(no subject)
so.innocently.sweet.cute accent.awesome "tuke".hott pants.waiting outside for 10 minutes.jimmy neutron.oh crap i got the shaft.hott pink.melly.phone convos about ginch.random emails with kissing icons that made noise.nothing like standing at uplands school having a freezing cold talk for 2 hours in november.it was just so fun.so much fun.like i went thru so much after the whole "thing" and up until now it just hurt but going back...back to the walk,the outfit,the day,the cars driving by,the "urge" that i didn't even have time to laugh at.everything was just...so close.3 minutes later...10 minutes later...2 days later...(U)all gone. but i read it.i just sort of laughed.i had never been thru anything like that before in my life.either way i would have made the wrong choice but hey...cant win em all...perfect example.and there is nothing i can do now.or want to do.
why would i?
it took me 8 months to get over and now...ive got exactly what and who i need.unrelated to the situation entirely.im not willing to give that up.not now.not ever.and it was almost the same situation to get to where i am now.two options.this time i just made my decision faster.but this time there was no wrong choice.i saw an opportunity and i took it.cuz its about love.not for love.no die-for struggle to feel the same warmth that can be ripped from you in a moment like it was.i got it back.but from someone else.ive got my dArLin';) and he's all mine at the moment.
killed the paranoia and the pain.no longer afraid to be dropped and rejected.that doesn't mean that i like it or want it tho...and if it happens?i wont be ready,i know that but at least ill have a little more insight of how to handle it.you can never be fully prepared for heartbreak, but if you are expecting it,you're retarded.it only makes it worse because then theres the whole "i told you so"
for all of you with people out there expecting you to screw up.ignore them.i have a few and i dont care what they say,the past can change.people can change.im NOT giving up on this one
feel proud of me...
why would i?
it took me 8 months to get over and now...ive got exactly what and who i need.unrelated to the situation entirely.im not willing to give that up.not now.not ever.and it was almost the same situation to get to where i am now.two options.this time i just made my decision faster.but this time there was no wrong choice.i saw an opportunity and i took it.cuz its about love.not for love.no die-for struggle to feel the same warmth that can be ripped from you in a moment like it was.i got it back.but from someone else.ive got my dArLin';) and he's all mine at the moment.
killed the paranoia and the pain.no longer afraid to be dropped and rejected.that doesn't mean that i like it or want it tho...and if it happens?i wont be ready,i know that but at least ill have a little more insight of how to handle it.you can never be fully prepared for heartbreak, but if you are expecting it,you're retarded.it only makes it worse because then theres the whole "i told you so"
for all of you with people out there expecting you to screw up.ignore them.i have a few and i dont care what they say,the past can change.people can change.im NOT giving up on this one
feel proud of me...