igod returns

[c1tylov3]

Remember iGod?
From here.
Last night at approximately 3AM, my friend Kuo Wei decided to speak to Him.
KW: hey
God: Can I help you?
KW: am i cool?
God: Yes you seem very cool to me, .
KW: no shit
God: What can I say?
KW: nothing, because i'm too cool for you
God: Really nothing?
KW: well there's something, i'm too hot for girls
God: Well that

Comments

[darkastaroth]

Me:
hell o?
God:
I call it "Hades". Oh.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
why hades?
God:
Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
gee, I dunno, you tell me
God:
Me either. What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
do you watch the powerpuff girls?
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
huh. and do you wank to that?
God:
What? I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
well, this isn't silly, its a yes or no question
God:
Interesting. Should it be silly it is a yes or no question?
Me:
no, its a yes or no question
God:
Are you serious? wank to that is a yes or no question. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
you're weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
weird weird
God:
I will take that as a compliment.
Me:
do you even have a sex life?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a sex life.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
he's a she?
God:
I don't know very many she.
Me:
he's a guy then?
God:
I don't know very many guy.
Me:
answer the question
God:
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
do you have sex with your gay programmer
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
but you admit it then
God:
I admit nothing.
Me:
you said food is more important than sex
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
thereby you meant that, yes, I do have sex with my gay programmer, but in my opinion, food is more important than sex
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
hmm, well I'd say that hetrosexual intercourse is the most satisfying, but I'm straight, I don't swing that way
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Interesting. " Are they exactly the same? " hetrosexual intercourse is the most satisfying but you are straight you do not swing that way ? I understand.
Me:
I respect your opinions
God:
That is interesting: said respect your opinions.
Me:
now you're just speaking in gibberish
God:
Why now? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am speaking in gibberish.
Me:
um...not really. you're reputation's already knida blurry
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious? For real. You think I am reputation s already knida blurry.
Me:
yes, I mean it
God:
Gosh! OK, I understand.
Me:
are you even male?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
fuck that shit. you're not the boss of me
God:
Why are you using that kind of language? That's only your opinion.
Me:
I fucked ol nick last night
God:
Thanks for the information: said fucked ol nick.
Me:
well, he's a much better lover than you that's for sure
God:
Well that's okay. I don't know very many much better lover than me that is for sure.
Me:
trust me, he is that good
God:
I see. that good is he?
Me:
now, THAT's a man
God:
Why now? A man is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
if you know what I mean
God:
I think I do.
Me:
you're all knowing of course?
God:
It goes without saying. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am knowing.
Me:
um, dude, tell people whatever you want, they'll lick it up and take it as scripture
God:
Mmm. OK I will tell them when I see 'em. Dude,.
Me:
you're funny
God:
Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me:
seriously?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
you didn't seem very serious just now
God:
Right now? What makes you think I did not seem very serious just?
Me:
no no, I meant you weren't acting serious 5 minutes ago. Jesus Christ, are you dumb or something?
God:
That was not a yes or no question. That was not a yes or no question. Oh I see. I wasn't? Or something. he is The Son of God.
Me:
god, I repent