In the Breakdown, Part One. EC, Prompt #71 - Broken
LJ refuses to let me post this as one part. But I guess I shouldn't complain, because two posts = two prompts, right? Heh.
Title: In the Breakdown
By: Jessica
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Pairing: Eric Delko/Calleigh Duquesne
Prompt: #71 - Broken
Word Count: 6117 (Total word count = 15,454)
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: There are references to several many episodes, so really, anything is fair game, including Ambush and All In (6x15, 6x16), for which this is a post-episode fic.
The entire story as one part can be read here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4203368/1/
"You don't have to stay, you know."
The words were soft as they fell from Calleigh's lips, her slight embarrassment all too obvious in her voice. Despite the ordeal she had just gone through, she still didn't want anybody to fuss over her. Eric had long since given up trying to convince her that he didn't consider staying with her to be a burden, not in the slightest. The truth was that he needed to be here. He couldn't just leave her because she told him he didn't have to stay. It wasn't that easy.
Eric would never forget the cold fear that had gripped him when he'd discovered Calleigh was missing. His entire world had come to an abrupt halt; nothing else mattered except finding Calleigh. Open cases, getting out of the lab on time, the bullet that resided within his temporal lobe - all the things that concerned him on a daily basis, today they had no place in his mind. He'd chased leads all through the night, becoming increasingly frustrated as each one of them seemed to lead to a dead end. But each dead end only made him work harder, paying no attention at all to what a double or a triple shift could do to his own health, his own already impaired memory. None of that mattered, for finding Calleigh was his only priority.
He knew that if he didn't find her, the state of his health and sanity wouldn't matter to him anyway. Losing Calleigh would kill him.
And when they'd finally found her, it was all Eric could do to keep from rushing forward and gathering her into his arms. He knew though, that if he did that, he would never let her go. Calleigh had been strong up until the point where her kidnapper was taken away; until the gun was gently taken from her surprisingly steady hands. But after that, her façade had crumbled. The strong woman that Eric knew and loved so dearly, she had finally taken more than she could handle. The relief he'd felt initially upon finding her safe and sound was quickly eclipsed by even more concern and worry as the defeated look on her face tugged so immensely at his heartstrings.
She'd composed herself quickly, though, but even her reassurance that she was fine could not erase the way he'd felt as he'd watched her nearly lose it, right in front of him. In all the years he'd known her, Eric had never seen Calleigh break. When Hagen committed suicide in her lab, Calleigh had remained defiant, even insisting that she should be the one to work the case. Earlier this year, after being held at gunpoint and nearly run over, Calleigh's eyes had teared up, and she'd even allowed Eric to hold her, burying her face in the crook of his neck. But still, she'd somehow seemed in control of her emotions. Eric remembered exactly how her tiny frame felt against his body; she'd felt tense, almost as though she were still fighting. Today, however, there was none of that. Today had very nearly, if not completely broken her.
And that had broken Eric. There was no way he could even think about leaving her. She wasn't okay. He wasn't okay. And the only way that Eric knew to rectify that was for them to stay together. He needed her, and he liked to think that she needed him too, far more than she would let on.
"Really, Eric," Calleigh continued quietly, pulling Eric away from his thoughts and back into the present. She fidgeted slightly with her fingers, the only indication of her still startled nerves. "You don't have to stay. I'll be fine."
Letting out a breath, Eric took a few steps toward her, until he stood directly in front of her. Her eyes were downcast, obviously trying desperately to avoid whatever emotion threatened to overtake her. All Eric wanted was to take her in his arms and let her know it was okay to fall; it was okay to let go. But still he resisted. The very last thing Eric wanted to do was push her away. "I don't have anywhere else to be," he replied sincerely, waiting for Calleigh to meet his gaze before continuing. "I want to be here. I need to be here. I need…I need to know for myself that you're okay," he finished, raw emotion evident in every syllable.
Her walls weren't completely broken down, but they were damaged. Calleigh didn't possess the strength to hide from him completely, and as Eric gazed deep into her beautiful emerald eyes, he could see the depth of what she felt, what she wanted but could not, or would not, lend her voice to. She needed him to stay. So often Calleigh seemed fearless, but Eric could tell that, deep down, she was immensely afraid of being alone tonight. Whether it was the possibility of nightmares, or the total inability to sleep, Eric didn't know. All he really knew right now was that there was nothing in this world that could make him leave her tonight. "I'm not going anywhere," he murmured. Gently he lay a hand on her shoulder, squeezing softly, feeling her shiver beneath his touch. "Nowhere," he emphasized, brushing his lips just slightly over her forehead.
A shaky breath escaped her; how did Eric always know exactly what she needed, without her ever saying anything? It was as though he knew exactly how to get into her head, into the very depths of her heart. It was as though her very deepest secrets were not secrets at all to Eric. And yet, still she felt safe. She felt more than secure. It was almost as though she needed Eric to see the depths of her soul in order to feel completely safe. The idea somewhat appalled her - she was supposed to be strong. She didn't need a man in her life to feel like this - but at the same time, the idea made her feel…cared for? Loved? Calleigh couldn't describe it; it was unlike anything she'd ever felt before, but she couldn't get enough of it, despite the very small part of her that right now would claim to hate it.
Somehow, her palms had found their way to Eric's hips without her being aware of it, whether because deep down she knew her balance would fail her soon, or because she just needed to feel close to Eric; Calleigh didn't know. It felt right, though, and Calleigh couldn't help but want to give into his need, her need. "Okay," she murmured, echoing the emotionally-charged reply she'd given him earlier. Once more she felt his lips brush her forehead, and Calleigh let out a sigh, in the back of her mind realizing that being held like this was something she could get used to.
And he wasn't even really holding her. Her hands on his hips, his hands on her shoulders, and his lips at her forehead was the extent of their contact. What surprised her wasn't that Eric was keeping a bit of distance - she knew it was probably killing him to maintain that distance, but Eric had always respected the extra personal space that Calleigh needed. What surprised Calleigh was how badly she actually wanted Eric to take her fully into his arms. She wanted to be held by him, for no other reason than to be held by him. She wanted to hear his heartbeat as she lay her ear over his chest, closing her eyes as she tucked her head beneath his chin, her arms wrapped as tightly around him as his were around her. The vision was exquisite, and it left an aching emptiness in Calleigh's heart; an emptiness that she'd been trying to ignore for years. But that emptiness was something that, as the days went on, was becoming impossible to ignore.
Even more impossible to ignore was the realization that the only times Calleigh ever felt whole were the times when she was with Eric. She had never believed in the idea of having a predestined soulmate, but now, she was honestly beginning to wonder.
A shiver raced down her spine as Eric gently rubbed his thumbs in circles over her shoulders, unknowingly accelerating her already racing heart. "Do you need me to do anything?" he asked quietly, concern in his eyes as he gazed down at her.
Calleigh kept her eyes closed, knowing that if she looked at him right now, he would see straight into her soul. He would see everything that she wanted. It was thrilling to her, the idea of being so completely open to this man, but still she held back. Unconsciously licking her parched lips, Calleigh gave a small shake of her head. "No…"
Eric lifted a hand, softly brushing a lock of blonde away from her face. "You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Calleigh replied, smiling softly. Finally she allowed herself to meet Eric's eyes, albeit briefly. "I think what I need now is just to get out of these clothes," she admitted, repressing a shudder. The longer that her navy sweater stuck to her skin, the longer she would be reminded of what had happened.
