(no subject)
Stalked again, a rant by c0lt.
monkey1103 is stalking c0lt
monkey1103’s REAL name :
Jeanice Keefe
monkey1103’s REAL DOB :
24th May 1982
Height :153 cm
Weight : 65.5 kg
monkey1103 has dreamt about you :
13 times
monkey1103 became interested in you :
01st July 2004
monkey1103’s latest dream about you
monkey1103 and c0lt make passionate love on a condom strewn beach in Belgium to the sound of George Michael’s Careless Whisper playing in the distance.
This is how monkey1103 describes your relationship behind your back
‘Whenever I pass c0lt’s in the street, part of me wants to shout ‘Just Fuck me now baby!'’
monkey1103’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
For the last year monkey1103 has been pilfering c0lt’s mothers bras from her lingerie drawer.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
In the past year monkey1103 has spent their entire life savings on cosmetic surgery in an attempt to look more like you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Hug me. Kiss me. Fuck me.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
24 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Dear Jesus no! Send around a squad car quick, I’ve just killed someone. Their name is monkey1103. Stop bloody laughing! That’s their real name! monkey1103 threatened to kill me on multiple occasions and they came around tonight to finish off the job so I used my lava lamp in self defense and now the bastards on the ground without a pulse."
monkey1103’s Police File
monkey1103 can be quite pleasant when he’s not trying to gouge peoples eyes out with a plastic fork.
Testimonies about monkey1103
gatekpr - A spouse-beating alco
‘I always suspected monkey1103 was a little weird, but never THIS weird.’
kittycat1377 - Dry your eyes
‘Surprise Surprise, monkey1103’s a dirty fucker? Tell me something different.’
incused - Overweight cult comedian
‘Are you serious? Fucking hell. I should’ve known. Something tells me that monkey1103 is going to die pretty shortly.’
morwinyon - Sister Stabatha
‘I would not piss on monkey1103 if they were on fire.’