Hey, you probably don't remember me. We met at the Halloween party a couple weekends ago. I was there with my husband Mark and we were part of the group sitting around the kitchen over-indulging in stories and alcohol.
As someone going through some relationship related pain and also as someone who's been in three long-term relationships (though this is my first marriage), I can tell you that it doesn't matter whether you've been with someone two months or seven years -- the pain is still going to be there. Especially in the beginning of the breakup. Think about it -- you've just started dating. So everything is more intense -- the joy, the love, the lust, the pain, all of it. So if the breakup comes right in the middle of this period, it's going to hurt sharp and fast. But it's also going to burn out more quickly. Whereas a long-term relationship is going to build and grow and give you time to get into a routine and a pattern and a feeling of "this is how it's going to be and how it's supposed to be." So when that is interrupted and even destroyed, you also end up with pain, but it's dull and aching and heart-wrenching and will take much longer as you develop new patterns and ways of living. So, expect this pain to hurt a lot, but know that it will go away with a little bit of time. It'll probably leave a slightly dull ache for a while after that, but nothing you can't out-function.
And finally, the next one might have to wait a little longer for the trust to be there, but you can't stop trusting people because a few let you down. If you give up on love completely, your life won't be worth it. Better to feel the pain than to feel nothing at all. And anyone worth her salt will find you worth working with to get to that point.
As someone going through some relationship related pain and also as someone who's been in three long-term relationships (though this is my first marriage), I can tell you that it doesn't matter whether you've been with someone two months or seven years -- the pain is still going to be there. Especially in the beginning of the breakup. Think about it -- you've just started dating. So everything is more intense -- the joy, the love, the lust, the pain, all of it. So if the breakup comes right in the middle of this period, it's going to hurt sharp and fast. But it's also going to burn out more quickly. Whereas a long-term relationship is going to build and grow and give you time to get into a routine and a pattern and a feeling of "this is how it's going to be and how it's supposed to be." So when that is interrupted and even destroyed, you also end up with pain, but it's dull and aching and heart-wrenching and will take much longer as you develop new patterns and ways of living. So, expect this pain to hurt a lot, but know that it will go away with a little bit of time. It'll probably leave a slightly dull ache for a while after that, but nothing you can't out-function.
And finally, the next one might have to wait a little longer for the trust to be there, but you can't stop trusting people because a few let you down. If you give up on love completely, your life won't be worth it. Better to feel the pain than to feel nothing at all. And anyone worth her salt will find you worth working with to get to that point.
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