And all Calleigh really wanted was to forget.
Eric nodded, understanding fully. He didn't know the full story, and he didn't ask either. If Calleigh wanted to share, she would. And if she didn't, Eric was okay with that too. The last thing he wanted was confirmation of the deepest fears in his mind - that anybody had ever hurt Calleigh.
His Calleigh, as his heart was dying to call her.
He murmured a quiet "okay," reluctantly releasing her from his grasp, feeling immediately the tingling sensation that lingered in his fingers.
Calleigh hesitated for a moment, torn between wanting to stay with him and needing to change into something different. Instinctively, she reached out to him, just barely squeezing his hand with hers. It was such a small gesture, but it conveyed all that Calleigh could not find the words to say. "I'll be right back," she said quietly, before releasing his hand and making her way to her bedroom.
Once inside, Calleigh let out a deep, shaky breath. For the first time since she'd awoken, bound and gagged, she was alone. During the time she'd been held hostage, she'd never been without one or both of her kidnappers, and since then, she had yet to get Eric to let her out of his sight, until now. And now that she was finally alone, she felt…strange. She'd thought being alone would make everything better, but this wasn't the better she had hoped for.
Being alone allowed her no distractions; it allowed her to fall right back into her thoughts. And as Calleigh slowly began to change out of her clothes into something a little less confining - a simple camisole and a pair of lounge pants - she couldn't help but drift back to the beginning, feeling everything as if it were all happening again.
She could still smell the sickly sweet scent of the chloroform as the soaked cloth was forced over her face. The same drowsy, otherworldly feeling threatened to overtake her again; the same drowsy feeling against which she had fought so valiantly, before inevitably falling victim to it, passing out in her attacker's rough grasp. Such a vast feeling of fear, of despair, of panic had washed over her as she'd awoken, hands tied tightly behind her back, and a gag securely covering her mouth.
Numerous times throughout the ordeal, Calleigh had realized that she probably wouldn't make it home alive. As she sat, lost and alone in the dark, cold room, tears had threatened to form in her eyes as she realized that she would probably never see the ones she cared for so dearly again; as she realized that she might never get to tell Eric the truth.
And then, there was the real physical pain; the pain of having a gun shoved against her head, her sides, and her abdomen multiple times. Taking a deep breath, Calleigh stared at herself in her full-length mirror, gently pulling up the hem of her camisole, exposing the already forming bruise on her abdomen to her eyes for the first time. Shuddering, Calleigh couldn't help but recall the bleakest point of all - she'd acted on instinct when Seth had touched her, and as a result, she'd ended up facedown on the ground. He'd kicked her then, hard enough to flip her over, and before Calleigh had even had time to cry out in pain, she'd been staring down the barrel while a voice at her ear growled for her to make her final statement.
It was still a small bruise yet, but as Calleigh traced the outline she found nearly her entire abdomen to be tender, and she knew by morning the bruise would be at least ten times bigger, and ten times more painful.
A knock at the door startled her, and Calleigh quickly let the material fall back over her stomach, effectively concealing the forming bruise. Before she could find her voice to reply, Eric gently teased the slightly-ajar door open, just enough to speak through, but not enough to see anything, should Calleigh have still been undressed. "Cal?" he called out cautiously.
Calleigh couldn't help but smile softly. The perfect gentleman, Eric was. Anybody else might've barged right in, hoping for a peek, and then claim it was an accident, but not Eric. "You can come in," she said quietly, instinctively crossing her arms across her stomach.
Eric hesitated; even though she'd invited him in, he wasn't sure if he should actually go in. It was, after all, her bedroom. He didn't want to worry about encroaching upon the one place that should be safest to her. But softly, he heard Calleigh call his name, and making up his mind, he pushed the door open and stepped inside.
As soon as he pushed the door open, Eric found it so much harder to stand. Her bedroom, her sanctuary, and now he was in it. The sweetest, most arousing mix of vanilla and something uniquely Calleigh washed over him in droves, and while it had hit him as soon as he'd stepped into her home, here in her bedroom it was that much more intense.
As if that wasn't enough, as soon as his eyes alighted upon her, it was all Eric could do to keep from gaping. Even at her most vulnerable, Calleigh Duquesne was still the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Her hair, slightly tousled from where she'd taken off her sweater, fell in soft waves over her shoulders - her nearly bare shoulders, covered only by the slender string of her camisole. The camisole held her tiny frame snugly, perfectly showing off her curves without being too tight. And even though her arms were crossed over her stomach, Eric couldn't help but let his eyes be drawn to the tiniest patch of creamy skin that peeked out from between the hem of her top and her pants. Her pants were nothing special; they were just a pair of plain, navy sweatpants, but the way they hugged her hips took what little remained of Eric's breath away. Even when she wasn't trying to be, Calleigh was a vision.
Clearing his throat, Eric forced himself back to the moment, recalling why he was actually here, in her bedroom. Honestly, he'd gotten concerned. Logically, he'd known he shouldn't think too much about it, but she'd been gone for a long time, and Eric had just wanted to know that she was okay. If Eric had his way, he wouldn't let Calleigh out of his sight again, but he knew that wasn't an option.
Eric decided against telling her that; after all, the last thing he wanted to do was push her away. He didn't want her to think he thought she couldn't handle being alone after what had happened, because that wasn't it - he knew she could handle being alone. It was himself that he was worried about. So, quickly he'd come up with another legitimate reason to come check on her. "I know you said you didn't need anything, but uh, I was wondering if you wanted something to eat. I can fix something, or I can order some takeout if you want."
Calleigh bit at her lip, suddenly feeling rather self-conscious under Eric's intense gaze. Having him look at her like that made her heart flutter within her chest; secretly she loved that, but it still made her feel a little shy around him.
She knew that his main intention wasn't asking if she was hungry. If she knew anything about Eric, she knew that food was the last thing on his mind right now. It was sweet of him to worry about her, and, to her own surprise, Calleigh didn't feel put off by it at all. Instead, it actually soothed her. "No thanks," she said softly, her gaze lowered. "I'm not sure that I could eat anything right now…"
Eric gave a slow nod, understanding completely. "Okay." Cautiously, he closed the distance between them, laying a gently hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. "You do know, though, that if you need anything at all, you just have to say the word, right?"
Genuine sincerity touched his every word, and Calleigh closed her eyes, knowing he meant every last one. She'd seen it in his eyes earlier; he would do anything for her. Nobody had ever shown Calleigh that kind of sheer devotion before, and while it did frighten her, it kind of thrilled her as well. "I know," she murmured with a slight nod. "Thanks, Eric…"
Eric smiled. "You don't have to thank me, sweetheart," he said soothingly, lifting his hand from her shoulder. "There's nothing else I'd rather do." Gently he reached out to her, his fingers brushing over her cheek ever so lightly as he brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.
