Life is good,
I always say how Life is good, and it could always be worse, and its soo true, but tonight i feel like i went jogging and ran into a brick wall harder than ever before...
tonight me and alex got into a minor arguement, ok it wasnt that minor i was using caps and saying the F words (And Fag isnt one of them, they are Fuck and Fucking for those of you pricks who are mindless) anyhow, If ive showed you his pics you know how gorgous he is. well I told him that he raised my standards because hes hot and sweet. and ive told most of my friends that before also, but if i you missed the memo i use to only want a hot guy, but now they have to be hot and sweet, but hes like if i raised your standards thats not good cuz they were low to begin with, im like OH NO YOU JUST DIDNT because hes a fuckin hottie! well then i explain how he raised them and he says riiight, anyway... EVERY FUCKING TIME I TELL HIM A COMPLIMENT HE SAYS THAT! WHY CANT THIS DAMN BOY UNDERSTAND THAT IF I DIDNT THINK IT I WOULDNT TELL HIM THAT i mean seriously, you all know that if i dont like your outfit or your hair, Jess you know, i hate those jeans lol YOU KNOW THE ONES IM TALKING ABOUT! ha ha ha and i hate that one hoody but i love jaydens (sp) anyhow, you guys know how i am, well this man doesnt obviously so i basically tweek out on him literaly, and normally when i tweek out i feel bad, or he can tell me i make him smile and its over cuz im melted again, but not tonight, i was jacked. I'm like all caps,,, this may be dramatized, but im trying to be as actualy as i can be without quoting it im like (notice these are not actual quotes, its so you can know where the talking starts and ends "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT, YOU ALWAYS FUCKING PUT YOURSELF DOWN AND YOUR AN AMAZING GUY AND I'M SORRY IF YOU CANT SEE THAT" hes like "im a normal guy nothing special about me im sorry if you cant see that" so basically i tweek majorly cusing more than ever before to him and he just doesnt understand that i really did fall inlove with him but he will never believe that untill we get married which isnt gonna happen but even if we did he still wouldnt believe it, and yeah i tell you guys "i love you your awesome" or "love ya muah!" or "much love, muah" but i never say anything like "i love you soo much" or "your a amazing and sweet,,, I love you so much" and even when i tell my mom I love you it means something diferent. But i can understand why he doesnt belive me considering we never met, and we never dated, but i dont know ive never been inlove, and ive never felt this way about anyone how i feel for him, so why cant it be love? maybe im too optomistic, or maybe im fooling myself, but how do you know if you dont try. have you ever been at the end of a rainbow? well, at one end youll find me, but how do you know that alex isnt at the other end? he tells me all the time how crazy i am and i always tell him its his fault he is what drives me crazy and he is what thrives my craziness, and i love every bit of it. im not mad anymore even my ears and cheeks have cooled down, and he just send me some pictures that i cant share with any of you. no there not nude, there just ones that are for only me. god bless him, he is a sweetheart, and he is a babe, and when he saw that i was pissed about him not caring about himself he was like "ok ok im special, i know i am dont be mad" i was like "dont tell me that so im not mad anymore, id rather you let me be mad than lie to me" but im so glad its over with, and i still love him just as much as i did before the arguement. I really try not to tell him that i love him because sometimes i think it might creep him out, plus he never believes it, so i told him im not gonna tell it if hes not gonna believe it but when we argue, i dont know how else to show him how much i care for him accept with an "i love you" i dont know, i guess thats about it for now about alex, he is a sweetheart and no hes not a 10, there is no number that can rate him, not even infinity can rate this boy.
by the way, for anyone who hasnt heard about alex, just ask Jess, Katie D., Katie G., Lilly, Beth, or ask my Mom, Tina, Jenna, Sarah, Emily, or even Stef who has been at basic. I'm sure they can all tell you about alex. Not all of them no what he looks like, but they all know how sweet he is, how cute he is, how wonderful and amazing he is. Most of them know all the things hes done for me, like when he was going to bed and i didnt want him to go. He set up his webcam so that I could watch him sleep. Now seriously how sweet was that, i cant think of another sould who would ever do that for anyone! Also, he has been picked by some modeling thing. and that doesnt make me want him more, it just makes me that much prouder to be able to say that i know him and hes wonderful. I know he can do anything he puts his mind to but thats a whole other episode.
