “I think I upset a few people when I decided not to join Action.”
“Eh, I don’t blame you,” he shrugged. “It’s not for everyone, and Infrastructure always needs people too. Not the most exhilarating thing, accountancy. Everyone gets excited when there’s a new canon to handle fics for, but I’ve never seen anyone run around shouting, ‘There’s a new currency we need to deal with! We have to calculate the exchange rates! Recruit more accountants!’”
Rina giggled.
“There are a few positives, though. For one thing, the work here is much easier on everyone’s sanity. I haven’t seen anyone have a single psycho episode since I started. And people tend to stay longer, as well. Wrestling with numbers gets to be a habit after a while, and there aren’t really too many other options open. And - ah, we’re here.”
He led her into a large room filled with desks and filing cabinets, nodding to various people that they passed, until he reached a petite, mousy-haired woman whose very appearance practically screamed ‘accountant’. “Hello, Ellen. This’s Rina, she just got promoted out of the Nursery.”
Rina cringed slightly, but nodded. Ellen just smiled at her from behind thick-rimmed glasses. “Hello. Nice to meet you. Why don’t I show you your desk?”
“I can do it,” Robin put in.
“All right then.” She handed him a file. “Just get her started on the World One Agents, their currencies are easier to get to grips with. At least they have established exchange rates that we can keep tabs on.” The older woman turned to Rina again. “I’m pleased to see that the Nursery doesn't try to exclude Infrastructure from its training options altogether. Good to have you here.”
“Thank you,” Rina replied before following Robin to an empty desk. He sat down next to her.
“Let’s see how good you are with these figures,” he grinned, taking the first sheet out of her file.
***
A couple of hours later, Rina was getting to grips with the major currencies of World One and gleaning a lot of admiration from her new mentor in the process. “All right, I think that’s enough for now,” he chuckled as she finished one particularly involved calculation. “Let’s go and get a break.”
“We have actual breaks?” she queried as she stood up.
“Oh, yeah. Let me guess, most of what you know about working for the PPC comes from Action people?” he replied as they headed for the exit.
“Well, yes, I suppose it does.”
“I figured. Lemme explain, yeah? You see, Action have to tackle as many fics as they can, so they get their missions coming in 24/7. Most of the time, they can get their sleep and whatnot while they’re in-fic. Infrastructure don't get to sleep while they’re at work or anything like that, so we have actual scheduled shifts and breaks. Helps keep the sanity level up.”
“That sounds much easier to deal with.”
“It is, believe me,” he laughed. “I was in Action for a little while when I first got recruited, down in Technical Errors, but my strong point quite clearly wasn’t language. I was a total failure when it came to spotting the actual errors unless they were glaringly obvious, and the screwed place and time shifts messed my head up completely. They had to take me up to FicPsych in the end - probably on the verge of going flamethrower, I don't remember, but I’ve been told I was pretty psycho - and those guys put me through a load of tests, and finally figured out that I’m a hell of a lot better at maths than I am at English or whatever. Writing. So, once I was saner, they made the Uncommon Comma agree to let me go, and then got the Clover to take me on.” He shrugged and grinned. “Been here ever since.”
They turned into a large room that was fixed up with scattered sofas, armchairs, coffee tables and vending machines. “Welcome to the Lounge,” Robin said dramatically with a sweep of his arm. “This is where we spend most of our off-duty time - here or the Cafeteria. Let’s grab a coffee.”
A few minutes later, Rina was sitting on an old, worn, comfortable sofa, with a group of other Infrastructure Agents, all of whom her companion seemed to know. The teenager kept quiet most of the time, sipping her coffee and feeling a little sense of importance at her new situation. Robin seemed content to do all the talking required. Absently she wondered if he ever ran out of things to say.
“I doubt it,” a voice murmured in her ear. She jumped and turned round. Ellen smiled at her reassuringly. “Sometimes I think he’s not stopped talking since the day he joined Finance.”
“How did you know -?”