Calleigh couldn't help but tense immediately at his touch. In that moment, suddenly it wasn't Eric's touch. Her eyes still closed, Calleigh found herself being forced back into the darkest of memories. She was no longer in the solace of her bedroom with Eric; she was back in the abandoned warehouse, alone with her kidnapper.
"…I thought that you and me could maybe waste a little time," Seth murmured suggestively, the look in his eyes making Calleigh sick to her stomach. There was no question about what he meant, and Calleigh felt as though ice water were suddenly rushing through her veins. Despite her disgust, her fear, she forced herself to maintain a strong, stoic front.
"I'd rather die than have you touch me," Calleigh breathed dangerously, her voice not once wavering.
Seth gave a slight smirk, his hand reaching up, just barely brushing his fingers over Calleigh's cheek. It turned out to be a poorly thought out move, but Calleigh struck at him then, her mind screaming at her to get his touch away from her. But instead of working to her advantage…
Instinctively, Calleigh took a step back, fighting away a shudder as she repressed that train of thought. It's over, Calleigh. Let it go.
A flash of fear pierced through Eric's heart as she pulled away from him. Her eyes were closed; he couldn't read her like that. What was she thinking? "Cal?" he asked gently, just barely resisting the urge to reach out to her again. Why had she reacted to his touch like that?
Calleigh breathed in shakily, her arms wrapped as tightly around herself as possible. "I'm okay," she murmured after a moment, once sure her voice wouldn't break. "I'm okay." Then, slowly, Calleigh allowed her eyes to open. She allowed herself to look up and meet his dark, intense gaze completely.
And, most of all, she finally allowed her walls to fall. She allowed herself to show that she needed him. By her words, she was okay. But otherwise, she wasn't, and for the first time in her life, she allowed someone to see that completely. She allowed Eric to see that completely.
The difference in her eyes was phenomenal. There was an openness there that Eric had never witnessed before, a level of trust that he'd never seen in her before. It blew him away; Calleigh had been getting better at letting him in, but she had never let her walls down for him completely, until now. "Calleigh," he murmured, his heart fluttering as she took the initiative, reclosing the small distance that had opened between them.
Her eyes never breaking away from his, Calleigh reached out, taking both of his hands with hers. "I'm sorry…about…" she trailed off, not really knowing how to voice her own pain at the way she'd just reacted to his touch at her cheek.
But her walls were down; to Eric, no words were necessary. "Hey," he said gently, a soft, reassuring smile at his lips. "It's okay, Cal." Lightly he tugged at her hands, coaxing her into him. Ducking her head, Calleigh obliged him, resting her forehead against his chest as his arms slipped around her, drawing her closer.
He felt her arms slip around him as well, and lightly he brushed his lips over her temple once, twice before nuzzling into her hair, cherishing the feel of her in his arms, which today he'd been afraid he'd never truly experience. She felt so soft, so perfect in his arms, her body resting against his. Eric had never found anybody who fit this perfectly in his embrace; and to think, had today ended differently, he would've never found that somebody. Calleigh was that somebody. "God, Calleigh," he mumbled into her hair, swaying her gently. "If I'd lost you today…"
Calleigh breathed in deeply, finding herself dizzy with the scent of him. There was still enough residual adrenaline in her system to set her every nerve ending alive, and the way Eric was holding her now, his lips brushing fire-hot over her temple, the top of her head, and the way his fingers stroked over her back, every once in a while brushing over the slim patch of skin between her top and pants - all of it was enough to short-circuit her mind and spark a certain flame within her body.
Despite the ordeal she'd gone through, or perhaps because of it - she wouldn't be here with Eric now if not for today - Calleigh felt a soft flush spread over her body, coupled with her racing heart and quickened breath. With every breath she took, Eric's scent was delivered straight to her senses, a scent which she could not place, but would know anywhere as being sexily, uniquely Eric.
Before her mind could even process her actions, Calleigh had shifted in his arms, and with just a twist of her head, her lips were mere millimeters away from his neck. A tiny grin touched her lips as she felt Eric tense just slightly, feeling her breath so close against his skin. But he didn't say a word, and slowly, Calleigh shifted again, pressing her lips to his neck in a slow, sensual kiss.
One moment, Calleigh was squirming in his arms and breathing against his skin, and Eric thought it couldn't get much more intense than that. And then, in the next moment, her lips were dancing over his neck, the explosion of feeling that resulted nearly enough to knock him from his feet. One kiss became two, three; and Eric couldn't help but let his eyes fall closed as her hand crept its way over his chest, coming to rest just over his heart.
But when her tongue and teeth added themselves to that elaborate dance, Eric had to stop her. Reluctantly, of course - her lips on his neck was easily one of the most heavenly sensations he'd ever had the pleasure to feel. But this was Calleigh; he had to know that she wanted this, that she wasn't just using it to escape from her inner demons. Moistening his parched lips, Eric gently stroked her hair, trying to coax her into looking up at him. "Calleigh…what are you doing, Cal?"
With a quick nip that left Eric biting at his own lip, Calleigh pulled away from him, feeling her need to be with him grow ever more intense. She was feeling herself grow addicted to him, and she hadn't even tasted his lips yet. "Eric…" she murmured, and when she finally looked into his eyes, Eric nearly lost it. In her dark green eyes - he'd never seen them quite that dark, that deep before - was the multitude of what he himself felt for her.
He lifted a hand, hesitating for a moment before he tentatively touched the pad of his thumb to her cheek, just praying that this time, she wouldn't pull away. And she didn't. This time, she sighed softly, leaning into his touch. Eric didn't know what had crossed her mind earlier, but it seemed as though she had beaten it, whatever it was. Cupping her cheek fully in his palm, he gazed deep into her eyes as he revealed what he needed her to know. "I mean it when I say I don't know what I would do if something had happened to you," he whispered, holding her gaze even though the temptation to glance away was huge. "Living with this bullet in my head, not knowing if a single wrong move is going to dislodge it and kill me…that scares me to death, Calleigh." He paused, watching as her eyes widened in unmistakable fear at the very idea. "But I have never been more scared in my life than I was today. Losing you…" His voice shaking, Eric had no choice but to trail off, unable to lend voice to that horrific thought.
Calleigh shuddered almost imperceptibly in his arms, the briefest flash of her ordeal flickering across her mind. The hand that remained on Eric's chest twitched just slightly, but not once did Calleigh break the blessed contact between their eyes. "I just…" she murmured, pausing to let out a deep breath. "I just want to forget," she finished, her words for the first time confirming that she really wasn't okay. "I just want to forget it all."
He couldn't help it. He had one arm around Calleigh and one hand on her cheek, and he was just overwhelmed by being so close to her. Her intoxicating scent was doing a number on his senses, and the look in her eyes - so honest, so implicitly trusting; all Eric wanted to do was grant her everything she wanted. All he wanted was to help her forget. And maybe, given all she'd been through - all they'd been through - maybe it wasn't the ethically right thing to do, but Eric had long since stopped thinking with his mind.
As he touched his forehead to hers, his every intent conveyed in his dark brown eyes, Eric was thinking with his heart. Slowly, oh so slowly, he tilted her chin up, watching her eyes flutter closed before his own eyes quickly followed. And finally, after so, so many years of waiting, of longing, Eric tentatively lowered his lips to hers in the sweetest of kisses.
