RP: Sisterhood
Title: "Sisterhood"
Game date: August 30, 1998
Time: 7:45pm
Characters featured: Andromeda Tonks, Narcissa Malfoy, mention of various others.
Location: Sheffield, York
Brief Summary: Narcissa visits Andromeda in Sheffield.
Status: Private, DND
Completion: Complete pending slight edit.
Narcissa appeared at the edge of a neatly-kept yard, just to the side of a small house that she prseumed must be where Andromeda lived. Though she was by far no expert at Defence, Narcissa could sense that the property was well warded.
She took in the shape of the house, the lush grass, the hedge, the front walk, to remember them all if Andie should permit her to come back--and to imprint them on her memory even if Andi never wanted to see her again. Narcissa made a promise to herself to draw them when she got home.
Not that the drawing would look much better than a child's sketch, but at least she would have something she could look at when she remembered this visit. She could try drawing Andie, too, Narcissa thought, but she knew that would look even worse than the house sketch was likely to.
Narcissa walked along the hedge, took a deep breath, and slowly approached the front door. She had worn the most Muggle-looking clothes she could find--a white blouse with flowers on it, and a full, calf-length skirt of deep blue, tied at the waist with a loosely-woven sash. She had not used much make-up, because she hadn't really cared about make-up in days, and her hair was tied back in a ponytail. For an instant, Narcissa was seized with fear that Andie might think she was dressing down and being contemptuous.
Oh, for the love of Merlin, stop worrying about it, and just GO! You like the way you look. If Andie doesn't, tough shit.
It was the same inner voice that had bullied her into going to Diagon Alley the week before, and that had not been too bad an experience. Narcissa let out the breath she'd been holding and knocked on Andie's front door.
The knock made Andromeda jump. Even though she was expecting her sister, the thought still terrified her that Narcissa was willingly making contact with her and that she had allowed it. She hadn't known what had actually possessed her to agree to this; she hadn't bothered to talk to Molly or Arthur about this and Teddy was here as well. She would have preferred that he were not here, but Harry was busy with his studying and her regular babysitter was away for the day. At least he was fast asleep up in his room.
This is for Teddy, she reminded herself. I can't make him think one way or another about her--he can make up his own mind about that.
Yes, it was true that Cissy hadn't directly been involved in the deaths of Ted, Dora or Remus, but her bloody husband most likely had and for that reason in particular, she would never allow Lucius Malfoy into her home or near her grandson. While it was true that Andromeda and Narcissa had, at one point in life, been extremely close as sisters, it was the abandonment of her family when she had fallen in love with Ted that had hurt the worst. But Cissy had made her choice and cut Andromeda out of her life. There were moments over the last twenty-five odd years that she would have loved to have shared with her family, especially her early years as a mother, after Ted lost his mother and she had no one to comfort her and tell her she was doing a good job as a mother when Dora would say 'I hate you, Mother' after one of their rows.
The wall of isolation that she'd been forced to live behind was about to come down. That's all there was to it and whether it would remain down or be built up again bigger than before was up to her sister.
With a deep breath, she stepped to the door and peeked around to the window that framed the door. There Narcissa stood, dressed to the nines, well, maybe sevens, holding her head high and still looking as if she owned the world. Placing a hand on the door knob, she slowly turned it to face her sister for the first time in decades.
The door opened, and Narcissa almost didn't dare look at Andie. But it would have been unforgivably rude not to look at her, so Narcissa did. She let out a tiny breath of relief. Andie looked...carefully neutral--with only a little anger showing, and not the naked hatred that Narcissa had dreaded. Maybe there was hope, after all--except that she had always given the Dark Lord that carefully neutral look, too, and she had hated him.
She skittered away from Andie's expression to take in other details--the hair that was just as she remembered it--thick, warm brown, and as glossy as Bella's, the faint beginning of crow's feet, the look of tiredness and maybe apprehension, the very Muggle clothes.
"H-Hi," Narcissa said--well, meant to say. It came out more as a high-pitched whisper. Narcissa took a breath, let it out, and started over again. "It's good to see you, Andie. Thank you for letting me come."
"Mmm hmmm," she answered through clenched teeth. The sisters stared at each other for a few moments, looking each other up and down. Andromeda knew that Narcissa would be thinking that she dressed too much like a Muggle and that she was letting herself go. Cissy should try losing her family and then see how good she looked.
Narcissa looked, well, like Narcissa. She always was more concerned about the type of image she presented and her clothing reflected that. It surprised Andromeda that her sister even owned anything that resembled Muggle clothing. Lucius surely wouldn't approve.
Narcissa cleared her throat and Andromeda realized they were standing in the open door, still looking at each other. She stepped aside and said, "Come in," as warmly as she could.
"Thank you," Narcissa said softly. Blast it--why couldn't she maintain a normal speaking tone? She stepped inside the living room and tried to soak it all in so she could remember it--the carpet, the curtains, the knick-knacks and photographs, the comfortable-looking sofa and chairs, the lamps.
She would never be able to remember it all, Narcissa realized with a wave of despair. In an hour or so, Andie would shut the door behind her, and they would never see each other again until their funerals.
But she could remember the look of it, Narcissa decided. Andie's living room looked homey and loved in, sort of like--hers and Lucius' bedroom. She had no idea how to draw that, but she would find a way. "I think you've been happy here," she said. "It shows."
"Yes, I have. Thank you. Here, sit down," Andromeda said, pointing to one of the armchairs. "Would you like some tea? It's just Earl Grey."
Narcissa nodded and watched as Andromeda poured out. Andie was pleased that she wasn't shaking, as her insides were tied up in knots and she felt like running away. That wouldn't solve anything, of course, she kept reminding herself.
"Cream, right?" It amazed her that she remembered that after all these years. Or did she? "Or is it lemon?"