“What you were thinking?” Rina nodded. “I don't make an issue of it, but I have some weak telepathic abilities. I never did learn how to shut them off, so I pick up a lot of stuff that I didn’t really intend to.” The petite woman shrugged a little. “It’s kind of amusing to make a remark about what somebody’s thinking and see the look on their face. No offence taken, I hope?”
“No, of course not. It’s fine.”
“You’re a sweet girl, you know that?” Ellen finished off whatever she was drinking and stood up. “I’ll see you later. Maybe we can have a good chat then.”
“See you later,” Rina replied, watching her superior exit the room.
It wasn’t long before Robin tugged her to her feet. “We’d better get back. There’s a lot to do. I think someone was complaining about one of the storerooms needing organising.”
***
Rina stretched up to the shelf on her tiptoes, barely managing to reach the file she was after and nearly dropping it as it slid off. “Oof!”
“You all right?”
“I’m fine, I just overbalanced a bit. Got it, though.” She lifted it up a bit for his inspection. “The DOGA file dealing with payments and pay cuts for 2009.”
“Great. I’d like to get my hands on whoever’s been poking around in here, though. They’ve completely messed up the organisation system. DOGA stuff’s meant to be over here…” Robin led her through the huge room filled with stacked shelves to one particular set that was marked with the stylised flame that signified the Department of Geographical Aberrations. “Let’s see… 2006, 2007… well, that’s a bloody nuisance. Someone’s made off with the 2008 file. Here, give me that one you’ve got and see if you can find 2008.”
“Okay,” Rina replied, handing the thick package over and hurrying off.
She’d searched through half the Action Departments when the door at the other end of the room banged open and someone dashed in. Ignoring them, she carried on along the Bad Slash files, but her attention was called away when several more people rushed in.
“She came in here, all right.”
“Where’s the other doors?”
“I don't think there are any.”
“Spread out and look around. Keep an eye out for any escape routes. You two stay here in case she tries to sneak round behind us.”
“Gotcha.”
Rina hesitated, unsure whether to go and investigate or stay put. Then she heard Robin’s voice.
“Excuse me, but what’s going on?”
“Who are you?” That was the first voice she’d heard - a woman’s.
“Robin Samuel.”
“What are you doing in here?”
“I happen to work here, funnily enough. Or is my flashpatch invisible? No, I didn't think so. What the hell are the DIA doing here?”
“A Sue got into HQ from somebody’s mission and ran in here. Are there any other doors out of this room?”
“Not that I’ve found - wait, a Sue?”
The woman’s voice turned sarcastic. “No, the S.O.’s great-grandmother. Of course it’s a Sue.”
Robin’s voice dropped, but Rina was still able to hear him talking urgently. “One of my colleagues is in here - she’s fresh out of the Nursery, she won't be able to handle a Sue. If they run across each other…”
“You’ve got a point,” the strange voice agreed. “All units, we have one non-combatant in the area. If you find her, get her to safety. Priority on finding our Sue, but hold your fire unless you’re sure it’s the Sue you’ve found.”
Several crackly replies came back over what sounded like a radio. Although she was quite nervous about this whole situation, Rina had no intention of staying still and getting caught by the Sue - or mistaken for her - and decided to make a run for the door. A squeal of panic came from behind her as she dashed down one aisle, and gunfire broke out. The half-elven adolescent yelped and sped up, rounding a corner and running straight into someone.
“I’ve got her!” he shouted.
“I’m not a Sue!” she shrieked, trying to pull away.
“Hey - Rina, calm down, it’s me!”
She stopped struggling and looked up at her captor. It was Robin, whose expression of concern faded to one of relief, and then amusement. “Eventful first day, huh?”
“I’ll say,” she muttered, catching her breath. The DIA people began filtering back towards the door. A couple of them were carrying something humanoid and covered in sparkly stuff, at which Rina winced and looked away. The smell wasn't too pleasant either. One of the DIAers nodded to the two Finance Agents.
