Portrait of the Artist as Reflected in Portraits of Other People; Books 5 - 11.

[byelka58]

In my life, the way I live it, I don't come into contact with new people very often. That's partly a collateral effect of how I choose to behave, and partly the direct goal. But no man is an island - try though he may - and so even I do occasionally encounter people I don't already know. I'd like to take a moment to introduce you to two of them

Comments

[prettymusic]

Thank you very much for making my rainy Monday morning in class much brighter with your humor.

I feel for you with that hygienist. That's very creepy on many different levels. And it leaves you in this completely weird place of wanting to say something, but not really knowing how to respond.

As far as the dolphin comment goes, if I had known that, I probably would have done the same thing. For that matter, many of our other relatives probably would have, as well, so it's not all your fault.

Now for the footnotes:
1. How can you beat a man in uniform who can sing, dance, and really knows how to wear formal wear? Now you're going to make me get out my DVD.
2. I don't really watch Futurama, but if you ever want to chat during Dancing with the Stars, just give me a call--I'm glued to the TV (except during the results shows, 'cause those are just annoying, especially when they feature such top acts as the Jonas Brothers). Same offer goes for PR. And while I liked Rami's final show the best, I think Christian won it based on his talent all season. Rami just took too long to break out of his Grecian goddess obsession.
3. OK
4. That is a great example of tour guide humor. I always like a good bit of background information, as well--it really builds up the climax of the joke :)

P.S.

[prettymusic]

Also, my friend wrote this little gem of a German "fairy tale." I only read the translation that he also posted, but you might enjoy it in the original German:

Es war einmal eine kleine, böse Prinzessin, die Paris Hilton hieß. Sie wollte das Leben von jemand ruinieren, weil sie reich und unglücklich war. Sie pflückte eine schöne Schauspielerin, die Lindsay Lohan hieß. Als Lindsay gerade einen Film beendet hatte, sagte Paris, "Ich bin deine Gottmutterfee. Du bist groß und hässlich. Nimm dieses magische, weiße Pulver." Lindsay nahm das Pulver und schnupfte es. Dann schnupfte Lindsay das Pulver jeden Tag, und sie wurde bald sehr krank und zu klein. Obwohl sie früher nicht hässlich war, war sie jetzt hässlich! Eines Tages kam ein tapferer Student, der Matt Chaldekas hieß, zu Lindsays Haus, und stand unter ihrem Fenster. Er sagte, "Lindsay, Sie waren früher schön, als Sie in Mean Girls waren. Jetzt sind Sie klein und hässlich geworden. Paris Hilton und das weiße Pulver sind die Gründe. Kommen Sie mit mir, wenn Sie leben wollen!" Als Lindsay diese Worte hörte, liebte sie ihn sofort. Sie warf das Pulver weg, und ging mit Matt nach New Orleans. Sie lebten glücklich und hatten viele Kinder.

[byelka58]

He's so polite! I like a man who, when staging an intervention for a stranger he intends to marry later, is careful to use "Sie".

In honor of the dude in my office, I will refrain from any grammatical-type comments, and simply praise the sentence: "[Paris Hilton] wanted to ruin somebody's life, because she was rich and unhappy." I like when my villain has that touch of backstory.

[gabbiana]

Babelfish says:

It was once a small, bad princess, who was called Paris Hilton. It wanted to ruin the life of someone, because it was rich and unfortunate. It picked a beautiful actress, who was called Lindsay Lohan. When Lindsay had terminated a straight film, Paris, "I said is your Gottmutterfee. You are large and ugly. Take this magic, white powder." Lindsay took the powder and schnupfte it. Then Lindsay the powder schnupfte each day, and she became soon very ill and too small. Although it was in former times not ugly, it was now ugly! A daily came a courageous student, who was called Chaldekas matte, to Lindsays house, and stood under its window. He said, "Lindsay, you was in former times beautiful, when you were in Mean Girls. Now you became ugly small and. Paris Hilton and the white powder are the reasons. Come with me, if you want to live!" When Lindsay heard these words, she loved him immediately. She threw the powder away, and went with matte to new Orleans. They lived lucky and had many children.

Yes. Of course.

[prettymusic]

Here's the translation from the author:

Once upon a time, there was a skinny, evil princess named Paris Hilton. She wanted to ruin someone's life, because she was rich and unhappy. She chose a beautiful actress named Lindsay Lohan. When Lindsay had just finished a movie, Paris said, "I am your fairy Godmother. You are fat and ugly. Take this magic, white powder." Lindsay took the powder and snorted it. Then she snorted it every day and soon became very sick and too skinny. Although she wasn't ugly before, she was now! One day a brave student named Matt Chaldekas came to Lindsay's house and stood under her window. He said, "Lindsay, you used to be hot, when you were in Mean Girls. Now you have become skinny and ugly. Paris Hilton and the white powder are the causes. Come with me if you want to live!" When Lindsay heard these words, she loved him immediately. She threw out the powder and went with Matt to New Orleans. They lived happily and had many children.

[byelka58]

You know, that's not terrible. It reads like it looped through Latin before it made it into English (or maybe it's just that the most awkward translations of my young life all appeared in Latin classes), but it's intelligible.

!!Advances In Technology!!

[prettymusic]

From Matt:

"The use of "Sie" wass absolutely necessary for a knight in shining armour. While the real [Matt] might approach myriad women in bars with "willst du mit mich nach Haus?", the idealized character of the fairy tale had to have that touch of gallantry. You might also notice that 'Kommen Sie mit mich, wenn Sie leben wollen' is a quote from Terminator 2: Judgement Day."

[byelka58]

It's true; when in doubt, be classy. But for heaven's sake, no self-respecting chick is going to fall for either line if the guy uses the accusative with mit!

On the other hand, Ms. Lohan just might. So... carry on.

(Terminator 2 was on television yesterday, and I was lucky enough to drop in at exactly that scene. Sadly I have never watched the film in German.)

[byelka58]

Mr. Plummer as Von Trapp is like the poor (Austrian wo)man's Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, and there can be nothing wrong with that.

I think you are probably right that if I'd watched the whole season, I'd have been able to balance Christian's short-term obsession with skinny black pants against Rami's season-long draping fetish. Since I only read the recaps, I wasn't as irritated by the latter. Also not bothering me so much: human hair on jackets. That is some weird stuff, no lie, but it pales next to many of the challenges on that very show, much less when you compare it to actual runway fashions.