"It's cream; thanks," Narcissa said with a faint laugh. "Bella's the one who liked lemon." A frown came over her face for a moment at Bella's name, and then she shook it off and dug a foil-wrapped bundle out of her pocket. "I brought cookies." She set the package on the table and unwrapped the foil. Inside lay a pile of large, chewy oatmeal-raisin cookies. "I hope you're not on a diet."
Andromeda snorted. "Not today." She reached for a cookie that Narcissa had placed on the table and then stopped a few inches from them. A sudden dreadful thought crossed her mind, and she looked at her sister with apprehension. Their eyes connected for several seconds before Andromeda asked what was on her mind, "Did you bake them? You never could bake, and I would hate to have to spit out my favorite type of cookie."
Narcissa looked worriedly at her sister for a moment and then burst out laughing, once Andromeda spoke. "Oh, Merlin, we're a pair! I was afraid maybe you thought I had poisoned them, or something! Yes, I baked them. I spoiled Draco horribly when he was a boy, and I was determined that the house-elf wasn't going to bake sweets for him; I wanted to. I, um--I got better with practice. I promise."
Andromeda eyed her sister carefully and then smiled. "Well, if you say so." She reached out and grabbed one of the cookies from her sister's package and slowly lifted it to her mouth and took a bite. "Oh."
Narcissa's mouth formed into a worried expression.
"I mean...wow. You certainly have got better, Narcissa." She took another bite. "Mmmm...you know, you could sell these!" she said with her mouth full and put the remainder in her mouth and chewed with her mouth closed, enjoying every flavour. "So tell me, how many batches did you have to practice on to get it right?"
"Oh, god, that was years ago...Lots of batches," Narcissa admitted. She took a deep swallow of tea and bit into a cookie, herself. "I finally got the oven temperature right, but then I was putting in too much oatmeal, and they would come out like rocks--or they would fall apart. Then I learned that margarine is a lot more watery than butter, and I had to account for that, too. I thought I would never learn to cook."
"Lard. Use lard. Don't worry about the fat content. Everything tastes better with lard. Cookies, pie crust, scones...you name it. Use lard," Andromeda advised, taking another cookie. As she chewed, she suddenly realized that she was having a very polite conversation with her estranged sister over baking, which was really very odd, to say the least.
Narcissa came over to talk about their relationship, not about thier baking efforts. Andromeda lifted her cup of tea to her lips and took a sip to wash down the cookie.
"So, you wanted to talk. I'm listening."
Narcissa coughed on a cookie crumb. She could feel the nervousness coming back. Everything had felt so natural for a few moments, just like it ought to be between them, just two sisters talking about the best kind of shortening to make cookies with.
She took a hasty swallow of tea to wash the crumbs down, took a breath, and looked back at her sister. "Andie, I don't know if there's anything I can say or do to make things right between us. Twenty years of not bothering to be a part of your life is an awfully long time, and--and--it's a lot of hurt. I don't think saying, 'I'm so sorry' to you makes up for that, at all. I--I don't know what can. But I had to try. I don't want to live the rest of my life never speaking to you again. I was so...arrogant; thought I knew it all. I refused to see."
Andromeda looked at the sadness which had come over her sister's face, taken aback by what she saw, never expecting to feel her pain in the pit of her own stomach. Everything she said was true. Sorry didn't even begin to cover everything but the fact that Narcissa was the one who initiated contact meant a great deal. It showed Andromeda that perhaps change could begin. That maybe. just maybe, she could have a sister at most, or a friend at least.
"So why did you keep it up, the charade? Why didn't you just say to him," the 'him' of course being Lucius, "that you wanted nothing to do with the whole mess and leave? You're a grown woman who can make her own choices. Why did you let him control your life like that? No man is worth losing your own identity." Andromeda took another sip of her tea. "I guess that's one of the things that makes you and I different, doesn't it? But then again, in a way, I lost my family identity the second I chose Ted over our family"
"That's just it, Andie--it wasn't a charade. I really was that much of a fool and a snob. I really did believe all of that rubbish--not the 'All Muggles must die' part, but the part about purebloods being better than everyone else. And if things went on under my roof that I didn't exactly agree with, I could turn a blind eye to them, just as I always did with Bella, growing up. It was easier than actually questioning the way things were and getting ridiculed for it or risking Bella's temper. It--it took Draco's life being threatened for almost two years, for me to finally understand how horribly stupid I was about everything I had believed and done. It took seeing things with my own eyes that I never wanted to see. Purebloods weren't any better than Muggles; we were in fact worse. Some of us were murdering and torturing people right and left--all in the name of our supposed superiority. Bella did it with positive glee." Narcissa shuddered. "I hated her, by the time she died. I wanted to kill her, myself. Had her cremated, so she couldn't rise again--because I figured, if Bella could find a way, she would, just like the Dark Lord did.
"As for saying anything to him--you didn't say things to the Dark Lord that he didn't like. Even the people high in his favor knew better than that. We just kept our heads down and prayed he wouldn't notice us too often." Narcissa looked at her sister. "I've been a coward all my life, Andie, and my cowardice has cost you--and us."
"Believe it or not, I can imagine the conflict within you without having experienced it myself." Andromeda put her tea cup on the table and sat back in her chair, folding her hands in her lap. "Muggles did something similar to each other about fifty years ago, around the same time Grindelweld was going 'round terrorizing our world. People just sat by and watched their neighbors being carted away, never to be seen again and didn't say anything. So yes, I agree with you, the people you once associated yourself with are no better than Muggles." She took a deep breath and planned her next words carefully. "The kind of prejudice displayed in both worlds is appalling and I hope one day, blood status doesn't mean anything to anyone."
Andromeda smiled to herself, remembering the speeches that Ted used to give to crowds back in the days before Dora came a long. He got caught up in all the civil rights stuff that was going on in the sixties and seventies. In fact, the type of things Ted would talk about were exactly why Andromeda chose to break from her family.