And if her mind hadn't shut completely down before, it was that kiss that threw the last switch. Rising to her tiptoes, she met his lips fully, her arms snaking slowly around his neck, intent on drawing him closer to her.
It was a slow, sweet mingling of lips, almost as though there weren't so many years of pent-up tension lurking just under the surface, ready to burst out. It was every bit a first kiss; soft, gentle, tentative, though lacking the characteristic awkwardness that seems to color so many kisses shared with someone for the very first time. And as Calleigh made the first move to pull away from him, she only allowed their lips to separate, smiling softly as Eric gazed into her eyes, their foreheads still touching.
What Calleigh saw in his eyes in that moment, she couldn't fully lend a name to. There were just too many feelings that she herself had never experienced before; she had no idea what they were.
The torment of her ordeal still lingered at the back of her mind, and it must've shown through in her eyes. Eric lifted a hand, gently stroking the back of her hair as he watched her closely, trying to read her. "You okay?" he asked quietly.
Slowly, Calleigh gave a slight nod, lowering her eyes to Eric's lips, for it had grown far too intense to gaze into those dark brown orbs. "I'm okay," she murmured, the gentleness of Eric's fingers stroking through her hair nearly hypnotizing her, enticing her into a sense of calm she hadn't felt in what seemed like forever.
To punctuate the truth of her words, Calleigh tilted her head, kissing him once more. With a hand on his cheek, his stubble tickling her skin, she drew him closer, the feel of his lips against hers awakening something within her, something she hadn't really felt before this.
Calleigh had never really believed that there existed a fairytale kiss. After all, a kiss was just a kiss, wasn't it? Just a simple pressing together of lips, and while they might be pleasurable, they weren't anything special. But this kiss, these two kisses shared with Eric changed her perception entirely. Never before had she had a kiss that honestly made her knees go weak; never before had she had a kiss that took her breath away so completely.
And this kiss managed to do both of those the very second that his lips touched her own. Everything she'd ever read about in the few romance novels she'd had time to finish…she was experiencing it firsthand. And, by far, experiencing it was so much better than reading about it.
Calleigh soon felt his teeth nip lightly at her lower lip, begging permission to deepen the kiss, permission that was quickly granted with a soft moan. Gladly she parted her lips for him, letting his tongue slip past, into the warm cavern of her mouth.
Eric gave a slight groan as his tongue explored her warm mouth for the first time, tasting a sweetness that was so uniquely Calleigh. Her lips were so soft against his own; it was literally driving him crazy, crazy for her. He felt her fingernails scratching gently at the back of his neck, sending shivers down the length of his spine, and Eric couldn't help but give a soft growl.
The need for oxygen was quickly becoming unavoidable, but the last thing Eric ever wanted to do was break away from her lips. His entire body felt electrified by her, and the tiny moan he pulled from her as gently he moved her toward the wall sent so much of his blood rushing southward. So dizzy was he, but dizzy from lack of oxygen or from being so close to Calleigh, he knew not.
Vaguely Calleigh felt the wall against her back, surprising her slightly - she hadn't really realized they'd been moving, she'd been so lost in the feel of his lips moving against hers. So hypnotic it was; she'd never had a kiss before that had the power to block out everything, leaving only with sensation - his lips on hers, his hands in her hair, and now, the wall at her back, leaving her trapped between that wall and Eric's body.
Over and over his lips crashed with hers, kissing her with more intensity than Calleigh had ever thought possible. He tightened his fingers in her hair, trying to pull her even closer to him. He shifted slightly, and Calleigh couldn't help but moan lightly into his mouth as she felt his arousal caught between their bodies. Just the feel of that sent a shiver racing to the deepest parts of her.
Suddenly, the reality of the situation dawned on Calleigh; the line they were about to cross with each other. They'd already teased the boundary, but now they were about to jump headfirst over that line. And oh, she wanted to; she'd wanted to for years. Calleigh had spent so long daydreaming about this, but now that it was actually upon her, it brought with it a sense of fear. What if they crossed this line, and it turned out to be a mistake? What if, instead of bringing them closer, this only made things awkward between them? Her mind had awoken from the initial shock of his kiss, and was now working on overdrive, much to her heart and body's dismay.
"Eric," she mumbled against his lips, his name more of a moan than a protest. Mentally she kicked herself for that; this felt good; too good, but despite how badly she wanted him, she had to know that this wasn't a mistake. She had to know that this was only the beginning, and not just something they were doing because both of them were emotionally damaged today.
Her mind was the only part of her that was crying out against this. Even she couldn't deny the amount of heat quickly gathering in the lower regions of her body; she couldn't deny the fact that this felt too perfect to be wrong. As Eric's tongue teased her own; as his hands migrated to her hips, his thumbs stroking the uncovered patch of skin there, all Calleigh wanted was to silence her mind and give in.
She felt Eric's hands toy with the hem of her top, slowly pushing it upward by mere centimeters, and Calleigh used the last reserves of her strength to break away from his kiss, trying her best to ignore the way he tasted upon her lips as she moistened them with her tongue. "Eric," she tried again, breathless.
Her tiny hands closed over his, stopping him, albeit reluctantly. "Eric." Her eyes locked on their connected hands, the contrasts between them striking her. His dark skin, her pale skin; his large hands, her tiny ones. The contrast was made ever more apparent as he turned his hands, releasing her camisole and enveloping both of her hands in his. The fit was exquisite, and Calleigh's body trembled as she imagined the perfection of her body wrapped snugly in his embrace, or his lips meshing so perfectly with hers as he moved inside her…
The thought brought a rush of moisture to her core, as well a flush to the rest of her body. Suddenly, though her current state of dress was extremely light, she felt as though she were suffocating. She wanted them off; she wanted nothing separating their bodies. She wanted to feel his skin on hers, the lightest sheen of sweat over the both of them. That was what she wanted; what every part of her wanted, but what she needed was to be sure. At this point, she couldn't be sure what she needed to know from Eric, but she needed some kind of confirmation.
With a deep, steadying breath, Calleigh lifted her eyes, immediately falling victim to the darkened, lustful, almost crazy look in Eric's eyes. It sent a deep, delicious shiver racing through every inch of her body, and as her lips parted to once again murmur his name - it was by far the only coherent thought she possessed - she found that all that escaped was a soft, undignified squeak. Her mouth was dry and she could barely breathe; she was dizzy with Eric. Her body was spinning out of control, taking her heart along for the ride and leaving behind only a few vestiges of her mind. She'd thought the adrenaline rush from earlier was beginning to wear off, but apparently she'd been wrong. Her entire body felt overly sensitized; the lightest touches from Eric were enough to send her arousal soaring skyward.
"I was so afraid of losing you today," Eric murmured quietly, and it was all Calleigh could do to keep from shuddering at his tone. "When I saw you walk through that doorway, that bastard with a gun at your back, it was all I could do not to shoot him right there. And then…when he threatened to shoot you…" Eric trailed off, his eyes clearly demonstrating the fierce anger that had coursed through his veins earlier. "I could've killed those guys with my bare hands," he continued in a whisper, almost a growl. "I would've killed anyone with my bare hands for you."
