(no subject)

[bythethroatx]

TITLE: Objects of Affection

DATE: 06/18/05 - present

GENRE: drama

RATING: PG 13, borderline R

SUMMARY: It’s the little things that always matter. It’s the little things that help us remember. It’s the little things that she took with her whenever they parted. It’s the little things that fill the old hat box that sat in the dark corner of her closet. And now, years later, it’s the little things that tell the story of the love she held on to.

Author's Note: Influenced by real life events.



| Prologue / Introduction | | 1 | | 2 |

+ Chapter 3: Mud Puddles Can Suck It +

Veronica reached over the rail on the side of the bed and smoothed her baby’s hair away from her eyes before leaning over and kissing the child. She made sure the curtains were completely closed and that the nightlight was on before she tip toed to the closed door, glancing back once to make sure Abby was truly asleep. When she decided that the coast was clear, she snuck quietly out of the darkened bedroom and wandered into her kitchen. After grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, she turned and leaned back against the counter. The house was so quiet when nap time rolled around. In a way, it was relaxing. But then again, it was uncomfortable. She disliked being alone, having no one to talk to. At least with Abby, even though she didn’t understand half of what she was saying, she still had someone to talk to… or talk at, rather. She had someone to distract her. To occupy her time. But her daughter tired easily, just like her father… whenever he was home, anyway. Most mothers - and even wives - would love that about their family. But not Veronica. She hated being alone, for the most part. It depressed her for unknown reasons. Therefore, she needed distractions.

Sighing to herself, she walked herself to her bedroom where she turned on her radio. She put the volume down to nearly a whisper so that she could hear Abby when she woke up and turned to look at herself in the full length mirror. Her appearance had hardly changed since high school. Sure, she looked older and more mature, but she basically still had the same lean, toned body. She still stood at an even 5’5’’ and because it was summer time, she still carried a beautiful tan. If she had realized that she actually wasn’t that bad looking - and if she’d had more confidence in herself - in high school, life might’ve been a little different. Not that she wanted it to be different, it was just a thought…

She pulled her dirty blonde hair up into a sloppy bun and adjusted her paw printed pajama pants before she grabbed a pillow off the bed. She propped it up against the side of the bed to comfort her back and spread her legs out. Reaching forward, she grabbed the round, cardboard box’s lid. Inside it, she carefully placed the note and the movie ticket before setting it aside and pulling the box between her legs. There was so much in there… She hadn’t realized how much she’d actually saved. She could only imagine the moments they’d had where she hadn’t taken any physical sentiment from it. She had to admit, even though it had its faults, they’d been in such a beautiful relationship. Bobby had been one of a kind.

This thought went through her head once more when the sunlight coming through her open window flashed across a piece of plastic that was poking its way out of the hat box. She reached for it and immediately knew what it was when she saw the pale purple sticker on it.

“Cinnamon…” she read from the label. “Wow, you were really one of a kind, Bobby…” she said aloud as she tipped her head back onto the bed and shut her eyes.

“Oh oh… do you have your TV on?”

“No, but I can turn it on…” Veronica said, rolling over in her bed and feeling around on her dresser for the remote to her TV.

“Don’t worry about it, I just wanted you to see this one commercial for a movie I wanna see, but it’s over. It was just a quick one.”

“Which movie? Maybe I’ve already seen the commercial,” Veronica said, listening to him yawn and glancing at the clock. It was slightly past midnight. And for the fifth night in a row, she was on the phone with Bobby. Each night, he’d call after he was done playing whatever video game he was working on for the night and they’d talk until one of them got too tired and couldn’t help but begin to fall asleep. It was normally him. Because she didn’t want to get off the phone first, no matter how tired she might be. She didn’t want him to think she wanted to stop talking to him, because she didn’t. So she’d fight sleep for as long as it took and he’d eventually say he needed to go. Each night, they’d talk non stop, never running out of anything to talk about. Their conversations jumped from whatever they did that day to whatever so and so did or was wearing to some grand event that happened in their childhood. They were slowing learning more and more about each other and Veronica loved it. Though she wasn’t completely and totally open and trusting, she answered any questions he had truthfully and, she hoped, he was doing the same for her. The first time he’d called - the night they’d went to the movies - it’d been slightly awkward for all of the first five minutes. Then he managed to drop something on himself and that opened the doors to teasing and verbal flirting. And from then on, they’d been perfectly fine with communication.

“I forget the name, but Kate Beckinsale’s in it and oh my god is she hot,” he breathed, but immediately caught himself. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, unsure whether or not she’d mind.

She laughed. “It’s alright, I don’t care. She’s very pretty,” she agreed with him. In all honesty, she didn’t care. Kate Beckinsale was an actress. And a good one, at that. That kind of stuff didn’t bother her. And even if they were to officially get together one day, it still wouldn’t. She wasn’t like that. Plus, she thought certain actors/musicians were to die for, as well.

“You sure you don’t mind? Some girls freak when they hear that guys think other girls are incredibly fucking gorgeous, even if they are big time actresses that would never even consider touching small town guys that obsess over them.”

“I promise, I don’t care,” she assured him.

“I like that I can like, talk to you like any random friend - boy or girl - about this kind of stuff, but then, in the same breath, you still know that I’m like… still liking you, too. If that makes sense,” he rambled, yawning towards the end.

“I think I understand what you’re talking about,” she said and silence fell over them for a few seconds. She could hear the muffled sound of the TV on in the background of his bedroom and she could imagine him laying in the dark, in his bed, staring at it. He laughed at a joke that was made and she bit her lip, smiling to herself. She loved his laugh. And this kind of silence didn’t bother her one bit. He made her so happy and she’d only really known him but a few days. “I like when you manage to slip in that you have feelings for me,” she said, saying the words as they came to mind. “Sometimes like… I mean.. I know you don’t know this yet, but I doubt things so much. Like, I constantly need to be reassured, especially when it comes to feelings and things like that. I’ve been in relationships before where I thought things were going smoothly and that feelings were mutual and then one day, out of the blue, the person just didn’t want to be around me anymore, didn’t want to date me, found me annoying. Ever since those, I’ve been very… well. Insecure. Dealing with any kind of relationship. I just feel like I can never be too careful,” she finished, knowing he had listened to her the whole time. He was an excellent listener. She didn’t see that in most guys.