"Ted's the one who taught me about the ugliness of prejudice, whether it was Muggle or wizard. We're all human and have the same failings. What matters most is how we deal with things when confronted by injustice."
Andromeda wasn't trying to sound like she was giving a speech; it was just the way she was. She'd lived through all sorts of prejudice in her life and all she wanted was for her sister to see that.
"Please don't think I'm belittling what you went through. Just understand that there is a lot of pain on both sides," she said as she leaned forward and took her sisters hand, touching her for the first time in decades.
The touch on her hand was the last thing Narcissa had expected. She grasped her sister's hand in return and felt her eyes welling. "I know you're not belittling it; you're being respectful." She bit her lip. "It's going to take a while for all of my old attitudes to go, Andie. I've worn them like a banner for over twenty years, and they're not going to vanish overnight. Looking down on other people is easy, and some people are hard to respect. But I know it's got to happen. Otherwise, we won't deserve the second chance we were given. And I won't deserve the second chance you're giving me."
"To tell you the truth, you weren't the one who convinced me."
Andromeda took notice of her sister's shocked expression and the sudden look of fear in her eyes.
"It was actually my daughter."
Narcissa relaxed noticeably yet with a look of confusion on her face.
"The other night, I had a dream. Now, I don't put much stock in the likes of Sybil Trelawney and her lot, but I dremat about Dora. Well, you probably don't know this, but she was a Metamorphmagus. All her life, people looked at her as something to be studied and stared at. Add that to her half-blood status and people really managed to be very cruel to her."
Narcissa nodded in agreement; Andromeda could almost hear the wheels turning in her sister's head.
"But she ignored all that and lived her life the way she wanted to. She became an Auror when people thought she was too clumsy." Andromeda smiled as she remembered Dora complaining loudly about her stealth class and instructor. "She was looked down upon because there just aren't all that many women who chose that field.
"But you know, one of the best things she ever did was fall in love with Remus...things weren't easy for a half-blood Metamorphmagus and a half-blood werewolf known to be on the side of Harry Potter."
Andromeda paused to take a sip of her tea, hoping to hold back the tears that were threatening to flow.
"Well, in the dream, she reminded me of all this and that I should give her son a chance to have a normal life, whatever that may be. It won't be easy for me, Narcissa, but I'm willing to try. For Teddy."
Narcissa nodded. "We'll do things for our children that we might never dream of doing for ourselves. Our love for them brings out the best in us--or at least gives us the strength to do those things." She sighed. "I wish I had taken the time to know Dora and Ted, but I doubt they'd have liked the person I was until recently." She paused. "I have a--harder time accepting Remus. I heard about their marriage, and I was appalled that Dora had married a werewolf. I've known a werewolf. He was--not someone I'd want to see my niece married to. I think he'd have happily bitten me or anyone else, just for the sake of doing it."
Never before had Andromeda admitted to anyone that at first, she felt the same way about Remus. She was frightened at first and wouldn't allow him in her home. It took much convincing from Nymphadora to change her mind. She debated sharing this information and decided that if she did, it might just help her sister.
"To tell you the truth, I felt the same way, at first."
Narcissa gasped audibly.
"But you know, he didn't live like a werewolf. He dealt with it as one would deal with a disability, making adjustments in his everyday life. He was really a very intelligent, well-read man with interests as sophisticated as what we grew up with. Wolfsbane Potion saved him. It took away much of the violence of his transformation. He'd often describe himself as a tired dog sleeping in the corner when he transformed."
Her heart tightened as she thought of Remus, his gentle voice and the way his face brightened when he'd look at Dora and Teddy.
Narcissa eyes widened with surprise. "So he...didn't like being a werewolf. It makes a little more sense, now. He taught Draco Defence during his third year at Hogwarts. Perhaps that's why Albus Dumbledore hired him. At the time, I was just horrified that a werewolf had been allowed to teach our children. If I recall, Draco liked him better than his previous two Defence professors--until that information came out."
She gave Andromeda a curious look. "What is Teddy like? Is he a werewolf, too?"
"No, he's not. Lychanthropy isn't hereditary. Actually," Andromeda began with a wide smile, "Teddy's a Metamorphmagus, too. Turquoise is his favourite hair colour. I did some research, and it's very rare that a mother has a son with the same abilities. It's usually females. Makes him all the more precious to me."
Andromeda's eyes wandered to the mantel, where she had several pictures. She non-verbally summoned a picture of Dora, Remus and Teddy that was taken the week before the battle at Hogwarts. Once the photograph was in her hand, she handed it to her sister.
"That's them the week before..." She tried swallowed hard, trying to contain the tears that were forming and praying that she would not be overcome with sobs.
Narcissa glanced at Andromeda for a moment, waiting for her to finish the sentence. Then it hit her, and she clasped her sister's hand. Only then did she look at the photograph. A young woman who looked unmistakably like Andromeda held a baby in her arms as she stood next to a smiling, somewhat careworn-looking man with graying hair.
It was the first time Narcissa had ever seen Nymphadora, and she looked at the family with wonder. "She looks just like you," Narcissa whispered. "And Remus--looks like a very decent man, not at all like--" She cut off her own sentence, not caring to discuss Fenrir Greyback right now. She looked at her sister. "They're beautiful, Andie."
She couldn't help it. She broke down and began to sob, all sorts of emotions and memories flooding her. She sobbed while she remembered the joy of when she got married and the despair that her family had deserted her. She sobbed at the recollection at the bliss of Dora's birth and the nasty words her mother spoke upon hearing of her granddaughter's birth. She was flooded with recollections of her last night with Ted and then was hit with the reality of his death. She sobbed at memories of Teddy's birth and the pit of sadness in her stomach that he will never know his parents.
