Half a Year and Half a Life Later, it Seems...
So, it's been a while, since my lone previous post. A lot has changed. Really, a lot a lot a lot. It's overwhelming to think about summarizing it, but I will make a valiant attempt:
In May, I quit my job as a wedding consultant because I had ethical issues with the company. Ensuing months were then spent trying to get another job, and repeatedly changing my mind as to what exactly I should be looking for, mostly circling around general office work. Altogether, no luck, and I finally hit desperation and called a friend who'd mentioned that the company he worked for was hiring. Thus, I started valeting cars. Seriously. It was a part-time thing and it was...an experience. One I don't intend to repeat.
It was a difficult summer. Robert's dad was hospitalized and very sick, miserably dying. After he passed, the day after the funeral actually, I got the call that my grandfather was in the hospital, and he proceeded to miserably die in almost exactly the same way. But while he was still hanging on, barely, at the end of July, Robert broke up with me. Well, it later turned out that he'd thought I was about to break up with him (which I wasn't), and what he'd really wanted was just to tell me that he no longer saw a long-term future for us, and thought we should re-think the nature of our relationship, but I didn't need to leave.
I don't like doing things halfway. So it was over, and when he went outside for a cigarette, I called my mom and asked if I could take her up on her earlier offer of the spare bedroom at her house in Pasadena. She was busy at the hospital but said yes - though it would have to wait until after things with her dad were over, and she could think straight. Thus began the waiting game.
Two days after The Talk - I was off to Costume College. Friday morning, I got the call that my grandfather had died during the night, and I spent probably two hours pacing back and forth from one end of the hotel complex to the other, unable to sort out my head. Then I ran into Shawn and Amy. Amy asked how I was, and I believe my answer was "Um, terrible, actually." She gave me a big hug and I took up wandering around with them, and put a lot of things out of my head. Despite everything, it was a fantastic weekend. I had an amazing time - and to think I seriously considered not going. I'm SO glad I went.
Costume College, of course, inspired about a million project ideas, none of which I've been able to do anything about, since I was stuck playing the waiting the waiting game until after BOTH of the memorial services for my grandfather, and my mom felt things had stabilized enough that she could survive the incursion, so I spent a lot of time trying to organize my stuff and my life, packing, and doing a whole lot of thinking. August was rough. I finally moved officially around the end of the month, and it was a relief.
Now, my bedroom may be tiny, but it's mine! I'm living in a charming 1912 craftsman in Pasadena, and just starting to explore the area, and also exploring various neighborhoods of LA when opportunities arise. God, it's good to be out of Orange County. But I don't know anyone around here! Very distressing. So, I'm trying to get properly settled in, and looking for a real job, and hoping to start doing some sewing again. I really miss making stuff.
Current goals:
-Buy a desk and table and create a long workspace in my room
-Buy under-bed bins from Ikea to store books in
-Finish inputting books into LibraryThing, organize them, and put them away
-Learn to dance - bellydancing DVD (no one is EVER seeing that!), ballroom and swing lessons, being less self-conscious...
-Donate/sell extraneous DVDs, books, vintage clothes, etc.
-Take photos of and some patterns off vintage clothes before selling them
-Put shelves up on walls for extra storage
-Make curtains so the sun stops killing me
-Get a job, preferably the one I interviewed for on Friday
-Sew!
-Go to the Cicada Club...sometime....because I've never been!
-Be better about finishing the things I start
-Spend time with awesome people in THIS county
-See more live music
-Write. Write. Write!
Stream-of-consciousness blogging. Yeah.
Sometimes I'm actually interesting, I swear.
Here's another goal:
-Be happy, without being in love. Not that I have anything against being in love, and really, I do want to be again, at some point...but not yet. Not now. I want to get better at just being me before I try to fit my life with another person's again. What I could use is friends to hang out with. =)
And that is my chaotic little update. A lot of crap has happened - okay - what now? Good things, I think. I hope. I am determined! Because life is full of beautiful things and so many possibilities, and I'm excited. I don't know where everything is going to lead, and that's okay. As long as there is peanut butter toast, everything will be all right!