“I completely understand,” he said, causing her to smile. “I’ll keep that in mind, too. And if you ever need to ask, just in case something gets confusing, you go ahead and ask. I promise I won’t be offended or won’t hold it against you. Sometimes it’s just hard to read certain things in certain people. I always thought I was open with stuff like that but I’ve been told that sometimes I can become very complicated. So really, if you have to ask, you can seriously go ahead,” he told her, hoping that eventually, if what they had turned into something serious, he’d be obvious enough that she wouldn’t ever doubt him. Even though it was very early in whatever it was that they were doing, he could see himself being very happy with her in the future if he didn’t manage to somehow fuck it up. But he didn’t want to say anything just yet.

She sighed to herself as he finished speaking. She loved when they talked in depth about serious, personal topics. She loved how understanding he was. She could see herself becoming very attached if she didn’t play it safe. She still didn’t understand what his intentions were. She was simply waiting and seeing what would happen. She admitted that she was trying, but she wasn’t trying too hard or taking it completely out of hand. It seemed, to her, that she had his interest two fold. So maybe, just maybe, it would turn into what she had been hoping for ever since she looked into his eyes at the vending machines in the lunch room that one day.

“You know…” he said, breaking her from her thoughts. She tuned herself into his words. “This might sound silly but,” he hesitated. He wanted to say something. She could hear him try to continue his sentence twice. Breathing in, beginning to say something, and then stopping himself. He was having trouble wording something. He did that the first night they talked. When he told her that he really did enjoy himself that night and that he loved her shirt and that he had wanted to kiss her badly. He had trouble expressing himself through words when it came to those kinds of things. He was afraid that he was going to get shot down. She understood this and vowed to herself that if she knew he was having trouble, she wouldn’t make it any more difficult. Every time he stuttered on bringing his thoughts to his tongue, she was drawn in completely. “I uhm… well,” he forced a laugh and she could picture his hand playing with his hair and his cheeks growing a slight shade of pink. He cleared his throat. “The past few days, I’ve kind of… uhm… well… I kind of felt like I was committed to you,” he finally said and she ‘aww’-ed to herself, letting him go on, but already knowing what he was planning on saying. “I mean, I know it’s still too early but like, I find myself looking at other girls and like, thinking ‘nah’. Or like, someone will flirt with me and I won’t flirt back too much because I don’t want to like, have it get back to you or hurt you. I mean, I know we’re not together and we’re just starting some kind of friendship, but still… it’s just like, how I’ve been feeling. Ya know? I like.. don’t want to like…” his voice reduced to a whisper. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“No, no. It’s alright. Don’t apologize. I know how you feel,” she said, a smile on her face the whole time. She had him. She definitely had to have him. At first, it’d been unbelievable and she’d felt stupid even telling herself that he had feelings for her. But now, she knew it. He did. A sudden rush went through her and even though she would’ve normally been filled with energy at a time like this, she yawned, once again peering at the large, green numbers on her digital clock. It was nearing one. It was a Wednesday night. They had to be in school in seven hours. She wanted sleep. She knew she needed sleep. But she’d wait until he was ready. She wouldn’t break her streak.

“I just didn’t want to weird you out or anything. Like, scare you. Because I do realize it’s early and I mean, if it did bug you, I’m sorry and I can keep it to myself but I know you like to know that kind of stuff and -“

“It’s ok, babe. I promise I do like hearing these things. It makes me happy,” she said, the same smile still on her face as she closed her eyes and turned onto her side. She was ready to sleep. But this conversation was more than perfect.

There was a small pause on the other end before he spoke again. “You called me ‘baaabe’,” he said in the voice she was beginning to recognize was the voice he used when he wanted to be cute. She could hear the grin in his voice, the happiness in his tone. She loved when he got him to speak in that voice.

“I guess I did,” she laughed and yawned, having heard him do the same. “Tired,” she mumbled, snuggling into her pillow, her arm becoming numb from holding the small cell phone to her ear. She thanked god she got 8pm-5am free minutes. Otherwise, she’d be screwed financially. Sure, she had a job, but it didn’t pay that well.

“Me too,” he agreed, yawning again before making a noise that normally went along with tired stretching. “I think we should go to sleep. We’re both happy, which means we’ll both have good dreams.”

“Alright…” He was right. She was happy. It was perfect timing.

“Ok, well. I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early,” he told her and she nodded to herself.

“Bright and early,” she repeated, her exhaustion kicking in.

“G’night, Ronnie.”

“Night,” she replied, her voice nearing a whisper as she began to drift off.

“Night.” Her phone sounded the end of the call and she dropped it next to her on the other pillow.

She smiled again as she cuddled into her pillow. She loved that he always had to get the last goodbye in. Always. Content, she went to bed, hoping morning would come soon. She couldn’t wait to see him.

Veronica yawned as she struggled to open the plastic bottle in front of her. It was tighter than normal. Or maybe she was just that exhausted. Blinking a few times, she sighed and shoved it out to the side, hoping someone would notice and open it for her sooner or later. She propped her books up into a small pile, folded her arms, and placed her head on them. She closed her eyes and tried to drown out the chattering of the crowded lunch room. As soon as she thought she had mastered the art of blocking out the unthinkable, she jumped out of her skin when something was suddenly dropped onto the table. Irritated, she looked up to see Cullen, Melissa, and some boy she didn’t recognize.

“You look absolutely exhausted,” Melissa pointed out, sitting down at her normal seat around the same time Cullen and the other boy sat. “Aren’t you sleeping?”

“Yeah, I’m just not getting a lot of it. I’ve been going to bed real late,” she told them, wanting to give details, but only if they asked. She didn’t want to brag, she didn’t want to get over excited. If they asked her questions, she’d happily answer them. That was how she was going to work things.

“Too much sex?” Cullen teased, winking at her and receiving an eye roll from both his girlfriend and Veronica. “You know I’m kidding, Ronnie. How’s it going, anyway?” he asked, getting his wallet out of his pocket and leafing through it for money.

Veronica caught sight of the picture of him and Melissa in his picture flap and smiled before answering. “It’s going pretty well. We talk every night. Really late. I’ve learned a lot about him.”

“Does it look good?” Melissa asked, greeting Julia with a wave as she sat down at the table and threw Veronica’s bag of chips at her.

