Services - Puck/Kurt
Title: Services
Author: bzbrit
Prompt: #67 - Kurt hires Puck for his pool services. Puck wrongly expects Kurt to want the 'extras'.
Rating: PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Puck/Kurt, Burt
Warnings: None I can think of...
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, these characters are not mine.
Summary: "Yeah, my pool's really dirty."
-
It all started with a hot summer day.
"No, Kurt, we will not install air-conditioning systems in every room of our house."
Burt Hummel and his son were at their garage, working on a client's car. Even though Burt was the one doing all the hard work, the teenager looked ten times more exhausted. He kept cleaning his face with a tissue (that never got anywhere near grease, obviously), and complaining about everything that came to his mind. This time, he was actually protesting about the cause of all his stress: the 95°F temperature.
"But dad, this heat is killing me!", he said, dramatically waving his hand to his face, trying to produce wind. "I'm actually sweating, and my pores are the size of my nostrils. Do you want your son - your only son! - to have zits? Choose your answer wisely."
"Son, I'm sorry, but you're just gonna have to think of something else." Seeing the boy's offended look, Burt guiltily added: "Hey, how about the pool?"
Bad answer. His son's face turned from hurt to outraged. "Dad, is the temperature affecting your brain? We've never used our pool! There are probably microscopical forests in there."
Being nose-deep under the car's hood, Burt's voice was muffled when he answered:
"Well, then hire someone to clean it! I'm sure you won't regret this."
Burt had no idea what he was getting Kurt into.
*
"Hey Puck, can I talk to you for a moment?"
Glee practice had just ended, and Kurt lingered in the practice room while Puck was packing his guitar. Puck turned around and visibly tensed when he saw there was only the soprano in the room with him.
"I promise I'll stop!"
"What?" The jock's outburst took Kurt by surprise, but he kept his expression frozen. "What are you talking about? I just wanted to ask you a favor. Sort of."
At that, Puck relaxed a bit, yet he was still gripping his guitar case.
"Oh, okay. I probably won't do it, but ask anyway."
"I was just wondering if you had anything to do next Friday." Kurt asked, nonchalantly. "I need your pool-cleaning services."
Puck's eyes widened in an almost comical way. However, he recovered himself pretty quickly, for he started smirking instead. Kurt, for his own sake, pretended he didn't notice.
"Oh, you need my services, you say?"
"Yeah, my pool's really dirty", said Kurt, looking at him confusedly. "So, can you come?"
By that point Puck had a maniacal look on his face. He deliberately licked his lips and took a step towards Kurt, who was now not only confused, but also slightly appalled.
"Dirty, is it? Well, if that's the case, I'll definitely come. Five's good for you?"
"... Sure. See you then."
Kurt picked up his bag and left, walking a bit faster than normal. Back in the practice room, Puck was still grinning widely.
"Oh, I can't wait."
*
The week dragged on for both of the boys.
Kurt was still bothered by the weather, taking it out on basically everyone who looked at him twice. Puck, on the other hand, was all smiles. He was even approached by Ms. Pillsbury, who had received many notes from terrified students, and told him that if this was a new bullying technique, he should stop it already.
But in reality, Puck was truly happy. He had been waiting for an opportunity to give Kurt a go, and it had finally appeared. He thought the boy was kind of hot, and wasn't surprised to know that his feelings were mutual. After all, his "pool-cleaning" services were well known.
So now all he had to do was go to the Hummel's, pour some chlorine in water, have his way with Kurt and get paid for it.
Best. Job. Ever.
*
When Friday arrived, it was not a moment too soon. Puck had even decided to show up early at the "job". You know, since he's such a hard-working boy.
He knocked on the door and waited. A few seconds later, Kurt opened it, his face flushed even though he was cooling himself with an expensive-looking hand-held fan.
"Hey Hummel."
Damn him if Kurt didn't look hot as hell, all red like a pepper; he looked ready to be ravished. Puck could simply tackle him to the ground, and --
He stopped his train of thought before getting himself into a situation he couldn't reverse. He should work, and then play; that's what his mother always told him. Focusing again, he heard Kurt answering him.
