you and me: always between the lines (sunny/tiffany)
you and me, always between the lines
sunny/tiffany, college au-niverse
drabble; pg-13; 623 words
Nails rattle against the casing of a phone as the clock strikes two. "It's too late, she's never going to pick up." Breath catches in her throat as each ring begins to stretch itself out. A second feels like ten, and two like twenty. Maybe it was a bad idea to even try.
"Hello?"
The familiar voice is raspier than usual - that same scratchiness that she could remember finding so endearing after waking up from a long night of marathoning through their favorite movies during their early teens, or an impromptu nap during one of their more boring classes when they were still in high school. It was enough to make her want to smile but the nerves that he needed that for had been taking a holiday as of late. They were as good as a thousand miles away from her.
God, she loved her so much.
"Sunkyu?" Strained, it hurt for her to even say that much. She hadn't been doing much talking as of late. Air that, in the past, had been filled with rampant ramblings that neither her roommates or close friends were ever genuinely interested in had been replaced with low, pathetic sobs. Crying for hours on end - until her eyes were raw and the wall of her throat felt like it had been covered by a film of sandpaper.
"Tiffany, it's two in the morning… are…" She could imagine her friend dozing off on the other end. Her stomach dropped at the though - she hated being an inconvenience but her fingers had taken action before her brain could come into play and tell them to wait until a more reasonable hour to call. "Sorry, I dozed back off for a second. Are you okay?"
Was she okay?
This wasn't really a question she'd posed to herself yet. Others had asked her - Taeyeon, Seohyun, Jessica, her dad, the man who worked the cash register at the nearest food market (the only place she'd been willing to leave her apartment for). And… now her. She'd asked her now and it was like taking a bullet to the heart. She knew how she was feeling. She knew that she was hurting, but most importantly was what she didn't know
She didn't know that she was in love with her.
Love was supposed to be something simple, something wonderful but she'd never been too lucky in it. Her dad always told her (albeit, over hours long phone calls, but still adamantly) that she deserved all the love in the world. That she was created from and build on the love she had for others, and that she received back in return. It was necessarily a lie but that hadn't made things any easier for her.
"I don't know…" Barely above a whisper, her fingers slipped down the touch pad of the phone screen, tapping on the speaker option. Her digits were beginning to feel gelatinous - it was difficult to keep anything in their grasp.
"You don't know?"
Eyelashes fluttered toward the top half of her bedroom, her gaze locked on the tiles. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…, she wasn't sure how many times she'd done that in the past few days. Counting them over and over again. It'd gotten to the point where he could continue doing so even after closing her eyes; even after falling into a deep slumber.
"You know I love you, right?"
The words struck her ears like nails across a chalkboard. She was supposed to be happy hearing this, right? She'd said that she loved her - this was what she wanted, and maybe someday hearing it could warm her heart but until then… "Yeah."
She perked up her voice for good measure.
She may have loved her, but she loved him more.
sunny/tiffany, college au-niverse
drabble; pg-13; 623 words
Nails rattle against the casing of a phone as the clock strikes two. "It's too late, she's never going to pick up." Breath catches in her throat as each ring begins to stretch itself out. A second feels like ten, and two like twenty. Maybe it was a bad idea to even try.
"Hello?"
The familiar voice is raspier than usual - that same scratchiness that she could remember finding so endearing after waking up from a long night of marathoning through their favorite movies during their early teens, or an impromptu nap during one of their more boring classes when they were still in high school. It was enough to make her want to smile but the nerves that he needed that for had been taking a holiday as of late. They were as good as a thousand miles away from her.
God, she loved her so much.
"Sunkyu?" Strained, it hurt for her to even say that much. She hadn't been doing much talking as of late. Air that, in the past, had been filled with rampant ramblings that neither her roommates or close friends were ever genuinely interested in had been replaced with low, pathetic sobs. Crying for hours on end - until her eyes were raw and the wall of her throat felt like it had been covered by a film of sandpaper.
"Tiffany, it's two in the morning… are…" She could imagine her friend dozing off on the other end. Her stomach dropped at the though - she hated being an inconvenience but her fingers had taken action before her brain could come into play and tell them to wait until a more reasonable hour to call. "Sorry, I dozed back off for a second. Are you okay?"
Was she okay?
This wasn't really a question she'd posed to herself yet. Others had asked her - Taeyeon, Seohyun, Jessica, her dad, the man who worked the cash register at the nearest food market (the only place she'd been willing to leave her apartment for). And… now her. She'd asked her now and it was like taking a bullet to the heart. She knew how she was feeling. She knew that she was hurting, but most importantly was what she didn't know
She didn't know that she was in love with her.
Love was supposed to be something simple, something wonderful but she'd never been too lucky in it. Her dad always told her (albeit, over hours long phone calls, but still adamantly) that she deserved all the love in the world. That she was created from and build on the love she had for others, and that she received back in return. It was necessarily a lie but that hadn't made things any easier for her.
"I don't know…" Barely above a whisper, her fingers slipped down the touch pad of the phone screen, tapping on the speaker option. Her digits were beginning to feel gelatinous - it was difficult to keep anything in their grasp.
"You don't know?"
Eyelashes fluttered toward the top half of her bedroom, her gaze locked on the tiles. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…, she wasn't sure how many times she'd done that in the past few days. Counting them over and over again. It'd gotten to the point where he could continue doing so even after closing her eyes; even after falling into a deep slumber.
"You know I love you, right?"
The words struck her ears like nails across a chalkboard. She was supposed to be happy hearing this, right? She'd said that she loved her - this was what she wanted, and maybe someday hearing it could warm her heart but until then… "Yeah."
She perked up her voice for good measure.
She may have loved her, but she loved him more.