“Does what look good?” Julia asked, popping a tater tot into her mouth and looking around. “Ooh, unopened drink,” she acknowledged, reaching across Veronica and grabbing the bottle. “Whose?” she asked, opening it with absolutely no trouble and taking a gulp.

“Mine. I couldn’t open it,” Veronica told her, taking it from her and taking a sip, herself, before nodding at Melissa as she watched Cullen and the other kid get up and head towards the lunch lines. “It looks very good, actually. He told me last night,” she paused, leaning in closer to Melissa and lowering her voice as Julia continued to eat, having already heard every detail, “that he feels committed to me already,” she finished, grinning when Melissa’s eyes brightened and she clapped, excited for her.

“That’s so great! You guys will definitely hook up!” the bubbly, freckled red head replied, happiness coursing through her. There was not one single person at their school who had a problem with Melissa. Everyone who knew her, loved her. There wasn’t a mean bone in her body. And she was the complete opposite of fake. Her emotions always showed through.

“I don’t just want a hookup, though. I want like, the actual thing. I want what you and Cullen have, I guess,” Veronica admitted, not looking at her when she spoke, but actually reaching across and taking Julia’s chicken patty.

“Bitch,” Julia scowled as she watched her take a bite and put it back. “Buy your own god damn food,” she teased, putting her arms around her plate in an attempt to protect it. “I got you your chips, now shoo,” she said, eating another tater tot and opening a ketchup packet.

“I don’t wanna eat too much today,” Veronica told her, opening her chips and watching Cullen direct the mystery boy to the vending machines. “Who the hell is that?” she asked, curiosity getting the best of her. She was willing to ignore him until he sat down. And then she just didn’t want to be rude.

“Andrew,” Melissa told her. “He’s new. He’s a cutie. Very nice. And oddly enough, he’s not too shy. Cullen’s like, in love with him. I think he’ll be thrown into rotation soon,” she explained, making a face at her boyfriend, who was peering over his shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of her while the new, blonde, definitely cute, somewhat cut, boy tried to shove a dollar in the machine in front of him. “And.. not eating today? There a game?”

“Yeah,” Julia replied for her. “Home, too. But if it keeps raining, there won’t be anything. You know… the season’s almost over and you’ve yet to make it to one of our games. Last year, you were at every one of them with signs,” she told Melissa, who hung her head in mock shame.

“I’m sorry…”

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Veronica added, glancing out the glass doors at the end of the cafeteria. The rain had reduced to a slight drizzle by now, but the skies were still dark. It had downpoured that morning, but throughout the day, it had completely stopped and then on and off-ed for a while. The fields were going to be soaked. Mud was going to be everywhere. But their coach would keep the game on if it didn’t get any worse. She knew her players loved getting dirty. It gave them an excuse to play nasty.

“I don’t know… I’m just… it’s different this year. I’ve got…” Melissa drifted off as Cullen and Andrew came back to the table, Cullen with two helpings of food. He set one down in front of her before digging into his own. The boy could eat. He always had been able to. “Ya know?” Melissa asked, and it was obvious she didn’t want to finish her sentence. She didn’t want to make him feel bad.

“Heh, boyfriends. Who needs them?” Julia joked. She loved guys, but Julia had never been one to actually get into a relationship with one. She liked a few, but they weren’t her top priority. Come to think about it, Julia had no top priority. She never took anything too serious. She never dressed to impress. She was simple. Jeans, nice hoodie, the end. Veronica admired that about her. She was one of those girls who didn’t need affection from a boy to be happy. Though, Veronica knew, deep down inside, she truly wished for someone to come along. And if she kept being as wonderful as she already was, someone was going to notice her eventually. She just had to give it time. Which, she did.

“Not mee!” Melissa said, in response to Julia’s joke. She poked Cullen, who shrugged her touch off and pretended to be hurt as Andrew laughed. “Aw, baby. I’m kiddddingggg,” she cooed, giggling and wrapping her arms around one of his. They were so cute.

“Doin’ anything tonight?” Julia asked, turning to Veronica, who was staring into her bottle, in her own little world. She looked so tired, maybe she shouldn’t bother with plans. But even so, if she really wanted to, she could sleep at her house or whatever. That’s what they did.

“Uh…” Veronica replied, still staring. “Game, home, sleep,” she replied, blinking herself out of her trance. “Did you have something in mind?” she asked, hoping she didn’t. All she really wanted to do after the game was shower and go to bed. And of course, be woken up by her phone around midnight.

“Nah, forget it. Next time,” she assured her. “Oh wow, ya know… this is our second to last game,” she pointed out, clicking her tongue. “We gotta kick ass tonight. Like, seriously. We gotta tear them apart. Last time was scary. They got so fucking close. We need to play dirty as fuck tonight,” Julia told her, pumping herself up.

But Veronica wasn’t paying attention. Melissa had nodded behind her in the middle of Julia’s speech and Veronica had looked over her shoulder to see Bobby throw his trash away, shove his hands in his pockets, and start to walk slowly in her direction. Smiling, she turned in her seat as he took a seat at the empty table directly behind theirs.

“Hi,” he greeted her, adjusting his positioning so that her legs could slide comfortably between his own.

“Hey,” she smiled. “Since when do you come to this side of the lunch room?” she asked, curious, but loving that he came over. Her cheeks were growing warm, but not because of his presence. More because of the fact that she knew the four other people at the table were staring at her. They made her more nervous than he did.

“Siinnnceee,” he stopped to think as he placed a hand on the side of her thigh, sending a jolt of energy through her body. “Since I wanted to ask you what you’re doing tonight in hopes that you’d want to do something with me?” he suggested, looking into her eyes, hoping for a positive answer. He wanted to spend more time with her; she was great.

“Uhm… welllll,” she said, pretending to think like he had done a minute earlier. “I have a game today if the rain lets up,” she told him. “It’s our last home game,” she added, hoping it was a good enough excuse. The truth should always be a good enough excuse, if not the best excuse.

“Oh,” he said, slight disappointment in his voice. “Well, maybe tomorrow?”

“All Hallows Eve?” she asked, attempting a spooky voice and oddly enough, not feeling too embarrassed or stupid as she did so.

“Oh yeah, forgot about that. Halloween’s Saturday!” he said, grinning as if he were a young child looking forward to pounds of unnecessary candy again. “There’s a party Saturday night. Wanna go?” he asked her.

