(no subject)
it's me again, come to peck out my feelings onto this keyboard. classes and my job are in full swing, each going fairly well considering that i've taken on more responsibilities this yr. the busyness is good, keeps me from missing adam and distacts me from the feeling that i've out grown this place. something is nawing at me, a small voice from within myself that is only audible in those rare moments when my mind isn't running through a list of things to do. i'm losing myself, it whispers to me, i'm losing myself and everything i've learned in the past few yrs. my symptoms? i've become disconnected from my spirit. The world has faded to a pale black and white. i haven't found wonderment in the small things around me for awhile now. I saw a marnarch butterfly this week and nearly buzzed passed it without a 2nd glance. i feel the old tinge of insecurity tuggin at the coat tails of my cofidence. The bald head which once symbolized a fearless statement of self acceptance is suddenly bothering me. i'm not sure what started the unraveling of all i've become, but i do know that i'm not the same girl i was a few yrs ago. i now know that happiness is a choice we make every day, and that nothing can be taken from us unless we give it up.. what i lose is my choice and i will not give up who i've become.