There was other stuff I was going to say, but I just cant even remember. so I guess Im gonna go but if I think of it Ill be posting again :) lol NIGHT! LOVE YALL WHO READ THIS WHOLE THING... MUAH!!!
tonight me and alex got into a minor arguement, ok it wasnt that minor i was using caps and saying the F words (And Fag isnt one of them, they are Fuck and Fucking for those of you pricks who are mindless) anyhow, If ive showed you his pics you know how gorgous he is. well I told him that he raised my standards because hes hot and sweet. and ive told most of my friends that before also, but if i you missed the memo i use to only want a hot guy, but now they have to be hot and sweet, but hes like if i raised your standards thats not good cuz they were low to begin with, im like OH NO YOU JUST DIDNT because hes a fuckin hottie! well then i explain how he raised them and he says riiight, anyway... EVERY FUCKING TIME I TELL HIM A COMPLIMENT HE SAYS THAT! WHY CANT THIS DAMN BOY UNDERSTAND THAT IF I DIDNT THINK IT I WOULDNT TELL HIM THAT i mean seriously, you all know that if i dont like your outfit or your hair, Jess you know, i hate those jeans lol YOU KNOW THE ONES IM TALKING ABOUT! ha ha ha and i hate that one hoody but i love jaydens (sp) anyhow, you guys know how i am, well this man doesnt obviously so i basically tweek out on him literaly, and normally when i tweek out i feel bad, or he can tell me i make him smile and its over cuz im melted again, but not tonight, i was jacked. I'm like all caps,,, this may be dramatized, but im trying to be as actualy as i can be without quoting it im like (notice these are not actual quotes, its so you can know where the talking starts and ends "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT, YOU ALWAYS FUCKING PUT YOURSELF DOWN AND YOUR AN AMAZING GUY AND I'M SORRY IF YOU CANT SEE THAT" hes like "im a normal guy nothing special about me im sorry if you cant see that" so basically i tweek majorly cusing more than ever before to him and he just doesnt understand that i really did fall inlove with him but he will never believe that untill we get married which isnt gonna happen but even if we did he still wouldnt believe it, and yeah i tell you guys "i love you your awesome" or "love ya muah!" or "much love, muah" but i never say anything like "i love you soo much" or "your a amazing and sweet,,, I love you so much" and even when i tell my mom I love you it means something diferent. But i can understand why he doesnt belive me considering we never met, and we never dated, but i dont know ive never been inlove, and ive never felt this way about anyone how i feel for him, so why cant it be love? maybe im too optomistic, or maybe im fooling myself, but how do you know if you dont try. have you ever been at the end of a rainbow? well, at one end youll find me, but how do you know that alex isnt at the other end? he tells me all the time how crazy i am and i always tell him its his fault he is what drives me crazy and he is what thrives my craziness, and i love every bit of it. im not mad anymore even my ears and cheeks have cooled down, and he just send me some pictures that i cant share with any of you. no there not nude, there just ones that are for only me. god bless him, he is a sweetheart, and he is a babe, and when he saw that i was pissed about him not caring about himself he was like "ok ok im special, i know i am dont be mad" i was like "dont tell me that so im not mad anymore, id rather you let me be mad than lie to me" but im so glad its over with, and i still love him just as much as i did before the arguement. I really try not to tell him that i love him because sometimes i think it might creep him out, plus he never believes it, so i told him im not gonna tell it if hes not gonna believe it but when we argue, i dont know how else to show him how much i care for him accept with an "i love you" i dont know, i guess thats about it for now about alex, he is a sweetheart and no hes not a 10, there is no number that can rate him, not even infinity can rate this boy.
by the way, for anyone who hasnt heard about alex, just ask Jess, Katie D., Katie G., Lilly, Beth, or ask my Mom, Tina, Jenna, Sarah, Emily, or even Stef who has been at basic. I'm sure they can all tell you about alex. Not all of them no what he looks like, but they all know how sweet he is, how cute he is, how wonderful and amazing he is. Most of them know all the things hes done for me, like when he was going to bed and i didnt want him to go. He set up his webcam so that I could watch him sleep. Now seriously how sweet was that, i cant think of another sould who would ever do that for anyone! Also, he has been picked by some modeling thing. and that doesnt make me want him more, it just makes me that much prouder to be able to say that i know him and hes wonderful. I know he can do anything he puts his mind to but thats a whole other episode.
There was other stuff I was going to say, but I just cant even remember. so I guess Im gonna go but if I think of it Ill be posting again :) lol NIGHT! LOVE YALL WHO READ THIS WHOLE THING... MUAH!!!