Her first reaction was to say yes and that she’d love to, but she immediately knew she couldn’t. “I have work Saturday night,” she told him, watching his face fall and feeling a small tug at her heart. “But tomorrow I can definitely do, I think. I have dress fittings after school, but other than that, I should be good,” she told him and he perked up a little bit.

“So tomorrow night?” he asked as the people around them began to stand up, readying themselves to go to the last period of the day.

“Tomorrow night,” she nodded, smiling when he did and watching him weave through people in an attempt to go back to his own table. She grinned as she turned back to Julia and Melissa. “This is great,” she giggled as they grabbed their books and left the lunch room.

Bobby bit his lip as he shut the door to his car and began the walk across the wet pavement of the parking lot outside of the local fields the school’s soccer teams used to play on. He shoved his hands in the front pocket of his pullover and hid his chin in the hoodie when a gust of cold air blew through him. For being the end of October, it was awfully cold. But that was how the weather was in the north east. It was 100° in the summer and -100° the rest of the time. But hey, you got used to it eventually.

He glanced at the field briefly as he entered through the gate and headed towards the stands. He saw three familiar faces, which was good, because he hated sitting around by himself. He wouldn’t exactly walk up and sit with them, he decided. He’d sit near them. Because he didn’t actually know them. Well, Cullen he knew because they played football together and had for years. But his girlfriend he only recognized because she was his girlfriend and the other boy he only knew from second period, where he’d been introduced to the class and had taken the seat in front of him. Also, if he remembered correctly, he sat at Veronica’s lunch table.

As he approached the bleachers, he noticed how wet they were. “Fucking rain,” he muttered to himself as he paused near them and looked them up and down. He didn’t want to sit down and have his ass be soaked. And there didn’t appear to be any dry ones. But that made sense. Because the sun hadn’t been out all day. Sighing, he turned and looked around. He could lean against the fence. That was better than nothing…

“Bobby, dude. Up here,” he heard Cullen say and he turned back to the stands. Cullen was pointing to the row in front of him as he dropped a blanket that had been on his lap onto the wet seat. Nodding to himself, impressed that he’d even said anything to him - they rarely talked - he climbed the three rows and took at seat on the blanket.

“Thanks,” he told him, shaking his hand, nodding at Andrew, and giving Melissa a small smile.

“Does she know you’re here?” Melissa immediately asked, unable to help herself. She loved meddling in people’s love lives. Absolutely loved it. When things were going good, it made her so happy. And when they weren’t, she always tried to help. And at the same time, she fell more in love with Cullen, because things were wonderful with him and when those sad times rolled around, she knew she should be extremely grateful that she was in a relationship that was solid gold.

Bobby shook his head. She didn’t. He hadn’t mentioned it to her, hadn’t hinted to her. Nothing. Because he hadn’t even known he’d be in attendance until he found himself sitting at home, thinking about her. He’d never seen her play. And he wanted to. Therefore, he got in his car, made a call to one of his buddies to find out where they played, and next thing he knew, he was parking in the lot and walking across the wet gravel and grass.

“Well she will soon,” Melissa said quietly and Bobby turned to her, his eyes wide, as Cullen shook his head. He wasn’t even going to try to stop her. It wasn’t worth it. He’d lose. And he was perfectly fine with that. “Yeeeahhh Ronnniieeee!” Melissa screamed as her friend jogged past with a group of girls.

Veronica laughed, her ponytail swinging back and forth with her strides, as she rounded the final bend of their second lap. Everyone around her huffed and puffed, but she was perfectly fine. She liked to run. And when everyone else couldn’t cut it, it only made her want to run harder and farther. It built the confidence she needed to get in the goal and make the plays she needed to make. Her team needed her; she couldn’t be a pussy on the field.

As they started the last stretch, she heard her name being called out and turned towards the stands. She grinned and waved at her friend, impressed that she’d actually come to the game. What Julia had said must’ve made her feel bad. Aw, a pity audience, she thought. But hey, pity audience was better than no audience at all. When it rained, they barely got anyone, even the parents. So it was cool. It looked as if Melissa had brought Cullen and the new kid with her. And there was someone sitting in front of them in a gray hoodie, but he had his head down.

“Your… lover’s here,” Julia said as she forced herself to run into the center with the rest of the team to start their stretches.

“Hm?” Veronica asked, bending down and touching her toes, flinching when the Coach came up in front of her and dropped the goalie gloves and shirt at her feet. She loved being in the goal when the weather got cold. She got to wear an extra layer and it kept her warm when the team was busy kicking ass and she just had to stand there and look prepared.

“Bobby,” Julia said and laughed when Veronica’s head snapped up. “He’s here,” she told her, pulling her leg up and stretching her hamstring.

“Seriously?” Veronica asked, trying not to make an obvious look over her shoulder at the stands. She squinted, trying to find him. Her heart stopped when she realized that he was the person in the grey hoodie sitting with her friends. Was he trying to hide? Why would he do that? Maybe he was cold. He looked cold. What was he doing there…?

“That’s cute. He’s already showing his support,” Julia teased, hitting her friend and pulling an arm up over her head and stretching that muscle. She was top of the defense, but still, she had to stretch her arms. Especially today. She was going to need them if she wanted to have a little fun on the field. “Next thing you know, he’ll whip out a sign that says ‘Number 28 on the field, but Number 1 in my heart!’” she laughed, moving away from Veronica as she made a movement her way. “I’m kidddding,” she laughed, rolling her neck back and forth before announcing that she was ready and willing.

Veronica tried to shake her butterflies out of her system as she took her spot in the goal for warm up shots. She couldn’t think about him being there. She couldn’t think about the fact that this was special, that he’d actually showed up. She had to focus on the ball and stopping it.

He wasn’t there. He wasn’t there. His eyes weren’t following her every movement. He wasn’t there. He wasn’t there.

“Ya know… she’s pretty good,” Cullen pointed out at the start of the second half as he slipped an arm around Melissa. “You’d never see this one out there. She’d get beat to a bloody pulp,” he laughed, kissing her temple and accepting the smack in the stomach he received.

“I’m a swimmer. I’d rather smack against the water than another human being,” she explained to no one in particular. She and Cullen had decided that they were pretty much alone at the sporting event even though there were two other guys with them. They weren’t paying attention to them. Their eyes were on the field. And oddly enough, on the same person, it seemed.

