going crazy
well okay so today i drove. YAY!! Well i was suppost to go to independant studies and when i got there no one was there so i called my coach. My coach told me to just go to practice. So i get to practice and i see all my old teamates and i loved it! Well so i get dressed and asked my coach who he wanted me to practice with and he put me with this big girl 190 lbs. I wrestled a 225 pounder but the difference was she sucked. well im not trying to be conseded but i shouldnt having to teach or wrestler with an underclassmen! I was pissed. Well so duck unders are the easiest move and she could not learn it. well people that know me know im not mean to people or at least try not to and i was furious with her. We ran to the middle of the mat and she walked, cought her breath and than proceded. Here i am practing out of practice running and waiting to go to wrestling practice and when i get there i have to work with her. Normally i wouldnt mind if she tried but she was laughing and smiling and i almost smacked the crap out of her. Meanwhile all this was happening my coach was laughing cuz he thought it was hillarious. Okay so this isnt all i have 10 pounds to loose and my coach tells me i dont know if youll be able to wrestle 140's but if you cant youll have to wrestle 174's! Man i was pissed not even pissed my head was about to come off steam was coming out of my ears and i almost killed someone.
so anyways i cooled off and went back to school. I got to school and we were going into chapel. I was so not excited about going especially after what just happened. So i was trying to put all my anger aside and i started singing and praying. It really killed me cuz i dont know whats going on with me i feel weird but than im perfectly fine in school and at home. I guess its just sumthn sprirtual. so im getting ready to leave and i see my brother crying! Lately hes been so sad and staying home with my parents. I asked him why and he said he missed my sis. It really kills me cuz i wish i could just smack him with happy dust. So if anyones has some tell me! Well i tried to make him happy cuz if anyone is sad in my family it kills me. It literally tears me up inside. Out of anything in the world i think its my family that would make me go into depression out of their own missory. I know its cool to be like that but i wish i could be a little more care free! well this might sound all depression but there one more thing
okay so today we had a game and at first i was excited and than i was beatn myself up inside cuz i was messing up and doing stupid mistakes! i got so mad at myself and did push ups on the court. Thats how i get myself together. Sounds weird but i punish myself. I only wish i could do that with school and my faith but it only works with sports.
well okay im at home now and im happy! I really love my mom and dad!! They always make ways to cheer me up! My dad will start to play fight with me than ill have to kick his butt!NOT and my mom will start making fun of me! First ill get pissed than ill realize im acting like a moron! So thankfully i havnt gone crazy yet! CROSS ME FINGURES
so anyways i cooled off and went back to school. I got to school and we were going into chapel. I was so not excited about going especially after what just happened. So i was trying to put all my anger aside and i started singing and praying. It really killed me cuz i dont know whats going on with me i feel weird but than im perfectly fine in school and at home. I guess its just sumthn sprirtual. so im getting ready to leave and i see my brother crying! Lately hes been so sad and staying home with my parents. I asked him why and he said he missed my sis. It really kills me cuz i wish i could just smack him with happy dust. So if anyones has some tell me! Well i tried to make him happy cuz if anyone is sad in my family it kills me. It literally tears me up inside. Out of anything in the world i think its my family that would make me go into depression out of their own missory. I know its cool to be like that but i wish i could be a little more care free! well this might sound all depression but there one more thing
okay so today we had a game and at first i was excited and than i was beatn myself up inside cuz i was messing up and doing stupid mistakes! i got so mad at myself and did push ups on the court. Thats how i get myself together. Sounds weird but i punish myself. I only wish i could do that with school and my faith but it only works with sports.
well okay im at home now and im happy! I really love my mom and dad!! They always make ways to cheer me up! My dad will start to play fight with me than ill have to kick his butt!NOT and my mom will start making fun of me! First ill get pissed than ill realize im acting like a moron! So thankfully i havnt gone crazy yet! CROSS ME FINGURES