"Hello, Noah. May I ask why are you not wearing a shirt?"
Well, maybe I can play just a little, Puck thought.
"Dude, have you seen how hot it is?", he said, not-so-absentmindedly passing a hand through his torso.
It didn't look possible, but bless him, Kurt actually managed to blush. Puck gave himself a mental high-five.
"What?!", Kurt shrieked, despite himself.
"The weather, Hummel. It's so hot I wouldn't even wear pants if I could."
Kurt closed his fan with a swift motion, something he probably spent a lot of time practicing.
"Right." He straightened up his spine and looked at some point near Puck's shoulder. "Please spare me of your naked thoughts, if you may. And come on in already, you have a lot of work to do."
Puck followed Kurt through the house, using the opportunity the check out his ass. Yeah, he thought, today's gonna be a good day. He was already having fun with the fact that Kurt was playing difficult; most of his MILF's got right to the point, so it was nice to change up a bit. Besides, that probably meant rough sex. His mind was again occupied with the mental images of what would happen soon, so much that he nearly fell over Kurt when the boy abruptly stopped.
Taking a look around, Puck found himself in front of a pool of nearly-olympic proportions, complete with a hydro massage area and even a freaking stone-angel, ready to spill water from a vase. The damn kid really was that rich.
"Here it is!", Kurt said, spreading his arms as if to embrace the pool. "Have fun." And with that, he turned to leave.
Puck was astonished; he was used to having clients that liked to watch him work. It was practically part of the job description he had in his mind (something on the lines of "I'll bend over a few times, scratch my stomach and wipe off the sweat from my forehead, all in slow motion"), so he was a bit surprised that Kurt wouldn't want that. It was almost foreplay.
"Where are you going?"
"To my bedroom, of course!", Kurt turned to face him while opening his fan again, using another dramatic move of his hand. "You didn't really think that I'd stay here in this oven, watching you scrub tiles, now did you?" He laughed a little, and Puck felt himself flinching. "Don't worry though, I'll come check on you in about an hour. Buh-bye!"
Puck could only watch as Kurt left, still waving the fan. The boy sure wasn't making it easy on him, but Puck liked the challenge. He already had a plan in mind; he would just have to finish with the pool fast.
*
48 minutes, many cleaning products and a tough case of algae later, the pool was in perfect condition. The stone-angel was even smiling at Puck - or so he thought. Maybe the time he spent under the sun fried his brain a little. He didn't care.
It took him a lot of effort to finish it all before Kurt's stipulated time, but he did it. Taking a quick look at himself on a nearby mirror and checking out his guns and sweaty abs, he smiled at his reflection. Scoring with Kurt would be dead-easy.
With that in mind, he strolled off to find the boy's room.
*
It wasn't easy to find it - how the hell was he supposed to know that the boy slept in the fucking basement? -, but he eventually did. He was now looking at the star attached to the door, Kurt's name written on it.
Puck ran a hand through his mohawk and told himself to keep his cool. He didn't normally get nervous in situations like these, but somehow with Kurt things were different. Yeah, he thought, that's because he's a dude. That's all.
He gave himself a slight slap on the face, and opened the door without knocking.
And there he was, the prize for all his hard work. Half-sitting on the bed, reading a book and listening to his iPod, quietly humming along to what appeared to be Mariah Carey's "Emotions". Not that Puck listened to her music for any other reason than her fantastic boobs, of course.
He took advantage of the fact that Kurt was too absorbed in his own world to approach him without being noticed. He got to his side before Kurt saw him; when he did, he nearly jumped out of his skin, throwing his book in the air and giving a high-pitched scream.
Puck gave him his dirtiest grin. Was it going to be that easy?
"Hold your screams, Hummel. For now, at least."
"Jesus, Puck!", said Kurt, landing a hand on his chest to try and calm his rapidly beating heart. "A little warning would be nice! And what are you doing here, anyway?"
He looked around the room before answering, trying not to show his surprise when he realized that Kurt had his own apartment inside his house. "Oh, not much. Just finished with the pool and thought I'd come here so we could, you know... Hang out."