This was the first time she had broken down and wept openly in front of anyone and the fact that she did it in front of her sister was strangely appropriate. Narcissa's arms went round her shoulders and held her as the sobs continued to rack her body.
Narcissa let Andromeda cry without making any attempt to calm her. If anyone had a right to unbridled grief, it was her sister, Narcissa felt. And having Andromeda openly crying made it possible for the wall around her own emotions to finally shatter. She didn't have to be strong or impassive in front of anyone, at this moment, didn't have to hide. It started with disgust at her own arrogance for the past twenty-five years and ran through the gamut of everything that had gone on for the previous year or so. At last, it came out in a torrent--the murders and tortures she hadn't dared prevent, the constant terror for Draco and Lucius, the understanding that life could never be the same again, even if she hadn't lost anyone she loved, and the frightening knowledge that she could never be the same, even though Voldemort was dead.
Finally, the tears slowed, and Narcissa wiped a sleeve across her eyes. "How did we get to be the only human members of our family?" she mumbled, still leaning against Andromeda and not particularly wanting to let her go.
Upon hearing Narcissa's voice, Andromeda sat up, letting her sister's arms fall off her shoulders. For a few moments, the two of them just sat there, tears trails drying into salty tracks. Finally, Andromeda began to speak.
"Harry mentioned that you did something for him in the forest, but he never explained. All he said was that he owed you his life."
Narcissa sniffled. "I wasn't being noble or anything, Andie. I told the Dark Lord that Harry was dead when I knew Harry was alive." At Andromeda's startled look, Narcissa went on.
"We were stuck out in the woods near Hogwarts with the Dark Lord. Harry came upon us, and the Dark Lord cast Avada Kedavra on him--and it knocked Harry to the ground." Narcissa cleared her throat. "The Dark Lord told one of us to make sure Harry was dead, and I went to check him. And he--he wasn't dead. I don't think I've ever been so shocked in my life; I had to use Occlumency to hide the shock. For a moment, I was furious! I've--I've seen them commit murders, Andie. How dared he still be alive when so many others have died from that spell--innocent people--yet he was on the ground, still breathing? What the hell was so special about him?
"Then I figured, if Harry had survived the Dark Lord twice, maybe he truly was destined to kill him. By then, I wanted the Dark Lord dead so much I could taste it. And maybe, if the Dark Lord thought Harry was dead, Lucius and I could get into Hogwarts and find Draco before someone killed him. Draco had been made to do the Dark Lord's little 'errands' for the past two years." Narcissa scowled. "So I told everyone Harry was dead. And Harry let Hagrid pick him up, and then we all went into Hogwarts. The--the rest, you know. I stopped thinking about anything but Draco after we got inside."
Andromeda sniffed as her tears dried up and her composure returned.
"I see."
That's really all she could say. Her sister, whom she thought was loyal to Voldemort, openly lied and disobeyed the evil man and their domineering sister to save the life of Harry and her son. Amazing.
"Harry is Teddy's godfather. Remus and Dora chose him." Andromeda smiled. "I can't think of anyone better. He's so good with him. I think he wants to make sure that Teddy has a much better life than he had. In fact, he babysat Teddy the other weekend when Molly and I went to Bath for a vacation."
Narcissa was quiet, almost as if she was processing the information and trying to wrap her head around the fact that either Harry was Teddy's godfather or she was friends with Molly Weasley.
"Harry Potter babysat Teddy for a weekend?" Narcissa echoed, her eyes wide with amazement. She glanced back and forth from the photograph to Andromeda. "That must be love, because I can't imagine Draco changing anyone's nappies--not even for pay." She reached for her teacup and drank some more tea. "How was Bath?" she asked.
"Heavenly. We got massages, facials and walked in the Roman baths. It was amazing." Andromeda sighed as she remembered the trip. "Harry did a great job with Teddy, and now when I say 'Harry,' his hair changes to black. But he had help--Ginny Weasley was here with him, too."
"I hope she made Harry change Teddy at least some of the time," Narcissa said with a grin. She nibbled on another cookie. "Bath sounds fantastic. Did you visit the Pump Room? I've never been, but I used to read Regency romance novels, and they would talk about it."
"Oh I remember you reading them! You'd get absorbed for DAYS reading that trash!" Andromeda shook her head as she remembered a teenaged Narcissa reading novel after novel about ladies and the rakes that seduced them, making them unsuitable for a 'proper' marriage and all that rot.
"We had lunch there before we left and I have to say it was a bit intimidating. I think you'd fit in there better than Molly or I. Ginny did say that after Harry's initial shock at Teddy's nappies, he did almost every one after that."
A shrill cry from Teddy's room caused Andromeda to turn, and she noticed her own demeanor change immediately.
"I...I'm sorry, Cissy, but I think it's time you left. I have to feed him again and I'm just...just not ready to have him meet you yet," she said solemnly, hoping her sister would understand. "It's been lovely talking to you. Really it has."
Narcissa blinked in mild surprise, but she nodded. "Hogwarts wasn't built in a day," she said. "I can wait to see him until you feel comfortable." She looked into Andromeda's eyes. "Thank you so much for letting me come, Andie. It means more to me than I can ever say." She hugged Andromeda. "I guess you'd better feed that boy before he wakes the neighborhood."
"He won't. Harry made sure to put up an extra strong charm on the house when he was here and I never bothered to take it down," she answered, and they both chuckled. They walked silently to the door, and they stood for a moment in the open doorway before exchanging hugs once again.
As they drew apart, Andromeda looked at her sister, silhouetted in the light from the street lamps and smiled.
"I'll send an owl. Maybe we can have lunch sometime."
"Lunch sounds wonderful," Narcissa said, unable to restrain a smile. In the house, Teddy reminded them once again that he wanted dinner. "I'll see you later, Andie."
