moodswings are gettin worse.

[c0urtney_lynne]

i dont think i can too much more of this.
but the one emotion that hasnt changed is the loss i'm feeling.
i cant laugh or smile at anything anymore.
idk what's gotten into me.
sometimes, i wonder if i can take the emotional stress.
and i dont think that i can.
and what sucks the most, is that i cant even get a hold of him.
i know i shouldnt be trying to, but i have a couple of questions that have been bugging me.

this is not good at all.
and i wish that there was a way for me to tell how much i still love him without seeming all stalkerish.
the only thing that i can really think of is to send him a message on myspace.
but will he read the whole thing?
and he hardly ever gets on anymore.

i cant convince myself that i'm happy with this anymore.
because i'm not.
i'm miserable.
an empty little shell.
the days are getting longer and harder.

i just want him to know how badly this hurts.
and he says he did it because he doesnt wanna go through what i put him through again.
i need to somehow tell him that i didnt wanna do that, but i did it because i thought it would be better for both of us.
he broke up with me because i made a stupid mistake.
and i'm trying to figure out how to tell him that i'd be willing to work things out and that i'd do anything to fix my mistake.

but i just dont know how to tell him.