Books 2019 - A Walk on the Beach by E.T. (Pros fic)
A Beach to Walk On by ET is one of my favourite zines for re-reading, and is really a bit of a comfort read. It's absolutely, perfectly slash, and it's angst and partner-worry and partner-comfort and most importantly just the right amount of those things rather than tipping into soppiness and unlikelihood!
It's set after Mixed Doubles, and the lads are actually given the two weeks off that Cowley has promised them. Bodie decides that what they need - what Doyle needs, but what he needs too - is some time away from the job together, where they can just be themselves with someone else who understands them. So he hijacks Doyle, who's having trouble coming to terms with those dum-dums, and they head off down to the Dorset coast.
They both try to get over the whole Parsali affair in their own ways - Bodie by being as normal as he can be, and Doyle by struggling through, but they both come apart in their own ways. And of course they come together too, and that's the other part of the story. *g* Spoilers below, if you don't want to read any more...
Much as I love the rest of it, the ending bugs me every time, because it makes me think the author was just trying to string things out to make a longer zine. She has an excellent resolution, but instead of finishing perfectly there, there's suddenly a whole series of doubts and misunderstandings about sleeping together and the frankly bizarre worry that one of them is going to "rape" the other one. It's that whole what-if-you-change-your-mind-in-the-middle-and-I-can't-stop thing, and okay I get there might be an element of a bloke changing his mind when it comes to same-sex sex for the first time, and the whole physical thing of fucking, but when there's been such a perfect build-up of love and lust between them, it just feels tacked-on and forced...
So it's about a dozen pages too long - but apart from that it's fab, and I hope you get a chance to read it! It's a paper zine, and as far as I know it's not online anywhere, and not likely to be, sadly - and now the publisher is no more, either.