It was a promise.
Game date: August 30, 1998
Time: 7:45pm
Characters featured: Andromeda Tonks, Narcissa Malfoy, mention of various others.
Location: Sheffield, York
Brief Summary: Narcissa visits Andromeda in Sheffield.
Status: Private, DND
Completion: Complete pending slight edit.
Narcissa appeared at the edge of a neatly-kept yard, just to the side of a small house that she prseumed must be where Andromeda lived. Though she was by far no expert at Defence, Narcissa could sense that the property was well warded.
She took in the shape of the house, the lush grass, the hedge, the front walk, to remember them all if Andie should permit her to come back--and to imprint them on her memory even if Andi never wanted to see her again. Narcissa made a promise to herself to draw them when she got home.
Not that the drawing would look much better than a child's sketch, but at least she would have something she could look at when she remembered this visit. She could try drawing Andie, too, Narcissa thought, but she knew that would look even worse than the house sketch was likely to.
Narcissa walked along the hedge, took a deep breath, and slowly approached the front door. She had worn the most Muggle-looking clothes she could find--a white blouse with flowers on it, and a full, calf-length skirt of deep blue, tied at the waist with a loosely-woven sash. She had not used much make-up, because she hadn't really cared about make-up in days, and her hair was tied back in a ponytail. For an instant, Narcissa was seized with fear that Andie might think she was dressing down and being contemptuous.
Oh, for the love of Merlin, stop worrying about it, and just GO! You like the way you look. If Andie doesn't, tough shit.
It was the same inner voice that had bullied her into going to Diagon Alley the week before, and that had not been too bad an experience. Narcissa let out the breath she'd been holding and knocked on Andie's front door.
The knock made Andromeda jump. Even though she was expecting her sister, the thought still terrified her that Narcissa was willingly making contact with her and that she had allowed it. She hadn't known what had actually possessed her to agree to this; she hadn't bothered to talk to Molly or Arthur about this and Teddy was here as well. She would have preferred that he were not here, but Harry was busy with his studying and her regular babysitter was away for the day. At least he was fast asleep up in his room.
This is for Teddy, she reminded herself. I can't make him think one way or another about her--he can make up his own mind about that.
Yes, it was true that Cissy hadn't directly been involved in the deaths of Ted, Dora or Remus, but her bloody husband most likely had and for that reason in particular, she would never allow Lucius Malfoy into her home or near her grandson. While it was true that Andromeda and Narcissa had, at one point in life, been extremely close as sisters, it was the abandonment of her family when she had fallen in love with Ted that had hurt the worst. But Cissy had made her choice and cut Andromeda out of her life. There were moments over the last twenty-five odd years that she would have loved to have shared with her family, especially her early years as a mother, after Ted lost his mother and she had no one to comfort her and tell her she was doing a good job as a mother when Dora would say 'I hate you, Mother' after one of their rows.
The wall of isolation that she'd been forced to live behind was about to come down. That's all there was to it and whether it would remain down or be built up again bigger than before was up to her sister.
With a deep breath, she stepped to the door and peeked around to the window that framed the door. There Narcissa stood, dressed to the nines, well, maybe sevens, holding her head high and still looking as if she owned the world. Placing a hand on the door knob, she slowly turned it to face her sister for the first time in decades.
The door opened, and Narcissa almost didn't dare look at Andie. But it would have been unforgivably rude not to look at her, so Narcissa did. She let out a tiny breath of relief. Andie looked...carefully neutral--with only a little anger showing, and not the naked hatred that Narcissa had dreaded. Maybe there was hope, after all--except that she had always given the Dark Lord that carefully neutral look, too, and she had hated him.
She skittered away from Andie's expression to take in other details--the hair that was just as she remembered it--thick, warm brown, and as glossy as Bella's, the faint beginning of crow's feet, the look of tiredness and maybe apprehension, the very Muggle clothes.
"H-Hi," Narcissa said--well, meant to say. It came out more as a high-pitched whisper. Narcissa took a breath, let it out, and started over again. "It's good to see you, Andie. Thank you for letting me come."
"Mmm hmmm," she answered through clenched teeth. The sisters stared at each other for a few moments, looking each other up and down. Andromeda knew that Narcissa would be thinking that she dressed too much like a Muggle and that she was letting herself go. Cissy should try losing her family and then see how good she looked.
Narcissa looked, well, like Narcissa. She always was more concerned about the type of image she presented and her clothing reflected that. It surprised Andromeda that her sister even owned anything that resembled Muggle clothing. Lucius surely wouldn't approve.
Narcissa cleared her throat and Andromeda realized they were standing in the open door, still looking at each other. She stepped aside and said, "Come in," as warmly as she could.
"Thank you," Narcissa said softly. Blast it--why couldn't she maintain a normal speaking tone? She stepped inside the living room and tried to soak it all in so she could remember it--the carpet, the curtains, the knick-knacks and photographs, the comfortable-looking sofa and chairs, the lamps.
She would never be able to remember it all, Narcissa realized with a wave of despair. In an hour or so, Andie would shut the door behind her, and they would never see each other again until their funerals.
But she could remember the look of it, Narcissa decided. Andie's living room looked homey and loved in, sort of like--hers and Lucius' bedroom. She had no idea how to draw that, but she would find a way. "I think you've been happy here," she said. "It shows."
"Yes, I have. Thank you. Here, sit down," Andromeda said, pointing to one of the armchairs. "Would you like some tea? It's just Earl Grey."
Narcissa nodded and watched as Andromeda poured out. Andie was pleased that she wasn't shaking, as her insides were tied up in knots and she felt like running away. That wouldn't solve anything, of course, she kept reminding herself.
"Cream, right?" It amazed her that she remembered that after all these years. Or did she? "Or is it lemon?"
