(no subject)
Not enough time to construct a complete rant here, but I just caught the commercial for Kidz Bop 12.
I've positively loathed that series from day one. I've never completely understood who these CDs are for, even.
The kids? Why would prepubescent singers make anyone, kid or adult, like a song more?
I mean, they're taking "popular" songs and changing them. Doesn't that seem like a bad idea? The tracks didn't get airplay with Becky and Tommy from James Madison Middle singing lead.
I can only imagine that teachers would buy these to stockpile for the next 4H dance, to give to whatever Chemical Brothers-obsessed high school DJ ("Dude, I'm spinning out at Varner Community Hall on Saturday. You should totally come.") to make sure he doesn't put on anything untoward.
The song choice is so ridiculous. The series is called Kidz Bop (note the still hip 'z'. I SWEAR TO CHRIST, BETTY IN ACCOUNTING SAYS HER NEPHEW SAID IT'S STILL COOL) but they pick out some pretty suggestive stuff.
Take a song from this iteration, Maroon 5's "Makes Me Wonder."
I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry
I actually want to see how they mutilate that. I mean, the geniuses behind this series have a great track record so far:
from (sigh) Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend":
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious,
and hell yeah I'm the motherfucking princess
The glory of Kidz Bop translation:
Don't pretend I think you know I am precious
and so yeah I'm the hey hey princess
And after looking up a few things, (to hell with "not enough time," I'm rollin, bitches) I've found that the kids don't even sing the whole song. They come in on the chorus and they just get some adult male or female voice to sing the majority of the song. So anyone buying this for over and hour of kid shouting might be a little bit disappointed
.
Oh and this bit of horrifying American culture from an Entertainment Weekly review of Kidz Bop 8.
"It's one thing for the nameless tweens to join in on the chorus of Frankie J's slurpy ''Obsession (No Es Amor)'': At least they get to practice another language. But when the adult faux Frankie sings, ''We can do this all night/ Now I don't care if you got a man,'' and the kids reply with ''Baby, I wish you'd understand,'' it's a little creepy. And that's just one such example.
So, there you go. Remember that this stuff is marketed to kids, too. You'd better believe my children are never listening to tripe like this. However, we can all thank everything good and holy in this dimension or any other that this monstrosity wasn't around raping creativity in the '60s and '70s.
I've positively loathed that series from day one. I've never completely understood who these CDs are for, even.
The kids? Why would prepubescent singers make anyone, kid or adult, like a song more?
I mean, they're taking "popular" songs and changing them. Doesn't that seem like a bad idea? The tracks didn't get airplay with Becky and Tommy from James Madison Middle singing lead.
I can only imagine that teachers would buy these to stockpile for the next 4H dance, to give to whatever Chemical Brothers-obsessed high school DJ ("Dude, I'm spinning out at Varner Community Hall on Saturday. You should totally come.") to make sure he doesn't put on anything untoward.
The song choice is so ridiculous. The series is called Kidz Bop (note the still hip 'z'. I SWEAR TO CHRIST, BETTY IN ACCOUNTING SAYS HER NEPHEW SAID IT'S STILL COOL) but they pick out some pretty suggestive stuff.
Take a song from this iteration, Maroon 5's "Makes Me Wonder."
I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry
I actually want to see how they mutilate that. I mean, the geniuses behind this series have a great track record so far:
from (sigh) Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend":
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious,
and hell yeah I'm the motherfucking princess
The glory of Kidz Bop translation:
Don't pretend I think you know I am precious
and so yeah I'm the hey hey princess
And after looking up a few things, (to hell with "not enough time," I'm rollin, bitches) I've found that the kids don't even sing the whole song. They come in on the chorus and they just get some adult male or female voice to sing the majority of the song. So anyone buying this for over and hour of kid shouting might be a little bit disappointed
.
Oh and this bit of horrifying American culture from an Entertainment Weekly review of Kidz Bop 8.
"It's one thing for the nameless tweens to join in on the chorus of Frankie J's slurpy ''Obsession (No Es Amor)'': At least they get to practice another language. But when the adult faux Frankie sings, ''We can do this all night/ Now I don't care if you got a man,'' and the kids reply with ''Baby, I wish you'd understand,'' it's a little creepy. And that's just one such example.
So, there you go. Remember that this stuff is marketed to kids, too. You'd better believe my children are never listening to tripe like this. However, we can all thank everything good and holy in this dimension or any other that this monstrosity wasn't around raping creativity in the '60s and '70s.