“I’m gonna make a run to the stand,” Bobby announced, speaking for the first time since the game had started. He was mesmerized. Every movement she made, he watched, a sense of some type of pride flying through his body. When the other team brought the ball towards her, his stomach clenched and he felt his breath draw in as if he were scared for her. And he was. But immediately he was blowing that breath out and was clapping for the save she made. She was good. And he loved it. “Anyone want anything?” he asked as he stood. When he got all negative replies, he hopped down and headed towards the small building he had passed earlier. The game was almost over. Maybe he’d just hang out down there for a little bit. He felt slightly uncomfortable with the others, anyway. Plus, he could watch the game intently without the gab of Melissa and Cullen behind him. And the weirdness Andrew brought to the bunch. He was too quiet. Sure, he’d appeared nice and everything, but there was something about him that made Bobby uneasy. He wasn’t too sure he liked him. But he wasn’t one to judge without knowing him.

At the stand, he stood and peered into the dimly lit area as the mothers who were working it paid close attention to the plays their daughters were making on the field. It didn’t bother him, though, because he hated when people watched him make decisions like these. He always felt pressured to pick something quickly and get out before they said anything to him. He thought he’d gotten lucky this time.

But he didn’t.

“Hey, you know my Ronnie,” a familiar woman said as she walked over to him, wiping her hands on a paper towel. “Are you the one who took her to the movies the other night?” she asked him.

He nodded. This was not who he wanted to run into. He was never comfortable with the families of the girls he dated. Maybe because he saw how his own father and mother acted when his older sister had started dating. They had something to say about every one of her boyfriends and they were constantly worried about her drug intake and sexual activity. He didn’t want her mother thinking he was going to use her, abuse her, and drop her off at home. He had to prove that he could be trusted and that he really did like her daughter.

“Do you uh… know what kind of candy she likes?” he asked her, looking around at the selections. For a dinky little soccer stand, they had a rather large variety.

“She likes lollipops. She always has. As a child, she practically inhaled those little ones. Oh, what are they called? Dum Dums?” she said, grabbing the box of lollipops and positioning it in front of him. “I couldn’t tell you what flavor, though,” she added, watching him as he fished through the box, picking up every other one and reading their purple labels.

Quickly, he found the one he was looking for and bought that and a water for himself. He said goodbye to her mother and shot from the stand, hoping he’d made a good impression and praying he wouldn’t have to go back for anything. She was a perfectly nice lady. But parents made him feel dirty and guilty. He admitted he wasn’t proud of what he’d done in the past. And fearing that the mother or father of the girl he was interested in would find out about that past made the guilt even worse. He truly couldn’t even think of being that way with another girl, especially Veronica.

He settled himself against the fence that surrounded the field and watched, hoping the game would end soon. He wanted to see what she thought of him showing up. He wanted to tell her how good she was. He wanted to see her smile.

Veronica relaxed as the ball got pushed to the opposite side of the field. They were tied 0-0 and the team they were playing was equally, if not more, dirty on the field than her own team. Her team loved the mud because it allowed them to slip, slide, and take out ‘accidentally’. But sometimes, like at this moment, no matter how much you tried to play your roughness off, you couldn’t fool the ref. A yellow card was thrown up and Julia huffed off the field, throwing a glance at Veronica that simply said ‘I destroyed that bitch and it felt pretty damn good’. Julia got into their games so much. Her mouth never shut, her trash talk never ended, and her intimidation sky rocketed with every bead of sweat that dripped down her face.

Veronica found herself peering over to the stands as a throw in was taking place. Melissa, Cullen, and Andrew were still there. But Bobby had disappeared. Had he left? Had it gotten boring? Or maybe too cold? It was very cold. Though she was sweaty, her legs were numb and her fingers, even inside the padded gloves, were probably some shade of purple. She sighed, watching the cloud her breath made float in front of her. Where’d he go? Was she sucking so badly that he couldn’t stand to watch her any longer? The game had gone pretty well, that couldn’t be it.

She didn’t have time to think any longer on the subject. The ball was being pushed down to her at top speed and the girl in control was obviously not taking any more shit. She dodged two slide tackles and dribbled expertly around the left defender. Veronica bent over, her hands out, her legs positioned, readying herself to dive whatever way she had to. That ball was not going in.

The player’s leg swung back and hit the ball within the next second. The green and white sphere came flying through the air and Veronica knew what she had to do. She moved her body, attempting to get it into the air and dive to her right, but found herself in a second of panic as her feet didn’t leave the ground at the time she needed them to. She made the dive, but she was too late. The ball slipped right past her, a centimeter further than her reach, and hit the wet net, causing a spray of water and a swishing sound as Veronica landed in the mud beneath her.

She stayed where she landed for a second as her team grunted and bitched as they formed around her. “I couldn’t… I didn’t… I was stuck,” she mumbled, letting them sit her up and feeling hot tears starting to form behind her eyes when she saw their disappointed faces. “My cleats were stuck in the mud, I couldn’t leave the ground when I wanted to,” she tried to explain as most of them walked away, heads hung, filled with anger.

“You tried, it’s ok. Nature wasn’t on your side,” a blonde said, her voice sad as she helped Veronica up before jogging back to her spot for another kick off.

“I fucking had that,” Veronica said to herself, trying to keep her tears in. She was frustrated. She was angry. She was disappointed. She was devastated. “I had that!” she said, this time louder, as she kicked the mud and watched a clump go flying. “Fucking mud, I could’ve had that,” she mumbled to herself, blinking, causing her angry, hot tears to roll down her hot, pink cheeks, as she paced the goal, hitting the post when she got to it. “I had that,” she said softly, her voice and heart breaking.

The crowd around him erupted into “Nooo”s and “Argh”s as the ball flew past Veronica, who was in mid air, and hit the net behind her with a loud SWOOSH. The parents and students across the field on the far bleachers exploded into cheers and the girls on the field celebrated while the half that had just been scored on formed a small circle around Veronica.

He watched, his heart heavy, as someone helped her to her knees and her head automatically hung. She was far away, but he could see the exasperation in her face. He watched a blonde help her to her feet and couldn’t tear his eyes away as she simply left the mud on her and kicked the ground next to her. He didn’t know what had happened exactly, but it was obvious that she had. And she wasn’t happy about it, at all, he decided, when she hit the pole. She was angry, and, as he caught her wipe at her cheeks with the back of a glove, she was crying. She’d told him that she hated crying, but that she was extremely sensitive and there were hundreds of things that did, in fact, make her cry. He never wanted to see her cry. But he knew that it would eventually happen. Eventually had come quickly, he decided. But maybe he’d get lucky and she’d be ok by the time the game ended.

