Your Biggest Fan - 19/?
Title: Your Biggest Fan
Chapter: 19/?
Fandom: Twilight
By: bythedamned
Rating: NC-17 overall
Chapter Wordcount: 8,330
Genre: AU, Slash
Pairing: Edward/Jasper
Summary: Throughout high school, the shy and over-burdened Edward Masen threw himself into work and raising his baby sister. He's always felt lucky just to be friends with track star Jasper Cullen. Now, he doesn't know if just friends is enough. AH AU Slash.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns, I just play
A/N: Thanks to my awesome beta, elveys_stuff
It was December fifteenth, at two minutes to five, and the Cullen family and I were crowded around Jasper’s computer. Even Rosalie was there, though she hung back like family was a communicable disease.
Jas and Esme had been checking the mail every day for over a week for Cornell’s letter, with absolutely no luck at all. It wasn’t surprising - when had an admissions committee ever been early? - but the point was moot now. Jas was logged into their website with his personal ID, and in just one more minute every early decision candidate would find out if they would be braving the slopes of Ithaca for the next four years.
Esme could barely contain herself. She stood beside Jasper’s chair with both arms wrapped around his shoulders, watching the screen anxiously and asking if he could hit the button again. I stood on his other side while Carlisle peered directly over his head. Jas, for his part, sat in his desk chair like he was waiting for any old site to load, except that his hand hadn’t left the mouse since he sat down.
We all stared at the unassuming time stamp in the corner of his screen, and the moment the clock hit five-zero-zero Esme patted his arm urgently.
“Now, honey.”
He obliged, clicking the pointer that was already poised over Refresh and…
Nothing. Same old standby message.
After several more fruitless clicks the page paused on a blank white page, taunting us, and I heard Esme suck in a deep breath.
Slowly, a picture of the campus faded onto the screen and then, with cheesy flash animation effects, a large cursive script scrolled across it reading: Congratulations!
That was all we needed. Esme threw her arms up, squealing in that way girls do even though she was a grown woman, and Carlisle shook Jasper’s shoulders heartily. Jasper, for his part, sat completely still and instantly flashed his bright blue eyes up to mine.
I recognized his neutral face, the one he wore when he deliberately held back, but I was delighted to watch as the caution and shock gradually slipped away. I beamed down at him, my smart, motivated and beautifully excited Jas, and caught just a glimpse of his matching smile before he was pulled up into one of Esme’s bear hugs.
She was going on in his ear about how she knew he’d get in and how happy she was, and Carlisle put an arm around each of them, pulling them against his chest to say how proud he was.
It was amazingly heartwarming, being privy to all this unrestrained happiness and familial love, and I couldn’t remain unaffected by it. My chest swelled with pride and affection, and once again I couldn’t believe I was lucky enough to be dating someone so talented and sweet and who, more than anyone I knew, deserved this kind of good fortune.
As the congratulations went on, though, I couldn’t help but feel a little removed from it all. Not because it was impossible to squeeze past Esme to hug him myself - I would have plenty of time for that later, when I could congratulate him in far more intimate and pleasurable ways - but because when I watched the Cullens, I knew this could have been a day in the life of the Masens.
If Mom had never gotten sick, if Dad had never withdrawn into a bottle, if Ali never had to feel scared… that could have been us. Mom would have been obnoxiously enthusiastic about my college apps and Dad, the way he used to be, would have helped me edit them all. And when my own admissions letters came in, Mom would have smothered me with all her ecstatic hugging. The Cullens and the Masens would have been to identically happy families. It was too late for all those ‘if’s though.
That knowledge panged somewhere deep inside, but didn’t have time to fully resonate because Carlisle reached out a hand to grab my attention. He grinned at me over Esme’s head and thumped me heartily on the back.
“Now we’re just waiting on you, Edward.”
I mustered up a smile, grateful that if I couldn’t have my own family, at least I could share the comfort and warmth of Jasper’s.
“And next year,” Carlisle continued, turning around, “Rosie-”
But all we could see of Rosalie was her platinum ponytail walking out the door.
Carlisle signaled Esme, who quickly followed after her, but he refused to let the mood drop. “I’m grilling steak tonight.”
“Steak,” Jas exclaimed, sounding more like he’d been offered candy than slabs of beef, and Carlisle chuckled.
“I had a feeling we’d want something special.” Then, giving Jasper one last shoulder-squeeze, he added, “Dinner’s in an hour.”
I nodded, not caring about food at all and focusing, instead, on Jas’s exuberant smile. I didn’t get the chance to say anything, though, because we could hear Esme’s voice from the hallway.
“I’m sure your brother won’t mind.” She stuck her head into the room. “Jas, Emmett’s going to join us for dinner, okay?”
I wondered if Jas actually did mind, because this was his good news and inviting Emmett was just Rosalie’s way to pretend nothing had happened, but he just nodded.
Esme pulled herself back out into the hall, and I flung an arm out to casually slap against the door. Behind me, I heard the door creak mostly closed, but not all the way.
I raised my other arm too, eager to wrap them both around Jasper’s neck and congratulate him with my kisses, but I hadn’t even reached him when the door whooshed open again.
“Door open, boys,” Esme reminded us.
I smiled tightly.
“Carlisle’s about to start the steaks. Edward, could you do the table?”
“Sure, I’ll be there in just a sec.”
“Great, thanks.”
I turned back to Jas, defeated. “Geez,” I said, rolling my eyes and grinning. “God forbid we get a moment alone.”
He nodded with only the hint of a devious smile. “Who knows what trouble we could get into.”
I placed my hands only lightly on Jas’s shoulders and, with each step I took, I nudged him further backwards with my toes. He let me get a few steps in, slowly coercing him to the section of the room that wasn’t visible from the half-open door, before he grabbed my waist and pulled me the rest of the way. I practically fell into him, but didn’t mind enough to even straighten myself back up.
I heard my voice take on a rougher quality as I asked, whispering, “I dunno, what kind of trouble did you have in mind?”
His fingers gripped my hips, and I felt him inhale deeply before he pressed forward to kiss me. His mouth was warm, and wet, and I pushed my tongue against his eagerly. He slid open-mouthed kisses under my chin and whispered, “I’m sure we could come up with something really devastating.”
The way he paused and enunciated that last word, like he was already lost in a world of lewd thoughts, made my entire body tense with anticipation. Some parts more than others, of course.
The universe absolutely refused to let us have a moment alone, though, because just a second later I heard more footsteps in the hall, and I just knew they’d be Esme or Carlisle coming to get me.
I grabbed Jas’s face in my hands and gave him a firm, lingering kiss. It wasn’t nearly enough, but it would have to do. “Until later, when I can congratulate you properly,” I said, trying to look as devious as he sounded.
“Mmm,” he kissed me again, but smiled through it. “I can’t wait.”
I had to readjust my pants before pulling the door completely open and headed to the kitchen with Carlisle, who’d come to warn me to set salad plates with dinner.
Carlisle hummed as he brought piles of meat out to the grill and Esme was off in a happy daydream while she tossed the salad. Even Emmett was in a good mood when he showed up, joking about how Jasper must be really smart if they let him in four months early.
However, no one’s smile could even hope to outmatch Jasper’s.
His dimples were out in full effect, and he was quietly but steadily beaming as he piled mashed potatoes on his plate. As always, a happy Jas meant a playful Jas, and soon enough he was sculpting a drawbridge and turrets into his potatoes. He even got so far as sticking a celery stalk into mine - the spire of my own edible castle, I assumed - before Carlisle cleared his throat.
“I’m pretty sure college students don’t play with their food, Jasper.” He was biting back a grin as he said it, so Jas’s glow didn’t fade. I was, however, forced to sculpt my own castle from then on.
Emmett and I eventually got pulled into a conversation with Esme about our own college choices and it wasn’t until I mentioned my own app to Cornell that Rosalie finally spoke up.
Her hand hovered over her fork and her eyes were fixed angrily on me. That intense blue that made Jasper’s eyes seem so passionate just made her look even colder.
“I thought you were set on Princeton.” The way she said it made it sound like an accusation.
I paused before I answered, especially since Rosalie and I so rarely ever spoke directly.
“I’m allowed to change my mind,” I said evenly.
Her eyes widened, slowly, and then her nose wrinkled up. “Oh my god. You’re following my brother to college, aren’t you?”
Carlisle said her name warningly, and Emmett turned to her, whispering, “Babe,” but she never stopped glaring at me.
I glared right back. I already felt weird about following Jas to school instead of being as independent as I’d planned, but there was no way in hell I would apologize to her.
“No-” she started again, and was cut off by Esme patting her hand and shushing her.
“Not tonight, honey.”
Rosalie pursed her lips and stared at her lap, looking very much like a kid who was holding in a tantrum, or tears. In a quiet, girlish voice she asked, “May I be excused,” but didn’t wait for an answer.
It was exactly like it always was. Rosalie caused a scene, Carlisle was annoyed and Esme was concerned, and then Rosalie rushed to her room. This time, though, Emmett was left looking awkwardly at Carlisle, who waved him out of the kitchen before he even had to ask.
Dinner degenerated from there, of course, because no one could ruin a mood like Rosalie. Jasper and Esme quickly sequestered themselves to talk, and I started to clear the table. I was just finishing up when Carlisle came in from scraping the grill.
“Edward,” he said casually, and motioning back to the table. “Could we talk for a moment?” He was giving me that unpleasant-business smile he had perfected for his patients.
“Sure,” I said, and hesitantly pulled out a chair.
“Esme and I were hoping you could cut Rosalie some slack.”
“I haven’t-”
“I know,” he said calmly, holding up a hand. “And we’re going to have the same talk with her. But the family’s going to be spending more time together over the holiday, especially in New York, and we just want everyone to try to get along.”
“Fine,” I said, a little sulkily, and settled back in my chair. I didn’t see how I could do anything differently.
“Have you thought about telling her what’s going on with you and Jasper?”
That was the last thing in the world I wanted to do. “Wouldn’t that ruin any chance of us getting along over Christmas?”
He let out a long sigh, and rested back in his own chair. The professionalism was gone, and suddenly he looked a lot more like just a tired father. “Maybe. I’m not sure.”
I avoided his eyes, staring instead to his left at a rooster-shaped clock that Esme adored. The kitchen was silent except for its ticking as we both pondered our own thoughts.
Eventually, he patted a flat palm on the tabletop. “We’ll just all do the best we can, alright?”
“Sure.”
I had already finished all my homework and changed for bed by the time I heard Esme go upstairs, and I found Jasper sitting on the edge of his bed. He was still fully dressed.
“Long talk?”
He looked up at me, startled, and a sleepy smile spread across his face. It was just enough to show off one of his dimples. He reached out for me, and when I got close enough he slipped a hand behind my neck and pulled me down for a kiss. Then he scooted backwards and patted the open space in front of him.
I turned and sat myself between his knees, and he snaked his arms across my bare chest.
“Mom asked where I got the flower,” he said, hooking his chin over my shoulder, and I craned my neck to place a sloppy kiss on his cheek. From the corner of my eye I could see the lily displayed on his dresser. It was just beginning to wilt, but over all still looked pretty good.
“And?” I mumbled into his skin.
“And guess what she called us?”
I groaned playfully. “She did not call us cute.”
“No, worse. Remember when Emmett starting coming over?”
I groaned again, but in sympathy. “Oh god, that was awful.” Esme had called Emmett adorable - to his face, no less - until Rosalie made her stop. “Remember the fuss she made when he gave Rosalie his letterman jacket?”
“Ugh,” he agreed, bumping against my back with his silent laughing. “I think that’s just her word. It probably means something else in mom-speak.”
I agreed, and leaned back into him as his laughter slowly faded.
“We talked about Rose, too,” he added, soberly.
“Yeah, your dad brought it up. He wants everyone to be on their best behavior.”
“I really want to tell her, Edward,” he said softly into my ear. “Maybe if she just knew why we’re always together, and applying to the same school…”
I shook my head slowly. “I don’t think so, Jas. She already hates that we’re friends, I don’t see how it would help if she knew we were more than that.”
“But it should,” he insisted. “I want her to like my boyfriend. I’m tired of crappy family dinners and I’m tired of having to hide in my own house.”
His arms were tightening around me, tensing, and I shifted one of my legs across his so I could turn to look at him easily. He didn’t let go of me, though, and I rubbed a hand up and down his arm. It was a gesture I’d learned from him.
It didn’t help, though, ‘cause he wasn’t worked up. Just disappointed. “I want it to be how it used to, when she was really my sister. I wish you knew her then. We used to get along really well, and she was only ever cranky when she was upset about something.”
I wasn’t sure about this other side of Rosalie because I’d never seen it, but the fact remained that these days she was a nightmare. “Jas,” I said softly, “I don’t trust her not to tell anyone.”
“I do.”
“How?”
His sad eyes watched me intensely. “Because we already do. Rose knows that your dad’s AWOL, and that Chief Swan is getting custody of Alice, but there haven’t been any more rumors at school than usual. Edward,” he said, reaching up to take my hand in his, “she never told anyone about that first night you stayed over, when we took you to the hos-”
“Okay,” I said, putting my free hand on his chest to stop him. He’d made his point. And, as much as I hated to admit it, it was a valid one. I’d obviously never talked to Rosalie about any of that stuff myself, but she had to know. And he was right, there were still a lot of things that no one outside this house knew. “Okay,” I said again, and his eyebrows unfurrowed just a bit. “But your parents want us to all get along for Christmas, and I still think she’ll make a fuss.”
“Fine. After Christmas, then.”
I sighed silently, still not any happier about the idea of letting Rosalie in on our secret. But I didn’t think I could dissuade Jasper forever, and as long as she didn’t go blabbing about it, it wasn’t like we weren’t dealing with her shitty moods already.
I was tired of thinking about her though, and used Jasper’s shoulder to push myself up. “Come on,” I said, “come get ready for bed.”
I held out a hand to help him up too, but instead he slid to the edge of the bed and pulled me down onto him. I didn’t bother to protest, straddling his hips and letting my weight sink down so that even though he was still in jeans he could feel my weight pressing down on the most sensitive parts of his lap. He tilted his head up to kiss me, and I pressed my bare chest against his thin shirt eagerly. Slowly, he dropped his hands to my butt, one hand on each cheek, and I could feel the tips of his fingers tracing along my crack.
Then, without warning, Jas leaned forward and pushed himself up off the bed. He still had one hand under my ass, but I wrapped my arms and legs tightly around him as he stood up.
“What are you doing?” I asked uncertainly.
His grin was smug. “Getting ready for bed. And you’re coming with me.”
As long as he didn’t drop me, he could carry me anywhere. I kissed him some more while he guided us into the bathroom, where he put me down on the counter. The tile was cold under my butt and I squirmed as he went about his nightly routine. I handed him a facecloth when he washed his face and recapped his toothpaste when he left it by the side of the sink, but my thoughts were preoccupied by what was yet to come. It had been a couple days since we’d fooled around - not that long but, still, I wanted the night to be memorable. I wanted to touch and excite him, to tease him into oblivion before I finally coaxed him into a long, shuddering orgasm. He deserved it.
As he flicked the water off his eyes darted over to me, and then quickly down to my crotch and back again. I looked down too, only half surprised to find that my grey cotton boxers were noticeably, though not completely, tented. Jas placed a finger against my leg, lightly tracing just below the hem of my boxers until he reached the sensitive skin of my inner thigh.
He was the picture of innocence as he asked, “So, what’s on your mind?”
I nearly snorted. He knew damn well what I was thinking about, but it seemed like despite the conversation we’d just had he was still feeling playful. That just made me even more excited. Jas was my favorite person to play with.
“Me? Not a thing.” I nodded to my eager little soldier. “He’s got a mind of his own, though.”
The edge of his smile quirked up, but it wasn’t just smug or lustful, it was… amused?
“He?”
“Come on,” I said hopefully, “don’t you sort of think of yours as a he?”
He thought for a moment. “I guess, sort of. But it’s not like I gave it a name or anything.”
Aw, shit. Don’t ask, I begged silently. Don’t ask.
He moved himself directly between my knees and was obviously fighting back a grin at my expense. “Edward,” he started slowly, “Did you name yours?”
I swear, I must be dating the most infuriatingly perceptive person alive.
“Jas,” I said, with maybe a whine in my voice. Just a little one. “Can we please not have another embarrassing bathroom talk about my penis?” Not only was it embarrassing, but I was starting to lose wood.
He couldn’t be dissuaded, though, and the glint in his eye was no less amused or predatory. “We won’t. Right after you tell me its name.”
I sighed in defeat and stared past him at the fluffy blue towels by the shower as I mumbled, “Private Masen.”
I had to give him credit for not laughing.
“Why that?”
“’Cause he’s always, well, saluting…” you, I didn’t add.
His lips twitched again because, yes, it was kind of funny. But his thumbs dug gently into my thighs, and he had the glint of an idea in his eyes.
“So, I’m like your commanding officer then?”
I nodded. It sounded so much worse when he spelled it out like that, but yes. That was the general idea.
“So, like, Sergeant Cullen?”
The truth was, I had already thought of a name for him too, and I shook my head. I thought it would have been obvious.
“Lieutenant?”
It was my turn to smirk up at him. “Come on, Jas. There’s a theme here.” I knew it was juvenile but, really, we were naming our penises. There was only one name left that would fit, and I saw the recognition cross his face when he found it.
His hands slid higher, dipping under cotton and reaching even more tender skin, and his voice was just barely strained. “Major Cullen.”
Bingo.
I swear I felt his eyes rake down my body, slowly, brazenly, and I had to actively stop myself from pushing forward when his fingertips reached the crease between my thighs and my body. I looked down to see his hands moving under the fabric, but instead of reaching out for my little guy, he dragged a thumb lower, teasing that miraculous inch of skin below my sack.
“Alright then, Private” he said roughly, letting the words roll around in his mouth as he said them, “At attention.” And then his thumb pressed up, hard.
It was shocking, that pressure that sent a rush of pleasure through my legs and my dick and my ass, but not unwelcome. My whole body clenched - even my teeth as I let out a low groan - and I watched as my erection responded, pushing farther out against my thin boxers, and leaking a small drop that spread in a dark circle through the cotton.
Jesus, that’s one way to follow a command. Already incredibly excited by his near-fondling, I met his eyes yet again and whispered, “Yes, sir.”
I had just a moment to take him in, open-mouthed with lust-blown pupils, before he thrust himself forward and clasped his lips over mine. We had completely skipped any soft or gentle part of the night, and he pushed his tongue into my mouth insistently. My heels dug into his ass, pushing him closer as I tried to rock my hips forward to meet his.
I swear, I loved having a tall boyfriend. As his hands shifted to my ass to pull me to the edge of the counter, he was at the perfect height to slide his hard dick against mine.
He was still dressed, though, and that had to change. I grabbed at the edge of his shirt, dragging it up and across both our faces because he refused to stop kissing me. Then I made quick work of his button and fly, wrapping my feet around his thighs so I could drag his jeans out of our way. Next I shoved my hands into his boxer briefs, pushing them down and wrapping my hands around his firm ass. He groaned into my mouth, tugging at my boxers too, but they were stuck between my ass and the counter.
Bringing my arms up to his neck I pulled myself more tightly around him and demanded breathily, “Bed.”
He hoisted me up by my ass, and I fumbled one hand over to the door as he took us back to the bedroom. As soon as we got to the edge of the bed he dropped his hands and, with my legs still around his, I let my body fall back onto the bed. He yanked on my boxers and I finally let my legs slip down as he pulled them completely off.
Then he was on top of me in my absolute favorite way - naked and hard - and I held his hips firmly as I thrust up against him. He was panting loudly in my ear, letting out a long, continuous moan, and digging his fingers into my arms.
I could feel his straining shaft dragging against mine, grinding against the head, and spreading the precum around with a slick, delicious feeling. I had rarely seen Jas go from zero to sixty so fast, but I was right there with him. And when he started his sexy mumbling it just made me even hotter.
So much for teasing.
“God yes. Harder. Touch me. Yes-”
The pitch of his soft cry changed, and I knew he was close. Too close. I didn’t want to just dry hump the night away, I wanted to give him something new.
“Jas.” I gripped his hips and stilled them. “Jas,” I said again. He left his face buried against my neck and groaned. “I want to try something.”
He lifted his head, looking both disgruntled and curious. The lights were on, which was rare for our nighttime activities, and I took the opportunity to take in as much of him as I could. He was flushed, the hair at his temples already wet and his cheeks pink. His arms were flexed on either side of me to hold himself up, lean but bulging, and his broad shoulders blocked my view of everything else. I could still feel the strength of him though, taut and muscular, with one thigh wedged enticingly between mine.
“Do you want to flip around?” I asked quietly, circling my finger in the air.
His eyebrows shot up, but I could tell he wanted to.
“Yeah?”
I tugged on his arm, and he started to push himself off me. We were both sweaty, stuck together, and the cool air of the room was a shock. Cautiously, he maneuvered until his knees were next to my head and then lifted one leg over my face. It was an entirely new angle.
Hello Jasper’s balls.
I ran my palms up the inside of his thighs, and he scooted back to align himself. Then he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the bed and his hands on my own thighs, and slowly lowered himself into my open mouth.
I closed my lips around the head, sucking and caressing with my tongue, and let him slide further into my mouth. It wasn’t long, though, before we hit a roadblock of sorts. That…
That wasn’t going to work. I mean, I was trying, but I just wasn’t that talented. In that position it was harder to breathe, and I could hardly take in half of him without choking. He realized it, and carefully slipped back out.
There had to be some way to make this work, if only I could move my neck more…
“Maybe…” Jas mumbled, and then he rolled off me. As he did he gave my hip a tug, and I started to get the idea.
Okay, operation sixty nine, try two.
With both of us on our sides, it was a lot easier. I pushed his thigh out of the way and went to work, sucking the head of his dick into my mouth and swirling my tongue around it. He was quickly back to breathing heavily, and was leaving soft, open-mouthed kisses under my shaft and tonguing along the vein there. It felt fantastic, but I was straining to be deeper in his mouth, for him to stop taunting me and give me the pressure I was craving.
Instead though, I focused on him. I let one hand fondle his sack while I slid my lips down and back up, sucking all the while, bobbing my head in time with his heavy breathing.
It was different, being upside down, since none of my usual tricks had quite the same effect. There was one thing I’d been working on, though. I took a deep breath through my nose and slowly engulfed most of his length. As I rubbed my tongue against it, I could feel the subtle vibration of his soft moans teasing me even more.
When I got as far as I could go, almost all the way, Jas let out a deep, rumbling groan that I felt from my balls to the sticky tip of my dick. With another steady breath, I managed to swallow around him. I’m sure it would have been a lot more effective if I could really get all of him down, but it got the job done.
“Oh fuck, Edward,” he groaned.
I bobbed deep a couple more times just to hear that sexy sound again.
With that, Jas was finally done teasing me, and was tonguing my head with strong, quick sucks that concentrated every nerve ending in my body to what was holding in his mouth. He heightened that even further by dragging his fingers through the wetness and caressing my sack and that sensitive stretch behind it. Jas’s mouth and fingers were both hot, slick and working wonders, and I could feel my balls tightening as I wished the feeling would never end.
He let one finger drift further, tracing along my crack and circling my hole. He had been doing that more often lately, and I had gotten used to the extra sensation.
Except then he did something I wasn’t used to at all.
He pressed harder, popping the tip of one finger into my puckered skin, and I tensed. He held my hip with one hand, rubbing tight circles with his thumb, and continued his assault of pleasure on my dick. This new move made me nervous, and it took me a few moments while Jasper stilled, but I finally willed myself to relax. He and I had been exploring each other’s bodies for months, and I knew he was just trying to make me feel good. I didn’t think he would push it in too far.
Until he did. I did my best to keep pumping my mouth along his thick erection while he wiggled his finger farther into me.
It was strange, feeling the hot pleasure from his mouth overlap with the tingling from his finger. It was foreign, and not entirely good, but not bad either. That is, until he curled his long finger.
I sputtered, pulling back and gasping. “What-?”
He slid off me with a slurping sound and looked up to study me with rapt attention. “Good?”
I nodded, breathless, so he did it again and my hips jerked forward on their own.
He grinned, and I knew I was at his complete mercy. Sliding his lips back over my flared tip, he started to suck me in earnest, all the while probing with his finger. I felt overwhelmed, like my orgasm was being forced from me - pushed from one end, sucked from the other - and I was so lightheaded I couldn’t even focus on Jas anymore. I seemed to be leaking an endless supply of precum into his mouth, and I could even feel his tongue darting into my slit to wipe it away until, finally, it was too much to take.
My hips thrust one last time and I shot my load into his mouth. My eruption lasted ages, and I buried my face in the flesh of Jasper’s thigh to muffle my cry.
After only a moment he pulled his leg from under me and crawled up the bed, trailing a hand across my chest and kissing me eagerly. I thought, again, that I really liked having the lights on because I got to see him like his. He was happy and flushed, beaming a crooked smile down at me, and so completely horny. His dick was a deep red, shiny with spit, and jutting out seductively.
“You’re so sexy when you come,” he whispered against my lips, and I moaned into his mouth.
“So are you,” I whispered back. And that was something I wanted to see, ASAP.
I had to take a few moments to catch my breath, but soon I pushed his compliant body onto his back and slid myself down to drag my tongue up the underside of his erection. I left my hands on his chest though, ghosting across his nipples, until his entire body was squirming. Then I dragged my blunt nails down to his thighs, rubbing them firmly and trailing my thumbs to below his sack.
I couldn’t tell what he was saying, but I could hear that he was muttering again, and that was always a good sign. I licked my way down to his balls, taking them into my mouth one at a time and sucking them leisurely in a way I knew drove him crazy.
“God,” he moaned, “yes. Just like that.”
I couldn’t leave his dick unattended though, so I circled one hand around it, pumping it slowly and swiping a finger over the slick tip.
Then I switched, handling his balls and taking as much of his rigid shaft into my mouth as I could, just like before.
He moaned again, bucking his hips up, and I had just dipped my finger lower towards the not-quite-so-foreign territory when I felt his thigh trembling. I glanced up to see that his arms were flung out and taut, digging his fingers into the bedspread, and I was willing to bet his eyes were clenched shut.
It was a beautiful sight, seeing my strong, confident boyfriend on the verge of his release, and I wanted to keep him there. That didn’t last long enough though, because soon enough both legs were shaking, and his high moans had lost any coherence.
Next, I pulled out one of my favorite moves, flicking my tongue rapidly just under the ridge of the head, before swiping it firmly around the whole thing.
He thrust up hard, tensing his hips in mid air, and pulled madly at the comforter while he came. He was biting back his moan, but instead let out stifled whimpers, while I caught jet after jet of his thick spunk.
He was still shaking when his hips fell back to the bed, and I sat between his legs and ran my hands over them soothingly.
After a few minutes he motioned for me to crawl up to him, and we both slipped under the covers. He held out an arm so I could press myself against his warm body, and I rested my head on his shoulder. He was still breathing heavily, and I felt the rapid but even beating of his heart as he curled his arm around me.
“That was awesome,” he said with a sated sigh, and I grinned.
“Definitely. I had to congratulate you properly.”
“Well, damn. Then I should get into college more often.”
I laughed, and then settled myself against his shoulder again, still feeling warm and tingly all over. My mind was stuck on the part of the night that was new, the part that kind of weirded me out but felt so damn good.
So that’s the prostate.
I decided not to say anything, though, and just enjoyed being so wrapped up in him.
“I like this,” I said softly.
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“No. I mean, this.” I stretched my arm across his chest. “Curling up in bed, falling asleep.”
“We can do it every night, once we get to college.”
I hoped so. “But, what if I don’t get in?”
“You will.”
“But-”
“Edward.” He craned his neck to plant a kiss on my forehead. “You will.”
“Alright,” I muttered. “If you say so.”
He wrapped his arm tighter around me, pulling me up so that I was lying across him, and I tried to match my breathing to the steadying rise and fall of his chest. It had a lulling rhythm, and soon enough it was nearly impossible to keep my eyes open.
“I’m sleepy,” I whined, because that meant I was supposed to head back to my own room.
“Oh no,” he sing-songed quietly, and then yawned himself. “As much as I hate to say it, I think Mom’ll be coming in bright and early.”
“I guess I should find my underwear before I go, then.”
His chest bobbed with a quiet snicker. “Probably.”
“Alright,” I said, yawning too, “I’m going.” But he was trailing his fingertips across my back, and I didn’t even pretend to move.
His hand rubbed lower, and left a light smack on my butt. “On your feet, Private.”
I tilted my head up to see him, and we were both grinning.
“You like that, huh?”
His smile grew adorably lopsided. “I like how you react to me.”
That was impossible to deny. Just remembering how he commanded my body made me want to go for round two. I pushed myself higher up his chest so that I could meet his lips, saying, “Always.” I kissed him soundly once and then, just for kicks, pulled back to add, “Major.”
He kissed me back eagerly, and we spent the next few minutes kissing softly and sweetly like we hadn’t done earlier.
I trailed my fingers through his damp hair, all curly from exertion, and pushed it back from his face. We were watching each other from across the tiny gap between our noses, and all I could see were his sleepy eyes, blinking up at me happily.
“I love you,” he whispered, curling his arms all the way around me tightly.
“I love you too.”
Jasper’s embrace was too warm and comfortable, and I didn’t actually roll myself out of bed until he could barely talk for yawning so much. He planted a sloppy, affectionate kiss on my lips before he let me leave, and I slipped on my boxers and switched off the light as I padded my way into the hall.
When I opened my door early the next morning to head for the bathroom, Esme’s voice could be heard clearly from Jasper’s room. Having an overly perceptive boyfriend had some perks, it seemed, like knowing how to avoid getting busted by his parents.
That day Jasper shared his good news with the guys at lunch, where Tyler professed his jealousy and Mike congratulated him. Eric, who hadn’t even taken his SATs, couldn’t have cared less.
The day passed quickly, and then we only had two more days ‘til winter break. I couldn’t wait. Even besides Jasper’s good news, it had been a great week so far. All the teacher had given up on getting our attention, Ali had been going out of her way to say hi and Jessica, thankfully, had not.
In fact, I hadn’t even talked to her to her since Saturday when I high-tailed it out of the auditorium. At first I thought she’d just had some cheer thing, since I’d seen those yellow ribbons in a bunch of girls’ hair on Monday, but she had been avoiding me in English class too. As far as I was concerned nothing needed to change, and I just hoped I could make it to the weekend without having some awkward conversation with her.
I made it all the way through Thursday without incident but unfortunately, as I was rushing to English on Friday, I ran into her. Literally. She had still been stuffing things from her last class into her open backpack, and when I barreled into her I sent most of her books and binders flying.
I managed to catch her by the arms so she didn’t go sprawling down the hallway too, and after she’d righted herself I leaned down to pick up her books.
“You don’t have to do that,” she mumbled, reaching for the same book.
“No, it’s okay,” I answered quickly, grabbing it and handing it to her. “I’m really sorry, I just didn’t see you at all.”
I moved further down the hall, picking up a binder and pencil case, and carried it back to her.
She was eying me speculatively, and I paused with her stuff held out. “What?”
She shook her head, letting her long curls cover her face. “Nothing, it’s stupid.”
I was content to let it go at that, but she still didn’t take her things.
“Edward, why are you being so nice?”
Umm. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. You were …” She finally looked back up at me, looking sadly determined. “You were sorta mean on Saturday.”
I sighed heavily. This was definitely the encounter I was hoping to avoid.
“Look,” I sighed again. “I’m sorry, I just…”
She was watching me so attentively, hanging on my words and just waiting for some good reason for me to be an ass, but I didn’t have one. I had refused to talk to her when she had put herself on the line, but I didn’t have an excuse to give her. The truth was that I just didn’t care. Hers weren’t the feelings I was concerned about that night. In fact, they still weren’t my priority, so I couldn’t think of anything to say.
Soon enough, she realized I didn’t have an answer for her, and turned away. “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed.” She shook her head again, purposely not looking at me, and started grabbing the rest of her stuff haphazardly. I kind of wished she would blame me, that she would get pissed off and chew me out. I could deal with angry and pushy and loud. It was this quietly-dejected thing that put me out of my element.
Jessica grabbed the last of her papers before standing up and looking me straight in the eye. Even determined, she was still obviously upset. It occurred to me then that maybe she’d tried to hold my hand because she actually did like me. Maybe. I mean, she had always gone out of her way to be friendly. That’s why I even dared to speak up in the first place.
“Jessica-” I started.
She stared up at me with these huge, resigned brown eyes. “No, Edward. I get it. I thought that maybe - I mean, I know you’re shy.”
I almost cringed. I had been so much better off never talking to girls. “I was just trying to be nice,” I offered, apologetically.
“Nice guys don’t lead people on.”
Then, clutching her belongings to her chest, she marched into English class.
And I felt like the biggest asshole in the world.
I told Jas quietly while we walked to lunch, and now that everything had been settled he was sympathetic towards her. He still agreed it was for the best, though, and was glad I finally set her straight. His smile was subdued and understanding, but also grateful.
I had no intention of telling the rest of the guys, but by the time we were all waiting for Coach Clapp in the gym it became obvious that they’d all heard the day’s gossip. Tyler ribbed me in the side, giving me shit for breaking another heart, while Eric wondered aloud if he could be her rebound guy.
Ty snorted. “’Cause that worked out so well with Bella.”
Eric sighed glumly. “Yeah.”
“I heard she’s dating a wolf now,” Mike added, and they all looked to me for confirmation.
Jas and I both nodded. Unfortunately, it was true. Ali had given me occasional updates, and Bella had actually gushed to Jasper about it. Supposedly, she was really happy, and Black was ‘really sweet, once you got to know him.’ I was still skeptical, because the Black I’d met couldn’t sweet talk a bowl of sugar, but we’d both been assured that he was totally smitten with her and we had nothing to worry about.
Jas and I had still agreed that we would defend her honor if he even put one toe out of line.
Eric and Tyler continued to debate who had a better shot with Jessica, which was ridiculous because both of them were self-proclaimed players who never got any beside the occasional summer camp hook up, and even those may or may not have been fictional. The only one I thought might actually have a chance with Jessica was Mike, basically by virtue of not being Eric or Ty, but he threw his hands up and insisted he had no interest whatsoever. Somehow, the whole thing turned into a debate over who was more heartbroken which just made me uncomfortable, but it did make me think.
I hadn’t meant to hurt Jessica, obviously, but Bella even less so. And I didn’t really care if I ever got back into Jessica’s good graces, but Bella was different. We had history - I’d thought we had a real friendship. And that wasn’t something I had too many of.
I brought this all up to Jas after all the guys went out for pizza to celebrate the start of winter breaks, and he seemed pretty confident that Bella wasn’t upset anymore.
“She just feels awkward, you know? She thinks she should have known.”
I protested. “But I didn’t even know.”
“Yeah, I told her that. I think it helped to have Jacob Black around, actually. She sounds really happy with him,” he added.
I hoped she was, even if it was with him.
Once we wound down into vacation mode it was time to plan our annual Christmas movie marathon, and Jas insisted there was no way Bella would miss that. Alice wanted to know if Seth could come, and we decided that that was fine but Jacob Black was absolutely not invited, and in the end the girls joined us alone.
Alice and I had agreed to do our own celebration after I got back from New York so that I could get her something from the city - or, The City, as Jas insisted it was called over there - so all she had to bring were some of our classic movie picks.
Both girls showed up in their pajamas, as per usual, and we started the afternoon off with none other than Scrooge McDuck. As was to be expected, though, we inevitably fell into a debate about when to watch Nightmare Before Christmas. I said October, Bella said December, Jas said split the difference and Alice said all of them.
In the end we watched it, of course.
Both girls spent a good portion of the day texting their respective boyfriends, and I was happy not to need my phone. It left my hands free for cocoa with candy canes, and playing with the wisps of hair on the back of Jasper’s neck. I didn’t dare try anything like that at first but Rosalie wasn’t home and after a few hours of listening to both girls rattle on about all the cute things their boys had said, I had relaxed quite a bit.
Then, Jas slipped his arm across my shoulders.
Bella stared and I tensed, but Ali broke the moment by saying, “See, I told you. Movies are for cuddling.”
Bella huffed dramatically. “Ali, it was one time. And he had a fever.”
Alice dissolved into a fit of giggles, and Bella rolled her eyes before succumbing to them too.
I turned to Jas with a look that clearly said, ‘Girls, they make no sense,” but he was looking instead at Ali with a curiously appraising expression. He didn’t say anything though, and I relaxed back into his side before turning back to the screen.
It was a very new experience, our not-quite-public display of affection. It was a far cry from cuddling, but it still made one thing very clear: I was with Jas, and he was with me. The strangest thing was how little a difference that made. It seemed like knowing where everyone stood, and that we all had boyfriends we were very happy with, was enough to dispel any awkwardness that might have lingered. The girls still recited all the lines they knew out loud, Jas still snuck bites of my candy cane after he’d finished his own and, for the fourth year in a row, we watched Jack Skellington denounce Christmas in favor of his true, ghoulish nature.
It was definitely an October kind of movie.
Once we all hit our sugar crash I drove Alice and Bella home, and we said our Merry Christmases to Charlie at the door.
After that, there was nothing left to do but pack. I’d had to borrow a suitcase from the Cullens, but they had plenty. I’d reasoned that if I wasn’t going back to my old house for the only thing I really missed - Mom’s picture - I sure as hell wasn’t going back for some beat up suitcase with my Dad’s initials on them.
Packing under Esme’s directions was a flurry, and Carlisle laughed that night when he told us how early we’d all have to wake up. It was obscene. It was inhuman. It was never going to happen. He warned us that he’d be knocking on all our doors at five thirty, and even Esme gave him a grumpy look.
Knowing that didn’t help me fall asleep any faster, either. I willed myself to relax, but I was too excited. In the morning I was going to New York. For Christmas. With my boyfriend.
Chapter 20
Chapter: 19/?
Fandom: Twilight
By: bythedamned
Rating: NC-17 overall
Chapter Wordcount: 8,330
Genre: AU, Slash
Pairing: Edward/Jasper
Summary: Throughout high school, the shy and over-burdened Edward Masen threw himself into work and raising his baby sister. He's always felt lucky just to be friends with track star Jasper Cullen. Now, he doesn't know if just friends is enough. AH AU Slash.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns, I just play
A/N: Thanks to my awesome beta, elveys_stuff
It was December fifteenth, at two minutes to five, and the Cullen family and I were crowded around Jasper’s computer. Even Rosalie was there, though she hung back like family was a communicable disease.
Jas and Esme had been checking the mail every day for over a week for Cornell’s letter, with absolutely no luck at all. It wasn’t surprising - when had an admissions committee ever been early? - but the point was moot now. Jas was logged into their website with his personal ID, and in just one more minute every early decision candidate would find out if they would be braving the slopes of Ithaca for the next four years.
Esme could barely contain herself. She stood beside Jasper’s chair with both arms wrapped around his shoulders, watching the screen anxiously and asking if he could hit the button again. I stood on his other side while Carlisle peered directly over his head. Jas, for his part, sat in his desk chair like he was waiting for any old site to load, except that his hand hadn’t left the mouse since he sat down.
We all stared at the unassuming time stamp in the corner of his screen, and the moment the clock hit five-zero-zero Esme patted his arm urgently.
“Now, honey.”
He obliged, clicking the pointer that was already poised over Refresh and…
Nothing. Same old standby message.
After several more fruitless clicks the page paused on a blank white page, taunting us, and I heard Esme suck in a deep breath.
Slowly, a picture of the campus faded onto the screen and then, with cheesy flash animation effects, a large cursive script scrolled across it reading: Congratulations!
That was all we needed. Esme threw her arms up, squealing in that way girls do even though she was a grown woman, and Carlisle shook Jasper’s shoulders heartily. Jasper, for his part, sat completely still and instantly flashed his bright blue eyes up to mine.
I recognized his neutral face, the one he wore when he deliberately held back, but I was delighted to watch as the caution and shock gradually slipped away. I beamed down at him, my smart, motivated and beautifully excited Jas, and caught just a glimpse of his matching smile before he was pulled up into one of Esme’s bear hugs.
She was going on in his ear about how she knew he’d get in and how happy she was, and Carlisle put an arm around each of them, pulling them against his chest to say how proud he was.
It was amazingly heartwarming, being privy to all this unrestrained happiness and familial love, and I couldn’t remain unaffected by it. My chest swelled with pride and affection, and once again I couldn’t believe I was lucky enough to be dating someone so talented and sweet and who, more than anyone I knew, deserved this kind of good fortune.
As the congratulations went on, though, I couldn’t help but feel a little removed from it all. Not because it was impossible to squeeze past Esme to hug him myself - I would have plenty of time for that later, when I could congratulate him in far more intimate and pleasurable ways - but because when I watched the Cullens, I knew this could have been a day in the life of the Masens.
If Mom had never gotten sick, if Dad had never withdrawn into a bottle, if Ali never had to feel scared… that could have been us. Mom would have been obnoxiously enthusiastic about my college apps and Dad, the way he used to be, would have helped me edit them all. And when my own admissions letters came in, Mom would have smothered me with all her ecstatic hugging. The Cullens and the Masens would have been to identically happy families. It was too late for all those ‘if’s though.
That knowledge panged somewhere deep inside, but didn’t have time to fully resonate because Carlisle reached out a hand to grab my attention. He grinned at me over Esme’s head and thumped me heartily on the back.
“Now we’re just waiting on you, Edward.”
I mustered up a smile, grateful that if I couldn’t have my own family, at least I could share the comfort and warmth of Jasper’s.
“And next year,” Carlisle continued, turning around, “Rosie-”
But all we could see of Rosalie was her platinum ponytail walking out the door.
Carlisle signaled Esme, who quickly followed after her, but he refused to let the mood drop. “I’m grilling steak tonight.”
“Steak,” Jas exclaimed, sounding more like he’d been offered candy than slabs of beef, and Carlisle chuckled.
“I had a feeling we’d want something special.” Then, giving Jasper one last shoulder-squeeze, he added, “Dinner’s in an hour.”
I nodded, not caring about food at all and focusing, instead, on Jas’s exuberant smile. I didn’t get the chance to say anything, though, because we could hear Esme’s voice from the hallway.
“I’m sure your brother won’t mind.” She stuck her head into the room. “Jas, Emmett’s going to join us for dinner, okay?”
I wondered if Jas actually did mind, because this was his good news and inviting Emmett was just Rosalie’s way to pretend nothing had happened, but he just nodded.
Esme pulled herself back out into the hall, and I flung an arm out to casually slap against the door. Behind me, I heard the door creak mostly closed, but not all the way.
I raised my other arm too, eager to wrap them both around Jasper’s neck and congratulate him with my kisses, but I hadn’t even reached him when the door whooshed open again.
“Door open, boys,” Esme reminded us.
I smiled tightly.
“Carlisle’s about to start the steaks. Edward, could you do the table?”
“Sure, I’ll be there in just a sec.”
“Great, thanks.”
I turned back to Jas, defeated. “Geez,” I said, rolling my eyes and grinning. “God forbid we get a moment alone.”
He nodded with only the hint of a devious smile. “Who knows what trouble we could get into.”
I placed my hands only lightly on Jas’s shoulders and, with each step I took, I nudged him further backwards with my toes. He let me get a few steps in, slowly coercing him to the section of the room that wasn’t visible from the half-open door, before he grabbed my waist and pulled me the rest of the way. I practically fell into him, but didn’t mind enough to even straighten myself back up.
I heard my voice take on a rougher quality as I asked, whispering, “I dunno, what kind of trouble did you have in mind?”
His fingers gripped my hips, and I felt him inhale deeply before he pressed forward to kiss me. His mouth was warm, and wet, and I pushed my tongue against his eagerly. He slid open-mouthed kisses under my chin and whispered, “I’m sure we could come up with something really devastating.”
The way he paused and enunciated that last word, like he was already lost in a world of lewd thoughts, made my entire body tense with anticipation. Some parts more than others, of course.
The universe absolutely refused to let us have a moment alone, though, because just a second later I heard more footsteps in the hall, and I just knew they’d be Esme or Carlisle coming to get me.
I grabbed Jas’s face in my hands and gave him a firm, lingering kiss. It wasn’t nearly enough, but it would have to do. “Until later, when I can congratulate you properly,” I said, trying to look as devious as he sounded.
“Mmm,” he kissed me again, but smiled through it. “I can’t wait.”
I had to readjust my pants before pulling the door completely open and headed to the kitchen with Carlisle, who’d come to warn me to set salad plates with dinner.
Carlisle hummed as he brought piles of meat out to the grill and Esme was off in a happy daydream while she tossed the salad. Even Emmett was in a good mood when he showed up, joking about how Jasper must be really smart if they let him in four months early.
However, no one’s smile could even hope to outmatch Jasper’s.
His dimples were out in full effect, and he was quietly but steadily beaming as he piled mashed potatoes on his plate. As always, a happy Jas meant a playful Jas, and soon enough he was sculpting a drawbridge and turrets into his potatoes. He even got so far as sticking a celery stalk into mine - the spire of my own edible castle, I assumed - before Carlisle cleared his throat.
“I’m pretty sure college students don’t play with their food, Jasper.” He was biting back a grin as he said it, so Jas’s glow didn’t fade. I was, however, forced to sculpt my own castle from then on.
Emmett and I eventually got pulled into a conversation with Esme about our own college choices and it wasn’t until I mentioned my own app to Cornell that Rosalie finally spoke up.
Her hand hovered over her fork and her eyes were fixed angrily on me. That intense blue that made Jasper’s eyes seem so passionate just made her look even colder.
“I thought you were set on Princeton.” The way she said it made it sound like an accusation.
I paused before I answered, especially since Rosalie and I so rarely ever spoke directly.
“I’m allowed to change my mind,” I said evenly.
Her eyes widened, slowly, and then her nose wrinkled up. “Oh my god. You’re following my brother to college, aren’t you?”
Carlisle said her name warningly, and Emmett turned to her, whispering, “Babe,” but she never stopped glaring at me.
I glared right back. I already felt weird about following Jas to school instead of being as independent as I’d planned, but there was no way in hell I would apologize to her.
“No-” she started again, and was cut off by Esme patting her hand and shushing her.
“Not tonight, honey.”
Rosalie pursed her lips and stared at her lap, looking very much like a kid who was holding in a tantrum, or tears. In a quiet, girlish voice she asked, “May I be excused,” but didn’t wait for an answer.
It was exactly like it always was. Rosalie caused a scene, Carlisle was annoyed and Esme was concerned, and then Rosalie rushed to her room. This time, though, Emmett was left looking awkwardly at Carlisle, who waved him out of the kitchen before he even had to ask.
Dinner degenerated from there, of course, because no one could ruin a mood like Rosalie. Jasper and Esme quickly sequestered themselves to talk, and I started to clear the table. I was just finishing up when Carlisle came in from scraping the grill.
“Edward,” he said casually, and motioning back to the table. “Could we talk for a moment?” He was giving me that unpleasant-business smile he had perfected for his patients.
“Sure,” I said, and hesitantly pulled out a chair.
“Esme and I were hoping you could cut Rosalie some slack.”
“I haven’t-”
“I know,” he said calmly, holding up a hand. “And we’re going to have the same talk with her. But the family’s going to be spending more time together over the holiday, especially in New York, and we just want everyone to try to get along.”
“Fine,” I said, a little sulkily, and settled back in my chair. I didn’t see how I could do anything differently.
“Have you thought about telling her what’s going on with you and Jasper?”
That was the last thing in the world I wanted to do. “Wouldn’t that ruin any chance of us getting along over Christmas?”
He let out a long sigh, and rested back in his own chair. The professionalism was gone, and suddenly he looked a lot more like just a tired father. “Maybe. I’m not sure.”
I avoided his eyes, staring instead to his left at a rooster-shaped clock that Esme adored. The kitchen was silent except for its ticking as we both pondered our own thoughts.
Eventually, he patted a flat palm on the tabletop. “We’ll just all do the best we can, alright?”
“Sure.”
I had already finished all my homework and changed for bed by the time I heard Esme go upstairs, and I found Jasper sitting on the edge of his bed. He was still fully dressed.
“Long talk?”
He looked up at me, startled, and a sleepy smile spread across his face. It was just enough to show off one of his dimples. He reached out for me, and when I got close enough he slipped a hand behind my neck and pulled me down for a kiss. Then he scooted backwards and patted the open space in front of him.
I turned and sat myself between his knees, and he snaked his arms across my bare chest.
“Mom asked where I got the flower,” he said, hooking his chin over my shoulder, and I craned my neck to place a sloppy kiss on his cheek. From the corner of my eye I could see the lily displayed on his dresser. It was just beginning to wilt, but over all still looked pretty good.
“And?” I mumbled into his skin.
“And guess what she called us?”
I groaned playfully. “She did not call us cute.”
“No, worse. Remember when Emmett starting coming over?”
I groaned again, but in sympathy. “Oh god, that was awful.” Esme had called Emmett adorable - to his face, no less - until Rosalie made her stop. “Remember the fuss she made when he gave Rosalie his letterman jacket?”
“Ugh,” he agreed, bumping against my back with his silent laughing. “I think that’s just her word. It probably means something else in mom-speak.”
I agreed, and leaned back into him as his laughter slowly faded.
“We talked about Rose, too,” he added, soberly.
“Yeah, your dad brought it up. He wants everyone to be on their best behavior.”
“I really want to tell her, Edward,” he said softly into my ear. “Maybe if she just knew why we’re always together, and applying to the same school…”
I shook my head slowly. “I don’t think so, Jas. She already hates that we’re friends, I don’t see how it would help if she knew we were more than that.”
“But it should,” he insisted. “I want her to like my boyfriend. I’m tired of crappy family dinners and I’m tired of having to hide in my own house.”
His arms were tightening around me, tensing, and I shifted one of my legs across his so I could turn to look at him easily. He didn’t let go of me, though, and I rubbed a hand up and down his arm. It was a gesture I’d learned from him.
It didn’t help, though, ‘cause he wasn’t worked up. Just disappointed. “I want it to be how it used to, when she was really my sister. I wish you knew her then. We used to get along really well, and she was only ever cranky when she was upset about something.”
I wasn’t sure about this other side of Rosalie because I’d never seen it, but the fact remained that these days she was a nightmare. “Jas,” I said softly, “I don’t trust her not to tell anyone.”
“I do.”
“How?”
His sad eyes watched me intensely. “Because we already do. Rose knows that your dad’s AWOL, and that Chief Swan is getting custody of Alice, but there haven’t been any more rumors at school than usual. Edward,” he said, reaching up to take my hand in his, “she never told anyone about that first night you stayed over, when we took you to the hos-”
“Okay,” I said, putting my free hand on his chest to stop him. He’d made his point. And, as much as I hated to admit it, it was a valid one. I’d obviously never talked to Rosalie about any of that stuff myself, but she had to know. And he was right, there were still a lot of things that no one outside this house knew. “Okay,” I said again, and his eyebrows unfurrowed just a bit. “But your parents want us to all get along for Christmas, and I still think she’ll make a fuss.”
“Fine. After Christmas, then.”
I sighed silently, still not any happier about the idea of letting Rosalie in on our secret. But I didn’t think I could dissuade Jasper forever, and as long as she didn’t go blabbing about it, it wasn’t like we weren’t dealing with her shitty moods already.
I was tired of thinking about her though, and used Jasper’s shoulder to push myself up. “Come on,” I said, “come get ready for bed.”
I held out a hand to help him up too, but instead he slid to the edge of the bed and pulled me down onto him. I didn’t bother to protest, straddling his hips and letting my weight sink down so that even though he was still in jeans he could feel my weight pressing down on the most sensitive parts of his lap. He tilted his head up to kiss me, and I pressed my bare chest against his thin shirt eagerly. Slowly, he dropped his hands to my butt, one hand on each cheek, and I could feel the tips of his fingers tracing along my crack.
Then, without warning, Jas leaned forward and pushed himself up off the bed. He still had one hand under my ass, but I wrapped my arms and legs tightly around him as he stood up.
“What are you doing?” I asked uncertainly.
His grin was smug. “Getting ready for bed. And you’re coming with me.”
As long as he didn’t drop me, he could carry me anywhere. I kissed him some more while he guided us into the bathroom, where he put me down on the counter. The tile was cold under my butt and I squirmed as he went about his nightly routine. I handed him a facecloth when he washed his face and recapped his toothpaste when he left it by the side of the sink, but my thoughts were preoccupied by what was yet to come. It had been a couple days since we’d fooled around - not that long but, still, I wanted the night to be memorable. I wanted to touch and excite him, to tease him into oblivion before I finally coaxed him into a long, shuddering orgasm. He deserved it.
As he flicked the water off his eyes darted over to me, and then quickly down to my crotch and back again. I looked down too, only half surprised to find that my grey cotton boxers were noticeably, though not completely, tented. Jas placed a finger against my leg, lightly tracing just below the hem of my boxers until he reached the sensitive skin of my inner thigh.
He was the picture of innocence as he asked, “So, what’s on your mind?”
I nearly snorted. He knew damn well what I was thinking about, but it seemed like despite the conversation we’d just had he was still feeling playful. That just made me even more excited. Jas was my favorite person to play with.
“Me? Not a thing.” I nodded to my eager little soldier. “He’s got a mind of his own, though.”
The edge of his smile quirked up, but it wasn’t just smug or lustful, it was… amused?
“He?”
“Come on,” I said hopefully, “don’t you sort of think of yours as a he?”
He thought for a moment. “I guess, sort of. But it’s not like I gave it a name or anything.”
Aw, shit. Don’t ask, I begged silently. Don’t ask.
He moved himself directly between my knees and was obviously fighting back a grin at my expense. “Edward,” he started slowly, “Did you name yours?”
I swear, I must be dating the most infuriatingly perceptive person alive.
“Jas,” I said, with maybe a whine in my voice. Just a little one. “Can we please not have another embarrassing bathroom talk about my penis?” Not only was it embarrassing, but I was starting to lose wood.
He couldn’t be dissuaded, though, and the glint in his eye was no less amused or predatory. “We won’t. Right after you tell me its name.”
I sighed in defeat and stared past him at the fluffy blue towels by the shower as I mumbled, “Private Masen.”
I had to give him credit for not laughing.
“Why that?”
“’Cause he’s always, well, saluting…” you, I didn’t add.
His lips twitched again because, yes, it was kind of funny. But his thumbs dug gently into my thighs, and he had the glint of an idea in his eyes.
“So, I’m like your commanding officer then?”
I nodded. It sounded so much worse when he spelled it out like that, but yes. That was the general idea.
“So, like, Sergeant Cullen?”
The truth was, I had already thought of a name for him too, and I shook my head. I thought it would have been obvious.
“Lieutenant?”
It was my turn to smirk up at him. “Come on, Jas. There’s a theme here.” I knew it was juvenile but, really, we were naming our penises. There was only one name left that would fit, and I saw the recognition cross his face when he found it.
His hands slid higher, dipping under cotton and reaching even more tender skin, and his voice was just barely strained. “Major Cullen.”
Bingo.
I swear I felt his eyes rake down my body, slowly, brazenly, and I had to actively stop myself from pushing forward when his fingertips reached the crease between my thighs and my body. I looked down to see his hands moving under the fabric, but instead of reaching out for my little guy, he dragged a thumb lower, teasing that miraculous inch of skin below my sack.
“Alright then, Private” he said roughly, letting the words roll around in his mouth as he said them, “At attention.” And then his thumb pressed up, hard.
It was shocking, that pressure that sent a rush of pleasure through my legs and my dick and my ass, but not unwelcome. My whole body clenched - even my teeth as I let out a low groan - and I watched as my erection responded, pushing farther out against my thin boxers, and leaking a small drop that spread in a dark circle through the cotton.
Jesus, that’s one way to follow a command. Already incredibly excited by his near-fondling, I met his eyes yet again and whispered, “Yes, sir.”
I had just a moment to take him in, open-mouthed with lust-blown pupils, before he thrust himself forward and clasped his lips over mine. We had completely skipped any soft or gentle part of the night, and he pushed his tongue into my mouth insistently. My heels dug into his ass, pushing him closer as I tried to rock my hips forward to meet his.
I swear, I loved having a tall boyfriend. As his hands shifted to my ass to pull me to the edge of the counter, he was at the perfect height to slide his hard dick against mine.
He was still dressed, though, and that had to change. I grabbed at the edge of his shirt, dragging it up and across both our faces because he refused to stop kissing me. Then I made quick work of his button and fly, wrapping my feet around his thighs so I could drag his jeans out of our way. Next I shoved my hands into his boxer briefs, pushing them down and wrapping my hands around his firm ass. He groaned into my mouth, tugging at my boxers too, but they were stuck between my ass and the counter.
Bringing my arms up to his neck I pulled myself more tightly around him and demanded breathily, “Bed.”
He hoisted me up by my ass, and I fumbled one hand over to the door as he took us back to the bedroom. As soon as we got to the edge of the bed he dropped his hands and, with my legs still around his, I let my body fall back onto the bed. He yanked on my boxers and I finally let my legs slip down as he pulled them completely off.
Then he was on top of me in my absolute favorite way - naked and hard - and I held his hips firmly as I thrust up against him. He was panting loudly in my ear, letting out a long, continuous moan, and digging his fingers into my arms.
I could feel his straining shaft dragging against mine, grinding against the head, and spreading the precum around with a slick, delicious feeling. I had rarely seen Jas go from zero to sixty so fast, but I was right there with him. And when he started his sexy mumbling it just made me even hotter.
So much for teasing.
“God yes. Harder. Touch me. Yes-”
The pitch of his soft cry changed, and I knew he was close. Too close. I didn’t want to just dry hump the night away, I wanted to give him something new.
“Jas.” I gripped his hips and stilled them. “Jas,” I said again. He left his face buried against my neck and groaned. “I want to try something.”
He lifted his head, looking both disgruntled and curious. The lights were on, which was rare for our nighttime activities, and I took the opportunity to take in as much of him as I could. He was flushed, the hair at his temples already wet and his cheeks pink. His arms were flexed on either side of me to hold himself up, lean but bulging, and his broad shoulders blocked my view of everything else. I could still feel the strength of him though, taut and muscular, with one thigh wedged enticingly between mine.
“Do you want to flip around?” I asked quietly, circling my finger in the air.
His eyebrows shot up, but I could tell he wanted to.
“Yeah?”
I tugged on his arm, and he started to push himself off me. We were both sweaty, stuck together, and the cool air of the room was a shock. Cautiously, he maneuvered until his knees were next to my head and then lifted one leg over my face. It was an entirely new angle.
Hello Jasper’s balls.
I ran my palms up the inside of his thighs, and he scooted back to align himself. Then he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the bed and his hands on my own thighs, and slowly lowered himself into my open mouth.
I closed my lips around the head, sucking and caressing with my tongue, and let him slide further into my mouth. It wasn’t long, though, before we hit a roadblock of sorts. That…
That wasn’t going to work. I mean, I was trying, but I just wasn’t that talented. In that position it was harder to breathe, and I could hardly take in half of him without choking. He realized it, and carefully slipped back out.
There had to be some way to make this work, if only I could move my neck more…
“Maybe…” Jas mumbled, and then he rolled off me. As he did he gave my hip a tug, and I started to get the idea.
Okay, operation sixty nine, try two.
With both of us on our sides, it was a lot easier. I pushed his thigh out of the way and went to work, sucking the head of his dick into my mouth and swirling my tongue around it. He was quickly back to breathing heavily, and was leaving soft, open-mouthed kisses under my shaft and tonguing along the vein there. It felt fantastic, but I was straining to be deeper in his mouth, for him to stop taunting me and give me the pressure I was craving.
Instead though, I focused on him. I let one hand fondle his sack while I slid my lips down and back up, sucking all the while, bobbing my head in time with his heavy breathing.
It was different, being upside down, since none of my usual tricks had quite the same effect. There was one thing I’d been working on, though. I took a deep breath through my nose and slowly engulfed most of his length. As I rubbed my tongue against it, I could feel the subtle vibration of his soft moans teasing me even more.
When I got as far as I could go, almost all the way, Jas let out a deep, rumbling groan that I felt from my balls to the sticky tip of my dick. With another steady breath, I managed to swallow around him. I’m sure it would have been a lot more effective if I could really get all of him down, but it got the job done.
“Oh fuck, Edward,” he groaned.
I bobbed deep a couple more times just to hear that sexy sound again.
With that, Jas was finally done teasing me, and was tonguing my head with strong, quick sucks that concentrated every nerve ending in my body to what was holding in his mouth. He heightened that even further by dragging his fingers through the wetness and caressing my sack and that sensitive stretch behind it. Jas’s mouth and fingers were both hot, slick and working wonders, and I could feel my balls tightening as I wished the feeling would never end.
He let one finger drift further, tracing along my crack and circling my hole. He had been doing that more often lately, and I had gotten used to the extra sensation.
Except then he did something I wasn’t used to at all.
He pressed harder, popping the tip of one finger into my puckered skin, and I tensed. He held my hip with one hand, rubbing tight circles with his thumb, and continued his assault of pleasure on my dick. This new move made me nervous, and it took me a few moments while Jasper stilled, but I finally willed myself to relax. He and I had been exploring each other’s bodies for months, and I knew he was just trying to make me feel good. I didn’t think he would push it in too far.
Until he did. I did my best to keep pumping my mouth along his thick erection while he wiggled his finger farther into me.
It was strange, feeling the hot pleasure from his mouth overlap with the tingling from his finger. It was foreign, and not entirely good, but not bad either. That is, until he curled his long finger.
I sputtered, pulling back and gasping. “What-?”
He slid off me with a slurping sound and looked up to study me with rapt attention. “Good?”
I nodded, breathless, so he did it again and my hips jerked forward on their own.
He grinned, and I knew I was at his complete mercy. Sliding his lips back over my flared tip, he started to suck me in earnest, all the while probing with his finger. I felt overwhelmed, like my orgasm was being forced from me - pushed from one end, sucked from the other - and I was so lightheaded I couldn’t even focus on Jas anymore. I seemed to be leaking an endless supply of precum into his mouth, and I could even feel his tongue darting into my slit to wipe it away until, finally, it was too much to take.
My hips thrust one last time and I shot my load into his mouth. My eruption lasted ages, and I buried my face in the flesh of Jasper’s thigh to muffle my cry.
After only a moment he pulled his leg from under me and crawled up the bed, trailing a hand across my chest and kissing me eagerly. I thought, again, that I really liked having the lights on because I got to see him like his. He was happy and flushed, beaming a crooked smile down at me, and so completely horny. His dick was a deep red, shiny with spit, and jutting out seductively.
“You’re so sexy when you come,” he whispered against my lips, and I moaned into his mouth.
“So are you,” I whispered back. And that was something I wanted to see, ASAP.
I had to take a few moments to catch my breath, but soon I pushed his compliant body onto his back and slid myself down to drag my tongue up the underside of his erection. I left my hands on his chest though, ghosting across his nipples, until his entire body was squirming. Then I dragged my blunt nails down to his thighs, rubbing them firmly and trailing my thumbs to below his sack.
I couldn’t tell what he was saying, but I could hear that he was muttering again, and that was always a good sign. I licked my way down to his balls, taking them into my mouth one at a time and sucking them leisurely in a way I knew drove him crazy.
“God,” he moaned, “yes. Just like that.”
I couldn’t leave his dick unattended though, so I circled one hand around it, pumping it slowly and swiping a finger over the slick tip.
Then I switched, handling his balls and taking as much of his rigid shaft into my mouth as I could, just like before.
He moaned again, bucking his hips up, and I had just dipped my finger lower towards the not-quite-so-foreign territory when I felt his thigh trembling. I glanced up to see that his arms were flung out and taut, digging his fingers into the bedspread, and I was willing to bet his eyes were clenched shut.
It was a beautiful sight, seeing my strong, confident boyfriend on the verge of his release, and I wanted to keep him there. That didn’t last long enough though, because soon enough both legs were shaking, and his high moans had lost any coherence.
Next, I pulled out one of my favorite moves, flicking my tongue rapidly just under the ridge of the head, before swiping it firmly around the whole thing.
He thrust up hard, tensing his hips in mid air, and pulled madly at the comforter while he came. He was biting back his moan, but instead let out stifled whimpers, while I caught jet after jet of his thick spunk.
He was still shaking when his hips fell back to the bed, and I sat between his legs and ran my hands over them soothingly.
After a few minutes he motioned for me to crawl up to him, and we both slipped under the covers. He held out an arm so I could press myself against his warm body, and I rested my head on his shoulder. He was still breathing heavily, and I felt the rapid but even beating of his heart as he curled his arm around me.
“That was awesome,” he said with a sated sigh, and I grinned.
“Definitely. I had to congratulate you properly.”
“Well, damn. Then I should get into college more often.”
I laughed, and then settled myself against his shoulder again, still feeling warm and tingly all over. My mind was stuck on the part of the night that was new, the part that kind of weirded me out but felt so damn good.
So that’s the prostate.
I decided not to say anything, though, and just enjoyed being so wrapped up in him.
“I like this,” I said softly.
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“No. I mean, this.” I stretched my arm across his chest. “Curling up in bed, falling asleep.”
“We can do it every night, once we get to college.”
I hoped so. “But, what if I don’t get in?”
“You will.”
“But-”
“Edward.” He craned his neck to plant a kiss on my forehead. “You will.”
“Alright,” I muttered. “If you say so.”
He wrapped his arm tighter around me, pulling me up so that I was lying across him, and I tried to match my breathing to the steadying rise and fall of his chest. It had a lulling rhythm, and soon enough it was nearly impossible to keep my eyes open.
“I’m sleepy,” I whined, because that meant I was supposed to head back to my own room.
“Oh no,” he sing-songed quietly, and then yawned himself. “As much as I hate to say it, I think Mom’ll be coming in bright and early.”
“I guess I should find my underwear before I go, then.”
His chest bobbed with a quiet snicker. “Probably.”
“Alright,” I said, yawning too, “I’m going.” But he was trailing his fingertips across my back, and I didn’t even pretend to move.
