courtney finally brokedown.
and cried a bit at ashleigh's house.
how could i not??
nina and danneh were being all cute and happy.
ashleigh was going on about andrew being in texas and all i could think of was "at least you have him"
christie sent me a text saying "me and bobby go back out!!!!"
and then [[of cooooooourse]] "the long goodbye" by Brooks and Dunn was playing on my mp3 player,
it was too much.
i just wish i knew if he regrets his decision.
just the tiniest bit.
he says that he "didnt wanna go through it again" meaning when i broke up with him.
as if i'm stupid enough to make the same mistake!
i relaized that doing that was ridiculous.
and i tried my best to fix it.
but i guess it wasnt good enough.
he'll regret doing this to me.
he will.
maybe not this week.
but in a month or two.
maybe more.
when he realizes that we were the best thing to ever happen to each other.
but, me being me, i cant help but think.
what would've happened if i didnt break up with him??
would we still be together?
would we still be happy?
i dont think i can live a proper life without him.
i still love him.
with everything in whats left of my heart.
and i guess that he cant see that.
and even if he does, it wouldnt matter.
he was so many firsts for me.
and not like sexually or anything.
he was my first love.
and as corny as that sounds, it's the truth.
and to have that just tossed away like trash...
it's killing me.
just gnawing away at my innards.
i love that kid.
we fought like crazy.
we argued.
we weren't the perfect couple.
but i love him.
and i dont think i'll ever stop loving him.
this is just horrible.
and even if he does realize that doing this was a mistake, i'd never take him back.
i couldnt set myself up for failure again.
i really thought that we were gonna last forever.
i thought we were fall in love, get married and live happily ever after.
so much for my fairytale.
how could i not??
nina and danneh were being all cute and happy.
ashleigh was going on about andrew being in texas and all i could think of was "at least you have him"
christie sent me a text saying "me and bobby go back out!!!!"
and then [[of cooooooourse]] "the long goodbye" by Brooks and Dunn was playing on my mp3 player,
it was too much.
i just wish i knew if he regrets his decision.
just the tiniest bit.
he says that he "didnt wanna go through it again" meaning when i broke up with him.
as if i'm stupid enough to make the same mistake!
i relaized that doing that was ridiculous.
and i tried my best to fix it.
but i guess it wasnt good enough.
he'll regret doing this to me.
he will.
maybe not this week.
but in a month or two.
maybe more.
when he realizes that we were the best thing to ever happen to each other.
but, me being me, i cant help but think.
what would've happened if i didnt break up with him??
would we still be together?
would we still be happy?
i dont think i can live a proper life without him.
i still love him.
with everything in whats left of my heart.
and i guess that he cant see that.
and even if he does, it wouldnt matter.
he was so many firsts for me.
and not like sexually or anything.
he was my first love.
and as corny as that sounds, it's the truth.
and to have that just tossed away like trash...
it's killing me.
just gnawing away at my innards.
i love that kid.
we fought like crazy.
we argued.
we weren't the perfect couple.
but i love him.
and i dont think i'll ever stop loving him.
this is just horrible.
and even if he does realize that doing this was a mistake, i'd never take him back.
i couldnt set myself up for failure again.
i really thought that we were gonna last forever.
i thought we were fall in love, get married and live happily ever after.
so much for my fairytale.