In May, I quit my job as a wedding consultant because I had ethical issues with the company. Ensuing months were then spent trying to get another job, and repeatedly changing my mind as to what exactly I should be looking for, mostly circling around general office work. Altogether, no luck, and I finally hit desperation and called a friend who'd mentioned that the company he worked for was hiring. Thus, I started valeting cars. Seriously. It was a part-time thing and it was...an experience. One I don't intend to repeat.
It was a difficult summer. Robert's dad was hospitalized and very sick, miserably dying. After he passed, the day after the funeral actually, I got the call that my grandfather was in the hospital, and he proceeded to miserably die in almost exactly the same way. But while he was still hanging on, barely, at the end of July, Robert broke up with me. Well, it later turned out that he'd thought I was about to break up with him (which I wasn't), and what he'd really wanted was just to tell me that he no longer saw a long-term future for us, and thought we should re-think the nature of our relationship, but I didn't need to leave.
I don't like doing things halfway. So it was over, and when he went outside for a cigarette, I called my mom and asked if I could take her up on her earlier offer of the spare bedroom at her house in Pasadena. She was busy at the hospital but said yes - though it would have to wait until after things with her dad were over, and she could think straight. Thus began the waiting game.
Two days after The Talk - I was off to Costume College. Friday morning, I got the call that my grandfather had died during the night, and I spent probably two hours pacing back and forth from one end of the hotel complex to the other, unable to sort out my head. Then I ran into Shawn and Amy. Amy asked how I was, and I believe my answer was "Um, terrible, actually." She gave me a big hug and I took up wandering around with them, and put a lot of things out of my head. Despite everything, it was a fantastic weekend. I had an amazing time - and to think I seriously considered not going. I'm SO glad I went.
Costume College, of course, inspired about a million project ideas, none of which I've been able to do anything about, since I was stuck playing the waiting the waiting game until after BOTH of the memorial services for my grandfather, and my mom felt things had stabilized enough that she could survive the incursion, so I spent a lot of time trying to organize my stuff and my life, packing, and doing a whole lot of thinking. August was rough. I finally moved officially around the end of the month, and it was a relief.
Now, my bedroom may be tiny, but it's mine! I'm living in a charming 1912 craftsman in Pasadena, and just starting to explore the area, and also exploring various neighborhoods of LA when opportunities arise. God, it's good to be out of Orange County. But I don't know anyone around here! Very distressing. So, I'm trying to get properly settled in, and looking for a real job, and hoping to start doing some sewing again. I really miss making stuff.
Current goals:
-Buy a desk and table and create a long workspace in my room
-Buy under-bed bins from Ikea to store books in
-Finish inputting books into LibraryThing, organize them, and put them away
-Learn to dance - bellydancing DVD (no one is EVER seeing that!), ballroom and swing lessons, being less self-conscious...
-Donate/sell extraneous DVDs, books, vintage clothes, etc.
-Take photos of and some patterns off vintage clothes before selling them
-Put shelves up on walls for extra storage
-Make curtains so the sun stops killing me
-Get a job, preferably the one I interviewed for on Friday
-Sew!
-Go to the Cicada Club...sometime....because I've never been!
-Be better about finishing the things I start
-Spend time with awesome people in THIS county
-See more live music
-Write. Write. Write!
Stream-of-consciousness blogging. Yeah.
Sometimes I'm actually interesting, I swear.
Here's another goal:
-Be happy, without being in love. Not that I have anything against being in love, and really, I do want to be again, at some point...but not yet. Not now. I want to get better at just being me before I try to fit my life with another person's again. What I could use is friends to hang out with. =)
And that is my chaotic little update. A lot of crap has happened - okay - what now? Good things, I think. I hope. I am determined! Because life is full of beautiful things and so many possibilities, and I'm excited. I don't know where everything is going to lead, and that's okay. As long as there is peanut butter toast, everything will be all right!