Part Two
Title: In the Breakdown
By: Jessica
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Pairing: Eric Delko/Calleigh Duquesne
Prompt: #71 - Broken
Word Count: 6117 (Total word count = 15,454)
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: There are references to several many episodes, so really, anything is fair game, including Ambush and All In (6x15, 6x16), for which this is a post-episode fic.
The entire story as one part can be read here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4203368/1/
"You don't have to stay, you know."
The words were soft as they fell from Calleigh's lips, her slight embarrassment all too obvious in her voice. Despite the ordeal she had just gone through, she still didn't want anybody to fuss over her. Eric had long since given up trying to convince her that he didn't consider staying with her to be a burden, not in the slightest. The truth was that he needed to be here. He couldn't just leave her because she told him he didn't have to stay. It wasn't that easy.
Eric would never forget the cold fear that had gripped him when he'd discovered Calleigh was missing. His entire world had come to an abrupt halt; nothing else mattered except finding Calleigh. Open cases, getting out of the lab on time, the bullet that resided within his temporal lobe - all the things that concerned him on a daily basis, today they had no place in his mind. He'd chased leads all through the night, becoming increasingly frustrated as each one of them seemed to lead to a dead end. But each dead end only made him work harder, paying no attention at all to what a double or a triple shift could do to his own health, his own already impaired memory. None of that mattered, for finding Calleigh was his only priority.
He knew that if he didn't find her, the state of his health and sanity wouldn't matter to him anyway. Losing Calleigh would kill him.
And when they'd finally found her, it was all Eric could do to keep from rushing forward and gathering her into his arms. He knew though, that if he did that, he would never let her go. Calleigh had been strong up until the point where her kidnapper was taken away; until the gun was gently taken from her surprisingly steady hands. But after that, her façade had crumbled. The strong woman that Eric knew and loved so dearly, she had finally taken more than she could handle. The relief he'd felt initially upon finding her safe and sound was quickly eclipsed by even more concern and worry as the defeated look on her face tugged so immensely at his heartstrings.
She'd composed herself quickly, though, but even her reassurance that she was fine could not erase the way he'd felt as he'd watched her nearly lose it, right in front of him. In all the years he'd known her, Eric had never seen Calleigh break. When Hagen committed suicide in her lab, Calleigh had remained defiant, even insisting that she should be the one to work the case. Earlier this year, after being held at gunpoint and nearly run over, Calleigh's eyes had teared up, and she'd even allowed Eric to hold her, burying her face in the crook of his neck. But still, she'd somehow seemed in control of her emotions. Eric remembered exactly how her tiny frame felt against his body; she'd felt tense, almost as though she were still fighting. Today, however, there was none of that. Today had very nearly, if not completely broken her.
And that had broken Eric. There was no way he could even think about leaving her. She wasn't okay. He wasn't okay. And the only way that Eric knew to rectify that was for them to stay together. He needed her, and he liked to think that she needed him too, far more than she would let on.
"Really, Eric," Calleigh continued quietly, pulling Eric away from his thoughts and back into the present. She fidgeted slightly with her fingers, the only indication of her still startled nerves. "You don't have to stay. I'll be fine."
Letting out a breath, Eric took a few steps toward her, until he stood directly in front of her. Her eyes were downcast, obviously trying desperately to avoid whatever emotion threatened to overtake her. All Eric wanted was to take her in his arms and let her know it was okay to fall; it was okay to let go. But still he resisted. The very last thing Eric wanted to do was push her away. "I don't have anywhere else to be," he replied sincerely, waiting for Calleigh to meet his gaze before continuing. "I want to be here. I need to be here. I need…I need to know for myself that you're okay," he finished, raw emotion evident in every syllable.
Her walls weren't completely broken down, but they were damaged. Calleigh didn't possess the strength to hide from him completely, and as Eric gazed deep into her beautiful emerald eyes, he could see the depth of what she felt, what she wanted but could not, or would not, lend her voice to. She needed him to stay. So often Calleigh seemed fearless, but Eric could tell that, deep down, she was immensely afraid of being alone tonight. Whether it was the possibility of nightmares, or the total inability to sleep, Eric didn't know. All he really knew right now was that there was nothing in this world that could make him leave her tonight. "I'm not going anywhere," he murmured. Gently he lay a hand on her shoulder, squeezing softly, feeling her shiver beneath his touch. "Nowhere," he emphasized, brushing his lips just slightly over her forehead.
A shaky breath escaped her; how did Eric always know exactly what she needed, without her ever saying anything? It was as though he knew exactly how to get into her head, into the very depths of her heart. It was as though her very deepest secrets were not secrets at all to Eric. And yet, still she felt safe. She felt more than secure. It was almost as though she needed Eric to see the depths of her soul in order to feel completely safe. The idea somewhat appalled her - she was supposed to be strong. She didn't need a man in her life to feel like this - but at the same time, the idea made her feel…cared for? Loved? Calleigh couldn't describe it; it was unlike anything she'd ever felt before, but she couldn't get enough of it, despite the very small part of her that right now would claim to hate it.
Somehow, her palms had found their way to Eric's hips without her being aware of it, whether because deep down she knew her balance would fail her soon, or because she just needed to feel close to Eric; Calleigh didn't know. It felt right, though, and Calleigh couldn't help but want to give into his need, her need. "Okay," she murmured, echoing the emotionally-charged reply she'd given him earlier. Once more she felt his lips brush her forehead, and Calleigh let out a sigh, in the back of her mind realizing that being held like this was something she could get used to.
And he wasn't even really holding her. Her hands on his hips, his hands on her shoulders, and his lips at her forehead was the extent of their contact. What surprised her wasn't that Eric was keeping a bit of distance - she knew it was probably killing him to maintain that distance, but Eric had always respected the extra personal space that Calleigh needed. What surprised Calleigh was how badly she actually wanted Eric to take her fully into his arms. She wanted to be held by him, for no other reason than to be held by him. She wanted to hear his heartbeat as she lay her ear over his chest, closing her eyes as she tucked her head beneath his chin, her arms wrapped as tightly around him as his were around her. The vision was exquisite, and it left an aching emptiness in Calleigh's heart; an emptiness that she'd been trying to ignore for years. But that emptiness was something that, as the days went on, was becoming impossible to ignore.
Even more impossible to ignore was the realization that the only times Calleigh ever felt whole were the times when she was with Eric. She had never believed in the idea of having a predestined soulmate, but now, she was honestly beginning to wonder.
A shiver raced down her spine as Eric gently rubbed his thumbs in circles over her shoulders, unknowingly accelerating her already racing heart. "Do you need me to do anything?" he asked quietly, concern in his eyes as he gazed down at her.
Calleigh kept her eyes closed, knowing that if she looked at him right now, he would see straight into her soul. He would see everything that she wanted. It was thrilling to her, the idea of being so completely open to this man, but still she held back. Unconsciously licking her parched lips, Calleigh gave a small shake of her head. "No…"
Eric lifted a hand, softly brushing a lock of blonde away from her face. "You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Calleigh replied, smiling softly. Finally she allowed herself to meet Eric's eyes, albeit briefly. "I think what I need now is just to get out of these clothes," she admitted, repressing a shudder. The longer that her navy sweater stuck to her skin, the longer she would be reminded of what had happened.
