in loving memory of Eric Anderson died 10/25/04
Some poems i wrote
I dont know why or how!
I thought you were happy,
I thought you loved your friends.
I thought you wanted to be a politican
I thought you wanted to go to the party on Sat!
Instead im going to your funeral.
Why couldnt you tell me?
Why didn't you love life?
What was so bad you ended it?
If only I knew!
I would have done anything to make you happy!
I would have lived with you, I would have never left your side.
I would have made you pee your pants everyday
I would have made you chicken soup when you were sick .
I would have made sure you were never sad, mad or anything but happy!
All i can say is that I love you!
I always will!
A cry out!
Somebody please tell me what to say?
What to feel! Somebody anybody give me knowlege
give me happiness give me that life i had befor my sis moved out, before Eric died before hell froze over and i was left here.
Tell me something tell me why? Show me a pic of him and tell me he was happy! Thats all I want, all i need, right now.
When Eric died he thought he would get rid of his sadness!
Well he did and somehow i got it!
Somehow I feel like crap I swear if I knew about it I sould have stopped him and took away his pain.
I wish i had something about me that made everyone happy and never sad! Iwish i could be the person who could bear all the sadness so no one else would. I know god bears it but i feel hes doing a bad job!
My answers!
I questioned God
I asked him why and how
I cried out "tell me now"
I need to know!
Why do I hurt, who do so many things go wrong?
What makes all these things happen?
I thought god was silent, I thought god was wrong
I thought god didnt know!
The thing is God wasnt silent he wasnt wrong and he did know but I was chosing not to listen.
I was chosing to blame everything on god, cuz i needed to blame it onsome one
The real bad guy was the devil.
He screwed with Erics head
He screwed with mine and hes screwing
with everyones mind that chooses to believe god doesnt exist that he doesnt care and your useless.
I need to , we need to stop listening, stop letting him get us,
stop questioning and start listening to what God is saying!
I dont know why or how!
I thought you were happy,
I thought you loved your friends.
I thought you wanted to be a politican
I thought you wanted to go to the party on Sat!
Instead im going to your funeral.
Why couldnt you tell me?
Why didn't you love life?
What was so bad you ended it?
If only I knew!
I would have done anything to make you happy!
I would have lived with you, I would have never left your side.
I would have made you pee your pants everyday
I would have made you chicken soup when you were sick .
I would have made sure you were never sad, mad or anything but happy!
All i can say is that I love you!
I always will!
A cry out!
Somebody please tell me what to say?
What to feel! Somebody anybody give me knowlege
give me happiness give me that life i had befor my sis moved out, before Eric died before hell froze over and i was left here.
Tell me something tell me why? Show me a pic of him and tell me he was happy! Thats all I want, all i need, right now.
When Eric died he thought he would get rid of his sadness!
Well he did and somehow i got it!
Somehow I feel like crap I swear if I knew about it I sould have stopped him and took away his pain.
I wish i had something about me that made everyone happy and never sad! Iwish i could be the person who could bear all the sadness so no one else would. I know god bears it but i feel hes doing a bad job!
My answers!
I questioned God
I asked him why and how
I cried out "tell me now"
I need to know!
Why do I hurt, who do so many things go wrong?
What makes all these things happen?
I thought god was silent, I thought god was wrong
I thought god didnt know!
The thing is God wasnt silent he wasnt wrong and he did know but I was chosing not to listen.
I was chosing to blame everything on god, cuz i needed to blame it onsome one
The real bad guy was the devil.
He screwed with Erics head
He screwed with mine and hes screwing
with everyones mind that chooses to believe god doesnt exist that he doesnt care and your useless.
I need to , we need to stop listening, stop letting him get us,
stop questioning and start listening to what God is saying!