Blaine is NOT a Fish-Person
Title: Blaine is NOT a Fish-Person
Fandom: Glee/Doctor Who
Written: December, 2010
Rating: PG
Words: 1100
Summary: It's all Rory's fault that Blaine finds out about Kurt's time as a time-and-space traveler. Also that the Doctor interrupted his first ever time making out with his boyfriend. Thanks, Rory.
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It's all Rory's fault that Blaine finds out about Kurt's three-month-and-three-day period as a time and space traveler. Well, to be honest, it's all Rory's fault that Kurt's period as a time and space traveler was only three months and three days, but he's not exactly complaining because Rory had made good on his promise to keep in touch. (Because Amy and the Doctor are kind of terrible at that.)
Kurt would have been happy to leave his old life in Lima behind for good, but Rory had felt the need to mention that Kurt was still in school and had a family and friends who would probably notice and panic. So the Doctor, after two months and three days' consideration - because stuff just kept happening to distract him, which totally wasn't Kurt or Amy's fault, so stop looking at them like that! - had dropped him back in Lima, a mere two hours after he had left.
At least Rory had felt guilty about it, because he had been calling Kurt up on a weekly basis to check in on him. He puts Kurt on speaker when he does that, so Kurt can hear the other two arguing in the background and then yelling at Rory when they realize that he's been talking to Kurt and hasn't told them. It's nice, knowing that there's a nine-hundred-and-eight year old alien and his married companions there to look out for you. The promise to come get him as soon as he graduates high school is kind of awesome, too.
And then Blaine comes along and changes everything.
Because Kurt is quite certain that he is in love with Blaine, which would cause quite a problem if he really was to disappear into the TARDIS forever. Pining away after someone was not on the agenda back when the Doctor had dropped him off.
Which is why he would have liked to have had a warning of the Doctor's plans to kidnap him over winter break rather than have the TARDIS materialize outside his dorm building and, seconds later, have the Doctor break into his dorm room with the sonic screwdriver. Because that means the Doctor may or may not have just walked in on Kurt's first ever time making out with a boy, and he may or may not be letting out these little breathy moans that he definitely didn't want anyone but Blaine to hear, and he and Blaine may or may not be wearing significantly less clothing than usual.
And he probably could have lived with that level of embarrassment, but then the Doctor let out a strangled yell and full-on tackled Blaine to the ground, screwdriver buzzing and shouting, "I thought all you fish people had gone!"
"Hey!" Blaine tries to get up, but the Doctor is perched on his legs and isn't budging. "What's going on?" He swats at the sonic screwdriver, frowning. "Who are you?"
"Doctor!" Kurt is on his feet, grabbing at the Doctor's arm and hauling him off. "What the hell?"
"Kurt!" The Doctor hugs him tightly, then holds him at arm's length and says, "You haven't lost any blood, have you?" He stares intently into Kurt's eyes, mumbling, "No… no, you look okay." He points the sonic at Kurt, buzzing it right in his face, then abruptly shoving Kurt behind him. "No, hang on, there's a fish person and I have to protect you!"
"Kurt?" Blaine looks kind of helpless from where he's laying sprawled on the floor, disheveled clothing only making his situation seem worse. "What's going on?"
"Doctor!" Kurt repeats, getting the alien's attention. "Stop it! Blaine's not a fish person."
"Are you quite sure?" the Doctor asks, looking Kurt straight in the eyes again. "Then why was he sucking at your neck?"
Kurt resists the temptation to slap the Doctor with difficulty. Instead he steps around the alien to help Blaine up. His boyfriend is trembling slightly, obviously confused and wondering whether he should be worried for his sanity. It's then that Kurt realizes that the Doctor is still wearing a fez, no doubt having managed to get his hands on another one after Amy had thrown Fez #17 into a supernova.
"Who is that?" Blaine asks, eyes wide.
"You're not going to believe me, but this is the Doctor," Kurt says, hastily buttoning up his shirt. "He's a time-traveling alien who's nine hundred years old and he has the tact of a three year old. I used to travel with him and Rory and Amy. Speaking of whom, where are they?"
"Out in the TARDIS," the Doctor grins. "It was Rory's idea to surprise you with a trip for winter break."
"He would," Kurt shakes his head, having every intention of punching Rory in the face when he saw him next. "And I don't get a warning because?"
"Because it's a surprise," the Doctor repeats. "Hang on, you still haven't answered my question." He points the sonic at Blaine menacingly again. "What is this Blaine creature?"
"He's my boyfriend," Kurt laces their fingers together for emphasis. The Doctor looks confused, his mouth twisting and one eyebrow rising. Then he frowns, looking up to the ceiling, clearly trying to figure something out. Kurt can practically see the wheels turning ever-so-slowly in the alien's head as he clearly tries to figure out why someone's boyfriend would suck on their neck. It takes him about two minutes, but then his mouth opens in a little 'o' and he points from Blaine to Kurt to the window to himself to his hair to Blaine to the window and then he takes his fez off, throws it in the air, and places it back on his head.
"Got it," he finally says.
"I'm still confused," Blaine announces.
"Button your shirt," Kurt tells him, releasing his hand. "And don't worry about it; the Doctor's just a dork."
"Oy!" the Doctor points the sonic at him. "Don't make me regret coming to get you, young man. Now, I'm off. Are you coming?"
"Yes," Kurt says, nodding determinedly. "Come on, Blaine." He grabs Blaine's hand, tugging him out of the room and following the Doctor out of the building until he can see the familiar blue box sitting innocently next to the big oak tree.
"Why is there a police box on campus?" Blaine asks. "And why is this weird Doctor-man going inside it?"
"Don't worry about it," Kurt repeats his earlier statement. "Just get in. I'll explain everything once I punch Rory in the face."