As he said that, Puck started casually climbing on Kurt's bed. He laid beside Kurt, facing him, holding his head up with his hand.
Kurt just looked at him, more confused than ever.
"Uhm... Okay?" It was more of a question than a statement. He turned off his iPod and started getting up. "I'll just turn the TV on, and -- Puck, what are you doing?"
Puck was now fully on top of Kurt, straddling him. He kept both his hands on the sides of Kurt's head, keeping him in place.
"What I just said: hanging out."
"Is this your idea of hanging out?!", Kurt asked, blushing once more.
"Do you have a better one?"
To make sure Kurt wasn't going to say something stupid and spoil the moment, Puck started kissing his neck. Kurt's body responded almost instantaneously, his muscles relaxing and his back arching.
"I... Hmm..."
Puck smirked through his kisses. "Exactly. Now, why don't we get these clothes out of the way so we can--"
At the mention of clothes, Kurt's brain started working again. As if hit by an electrical shock, he jolted, sitting upright and consequently throwing Puck off of him.
"What's wrong, babe?"
Puck had been pushed to the floor, but he didn't look defeated in the slightest. He was already on his knees, ready to get back to where he was. Kurt noticed that, so he promptly got off the bed himself.
"What's wrong? You're Noah Puckerman! You used to throw me in dumpsters!"
Puck was on the bed again, but remained on all fours. He looked like a kitten, waiting for his owner to go and scratch behind his ear. Before noticing how pathetic that was, Kurt almost did.
"Yeah, but that's in the past now!", Puck said, his voice smooth. "It doesn't matter anymore, all that matters is you and me..."
Puck began crawling towards Kurt. His eyes were half-closed and his head was tilting... Kurt didn't think twice.
He punched him.
Falling back, Puck grabbed his nose, which was bleeding. Kurt tried to pretend that his hand didn't hurt like hell.
"Dude, what the fuck?", Puck cursed, looking at Kurt with a wounded expression.
"I ask you the same, Puckerman! What do you think you're doing, sneaking into people's bedrooms and trying to steal their first kisses?"
Puck was so outraged (and partially surprised that Kurt could actually punch someone without worrying about his manicure) he didn't even listen to the part about 'first kisses'. He got off the bed and cleaned his bloodied hand on his jeans.
"I thought this was what you wanted! Isn't it why you hired my pool-cleaning services?"
Realization hit Kurt so hard he took a step back.
"What? You thought I wanted to be one of your MILF's?!"
Puck frowned and tilted his head while answering: "Technically, you couldn't be a MILF, since you're not a mother, but--"
If Kurt hadn't punched him already, he would have now. Instead, he just glared at him.
"Shut up, your inarticulate bumble! I wanted you to clean my pool because I wanted. A clean. Pool!"
Puck never thought of that possibility. He didn't know what to say, so he just shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. Kurt, though, looked like he was expecting something more, so he said:
"Sorry, man. I just thought it was all, you know... Part of the package. But just so you know, I don't normally throw myself at my clients like that."
Kurt's confusion was back at full speed. He took a moment to understand what Puck had said. Before he realized it, Puck was already going up the stairs. He followed him towards the front door.
"What does that even mean?"
Turning around, Puck smiled a little. Kurt had to fight not to instinctively smile back.
"It means I like you, dumbass. Weren't you supposed to be the smart one?"
They reached the door, and Kurt talked before he could stop himself:
"Well, if you behave I might invite you to use my brand-new pool with me any day."
Puck smiled again before opening the door and walking out.
"I never behave, Kurt, don't you know that?"
*
Later that day, Burt Hummel came home to find Kurt lounging in a chair by the pool, looking fresh and renewed. He smiled at his son.
"So, I see you've taken my advice?"
Kurt smiled broadly at his father and took a sip of his ice tea. "Sure, dad! It was a great idea indeed. In fact, I've been thinking: my bed is creaking a bit, maybe I should call up that handy man again to take a look at it."
"Whatever you say, Kurt!"
Burt ruffled his son's hair before going to get his shorts to take a dip in the pool himself. Again, he had no idea what his son was getting into.