“Thank you both for your co-operation. You might want to contact Operations, though, this one made a bit of a splash.”
Robin sighed. “Thanks.” Once the Agents had left, he went to have a look at the mess, and came back groaning. “Just great. The janitors are going to have a fit when they see that.”
Rina looked sympathetic.
***
“Look at the positive side,” the young woman pointed out as she bent down to pull out yet another file, “at least she didn’t -”
“Don't say that!” Robin hissed.
“Say what?”
“‘At least she didn’t’” or ‘it could be worse’ or anything like that. That’s just asking for something worse to happen. Didn't they teach you anything in the Nursery? We don't attract attention from the Ironic Overpower.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I thought that didn't apply to us.”
“It applies to everyone, I’m afraid. That’s one thing we do have to suffer from as much as Action.”
“Right.” She felt a little sheepish. “But we found the DOGA file we wanted.”
“Yeah, right underneath where they blew the Sue’s head apart. I thought Ellen was going to have a fit when she saw the mess.”
“Well, it’s all sorted out now, so we can just get on with what we’re supposed to be doing.”
“Yeah. Reorganising the entire storeroom. Go us. I guess we should be thankful this room only holds the stuff from 2005 onwards.”
“Robin!” a familiar voice called.
“Yes, Satan?” the irrepressible young man replied with a grin, before turning round and coming face to face with Ellen. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else.”
“No, you didn’t,” she replied with a hit of amusement. “But I didn’t come up here for the pleasure of your company.”
“I’m heartbroken.”
“Stop that. I was going to point out that while you might enjoy working overtime, Rina might want to get some sleep.”
“Already?” the young woman in question blurted.
“Your shift ended about fifteen minutes ago, and you’ve been working flat-out all day - even without the excitement earlier.”
“Oh, yes, that’s terribly exciting, having the DIA come chasing after a Sue right past you,” Robin deadpanned.
Ellen shot him a cool look. “Would you rather have them come chasing after you again?”
“Oh, ouch.” He pretended to clutch at his heart, looking wounded. Rina got the impression that these two really enjoyed sniping at each other like this. Ellen gave her a quick wink and a nod.
“When I want your opinion, Agent Samuel, I’ll tell you. Anyway, the reason I came up here was to show you your new living quarters, Rina, if you’d care to take a look?”
The young woman glanced at Robin, who nodded. “All right,” she replied, putting her armful of paper down. “Thanks.”
The two women left the storeroom and headed out into the corridors. “I don’t know how familiar you’ll find the layout of your room,” Ellen said as they walked. “The bedrooms for most of us are converted RCs.”
“Converted how?”
“The consoles got taken out, seeing as we really don't need them, and a couple more comfortable items of furniture were added. It’s not like the Narrative Laws of Comedy can cause any real trouble, there’s just no opportunity. I guess it makes up for it while we’re working, but Legal wouldn't dare bother us too much - we control its budget.” She grinned. “Though, knowing them, they’ll do something like have a mini get into the paperwork tomorrow to get me back for that. Oh, we’re here.”
The door looked like all the others, except for the fact that the name on it read ‘Rina Telcontar, Department of Finance’. “I hope you’re comfortable here. The Lounge always has people in it, seeing as we have shifts round the clock, so it shouldn't be too difficult to find someone to talk to. Robin, if nobody else - I think he runs off a diet of pure caffeine, the way he behaves sometimes. Anyway, do you want to take a look around, or would you rather I left you in peace? All your things should have been moved up from your old room today, so…”
Rina couldn’t hide the jaw-splitting yawn that escaped her at that moment. “Sorry.”
“No, you go and get some rest. There should be an alarm in there for when you’re due for your next shift. Plenty of time for organising and all that later. Take care, hon, I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.” As Ellen departed briskly, the new Agent entered her room and wandered over to the bed. She really was tired… who’d have thought Finance would be such a tiring place to work? That was the last thought that crossed her mind before she drifted off.