And all Calleigh really wanted was to forget.
Eric nodded, understanding fully. He didn't know the full story, and he didn't ask either. If Calleigh wanted to share, she would. And if she didn't, Eric was okay with that too. The last thing he wanted was confirmation of the deepest fears in his mind - that anybody had ever hurt Calleigh.
His Calleigh, as his heart was dying to call her.
He murmured a quiet "okay," reluctantly releasing her from his grasp, feeling immediately the tingling sensation that lingered in his fingers.
Calleigh hesitated for a moment, torn between wanting to stay with him and needing to change into something different. Instinctively, she reached out to him, just barely squeezing his hand with hers. It was such a small gesture, but it conveyed all that Calleigh could not find the words to say. "I'll be right back," she said quietly, before releasing his hand and making her way to her bedroom.
Once inside, Calleigh let out a deep, shaky breath. For the first time since she'd awoken, bound and gagged, she was alone. During the time she'd been held hostage, she'd never been without one or both of her kidnappers, and since then, she had yet to get Eric to let her out of his sight, until now. And now that she was finally alone, she felt…strange. She'd thought being alone would make everything better, but this wasn't the better she had hoped for.
Being alone allowed her no distractions; it allowed her to fall right back into her thoughts. And as Calleigh slowly began to change out of her clothes into something a little less confining - a simple camisole and a pair of lounge pants - she couldn't help but drift back to the beginning, feeling everything as if it were all happening again.
She could still smell the sickly sweet scent of the chloroform as the soaked cloth was forced over her face. The same drowsy, otherworldly feeling threatened to overtake her again; the same drowsy feeling against which she had fought so valiantly, before inevitably falling victim to it, passing out in her attacker's rough grasp. Such a vast feeling of fear, of despair, of panic had washed over her as she'd awoken, hands tied tightly behind her back, and a gag securely covering her mouth.
Numerous times throughout the ordeal, Calleigh had realized that she probably wouldn't make it home alive. As she sat, lost and alone in the dark, cold room, tears had threatened to form in her eyes as she realized that she would probably never see the ones she cared for so dearly again; as she realized that she might never get to tell Eric the truth.
And then, there was the real physical pain; the pain of having a gun shoved against her head, her sides, and her abdomen multiple times. Taking a deep breath, Calleigh stared at herself in her full-length mirror, gently pulling up the hem of her camisole, exposing the already forming bruise on her abdomen to her eyes for the first time. Shuddering, Calleigh couldn't help but recall the bleakest point of all - she'd acted on instinct when Seth had touched her, and as a result, she'd ended up facedown on the ground. He'd kicked her then, hard enough to flip her over, and before Calleigh had even had time to cry out in pain, she'd been staring down the barrel while a voice at her ear growled for her to make her final statement.
It was still a small bruise yet, but as Calleigh traced the outline she found nearly her entire abdomen to be tender, and she knew by morning the bruise would be at least ten times bigger, and ten times more painful.
A knock at the door startled her, and Calleigh quickly let the material fall back over her stomach, effectively concealing the forming bruise. Before she could find her voice to reply, Eric gently teased the slightly-ajar door open, just enough to speak through, but not enough to see anything, should Calleigh have still been undressed. "Cal?" he called out cautiously.
Calleigh couldn't help but smile softly. The perfect gentleman, Eric was. Anybody else might've barged right in, hoping for a peek, and then claim it was an accident, but not Eric. "You can come in," she said quietly, instinctively crossing her arms across her stomach.
Eric hesitated; even though she'd invited him in, he wasn't sure if he should actually go in. It was, after all, her bedroom. He didn't want to worry about encroaching upon the one place that should be safest to her. But softly, he heard Calleigh call his name, and making up his mind, he pushed the door open and stepped inside.
As soon as he pushed the door open, Eric found it so much harder to stand. Her bedroom, her sanctuary, and now he was in it. The sweetest, most arousing mix of vanilla and something uniquely Calleigh washed over him in droves, and while it had hit him as soon as he'd stepped into her home, here in her bedroom it was that much more intense.
As if that wasn't enough, as soon as his eyes alighted upon her, it was all Eric could do to keep from gaping. Even at her most vulnerable, Calleigh Duquesne was still the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Her hair, slightly tousled from where she'd taken off her sweater, fell in soft waves over her shoulders - her nearly bare shoulders, covered only by the slender string of her camisole. The camisole held her tiny frame snugly, perfectly showing off her curves without being too tight. And even though her arms were crossed over her stomach, Eric couldn't help but let his eyes be drawn to the tiniest patch of creamy skin that peeked out from between the hem of her top and her pants. Her pants were nothing special; they were just a pair of plain, navy sweatpants, but the way they hugged her hips took what little remained of Eric's breath away. Even when she wasn't trying to be, Calleigh was a vision.
Clearing his throat, Eric forced himself back to the moment, recalling why he was actually here, in her bedroom. Honestly, he'd gotten concerned. Logically, he'd known he shouldn't think too much about it, but she'd been gone for a long time, and Eric had just wanted to know that she was okay. If Eric had his way, he wouldn't let Calleigh out of his sight again, but he knew that wasn't an option.
Eric decided against telling her that; after all, the last thing he wanted to do was push her away. He didn't want her to think he thought she couldn't handle being alone after what had happened, because that wasn't it - he knew she could handle being alone. It was himself that he was worried about. So, quickly he'd come up with another legitimate reason to come check on her. "I know you said you didn't need anything, but uh, I was wondering if you wanted something to eat. I can fix something, or I can order some takeout if you want."
Calleigh bit at her lip, suddenly feeling rather self-conscious under Eric's intense gaze. Having him look at her like that made her heart flutter within her chest; secretly she loved that, but it still made her feel a little shy around him.
She knew that his main intention wasn't asking if she was hungry. If she knew anything about Eric, she knew that food was the last thing on his mind right now. It was sweet of him to worry about her, and, to her own surprise, Calleigh didn't feel put off by it at all. Instead, it actually soothed her. "No thanks," she said softly, her gaze lowered. "I'm not sure that I could eat anything right now…"
Eric gave a slow nod, understanding completely. "Okay." Cautiously, he closed the distance between them, laying a gently hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. "You do know, though, that if you need anything at all, you just have to say the word, right?"
Genuine sincerity touched his every word, and Calleigh closed her eyes, knowing he meant every last one. She'd seen it in his eyes earlier; he would do anything for her. Nobody had ever shown Calleigh that kind of sheer devotion before, and while it did frighten her, it kind of thrilled her as well. "I know," she murmured with a slight nod. "Thanks, Eric…"
Eric smiled. "You don't have to thank me, sweetheart," he said soothingly, lifting his hand from her shoulder. "There's nothing else I'd rather do." Gently he reached out to her, his fingers brushing over her cheek ever so lightly as he brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.
Calleigh couldn't help but tense immediately at his touch. In that moment, suddenly it wasn't Eric's touch. Her eyes still closed, Calleigh found herself being forced back into the darkest of memories. She was no longer in the solace of her bedroom with Eric; she was back in the abandoned warehouse, alone with her kidnapper.