"It's cream; thanks," Narcissa said with a faint laugh. "Bella's the one who liked lemon." A frown came over her face for a moment at Bella's name, and then she shook it off and dug a foil-wrapped bundle out of her pocket. "I brought cookies." She set the package on the table and unwrapped the foil. Inside lay a pile of large, chewy oatmeal-raisin cookies. "I hope you're not on a diet."
Andromeda snorted. "Not today." She reached for a cookie that Narcissa had placed on the table and then stopped a few inches from them. A sudden dreadful thought crossed her mind, and she looked at her sister with apprehension. Their eyes connected for several seconds before Andromeda asked what was on her mind, "Did you bake them? You never could bake, and I would hate to have to spit out my favorite type of cookie."
Narcissa looked worriedly at her sister for a moment and then burst out laughing, once Andromeda spoke. "Oh, Merlin, we're a pair! I was afraid maybe you thought I had poisoned them, or something! Yes, I baked them. I spoiled Draco horribly when he was a boy, and I was determined that the house-elf wasn't going to bake sweets for him; I wanted to. I, um--I got better with practice. I promise."
Andromeda eyed her sister carefully and then smiled. "Well, if you say so." She reached out and grabbed one of the cookies from her sister's package and slowly lifted it to her mouth and took a bite. "Oh."
Narcissa's mouth formed into a worried expression.
"I mean...wow. You certainly have got better, Narcissa." She took another bite. "Mmmm...you know, you could sell these!" she said with her mouth full and put the remainder in her mouth and chewed with her mouth closed, enjoying every flavour. "So tell me, how many batches did you have to practice on to get it right?"
"Oh, god, that was years ago...Lots of batches," Narcissa admitted. She took a deep swallow of tea and bit into a cookie, herself. "I finally got the oven temperature right, but then I was putting in too much oatmeal, and they would come out like rocks--or they would fall apart. Then I learned that margarine is a lot more watery than butter, and I had to account for that, too. I thought I would never learn to cook."
"Lard. Use lard. Don't worry about the fat content. Everything tastes better with lard. Cookies, pie crust, scones...you name it. Use lard," Andromeda advised, taking another cookie. As she chewed, she suddenly realized that she was having a very polite conversation with her estranged sister over baking, which was really very odd, to say the least.
Narcissa came over to talk about their relationship, not about thier baking efforts. Andromeda lifted her cup of tea to her lips and took a sip to wash down the cookie.
"So, you wanted to talk. I'm listening."
Narcissa coughed on a cookie crumb. She could feel the nervousness coming back. Everything had felt so natural for a few moments, just like it ought to be between them, just two sisters talking about the best kind of shortening to make cookies with.
She took a hasty swallow of tea to wash the crumbs down, took a breath, and looked back at her sister. "Andie, I don't know if there's anything I can say or do to make things right between us. Twenty years of not bothering to be a part of your life is an awfully long time, and--and--it's a lot of hurt. I don't think saying, 'I'm so sorry' to you makes up for that, at all. I--I don't know what can. But I had to try. I don't want to live the rest of my life never speaking to you again. I was so...arrogant; thought I knew it all. I refused to see."
Andromeda looked at the sadness which had come over her sister's face, taken aback by what she saw, never expecting to feel her pain in the pit of her own stomach. Everything she said was true. Sorry didn't even begin to cover everything but the fact that Narcissa was the one who initiated contact meant a great deal. It showed Andromeda that perhaps change could begin. That maybe. just maybe, she could have a sister at most, or a friend at least.
"So why did you keep it up, the charade? Why didn't you just say to him," the 'him' of course being Lucius, "that you wanted nothing to do with the whole mess and leave? You're a grown woman who can make her own choices. Why did you let him control your life like that? No man is worth losing your own identity." Andromeda took another sip of her tea. "I guess that's one of the things that makes you and I different, doesn't it? But then again, in a way, I lost my family identity the second I chose Ted over our family"
"That's just it, Andie--it wasn't a charade. I really was that much of a fool and a snob. I really did believe all of that rubbish--not the 'All Muggles must die' part, but the part about purebloods being better than everyone else. And if things went on under my roof that I didn't exactly agree with, I could turn a blind eye to them, just as I always did with Bella, growing up. It was easier than actually questioning the way things were and getting ridiculed for it or risking Bella's temper. It--it took Draco's life being threatened for almost two years, for me to finally understand how horribly stupid I was about everything I had believed and done. It took seeing things with my own eyes that I never wanted to see. Purebloods weren't any better than Muggles; we were in fact worse. Some of us were murdering and torturing people right and left--all in the name of our supposed superiority. Bella did it with positive glee." Narcissa shuddered. "I hated her, by the time she died. I wanted to kill her, myself. Had her cremated, so she couldn't rise again--because I figured, if Bella could find a way, she would, just like the Dark Lord did.
"As for saying anything to him--you didn't say things to the Dark Lord that he didn't like. Even the people high in his favor knew better than that. We just kept our heads down and prayed he wouldn't notice us too often." Narcissa looked at her sister. "I've been a coward all my life, Andie, and my cowardice has cost you--and us."
"Believe it or not, I can imagine the conflict within you without having experienced it myself." Andromeda put her tea cup on the table and sat back in her chair, folding her hands in her lap. "Muggles did something similar to each other about fifty years ago, around the same time Grindelweld was going 'round terrorizing our world. People just sat by and watched their neighbors being carted away, never to be seen again and didn't say anything. So yes, I agree with you, the people you once associated yourself with are no better than Muggles." She took a deep breath and planned her next words carefully. "The kind of prejudice displayed in both worlds is appalling and I hope one day, blood status doesn't mean anything to anyone."
Andromeda smiled to herself, remembering the speeches that Ted used to give to crowds back in the days before Dora came a long. He got caught up in all the civil rights stuff that was going on in the sixties and seventies. In fact, the type of things Ted would talk about were exactly why Andromeda chose to break from her family.