Author: bzbrit
Prompt: #67 - Kurt hires Puck for his pool services. Puck wrongly expects Kurt to want the 'extras'.
Rating: PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Puck/Kurt, Burt
Warnings: None I can think of...
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, these characters are not mine.
Summary: "Yeah, my pool's really dirty."
-
It all started with a hot summer day.
"No, Kurt, we will not install air-conditioning systems in every room of our house."
Burt Hummel and his son were at their garage, working on a client's car. Even though Burt was the one doing all the hard work, the teenager looked ten times more exhausted. He kept cleaning his face with a tissue (that never got anywhere near grease, obviously), and complaining about everything that came to his mind. This time, he was actually protesting about the cause of all his stress: the 95°F temperature.
"But dad, this heat is killing me!", he said, dramatically waving his hand to his face, trying to produce wind. "I'm actually sweating, and my pores are the size of my nostrils. Do you want your son - your only son! - to have zits? Choose your answer wisely."
"Son, I'm sorry, but you're just gonna have to think of something else." Seeing the boy's offended look, Burt guiltily added: "Hey, how about the pool?"
Bad answer. His son's face turned from hurt to outraged. "Dad, is the temperature affecting your brain? We've never used our pool! There are probably microscopical forests in there."
Being nose-deep under the car's hood, Burt's voice was muffled when he answered:
"Well, then hire someone to clean it! I'm sure you won't regret this."
Burt had no idea what he was getting Kurt into.
*
"Hey Puck, can I talk to you for a moment?"
Glee practice had just ended, and Kurt lingered in the practice room while Puck was packing his guitar. Puck turned around and visibly tensed when he saw there was only the soprano in the room with him.
"I promise I'll stop!"
"What?" The jock's outburst took Kurt by surprise, but he kept his expression frozen. "What are you talking about? I just wanted to ask you a favor. Sort of."
At that, Puck relaxed a bit, yet he was still gripping his guitar case.
"Oh, okay. I probably won't do it, but ask anyway."
"I was just wondering if you had anything to do next Friday." Kurt asked, nonchalantly. "I need your pool-cleaning services."
Puck's eyes widened in an almost comical way. However, he recovered himself pretty quickly, for he started smirking instead. Kurt, for his own sake, pretended he didn't notice.
"Oh, you need my services, you say?"
"Yeah, my pool's really dirty", said Kurt, looking at him confusedly. "So, can you come?"
By that point Puck had a maniacal look on his face. He deliberately licked his lips and took a step towards Kurt, who was now not only confused, but also slightly appalled.
"Dirty, is it? Well, if that's the case, I'll definitely come. Five's good for you?"
"... Sure. See you then."
Kurt picked up his bag and left, walking a bit faster than normal. Back in the practice room, Puck was still grinning widely.
"Oh, I can't wait."
*
The week dragged on for both of the boys.
Kurt was still bothered by the weather, taking it out on basically everyone who looked at him twice. Puck, on the other hand, was all smiles. He was even approached by Ms. Pillsbury, who had received many notes from terrified students, and told him that if this was a new bullying technique, he should stop it already.
But in reality, Puck was truly happy. He had been waiting for an opportunity to give Kurt a go, and it had finally appeared. He thought the boy was kind of hot, and wasn't surprised to know that his feelings were mutual. After all, his "pool-cleaning" services were well known.
So now all he had to do was go to the Hummel's, pour some chlorine in water, have his way with Kurt and get paid for it.
Best. Job. Ever.
*
When Friday arrived, it was not a moment too soon. Puck had even decided to show up early at the "job". You know, since he's such a hard-working boy.
He knocked on the door and waited. A few seconds later, Kurt opened it, his face flushed even though he was cooling himself with an expensive-looking hand-held fan.
"Hey Hummel."
Damn him if Kurt didn't look hot as hell, all red like a pepper; he looked ready to be ravished. Puck could simply tackle him to the ground, and --
He stopped his train of thought before getting himself into a situation he couldn't reverse. He should work, and then play; that's what his mother always told him. Focusing again, he heard Kurt answering him.
