I need some feed back from my friends...
This is an email that I sent to my gram, and most of you know how my gram is to me but if not it doesnt much matter, but read this email that i sent her and tell me if its ok or what you guys think or how you feel after reading it (its too late if its not ok tho cuz i already sent it but read and comment anyhow) after writing this i was bawling and my freakin makeup ran, but here it is................
Dear Gram, I love you so much, but sometimes I feel like you think I'm a joke, and you don't take me seriously when I tell you that I'm going to be an actor and make something of myself, I don't know if you realize your doing it when you do it, but it hurts alot. You have to have faith in me and my dreams, even if you don't think they are possible you have to imagine that they are, I know that I didn't grow up in a famous family or a rich family, and I know that you never had dreams of either. But I do, I'm different and I wish you could see that. I love you so much and I just want you to believe in me. I'm not sure why you don't and maybe you don't even know,,, I'm not emailing you looking for answers, thats what god is for, I know I dont go to church and I'm not extremely religous but I do believe in god and always will. Sometimes I feel like I could talk to you till I'm blue in the face and you don't get it, and you probably never will, but I am me and I will not let anyone get in the way of my dreams. My dad always tried to bring me down and make me feel like I couldn't do anything with my life, and now that he's not you are. and it just hurts me so much you have no idea. I know that you think I can't move away from mom but I can,,, I CAN! and I will inspite of everything you might think, I know that I can and I know that I can be someone and something and people will remember me when I die, maybe you never had these dreams but I do, I'm not gonna just get swept up in the dust and I know it will be hard but what is good inlife that isnt hard, you probably think because of how aunt flo spoiled me that im a spoiled brat and think everything is going to be handed to me on a platter but IM NOT and I know that if you want something you have to work for it. I know that I wish for alot and I dream about a lot but theres somethings no matter how hard I try to work for it I can't get it and one of those things is your respect and approval. Nothing I do can ever gain your respect like I have for you. And nothing I ever do will make you happy, I can try all my life and it still won't be good enough for you, but I'm not doing it for you, and I'm not doing it for Steve or Jim, or Cris, or even Jesse. I'm doing it for myself and to provide a better life for my Mom. So please even if my dreams aren't what yours are, or what you think mine should be, or even if you think that they are unrealistic, just please try to believe in me and pretend, just for once in my life please pretend that I can do anything I set my mind to, maybe I was raised diferent than you, but I doubt its much different considering your mom raised you and you raised my mom and she raised me. But someone somewhere taught me that if I want it bad enough and I work really hard for it I can have it so I'm going to. I love you so much and I dont want anything from you accept your support. Well it's getting really late and I have to get to bed, I'm helping Cris paint her house tomorow, but before I go, I have song lyrics to one of my favorite songs, please read them and believe...
Kelly Clarkson ~*~"Breakaway"~*~
Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stared out my window
Dreaming of a could-be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)
Trying not to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway
[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway
[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around wild indoors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway
I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway