Once Upon A Time...
It has been awhile since I have updated so I figured I would give a brief one to let you all know how things are....
I will be in Dallas in 1 Week for CPL (www.thecpl.com) working on Camera for a virtual company I work for (Team Sportscast Network - http://www.tsncentral.com). I have struggled from being excited with going, to dreading it, to once again being excited about it, but as time gets closer... I grow a little bit less excited, but also nervous about it, which is odd. I guess the circumstance surrounding everything up to the event will determine how the event goes for me.
I don't know whether that means walking around by myself and just chilling, or hanging out in the Sports Bar and nursing a Drink, or leaving the Venue and goto a diff. location, or take a long walk outside to the Lake and just relax there. I know I need the time and with what is in my head right now, its going to be important that I do take that time when possible.
Hidden amongst all of this is another situation which is almost dejavu for me, unfortunately. I don't regret my choices in the past few years, nor do I plan to regret any. Regrets lead to many "what ifs", that shouldn't and dont need to be in my life. I am walking cautiously and not advancing in any certain direction like before, nor do I plan to jeopardize my friendships of the past few years, especially the ones that have had to be rebuilt, due to my mistakes. It is hard to put into words and it is hard to explain, but let me say that friends are a beautiful thing and should never be taken for granted... Life goes on, but without Friends by your side, you might as well be dead.
Feelings are Feelings, and should be viewed and examined closely before commmitting yourself to any certain situation. I am at that point currently, I guess you could say that I am like a Dam and the Feelings are becoming a Lake. That Lake could overflow/flood or I can control it and open the gates to let the feelings out to control the Lake. I am currently in the filling up stage where the Lake is being filled up again. This is the point where one daydreams, dreams, thinks, misses, wants, looks, etc for whatever the Feelings are about.
It is all abit weird and sketchy, but its how I wrote it.. so deal with it.
J
I will be in Dallas in 1 Week for CPL (www.thecpl.com) working on Camera for a virtual company I work for (Team Sportscast Network - http://www.tsncentral.com). I have struggled from being excited with going, to dreading it, to once again being excited about it, but as time gets closer... I grow a little bit less excited, but also nervous about it, which is odd. I guess the circumstance surrounding everything up to the event will determine how the event goes for me.
I don't know whether that means walking around by myself and just chilling, or hanging out in the Sports Bar and nursing a Drink, or leaving the Venue and goto a diff. location, or take a long walk outside to the Lake and just relax there. I know I need the time and with what is in my head right now, its going to be important that I do take that time when possible.
Hidden amongst all of this is another situation which is almost dejavu for me, unfortunately. I don't regret my choices in the past few years, nor do I plan to regret any. Regrets lead to many "what ifs", that shouldn't and dont need to be in my life. I am walking cautiously and not advancing in any certain direction like before, nor do I plan to jeopardize my friendships of the past few years, especially the ones that have had to be rebuilt, due to my mistakes. It is hard to put into words and it is hard to explain, but let me say that friends are a beautiful thing and should never be taken for granted... Life goes on, but without Friends by your side, you might as well be dead.
Feelings are Feelings, and should be viewed and examined closely before commmitting yourself to any certain situation. I am at that point currently, I guess you could say that I am like a Dam and the Feelings are becoming a Lake. That Lake could overflow/flood or I can control it and open the gates to let the feelings out to control the Lake. I am currently in the filling up stage where the Lake is being filled up again. This is the point where one daydreams, dreams, thinks, misses, wants, looks, etc for whatever the Feelings are about.
It is all abit weird and sketchy, but its how I wrote it.. so deal with it.
J