"Ted's the one who taught me about the ugliness of prejudice, whether it was Muggle or wizard. We're all human and have the same failings. What matters most is how we deal with things when confronted by injustice."
Andromeda wasn't trying to sound like she was giving a speech; it was just the way she was. She'd lived through all sorts of prejudice in her life and all she wanted was for her sister to see that.
"Please don't think I'm belittling what you went through. Just understand that there is a lot of pain on both sides," she said as she leaned forward and took her sisters hand, touching her for the first time in decades.
The touch on her hand was the last thing Narcissa had expected. She grasped her sister's hand in return and felt her eyes welling. "I know you're not belittling it; you're being respectful." She bit her lip. "It's going to take a while for all of my old attitudes to go, Andie. I've worn them like a banner for over twenty years, and they're not going to vanish overnight. Looking down on other people is easy, and some people are hard to respect. But I know it's got to happen. Otherwise, we won't deserve the second chance we were given. And I won't deserve the second chance you're giving me."
"To tell you the truth, you weren't the one who convinced me."
Andromeda took notice of her sister's shocked expression and the sudden look of fear in her eyes.
"It was actually my daughter."
Narcissa relaxed noticeably yet with a look of confusion on her face.
"The other night, I had a dream. Now, I don't put much stock in the likes of Sybil Trelawney and her lot, but I dremat about Dora. Well, you probably don't know this, but she was a Metamorphmagus. All her life, people looked at her as something to be studied and stared at. Add that to her half-blood status and people really managed to be very cruel to her."
Narcissa nodded in agreement; Andromeda could almost hear the wheels turning in her sister's head.
"But she ignored all that and lived her life the way she wanted to. She became an Auror when people thought she was too clumsy." Andromeda smiled as she remembered Dora complaining loudly about her stealth class and instructor. "She was looked down upon because there just aren't all that many women who chose that field.
"But you know, one of the best things she ever did was fall in love with Remus...things weren't easy for a half-blood Metamorphmagus and a half-blood werewolf known to be on the side of Harry Potter."
Andromeda paused to take a sip of her tea, hoping to hold back the tears that were threatening to flow.
"Well, in the dream, she reminded me of all this and that I should give her son a chance to have a normal life, whatever that may be. It won't be easy for me, Narcissa, but I'm willing to try. For Teddy."
Narcissa nodded. "We'll do things for our children that we might never dream of doing for ourselves. Our love for them brings out the best in us--or at least gives us the strength to do those things." She sighed. "I wish I had taken the time to know Dora and Ted, but I doubt they'd have liked the person I was until recently." She paused. "I have a--harder time accepting Remus. I heard about their marriage, and I was appalled that Dora had married a werewolf. I've known a werewolf. He was--not someone I'd want to see my niece married to. I think he'd have happily bitten me or anyone else, just for the sake of doing it."
Never before had Andromeda admitted to anyone that at first, she felt the same way about Remus. She was frightened at first and wouldn't allow him in her home. It took much convincing from Nymphadora to change her mind. She debated sharing this information and decided that if she did, it might just help her sister.
"To tell you the truth, I felt the same way, at first."
Narcissa gasped audibly.
"But you know, he didn't live like a werewolf. He dealt with it as one would deal with a disability, making adjustments in his everyday life. He was really a very intelligent, well-read man with interests as sophisticated as what we grew up with. Wolfsbane Potion saved him. It took away much of the violence of his transformation. He'd often describe himself as a tired dog sleeping in the corner when he transformed."
Her heart tightened as she thought of Remus, his gentle voice and the way his face brightened when he'd look at Dora and Teddy.
Narcissa eyes widened with surprise. "So he...didn't like being a werewolf. It makes a little more sense, now. He taught Draco Defence during his third year at Hogwarts. Perhaps that's why Albus Dumbledore hired him. At the time, I was just horrified that a werewolf had been allowed to teach our children. If I recall, Draco liked him better than his previous two Defence professors--until that information came out."
She gave Andromeda a curious look. "What is Teddy like? Is he a werewolf, too?"
"No, he's not. Lychanthropy isn't hereditary. Actually," Andromeda began with a wide smile, "Teddy's a Metamorphmagus, too. Turquoise is his favourite hair colour. I did some research, and it's very rare that a mother has a son with the same abilities. It's usually females. Makes him all the more precious to me."
Andromeda's eyes wandered to the mantel, where she had several pictures. She non-verbally summoned a picture of Dora, Remus and Teddy that was taken the week before the battle at Hogwarts. Once the photograph was in her hand, she handed it to her sister.
"That's them the week before..." She tried swallowed hard, trying to contain the tears that were forming and praying that she would not be overcome with sobs.
Narcissa glanced at Andromeda for a moment, waiting for her to finish the sentence. Then it hit her, and she clasped her sister's hand. Only then did she look at the photograph. A young woman who looked unmistakably like Andromeda held a baby in her arms as she stood next to a smiling, somewhat careworn-looking man with graying hair.
It was the first time Narcissa had ever seen Nymphadora, and she looked at the family with wonder. "She looks just like you," Narcissa whispered. "And Remus--looks like a very decent man, not at all like--" She cut off her own sentence, not caring to discuss Fenrir Greyback right now. She looked at her sister. "They're beautiful, Andie."
She couldn't help it. She broke down and began to sob, all sorts of emotions and memories flooding her. She sobbed while she remembered the joy of when she got married and the despair that her family had deserted her. She sobbed at the recollection at the bliss of Dora's birth and the nasty words her mother spoke upon hearing of her granddaughter's birth. She was flooded with recollections of her last night with Ted and then was hit with the reality of his death. She sobbed at memories of Teddy's birth and the pit of sadness in her stomach that he will never know his parents.