His hand rubbed lower, and left a light smack on my butt. “On your feet, Private.”
I tilted my head up to see him, and we were both grinning.
“You like that, huh?”
His smile grew adorably lopsided. “I like how you react to me.”
That was impossible to deny. Just remembering how he commanded my body made me want to go for round two. I pushed myself higher up his chest so that I could meet his lips, saying, “Always.” I kissed him soundly once and then, just for kicks, pulled back to add, “Major.”
He kissed me back eagerly, and we spent the next few minutes kissing softly and sweetly like we hadn’t done earlier.
I trailed my fingers through his damp hair, all curly from exertion, and pushed it back from his face. We were watching each other from across the tiny gap between our noses, and all I could see were his sleepy eyes, blinking up at me happily.
“I love you,” he whispered, curling his arms all the way around me tightly.
“I love you too.”
Jasper’s embrace was too warm and comfortable, and I didn’t actually roll myself out of bed until he could barely talk for yawning so much. He planted a sloppy, affectionate kiss on my lips before he let me leave, and I slipped on my boxers and switched off the light as I padded my way into the hall.
When I opened my door early the next morning to head for the bathroom, Esme’s voice could be heard clearly from Jasper’s room. Having an overly perceptive boyfriend had some perks, it seemed, like knowing how to avoid getting busted by his parents.
That day Jasper shared his good news with the guys at lunch, where Tyler professed his jealousy and Mike congratulated him. Eric, who hadn’t even taken his SATs, couldn’t have cared less.
The day passed quickly, and then we only had two more days ‘til winter break. I couldn’t wait. Even besides Jasper’s good news, it had been a great week so far. All the teacher had given up on getting our attention, Ali had been going out of her way to say hi and Jessica, thankfully, had not.
In fact, I hadn’t even talked to her to her since Saturday when I high-tailed it out of the auditorium. At first I thought she’d just had some cheer thing, since I’d seen those yellow ribbons in a bunch of girls’ hair on Monday, but she had been avoiding me in English class too. As far as I was concerned nothing needed to change, and I just hoped I could make it to the weekend without having some awkward conversation with her.
I made it all the way through Thursday without incident but unfortunately, as I was rushing to English on Friday, I ran into her. Literally. She had still been stuffing things from her last class into her open backpack, and when I barreled into her I sent most of her books and binders flying.
I managed to catch her by the arms so she didn’t go sprawling down the hallway too, and after she’d righted herself I leaned down to pick up her books.
“You don’t have to do that,” she mumbled, reaching for the same book.
“No, it’s okay,” I answered quickly, grabbing it and handing it to her. “I’m really sorry, I just didn’t see you at all.”
I moved further down the hall, picking up a binder and pencil case, and carried it back to her.
She was eying me speculatively, and I paused with her stuff held out. “What?”
She shook her head, letting her long curls cover her face. “Nothing, it’s stupid.”
I was content to let it go at that, but she still didn’t take her things.
“Edward, why are you being so nice?”
Umm. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. You were …” She finally looked back up at me, looking sadly determined. “You were sorta mean on Saturday.”
I sighed heavily. This was definitely the encounter I was hoping to avoid.
“Look,” I sighed again. “I’m sorry, I just…”
She was watching me so attentively, hanging on my words and just waiting for some good reason for me to be an ass, but I didn’t have one. I had refused to talk to her when she had put herself on the line, but I didn’t have an excuse to give her. The truth was that I just didn’t care. Hers weren’t the feelings I was concerned about that night. In fact, they still weren’t my priority, so I couldn’t think of anything to say.
Soon enough, she realized I didn’t have an answer for her, and turned away. “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed.” She shook her head again, purposely not looking at me, and started grabbing the rest of her stuff haphazardly. I kind of wished she would blame me, that she would get pissed off and chew me out. I could deal with angry and pushy and loud. It was this quietly-dejected thing that put me out of my element.
Jessica grabbed the last of her papers before standing up and looking me straight in the eye. Even determined, she was still obviously upset. It occurred to me then that maybe she’d tried to hold my hand because she actually did like me. Maybe. I mean, she had always gone out of her way to be friendly. That’s why I even dared to speak up in the first place.
“Jessica-” I started.
She stared up at me with these huge, resigned brown eyes. “No, Edward. I get it. I thought that maybe - I mean, I know you’re shy.”
I almost cringed. I had been so much better off never talking to girls. “I was just trying to be nice,” I offered, apologetically.
“Nice guys don’t lead people on.”
Then, clutching her belongings to her chest, she marched into English class.
And I felt like the biggest asshole in the world.
I told Jas quietly while we walked to lunch, and now that everything had been settled he was sympathetic towards her. He still agreed it was for the best, though, and was glad I finally set her straight. His smile was subdued and understanding, but also grateful.
I had no intention of telling the rest of the guys, but by the time we were all waiting for Coach Clapp in the gym it became obvious that they’d all heard the day’s gossip. Tyler ribbed me in the side, giving me shit for breaking another heart, while Eric wondered aloud if he could be her rebound guy.
Ty snorted. “’Cause that worked out so well with Bella.”
Eric sighed glumly. “Yeah.”
“I heard she’s dating a wolf now,” Mike added, and they all looked to me for confirmation.
Jas and I both nodded. Unfortunately, it was true. Ali had given me occasional updates, and Bella had actually gushed to Jasper about it. Supposedly, she was really happy, and Black was ‘really sweet, once you got to know him.’ I was still skeptical, because the Black I’d met couldn’t sweet talk a bowl of sugar, but we’d both been assured that he was totally smitten with her and we had nothing to worry about.
Jas and I had still agreed that we would defend her honor if he even put one toe out of line.
Eric and Tyler continued to debate who had a better shot with Jessica, which was ridiculous because both of them were self-proclaimed players who never got any beside the occasional summer camp hook up, and even those may or may not have been fictional. The only one I thought might actually have a chance with Jessica was Mike, basically by virtue of not being Eric or Ty, but he threw his hands up and insisted he had no interest whatsoever. Somehow, the whole thing turned into a debate over who was more heartbroken which just made me uncomfortable, but it did make me think.
I hadn’t meant to hurt Jessica, obviously, but Bella even less so. And I didn’t really care if I ever got back into Jessica’s good graces, but Bella was different. We had history - I’d thought we had a real friendship. And that wasn’t something I had too many of.
I brought this all up to Jas after all the guys went out for pizza to celebrate the start of winter breaks, and he seemed pretty confident that Bella wasn’t upset anymore.
“She just feels awkward, you know? She thinks she should have known.”
I protested. “But I didn’t even know.”
“Yeah, I told her that. I think it helped to have Jacob Black around, actually. She sounds really happy with him,” he added.
I hoped she was, even if it was with him.
Once we wound down into vacation mode it was time to plan our annual Christmas movie marathon, and Jas insisted there was no way Bella would miss that. Alice wanted to know if Seth could come, and we decided that that was fine but Jacob Black was absolutely not invited, and in the end the girls joined us alone.
Alice and I had agreed to do our own celebration after I got back from New York so that I could get her something from the city - or, The City, as Jas insisted it was called over there - so all she had to bring were some of our classic movie picks.
Both girls showed up in their pajamas, as per usual, and we started the afternoon off with none other than Scrooge McDuck. As was to be expected, though, we inevitably fell into a debate about when to watch Nightmare Before Christmas. I said October, Bella said December, Jas said split the difference and Alice said all of them.
In the end we watched it, of course.
Both girls spent a good portion of the day texting their respective boyfriends, and I was happy not to need my phone. It left my hands free for cocoa with candy canes, and playing with the wisps of hair on the back of Jasper’s neck. I didn’t dare try anything like that at first but Rosalie wasn’t home and after a few hours of listening to both girls rattle on about all the cute things their boys had said, I had relaxed quite a bit.
Then, Jas slipped his arm across my shoulders.
Bella stared and I tensed, but Ali broke the moment by saying, “See, I told you. Movies are for cuddling.”
Bella huffed dramatically. “Ali, it was one time. And he had a fever.”
Alice dissolved into a fit of giggles, and Bella rolled her eyes before succumbing to them too.
I turned to Jas with a look that clearly said, ‘Girls, they make no sense,” but he was looking instead at Ali with a curiously appraising expression. He didn’t say anything though, and I relaxed back into his side before turning back to the screen.
It was a very new experience, our not-quite-public display of affection. It was a far cry from cuddling, but it still made one thing very clear: I was with Jas, and he was with me. The strangest thing was how little a difference that made. It seemed like knowing where everyone stood, and that we all had boyfriends we were very happy with, was enough to dispel any awkwardness that might have lingered. The girls still recited all the lines they knew out loud, Jas still snuck bites of my candy cane after he’d finished his own and, for the fourth year in a row, we watched Jack Skellington denounce Christmas in favor of his true, ghoulish nature.
It was definitely an October kind of movie.
Once we all hit our sugar crash I drove Alice and Bella home, and we said our Merry Christmases to Charlie at the door.
After that, there was nothing left to do but pack. I’d had to borrow a suitcase from the Cullens, but they had plenty. I’d reasoned that if I wasn’t going back to my old house for the only thing I really missed - Mom’s picture - I sure as hell wasn’t going back for some beat up suitcase with my Dad’s initials on them.
Packing under Esme’s directions was a flurry, and Carlisle laughed that night when he told us how early we’d all have to wake up. It was obscene. It was inhuman. It was never going to happen. He warned us that he’d be knocking on all our doors at five thirty, and even Esme gave him a grumpy look.
Knowing that didn’t help me fall asleep any faster, either. I willed myself to relax, but I was too excited. In the morning I was going to New York. For Christmas. With my boyfriend.
Chapter 20