"…I thought that you and me could maybe waste a little time," Seth murmured suggestively, the look in his eyes making Calleigh sick to her stomach. There was no question about what he meant, and Calleigh felt as though ice water were suddenly rushing through her veins. Despite her disgust, her fear, she forced herself to maintain a strong, stoic front.
"I'd rather die than have you touch me," Calleigh breathed dangerously, her voice not once wavering.
Seth gave a slight smirk, his hand reaching up, just barely brushing his fingers over Calleigh's cheek. It turned out to be a poorly thought out move, but Calleigh struck at him then, her mind screaming at her to get his touch away from her. But instead of working to her advantage…
Instinctively, Calleigh took a step back, fighting away a shudder as she repressed that train of thought. It's over, Calleigh. Let it go.
A flash of fear pierced through Eric's heart as she pulled away from him. Her eyes were closed; he couldn't read her like that. What was she thinking? "Cal?" he asked gently, just barely resisting the urge to reach out to her again. Why had she reacted to his touch like that?
Calleigh breathed in shakily, her arms wrapped as tightly around herself as possible. "I'm okay," she murmured after a moment, once sure her voice wouldn't break. "I'm okay." Then, slowly, Calleigh allowed her eyes to open. She allowed herself to look up and meet his dark, intense gaze completely.
And, most of all, she finally allowed her walls to fall. She allowed herself to show that she needed him. By her words, she was okay. But otherwise, she wasn't, and for the first time in her life, she allowed someone to see that completely. She allowed Eric to see that completely.
The difference in her eyes was phenomenal. There was an openness there that Eric had never witnessed before, a level of trust that he'd never seen in her before. It blew him away; Calleigh had been getting better at letting him in, but she had never let her walls down for him completely, until now. "Calleigh," he murmured, his heart fluttering as she took the initiative, reclosing the small distance that had opened between them.
Her eyes never breaking away from his, Calleigh reached out, taking both of his hands with hers. "I'm sorry…about…" she trailed off, not really knowing how to voice her own pain at the way she'd just reacted to his touch at her cheek.
But her walls were down; to Eric, no words were necessary. "Hey," he said gently, a soft, reassuring smile at his lips. "It's okay, Cal." Lightly he tugged at her hands, coaxing her into him. Ducking her head, Calleigh obliged him, resting her forehead against his chest as his arms slipped around her, drawing her closer.
He felt her arms slip around him as well, and lightly he brushed his lips over her temple once, twice before nuzzling into her hair, cherishing the feel of her in his arms, which today he'd been afraid he'd never truly experience. She felt so soft, so perfect in his arms, her body resting against his. Eric had never found anybody who fit this perfectly in his embrace; and to think, had today ended differently, he would've never found that somebody. Calleigh was that somebody. "God, Calleigh," he mumbled into her hair, swaying her gently. "If I'd lost you today…"
Calleigh breathed in deeply, finding herself dizzy with the scent of him. There was still enough residual adrenaline in her system to set her every nerve ending alive, and the way Eric was holding her now, his lips brushing fire-hot over her temple, the top of her head, and the way his fingers stroked over her back, every once in a while brushing over the slim patch of skin between her top and pants - all of it was enough to short-circuit her mind and spark a certain flame within her body.
Despite the ordeal she'd gone through, or perhaps because of it - she wouldn't be here with Eric now if not for today - Calleigh felt a soft flush spread over her body, coupled with her racing heart and quickened breath. With every breath she took, Eric's scent was delivered straight to her senses, a scent which she could not place, but would know anywhere as being sexily, uniquely Eric.
Before her mind could even process her actions, Calleigh had shifted in his arms, and with just a twist of her head, her lips were mere millimeters away from his neck. A tiny grin touched her lips as she felt Eric tense just slightly, feeling her breath so close against his skin. But he didn't say a word, and slowly, Calleigh shifted again, pressing her lips to his neck in a slow, sensual kiss.
One moment, Calleigh was squirming in his arms and breathing against his skin, and Eric thought it couldn't get much more intense than that. And then, in the next moment, her lips were dancing over his neck, the explosion of feeling that resulted nearly enough to knock him from his feet. One kiss became two, three; and Eric couldn't help but let his eyes fall closed as her hand crept its way over his chest, coming to rest just over his heart.
But when her tongue and teeth added themselves to that elaborate dance, Eric had to stop her. Reluctantly, of course - her lips on his neck was easily one of the most heavenly sensations he'd ever had the pleasure to feel. But this was Calleigh; he had to know that she wanted this, that she wasn't just using it to escape from her inner demons. Moistening his parched lips, Eric gently stroked her hair, trying to coax her into looking up at him. "Calleigh…what are you doing, Cal?"
With a quick nip that left Eric biting at his own lip, Calleigh pulled away from him, feeling her need to be with him grow ever more intense. She was feeling herself grow addicted to him, and she hadn't even tasted his lips yet. "Eric…" she murmured, and when she finally looked into his eyes, Eric nearly lost it. In her dark green eyes - he'd never seen them quite that dark, that deep before - was the multitude of what he himself felt for her.
He lifted a hand, hesitating for a moment before he tentatively touched the pad of his thumb to her cheek, just praying that this time, she wouldn't pull away. And she didn't. This time, she sighed softly, leaning into his touch. Eric didn't know what had crossed her mind earlier, but it seemed as though she had beaten it, whatever it was. Cupping her cheek fully in his palm, he gazed deep into her eyes as he revealed what he needed her to know. "I mean it when I say I don't know what I would do if something had happened to you," he whispered, holding her gaze even though the temptation to glance away was huge. "Living with this bullet in my head, not knowing if a single wrong move is going to dislodge it and kill me…that scares me to death, Calleigh." He paused, watching as her eyes widened in unmistakable fear at the very idea. "But I have never been more scared in my life than I was today. Losing you…" His voice shaking, Eric had no choice but to trail off, unable to lend voice to that horrific thought.
Calleigh shuddered almost imperceptibly in his arms, the briefest flash of her ordeal flickering across her mind. The hand that remained on Eric's chest twitched just slightly, but not once did Calleigh break the blessed contact between their eyes. "I just…" she murmured, pausing to let out a deep breath. "I just want to forget," she finished, her words for the first time confirming that she really wasn't okay. "I just want to forget it all."
He couldn't help it. He had one arm around Calleigh and one hand on her cheek, and he was just overwhelmed by being so close to her. Her intoxicating scent was doing a number on his senses, and the look in her eyes - so honest, so implicitly trusting; all Eric wanted to do was grant her everything she wanted. All he wanted was to help her forget. And maybe, given all she'd been through - all they'd been through - maybe it wasn't the ethically right thing to do, but Eric had long since stopped thinking with his mind.
As he touched his forehead to hers, his every intent conveyed in his dark brown eyes, Eric was thinking with his heart. Slowly, oh so slowly, he tilted her chin up, watching her eyes flutter closed before his own eyes quickly followed. And finally, after so, so many years of waiting, of longing, Eric tentatively lowered his lips to hers in the sweetest of kisses.