This was the first time she had broken down and wept openly in front of anyone and the fact that she did it in front of her sister was strangely appropriate. Narcissa's arms went round her shoulders and held her as the sobs continued to rack her body.
Narcissa let Andromeda cry without making any attempt to calm her. If anyone had a right to unbridled grief, it was her sister, Narcissa felt. And having Andromeda openly crying made it possible for the wall around her own emotions to finally shatter. She didn't have to be strong or impassive in front of anyone, at this moment, didn't have to hide. It started with disgust at her own arrogance for the past twenty-five years and ran through the gamut of everything that had gone on for the previous year or so. At last, it came out in a torrent--the murders and tortures she hadn't dared prevent, the constant terror for Draco and Lucius, the understanding that life could never be the same again, even if she hadn't lost anyone she loved, and the frightening knowledge that she could never be the same, even though Voldemort was dead.
Finally, the tears slowed, and Narcissa wiped a sleeve across her eyes. "How did we get to be the only human members of our family?" she mumbled, still leaning against Andromeda and not particularly wanting to let her go.
Upon hearing Narcissa's voice, Andromeda sat up, letting her sister's arms fall off her shoulders. For a few moments, the two of them just sat there, tears trails drying into salty tracks. Finally, Andromeda began to speak.
"Harry mentioned that you did something for him in the forest, but he never explained. All he said was that he owed you his life."
Narcissa sniffled. "I wasn't being noble or anything, Andie. I told the Dark Lord that Harry was dead when I knew Harry was alive." At Andromeda's startled look, Narcissa went on.
"We were stuck out in the woods near Hogwarts with the Dark Lord. Harry came upon us, and the Dark Lord cast Avada Kedavra on him--and it knocked Harry to the ground." Narcissa cleared her throat. "The Dark Lord told one of us to make sure Harry was dead, and I went to check him. And he--he wasn't dead. I don't think I've ever been so shocked in my life; I had to use Occlumency to hide the shock. For a moment, I was furious! I've--I've seen them commit murders, Andie. How dared he still be alive when so many others have died from that spell--innocent people--yet he was on the ground, still breathing? What the hell was so special about him?
"Then I figured, if Harry had survived the Dark Lord twice, maybe he truly was destined to kill him. By then, I wanted the Dark Lord dead so much I could taste it. And maybe, if the Dark Lord thought Harry was dead, Lucius and I could get into Hogwarts and find Draco before someone killed him. Draco had been made to do the Dark Lord's little 'errands' for the past two years." Narcissa scowled. "So I told everyone Harry was dead. And Harry let Hagrid pick him up, and then we all went into Hogwarts. The--the rest, you know. I stopped thinking about anything but Draco after we got inside."
Andromeda sniffed as her tears dried up and her composure returned.
"I see."
That's really all she could say. Her sister, whom she thought was loyal to Voldemort, openly lied and disobeyed the evil man and their domineering sister to save the life of Harry and her son. Amazing.
"Harry is Teddy's godfather. Remus and Dora chose him." Andromeda smiled. "I can't think of anyone better. He's so good with him. I think he wants to make sure that Teddy has a much better life than he had. In fact, he babysat Teddy the other weekend when Molly and I went to Bath for a vacation."
Narcissa was quiet, almost as if she was processing the information and trying to wrap her head around the fact that either Harry was Teddy's godfather or she was friends with Molly Weasley.
"Harry Potter babysat Teddy for a weekend?" Narcissa echoed, her eyes wide with amazement. She glanced back and forth from the photograph to Andromeda. "That must be love, because I can't imagine Draco changing anyone's nappies--not even for pay." She reached for her teacup and drank some more tea. "How was Bath?" she asked.
"Heavenly. We got massages, facials and walked in the Roman baths. It was amazing." Andromeda sighed as she remembered the trip. "Harry did a great job with Teddy, and now when I say 'Harry,' his hair changes to black. But he had help--Ginny Weasley was here with him, too."
"I hope she made Harry change Teddy at least some of the time," Narcissa said with a grin. She nibbled on another cookie. "Bath sounds fantastic. Did you visit the Pump Room? I've never been, but I used to read Regency romance novels, and they would talk about it."
"Oh I remember you reading them! You'd get absorbed for DAYS reading that trash!" Andromeda shook her head as she remembered a teenaged Narcissa reading novel after novel about ladies and the rakes that seduced them, making them unsuitable for a 'proper' marriage and all that rot.
"We had lunch there before we left and I have to say it was a bit intimidating. I think you'd fit in there better than Molly or I. Ginny did say that after Harry's initial shock at Teddy's nappies, he did almost every one after that."
A shrill cry from Teddy's room caused Andromeda to turn, and she noticed her own demeanor change immediately.
"I...I'm sorry, Cissy, but I think it's time you left. I have to feed him again and I'm just...just not ready to have him meet you yet," she said solemnly, hoping her sister would understand. "It's been lovely talking to you. Really it has."
Narcissa blinked in mild surprise, but she nodded. "Hogwarts wasn't built in a day," she said. "I can wait to see him until you feel comfortable." She looked into Andromeda's eyes. "Thank you so much for letting me come, Andie. It means more to me than I can ever say." She hugged Andromeda. "I guess you'd better feed that boy before he wakes the neighborhood."
"He won't. Harry made sure to put up an extra strong charm on the house when he was here and I never bothered to take it down," she answered, and they both chuckled. They walked silently to the door, and they stood for a moment in the open doorway before exchanging hugs once again.
As they drew apart, Andromeda looked at her sister, silhouetted in the light from the street lamps and smiled.
"I'll send an owl. Maybe we can have lunch sometime."
"Lunch sounds wonderful," Narcissa said, unable to restrain a smile. In the house, Teddy reminded them once again that he wanted dinner. "I'll see you later, Andie."
It was a promise.