Within the next two minutes, the final whistle was being blown and the teams were pulling themselves off the field, half with a bounce in their step, half with feet dragging. Both sides were exhausted. They played an amazing game. He hoped she knew that. But by the look on her face as she came through the gate and dropped her bag to the ground, the thought of playing well was probably the last thing she was thinking. Hands in his pocket, one wrapped around the lollipop he’d bought for her, he took a deep breath and stepped towards her. If she was anything like he was when they lost football games and he’d messed up, this was going to be difficult.

Veronica rubbed her dirty hands over her hot face as her teammates walked past her, not speaking a word. She didn’t blame them. She was disappointed in herself, too. Very disappointed. Almost to the point of sickeningly disgusted.

“Ugh,” she moaned, covering her face with her hands and wanting to cry some more. “Fucking mud,” she mumbled into her hands, wishing her mother would just close the stand and take her home already. She didn’t drive to her games because she was so sore afterwards that she found it difficult to drive home. As she took her hands away, Julia walked past, patted her shoulder, and gave her a sad smile. “It was the mud…” she tried to explain.

“I believe you,” Julia told her, looking at the ground.

“Liar,” Veronica whispered, her lower lip trembling.

“It’s just a game,” Julia sighed, shrugging and walking away. She only lived around the corner. But the walk home was going to seem as if it were miles away.

“God,” Veronica grumbled, leaning back against the fence and staring down at the ground. She’d gotten stuck in the mud. She couldn’t help that. Or maybe, just maybe, if she’d been moving around a little more instead of wondering where Bobby had gone, she wouldn’t have been stuck and she would’ve made the save, punted it down the field, and watched it land at a forward’s feet and then watch it sail into the opposite net instead of her own. It was her fault. Any way she looked at it, it was her fault. Which only made her feel a hundred times worse.

“I know you don’t think so right now, but you played an amazing game,” a voice said and a pair of tennis shoes appeared next to her socks and sandals. “Really, you did,” the gentle voice assured her before she found herself being accepted into strong, outstretched arms. The arms held her tight and a hand rubbed her back as she buried her dirty face in the gray hoodie and tried to hold in her tears. He smelled so good. But he wasn’t hers.

Hello tears.

“Shh, don’t cry,” he said quietly, squeezing her tighter as she wrapped her tired arms around him and wished more than a million and one wishes. “Seriously,” he told her, pulling away from her and taking her worn out, warm face in his hands and looking directly into her eyes. “You did really well. I was impressed, really. And oddly enough, very proud,” he told her, watching her smile sadly and blink out two more tears. They streamed down her dirty face and he couldn’t help but wipe them away. Again, he was overcome with the urge to kiss her. But he couldn’t bring himself to. She was sad, she was vulnerable, she was angry, and her mother was only a few feet away. No, their first kiss wouldn’t happen like this.

“I feel like complete shit,” she told him, every syllable she spoke dripping defeat. “I just want to go home, shower, and die,” she told him, feeling his arms embrace her again. She took a deep, shaky breath, trying to force his scent into her blood in a desperate attempt to perk her up. She didn’t want him to see her like this. She was a mess. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

“Why shower?” he asked, making it seem like the worst part of her plans. “You’re adorable when you’re covered in mud, sweat, blood, and tears,” he told her, unsure of whether she knew how true that sentence was. Obviously, she thought he was joking by the look she gave him when she tipped her head back. “What?” he laughed and she shook her head, breaking away from his hold.

“You’re so weird,” she told him, wiping at her face and grabbing her bag, waving goodbye to Melissa, Cullen, and Andrew, who most likely hadn’t come up and said anything because they didn’t know what to say. “I can’t believe I got stuck,” she said, shaking her head and watching her mother try to find the key that locked the stand’s door from the outside. “I got stuck in the fucking mud,” she told him, looking up at him and hoping he’d have some words of encouragement or some good advice.

What he said next was even better than both, combined.

“How ‘bout you go home, eat, shower, whatever. And then you give me a call. And I’ll come and pick you up. And we can try to improve your mood,” he suggested, hoping she’d accept. He didn’t want her to go home and wallow in her own self pity. He didn’t want any more tears to fall from her beautiful green eyes. He wanted to prove to her that she did well. And he wanted to give her the lollipop.

“Eh…” she said, curling up her top lip and pretending to not show a lot of interest in his attempt. But, in all honesty, her heart started to beat again the minute he said ‘I’ll come and pick you up’. She wanted to spend time with him. She really did. But she was so tired. And so mad at herself.

“I’ll give you a lollipop if you let me cheer you up,” he bribed her, poking the end of the lollipop out of his hoodie pocket and holding it out long enough for her to take sight of it and realize that he wasn’t just being playful. “Please?” he asked, aware that her mother was approaching them.

“I guess…” she said, fighting a smile and waving her mother on, telling her she’d catch up in a minute. Her mother nodded, waved to Bobby, and headed towards the parking lot.

“Good,” Bobby smiled, slipping an arm around her shoulders and directing her towards the parking lot. “I promise, nothing too strenuous. I’ll figure something out that’s not too boring, but will get you out of this mood,” he assured her.

“I’d like to see you try,” she challenged him as she left his side and opened the back door of her mother’s running car to throw her bag in. She knew he wouldn’t have to try hard. Just knowing that in a little while she’d be with him again was already improving her mood. If she didn’t think about soccer, she’d be ok for the rest of the night.

“All clean?” he asked as she climbed into the car and shut the door. She nodded in response. “I’m glad to see you dressed for the occasion,” he teased, actually loving the comfortable look she had going - comfy pants, huge hoodie, and socks and sandals. Her wet hair was pulled up on top of her head and her face was still slightly flushed. She looked beautiful, he decided, as he flew through a yellow light.

“Shut up, I still don’t feel that great,” she told him, propping her elbow up on the door and staring out the window.

“I was kidding,” he reassured her, reaching over and poking her leg. “You look comfortable.”