And if her mind hadn't shut completely down before, it was that kiss that threw the last switch. Rising to her tiptoes, she met his lips fully, her arms snaking slowly around his neck, intent on drawing him closer to her.
It was a slow, sweet mingling of lips, almost as though there weren't so many years of pent-up tension lurking just under the surface, ready to burst out. It was every bit a first kiss; soft, gentle, tentative, though lacking the characteristic awkwardness that seems to color so many kisses shared with someone for the very first time. And as Calleigh made the first move to pull away from him, she only allowed their lips to separate, smiling softly as Eric gazed into her eyes, their foreheads still touching.
What Calleigh saw in his eyes in that moment, she couldn't fully lend a name to. There were just too many feelings that she herself had never experienced before; she had no idea what they were.
The torment of her ordeal still lingered at the back of her mind, and it must've shown through in her eyes. Eric lifted a hand, gently stroking the back of her hair as he watched her closely, trying to read her. "You okay?" he asked quietly.
Slowly, Calleigh gave a slight nod, lowering her eyes to Eric's lips, for it had grown far too intense to gaze into those dark brown orbs. "I'm okay," she murmured, the gentleness of Eric's fingers stroking through her hair nearly hypnotizing her, enticing her into a sense of calm she hadn't felt in what seemed like forever.
To punctuate the truth of her words, Calleigh tilted her head, kissing him once more. With a hand on his cheek, his stubble tickling her skin, she drew him closer, the feel of his lips against hers awakening something within her, something she hadn't really felt before this.
Calleigh had never really believed that there existed a fairytale kiss. After all, a kiss was just a kiss, wasn't it? Just a simple pressing together of lips, and while they might be pleasurable, they weren't anything special. But this kiss, these two kisses shared with Eric changed her perception entirely. Never before had she had a kiss that honestly made her knees go weak; never before had she had a kiss that took her breath away so completely.
And this kiss managed to do both of those the very second that his lips touched her own. Everything she'd ever read about in the few romance novels she'd had time to finish…she was experiencing it firsthand. And, by far, experiencing it was so much better than reading about it.
Calleigh soon felt his teeth nip lightly at her lower lip, begging permission to deepen the kiss, permission that was quickly granted with a soft moan. Gladly she parted her lips for him, letting his tongue slip past, into the warm cavern of her mouth.
Eric gave a slight groan as his tongue explored her warm mouth for the first time, tasting a sweetness that was so uniquely Calleigh. Her lips were so soft against his own; it was literally driving him crazy, crazy for her. He felt her fingernails scratching gently at the back of his neck, sending shivers down the length of his spine, and Eric couldn't help but give a soft growl.
The need for oxygen was quickly becoming unavoidable, but the last thing Eric ever wanted to do was break away from her lips. His entire body felt electrified by her, and the tiny moan he pulled from her as gently he moved her toward the wall sent so much of his blood rushing southward. So dizzy was he, but dizzy from lack of oxygen or from being so close to Calleigh, he knew not.
Vaguely Calleigh felt the wall against her back, surprising her slightly - she hadn't really realized they'd been moving, she'd been so lost in the feel of his lips moving against hers. So hypnotic it was; she'd never had a kiss before that had the power to block out everything, leaving only with sensation - his lips on hers, his hands in her hair, and now, the wall at her back, leaving her trapped between that wall and Eric's body.
Over and over his lips crashed with hers, kissing her with more intensity than Calleigh had ever thought possible. He tightened his fingers in her hair, trying to pull her even closer to him. He shifted slightly, and Calleigh couldn't help but moan lightly into his mouth as she felt his arousal caught between their bodies. Just the feel of that sent a shiver racing to the deepest parts of her.
Suddenly, the reality of the situation dawned on Calleigh; the line they were about to cross with each other. They'd already teased the boundary, but now they were about to jump headfirst over that line. And oh, she wanted to; she'd wanted to for years. Calleigh had spent so long daydreaming about this, but now that it was actually upon her, it brought with it a sense of fear. What if they crossed this line, and it turned out to be a mistake? What if, instead of bringing them closer, this only made things awkward between them? Her mind had awoken from the initial shock of his kiss, and was now working on overdrive, much to her heart and body's dismay.
"Eric," she mumbled against his lips, his name more of a moan than a protest. Mentally she kicked herself for that; this felt good; too good, but despite how badly she wanted him, she had to know that this wasn't a mistake. She had to know that this was only the beginning, and not just something they were doing because both of them were emotionally damaged today.
Her mind was the only part of her that was crying out against this. Even she couldn't deny the amount of heat quickly gathering in the lower regions of her body; she couldn't deny the fact that this felt too perfect to be wrong. As Eric's tongue teased her own; as his hands migrated to her hips, his thumbs stroking the uncovered patch of skin there, all Calleigh wanted was to silence her mind and give in.
She felt Eric's hands toy with the hem of her top, slowly pushing it upward by mere centimeters, and Calleigh used the last reserves of her strength to break away from his kiss, trying her best to ignore the way he tasted upon her lips as she moistened them with her tongue. "Eric," she tried again, breathless.
Her tiny hands closed over his, stopping him, albeit reluctantly. "Eric." Her eyes locked on their connected hands, the contrasts between them striking her. His dark skin, her pale skin; his large hands, her tiny ones. The contrast was made ever more apparent as he turned his hands, releasing her camisole and enveloping both of her hands in his. The fit was exquisite, and Calleigh's body trembled as she imagined the perfection of her body wrapped snugly in his embrace, or his lips meshing so perfectly with hers as he moved inside her…
The thought brought a rush of moisture to her core, as well a flush to the rest of her body. Suddenly, though her current state of dress was extremely light, she felt as though she were suffocating. She wanted them off; she wanted nothing separating their bodies. She wanted to feel his skin on hers, the lightest sheen of sweat over the both of them. That was what she wanted; what every part of her wanted, but what she needed was to be sure. At this point, she couldn't be sure what she needed to know from Eric, but she needed some kind of confirmation.
With a deep, steadying breath, Calleigh lifted her eyes, immediately falling victim to the darkened, lustful, almost crazy look in Eric's eyes. It sent a deep, delicious shiver racing through every inch of her body, and as her lips parted to once again murmur his name - it was by far the only coherent thought she possessed - she found that all that escaped was a soft, undignified squeak. Her mouth was dry and she could barely breathe; she was dizzy with Eric. Her body was spinning out of control, taking her heart along for the ride and leaving behind only a few vestiges of her mind. She'd thought the adrenaline rush from earlier was beginning to wear off, but apparently she'd been wrong. Her entire body felt overly sensitized; the lightest touches from Eric were enough to send her arousal soaring skyward.
"I was so afraid of losing you today," Eric murmured quietly, and it was all Calleigh could do to keep from shuddering at his tone. "When I saw you walk through that doorway, that bastard with a gun at your back, it was all I could do not to shoot him right there. And then…when he threatened to shoot you…" Eric trailed off, his eyes clearly demonstrating the fierce anger that had coursed through his veins earlier. "I could've killed those guys with my bare hands," he continued in a whisper, almost a growl. "I would've killed anyone with my bare hands for you."
Part Two