"Hello, Noah. May I ask why are you not wearing a shirt?"
Well, maybe I can play just a little, Puck thought.
"Dude, have you seen how hot it is?", he said, not-so-absentmindedly passing a hand through his torso.
It didn't look possible, but bless him, Kurt actually managed to blush. Puck gave himself a mental high-five.
"What?!", Kurt shrieked, despite himself.
"The weather, Hummel. It's so hot I wouldn't even wear pants if I could."
Kurt closed his fan with a swift motion, something he probably spent a lot of time practicing.
"Right." He straightened up his spine and looked at some point near Puck's shoulder. "Please spare me of your naked thoughts, if you may. And come on in already, you have a lot of work to do."
Puck followed Kurt through the house, using the opportunity the check out his ass. Yeah, he thought, today's gonna be a good day. He was already having fun with the fact that Kurt was playing difficult; most of his MILF's got right to the point, so it was nice to change up a bit. Besides, that probably meant rough sex. His mind was again occupied with the mental images of what would happen soon, so much that he nearly fell over Kurt when the boy abruptly stopped.
Taking a look around, Puck found himself in front of a pool of nearly-olympic proportions, complete with a hydro massage area and even a freaking stone-angel, ready to spill water from a vase. The damn kid really was that rich.
"Here it is!", Kurt said, spreading his arms as if to embrace the pool. "Have fun." And with that, he turned to leave.
Puck was astonished; he was used to having clients that liked to watch him work. It was practically part of the job description he had in his mind (something on the lines of "I'll bend over a few times, scratch my stomach and wipe off the sweat from my forehead, all in slow motion"), so he was a bit surprised that Kurt wouldn't want that. It was almost foreplay.
"Where are you going?"
"To my bedroom, of course!", Kurt turned to face him while opening his fan again, using another dramatic move of his hand. "You didn't really think that I'd stay here in this oven, watching you scrub tiles, now did you?" He laughed a little, and Puck felt himself flinching. "Don't worry though, I'll come check on you in about an hour. Buh-bye!"
Puck could only watch as Kurt left, still waving the fan. The boy sure wasn't making it easy on him, but Puck liked the challenge. He already had a plan in mind; he would just have to finish with the pool fast.
*
48 minutes, many cleaning products and a tough case of algae later, the pool was in perfect condition. The stone-angel was even smiling at Puck - or so he thought. Maybe the time he spent under the sun fried his brain a little. He didn't care.
It took him a lot of effort to finish it all before Kurt's stipulated time, but he did it. Taking a quick look at himself on a nearby mirror and checking out his guns and sweaty abs, he smiled at his reflection. Scoring with Kurt would be dead-easy.
With that in mind, he strolled off to find the boy's room.
*
It wasn't easy to find it - how the hell was he supposed to know that the boy slept in the fucking basement? -, but he eventually did. He was now looking at the star attached to the door, Kurt's name written on it.
Puck ran a hand through his mohawk and told himself to keep his cool. He didn't normally get nervous in situations like these, but somehow with Kurt things were different. Yeah, he thought, that's because he's a dude. That's all.
He gave himself a slight slap on the face, and opened the door without knocking.
And there he was, the prize for all his hard work. Half-sitting on the bed, reading a book and listening to his iPod, quietly humming along to what appeared to be Mariah Carey's "Emotions". Not that Puck listened to her music for any other reason than her fantastic boobs, of course.
He took advantage of the fact that Kurt was too absorbed in his own world to approach him without being noticed. He got to his side before Kurt saw him; when he did, he nearly jumped out of his skin, throwing his book in the air and giving a high-pitched scream.
Puck gave him his dirtiest grin. Was it going to be that easy?
"Hold your screams, Hummel. For now, at least."
"Jesus, Puck!", said Kurt, landing a hand on his chest to try and calm his rapidly beating heart. "A little warning would be nice! And what are you doing here, anyway?"
He looked around the room before answering, trying not to show his surprise when he realized that Kurt had his own apartment inside his house. "Oh, not much. Just finished with the pool and thought I'd come here so we could, you know... Hang out."