“I am comfortable,” she said, glancing over at him, hoping he knew that sentence had more than one meaning. When he grinned at her, she knew he understood. A minute or so passed as a commercial or two played on the radio before she realized she had no idea where they were. “Where are we going?” she asked, watching the unfamiliar houses grow bigger and nicer.

“My house ok?” he asked, suddenly unsure whether or not she was ready to hang out with it being just the two of them and in private. He didn’t want anything, she knew that. But sometimes girls just were uncomfortable with the idea, it seemed.

“Sure,” she shrugged, hiding a smile. No one else. Just them. Too bad her spirit wasn’t a little higher. Hopefully she could get it to lift by the time they got settled.

A few minutes later, she found herself outside of a somewhat large, white house. As she climbed out of the car, she lost herself in the beauty of it. It wasn’t large and fancy like the others she’d seen at the end of the street. It was simple. Dark blue shudders, dark blue front door, and a wrap-around porch. Every light on the first floor was on and the porch lights - two lanterns on either side of the door - were lit, seemingly welcoming anyone who walked up the path in from the cold, dark night.

“You stole my dream house,” she pouted, following him up the stairs.

He laughed. “That’s not my fault. Blame my mom. This house is way too… I duno, cute?... for me,” he told her, opening the unlocked door and showing her inside. It smelled of brown sugar, she decided, after inhaling deeply. “Don’t mind the smell,” he told her, obviously not sharing her thoughts on how good the house actually smelled. “Mother dearest enjoys burning candles,” he said, leading her through what looked like a living room and into a dining room. “A little too much,” he added, pointing three out that were burning on top of the fireplace in the adjacent room.

“I like it,” she told him and he shrugged. She made a face at him and he laughed. “Anyone home?” she asked him, looking around for some form of life. A cat slept on top of a couch in the room with the fireplace. She didn’t necessarily like cats, but she could tolerate them if she had to.

“Uhm… we’ll find out,” he said, walking ahead of her and flipping the kitchen light on.

“That you, bud?” a male voice called out from a stairway in the corner of the kitchen.

“Yeah, it’s me, dad,” he yelled down the stairs. “Do you want to meet anyone?” he asked her, hoping she’d say no. He didn’t feel like putting her through that awkward step just yet. He didn’t want his parents making her uncomfortable or assuming anything. He knew what he felt when he met her mother. Granted, his mother was probably a little cooler than hers. Maybe she could meet the mommy… but not the daddy. Not yet.

“Nah, it’s ok,” she said, not really caring for the parental units just quite yet. Maybe if they ever got together… maybe. But even then, parents made her uncomfortable. And he seemed to know this.

“Ok,” he said, unsure of where his mother even was. She was probably downstairs with his father. Their basement was finished off, just like Veronica’s. Only, their basement was - yet another - family room. Big TV, pool table, huge, comfy couches. The works. He loved that room. But since it was occupied, he’d have to go to his second favorite room in the house. “My room alright? Or we can stay down here. Whatever you’re more comfortable with,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound overly polite or anything along those lines.

“Perfectly fine,” she told him and followed him up a second set of stairs.

His room, she decided, was the biggest bedroom she’d ever been in. Maybe because everything was against the walls and there was a rather large open space in the middle of the room. Maybe because there wasn’t a clutter of pictures or posters on the walls that made the room darker and more enclosed. The house didn’t look all that huge on the outside, but if every room looked like this one… damn. There was so much furniture. Or at least, it seemed that way. What her room had, his room lacked. She had a computer, desk, and a chair that took up a whole section of her room. In replace of that, he had a couch that looked rather comfortable and was placed in front of a good sized TV. Bed, dressers, stereo all were included.

“Make yourself at home,” he told her, watching her gawk at the room. “Don’t be afraid, everything’s clean,” he grinned, remembering how frantically he’d put everything away when he’d gotten home from her game. He had seriously rushed into his house, ran up the steps two at a time, and thrown everything into its proper position - or hid them in the closed closet - before deciding that he definitely wanted to have her over. He had no real plans for the evening. He just didn’t want her to mope around her own house all night. And he loved her company, whether she was in a good or bad mood.

She settled down on the end of the couch and he grabbed the remote. “Movie or TV?” he asked, sitting down on the floor with his back against the couch, keeping a comfortable distance between them.

“TV movie?” she suggested and he nodded.

The next hour or so passed by while they settled on a Lifetime movie. A very poor Lifetime movie, at that. They watched, they laughed, they poked jokes and made fun of the awful actors and actresses. They discussed how every movie was the same and tried to understand why they pulled in such a wide audience. And then they fell silent as the movie drew them in. They could no longer make fun of it. They watched with wide eyes as the mother exploded with anger and her teenage daughter screamed, cried, and ran out of the house.

“Well hello plot twist,” he said, eyebrows raised, as a commercial came on.

“Pfft, I saw that coming,” she said, waving a hand at the TV as if she were better than it.

“Yeah?” he asked, his eyes smiling as he turned and crossed his arms on the couch. He rested his chin on them as she nodded.

“Definitely. A million miles away,” she said, scrunching his nose at him.

He laughed. “You lie!” he accused.

“Me?!” she shrieked, pretending to be hurt as she put her hand to her heart. “How could you ever ever EVER even think I would lie?” she asked, mock shock in her tone.

“You’re the biggest liar I’ve ever met!” he exclaimed, watching her eyes soften. “Kidding,” he added, quickly, hoping she hadn’t actually taken offense to his joke. “I promise, I’m kidding,” he said, sitting up straight.

“I know,” she said, reaching out and patting his head. “I just don’t like getting called a liar. Even in a joke. I hate lying, I’m never any good at it. And I feel incredibly guilty when I do it. And it hurts so much when someone else lies to me, ya know? It’s just not a good feeling… at all,” she told him, looking down at her hands and picking at the chipping light pink nail polish. Opening up in person was slightly more difficult than over the phone. But she liked that she had the courage to do so.

“I wouldn’t lie to you…” he told her, his voice soft, as he stared at her face. She closed her eyes for a second before she lifted her head and looked him in the eye. “I’m a good liar,” he assured her. “I can bullshit my way through anything I needed to. But I promise I won’t do that to you,” he said, his eyes searching hers. He knew it was a little early in the game to be making promises, but he already knew that if he could help it, he wouldn’t lie to her. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want her to feel any hurt. He couldn’t see her cry again. The first time had been hard enough, but knowing he caused it would absolutely drive a knife through his heart. She gave him a small smile and he took that to mean to just drop the subject. So, in response to her silent plea, he stood and tossed her the remote. “Want a drink?” he asked, pulling his hoodie over his head and throwing it on the bed, a thin, white stick catching his eye. He had to figure out a way to give it to her.