And he pushes Blaine inside the TARDIS.
Fandom: Glee/Doctor Who
Written: December, 2010
Rating: PG
Words: 1100
Summary: It's all Rory's fault that Blaine finds out about Kurt's time as a time-and-space traveler. Also that the Doctor interrupted his first ever time making out with his boyfriend. Thanks, Rory.
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It's all Rory's fault that Blaine finds out about Kurt's three-month-and-three-day period as a time and space traveler. Well, to be honest, it's all Rory's fault that Kurt's period as a time and space traveler was only three months and three days, but he's not exactly complaining because Rory had made good on his promise to keep in touch. (Because Amy and the Doctor are kind of terrible at that.)
Kurt would have been happy to leave his old life in Lima behind for good, but Rory had felt the need to mention that Kurt was still in school and had a family and friends who would probably notice and panic. So the Doctor, after two months and three days' consideration - because stuff just kept happening to distract him, which totally wasn't Kurt or Amy's fault, so stop looking at them like that! - had dropped him back in Lima, a mere two hours after he had left.
At least Rory had felt guilty about it, because he had been calling Kurt up on a weekly basis to check in on him. He puts Kurt on speaker when he does that, so Kurt can hear the other two arguing in the background and then yelling at Rory when they realize that he's been talking to Kurt and hasn't told them. It's nice, knowing that there's a nine-hundred-and-eight year old alien and his married companions there to look out for you. The promise to come get him as soon as he graduates high school is kind of awesome, too.
And then Blaine comes along and changes everything.
Because Kurt is quite certain that he is in love with Blaine, which would cause quite a problem if he really was to disappear into the TARDIS forever. Pining away after someone was not on the agenda back when the Doctor had dropped him off.
Which is why he would have liked to have had a warning of the Doctor's plans to kidnap him over winter break rather than have the TARDIS materialize outside his dorm building and, seconds later, have the Doctor break into his dorm room with the sonic screwdriver. Because that means the Doctor may or may not have just walked in on Kurt's first ever time making out with a boy, and he may or may not be letting out these little breathy moans that he definitely didn't want anyone but Blaine to hear, and he and Blaine may or may not be wearing significantly less clothing than usual.
And he probably could have lived with that level of embarrassment, but then the Doctor let out a strangled yell and full-on tackled Blaine to the ground, screwdriver buzzing and shouting, "I thought all you fish people had gone!"
"Hey!" Blaine tries to get up, but the Doctor is perched on his legs and isn't budging. "What's going on?" He swats at the sonic screwdriver, frowning. "Who are you?"
"Doctor!" Kurt is on his feet, grabbing at the Doctor's arm and hauling him off. "What the hell?"
"Kurt!" The Doctor hugs him tightly, then holds him at arm's length and says, "You haven't lost any blood, have you?" He stares intently into Kurt's eyes, mumbling, "No… no, you look okay." He points the sonic at Kurt, buzzing it right in his face, then abruptly shoving Kurt behind him. "No, hang on, there's a fish person and I have to protect you!"
"Kurt?" Blaine looks kind of helpless from where he's laying sprawled on the floor, disheveled clothing only making his situation seem worse. "What's going on?"
"Doctor!" Kurt repeats, getting the alien's attention. "Stop it! Blaine's not a fish person."
"Are you quite sure?" the Doctor asks, looking Kurt straight in the eyes again. "Then why was he sucking at your neck?"
Kurt resists the temptation to slap the Doctor with difficulty. Instead he steps around the alien to help Blaine up. His boyfriend is trembling slightly, obviously confused and wondering whether he should be worried for his sanity. It's then that Kurt realizes that the Doctor is still wearing a fez, no doubt having managed to get his hands on another one after Amy had thrown Fez #17 into a supernova.
"Who is that?" Blaine asks, eyes wide.
"You're not going to believe me, but this is the Doctor," Kurt says, hastily buttoning up his shirt. "He's a time-traveling alien who's nine hundred years old and he has the tact of a three year old. I used to travel with him and Rory and Amy. Speaking of whom, where are they?"
"Out in the TARDIS," the Doctor grins. "It was Rory's idea to surprise you with a trip for winter break."
"He would," Kurt shakes his head, having every intention of punching Rory in the face when he saw him next. "And I don't get a warning because?"
"Because it's a surprise," the Doctor repeats. "Hang on, you still haven't answered my question." He points the sonic at Blaine menacingly again. "What is this Blaine creature?"
"He's my boyfriend," Kurt laces their fingers together for emphasis. The Doctor looks confused, his mouth twisting and one eyebrow rising. Then he frowns, looking up to the ceiling, clearly trying to figure something out. Kurt can practically see the wheels turning ever-so-slowly in the alien's head as he clearly tries to figure out why someone's boyfriend would suck on their neck. It takes him about two minutes, but then his mouth opens in a little 'o' and he points from Blaine to Kurt to the window to himself to his hair to Blaine to the window and then he takes his fez off, throws it in the air, and places it back on his head.
"Got it," he finally says.
"I'm still confused," Blaine announces.
"Button your shirt," Kurt tells him, releasing his hand. "And don't worry about it; the Doctor's just a dork."
"Oy!" the Doctor points the sonic at him. "Don't make me regret coming to get you, young man. Now, I'm off. Are you coming?"
"Yes," Kurt says, nodding determinedly. "Come on, Blaine." He grabs Blaine's hand, tugging him out of the room and following the Doctor out of the building until he can see the familiar blue box sitting innocently next to the big oak tree.
"Why is there a police box on campus?" Blaine asks. "And why is this weird Doctor-man going inside it?"
"Don't worry about it," Kurt repeats his earlier statement. "Just get in. I'll explain everything once I punch Rory in the face."
And he pushes Blaine inside the TARDIS.