As he said that, Puck started casually climbing on Kurt's bed. He laid beside Kurt, facing him, holding his head up with his hand.
Kurt just looked at him, more confused than ever.
"Uhm... Okay?" It was more of a question than a statement. He turned off his iPod and started getting up. "I'll just turn the TV on, and -- Puck, what are you doing?"
Puck was now fully on top of Kurt, straddling him. He kept both his hands on the sides of Kurt's head, keeping him in place.
"What I just said: hanging out."
"Is this your idea of hanging out?!", Kurt asked, blushing once more.
"Do you have a better one?"
To make sure Kurt wasn't going to say something stupid and spoil the moment, Puck started kissing his neck. Kurt's body responded almost instantaneously, his muscles relaxing and his back arching.
"I... Hmm..."
Puck smirked through his kisses. "Exactly. Now, why don't we get these clothes out of the way so we can--"
At the mention of clothes, Kurt's brain started working again. As if hit by an electrical shock, he jolted, sitting upright and consequently throwing Puck off of him.
"What's wrong, babe?"
Puck had been pushed to the floor, but he didn't look defeated in the slightest. He was already on his knees, ready to get back to where he was. Kurt noticed that, so he promptly got off the bed himself.
"What's wrong? You're Noah Puckerman! You used to throw me in dumpsters!"
Puck was on the bed again, but remained on all fours. He looked like a kitten, waiting for his owner to go and scratch behind his ear. Before noticing how pathetic that was, Kurt almost did.
"Yeah, but that's in the past now!", Puck said, his voice smooth. "It doesn't matter anymore, all that matters is you and me..."
Puck began crawling towards Kurt. His eyes were half-closed and his head was tilting... Kurt didn't think twice.
He punched him.
Falling back, Puck grabbed his nose, which was bleeding. Kurt tried to pretend that his hand didn't hurt like hell.
"Dude, what the fuck?", Puck cursed, looking at Kurt with a wounded expression.
"I ask you the same, Puckerman! What do you think you're doing, sneaking into people's bedrooms and trying to steal their first kisses?"
Puck was so outraged (and partially surprised that Kurt could actually punch someone without worrying about his manicure) he didn't even listen to the part about 'first kisses'. He got off the bed and cleaned his bloodied hand on his jeans.
"I thought this was what you wanted! Isn't it why you hired my pool-cleaning services?"
Realization hit Kurt so hard he took a step back.
"What? You thought I wanted to be one of your MILF's?!"
Puck frowned and tilted his head while answering: "Technically, you couldn't be a MILF, since you're not a mother, but--"
If Kurt hadn't punched him already, he would have now. Instead, he just glared at him.
"Shut up, your inarticulate bumble! I wanted you to clean my pool because I wanted. A clean. Pool!"
Puck never thought of that possibility. He didn't know what to say, so he just shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. Kurt, though, looked like he was expecting something more, so he said:
"Sorry, man. I just thought it was all, you know... Part of the package. But just so you know, I don't normally throw myself at my clients like that."
Kurt's confusion was back at full speed. He took a moment to understand what Puck had said. Before he realized it, Puck was already going up the stairs. He followed him towards the front door.
"What does that even mean?"
Turning around, Puck smiled a little. Kurt had to fight not to instinctively smile back.
"It means I like you, dumbass. Weren't you supposed to be the smart one?"
They reached the door, and Kurt talked before he could stop himself:
"Well, if you behave I might invite you to use my brand-new pool with me any day."
Puck smiled again before opening the door and walking out.
"I never behave, Kurt, don't you know that?"
*
Later that day, Burt Hummel came home to find Kurt lounging in a chair by the pool, looking fresh and renewed. He smiled at his son.
"So, I see you've taken my advice?"
Kurt smiled broadly at his father and took a sip of his ice tea. "Sure, dad! It was a great idea indeed. In fact, I've been thinking: my bed is creaking a bit, maybe I should call up that handy man again to take a look at it."
"Whatever you say, Kurt!"
Burt ruffled his son's hair before going to get his shorts to take a dip in the pool himself. Again, he had no idea what his son was getting into.