When he returned, two cans of soda in his hands, he found her snuggled up with a pillow at the same end of the couch, her eyes on the TV, the commercials obviously over. Licking his lips, he flicked the lights off and took a seat next to her. He set the unopened cans down on the carpet and leaned back, relaxed, but alert.

After a few minutes, she turned her head to him, feeling the need to say something even though the conversation was over. She had something to add. “I wouldn’t lie to you, either…” she said quietly and watched him look at her, half a smile spreading across his face.

“I know you wouldn’t,” he told her, stretching an arm out and offering to hold her. Without hesitation, she moved over a few inches to her right and fit comfortably into his side. She put her head on his shoulder and they lost themselves in the rest of the movie, stopping every once in a while to take a sip of their drinks, adjust their positions, or look at each other’s faces.

When the movie had ended, she handed him the remote and he began the action that men performed so well - he channel surfed. Expertly, at that. The scenes from all the shows, movies, and commercials on at that very minute flipped past them quickly. He knew what was good and what wasn’t. When something caught his eye, he stopped for an extra few seconds, figured out what it was, and then continued when it wasn’t anything interesting. She didn’t care what he chose as long as he didn’t let go of her or stop running the tips of his fingers up and down her covered arm.

As he flipped through the sports channels, she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping he’d make it fast and land on the FOODnetwork or something like that. But when she heard the cheers of spectators and an announcer’s voice, she knew he hadn’t. Slowly, she opened her eyes, but shut them once again when she caught sight of the profession soccer field and players. She groaned and buried her face in his chest.

“Turn it offff,” she whined, covering her face with her hands.

“Why?” he asked. “You love it, you could watch it for hours. That’s what you told me the other night…” he said, having to shut his mouth before he added, ‘Unless you lied to me’.

“If I watch it, I’m going to feel even worse and I really don’t want to ruin the rest of tonight,” she told him, her eyes still covered. It was the truth. She was having such a good time with him. She’d managed to forget she’d even played today. She’d manage to forget absolutely everything outside of that room. Why was he doing this to her?

“Why?” he asked again, decreasing the volume on the TV.

“Because I suck,” she said, her voice quiet. She knew it wasn’t true, but at that moment, it was hard to convince herself she was anything but a horrible player.

“It was bad luck. You’ll be ok next time,” he assured her, rubbing her arm, feeling her shake her head against him.

“I only have one more game left,” she said, sadly. If she messed up that one, she feared she’d lose her automatic starting position for her senior season. She couldn’t lose it. That spot meant so much to her. “What if it rains next week, too? What if it’s muddy again and my cleat gets stuck again?”

“It won’t rain next week. The weather’s beautiful for next week,” he told her, flipping to the weather channel just as the Locals on the 8s came on. “See?” he asked her, pointing the TV and making her look. “It’ll be cold… it’ll definitely be cold. But no rain. You’ll be ok,” he comforted, holding her tighter and reaching into his pocket. “And if it does rain, I’ll drop kick Mother Nature for you,” he said, smiling when he got a laugh. “I’ll kick her so hard, Grandfather Time will feel it.”

“You’re so stupid,” she laughed, pulling away from him and wiping at her eyes, unsure of whether or not she’d actually let any tears fall. She hadn’t wanted to cry. She’d tried to stop herself. And, as she felt her dry cheeks, she assumed she’d done a good job.

“Stupid bought you a lollipop at the game today,” he told her, watching her smile and deciding now was as good of a time as any to give it to her. “Do you want it?” he asked, holding it up and watching her look at it. She nodded. “Will you admit that you had fun tonight and that I passed your challenge?” he asked. She nodded again and he handed it to her.

“What flavor?” she asked, enthusiastically ripping the wrapper off without bothering to read it.

“Cinnamon,” he told her. “You got a cinnamon and sugar pretzel the other night. So I figured I’d grab you that flavor because that’s the only thing I know you like so far,” he said, smiling when she grinned at him and stuck the candy in her mouth.

“I love cinnamon,” she attempted to tell him.

He nodded, understanding her. “Good, I’m glad,” he said, laughing as she bounced up and down on the couch a few times, obviously content. “You’re seriously so cute sometimes,” he told her and she grinned, stick between her teeth. “C’mere,” he said, holding his arms out to her and feeling his heart beat a little faster as she allowed him to pull her down on top of him as they laid on the couch.

“Thank you,” she said, pulling the candy out of her mouth and settling her head on his chest. “For the lollipop and for tonight. I needed both,” she said, nuzzling into his neck and feeling his arms close around her.

“I figured your sugar intake was a little low,” he joked, hoping she wouldn’t notice how sweaty his hands got or how fast his heart was beating. She was driving him crazy. And he enjoyed every second of it. He could feel her breath on his neck. Her hair tickled his ear. But he didn’t even think to move her. He didn’t want to. He was content. And feeling her overactive heart beat against his side only made him more at ease.

“I like this,” she spoke, watching the channels begin to fly past them once again when she realized she was still holding the wrapper to her lollipop in her hand. Not wanting to get up and find a trashcan, she shoved it in the pocket of her hoodie.

“I like it, too,” he told her, his hand moving up and running over her hair, which had dried and was soft now. He liked the feel of it.

Together, they watched whatever he ended up on until it was time for her to go home. Again, he walked her to her door. And again, he simply turned and walked back down the path, unknowingly leaving her confused, but still extremely happy. She wanted him to kiss her so badly that it hurt sometimes, but she could wait. She was happy with what they had right now.

When he’d driven away, she ran into the house, locked the door up, and went straight down to her bedroom. She emptied her pockets out onto her dresser, changed, brushed her teeth, and had dialed Julia’s number - all in possibly under a minute.

“Guess what I did toniiight,” she sang as soon as Julia answered her phone, her tone filled with boredom.

“Uhm… slept like you said you wanted to?” Julia asked.

“Not at all!” Veronica exclaimed, automatically spilling every detail to her best friend, keeping in the back of her mind that she needed to be off the phone soon. It was already late, he’d be calling her. And she couldn’t wait.

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