Blarg

[c0b4l7]

In the beginning I tried to care about everything. If there was an issue or a problem and I caught wind of it, I would do my best to solve it. Rationally if there is a problem it should be fixed. This is a concept so basic even nature can recognize it and act on it.

But not every problem is for me to solve and there are problems beyond my capability to solve.

So I tried to care about everyone. Surely everyone wants to be happy. If we work together all the problems will be fixed and everyone can be happy.

But I found sometimes I was selfish and since truly this was wrong. I prioritized.

So I tried to care about everyone else. If I focus more on the general good and less on what made me happy the world could truly be a better place, and I could help it get there.

Then I found not everyone works well together. Moreover, not everyone seems to want to be happy.

So I tried to care about the people around me. I may not be able to help everyone but surely a smaller circle will be much easier to manage.

But interests still collide and still, I am overwhelmed.

So I tried to care about a select few. If I make sure at least the closest to me are happy truly I can still feel the warmth it brings.

But I've found this boundary is distinctly difficult to make without shutting out the world. And apparently I'm not the only one who can be selfish.

Not to be discouraged I simply tried to focus my energy further when possible.

More times now, than I'd like, over the years I've seen my closest friend unhappy.

Truly this is where I felt the greatest disappointment when consistently I couldn't even make them happy.

And to think before I wanted to fix everything...