On being far and waiting for the annual leave…
Time flies so fast…
I just realized that I am staying here for two months already. During this time I can say that I have passed the adjustment period…adjustment with the fact that I am now far from my family, my friends and my significant other, far from the people and placed I used to be with and stayed for the past 25 years of my life…adjustment with the culture here (contrary to my perception of this place before it isn’t really that strict and boring here)…adjustment with my place of work (it’s not actually the place that I tried and still trying to adjust, it’s the field of work where I am currently working for)…plus all the other adjustment people who tried their luck here have gotten their selves into.
After crying for five consecutive nights due to homesickness and the dawning thought that I won’t be seeing the people I love for the next 12 months or so, I told myself that crying and being lonely won’t help me cope and adjust easily. I told myself I won’t cry anymore and will start embracing the opportunity that was suddenly given to me.
Thank God for giving me nice and accommodating housemates, funny officemates, thoughtful soon-to-be-sister-in-law and a not-so-bossy bosses. They all made my adjustment period faster than I expected it to be. Now I only cry my heart out whenever I miss and think of the people I left in the Philippines and whenever I hear or see something that reminds me of them. And I can say that I am much stronger now for I was not looking at my family, friends and boyfriend’s picture before because it only pained me but now I regained the strength to consistently look at them. Taking a look at their pictures no longer gives me the feeling of wanting to go back there. Cliché as it may sound but it now gives me the strength to go on with my life here with the thought that I will be seeing them again after a year.
I celebrated my 25th birthday here…I was so happy that day. My housemates and friends here cook food for me and we had videoke session at night. Unlike my previous birthdays when I was contemplating with my life and fearing where will I be several years, I was just completely thankful as I was celebrating my birthday this year. There is still the fear but I think fearing what will and will not come is just a selfish act considering the opportunity that knocked on me. Although I still have my fears and worries but slowly I am learning to leave them all behind and just face whatever life is providing me now. Maybe the biggest worry I have now is if I can still pursue the career that I really want...bottom line is I still want to pursue a good career in the Philippines. Well, everything has its right timing…in time, I’m sure it will be that dream will be mine as well.
One of the early things that I learned here is to respect the individuality and culture of everybody. Everyday I see people of mix culture and race and I am actually working with people from various parts of the world. It’s certainly a pleasing and educating experience meeting and talking to different people. I learn a lot from listening to their stories and they too are interested and sometimes awed with our own beliefs and culture. They ask things without actually questioning why are we having these and that. The culture and beliefs is not the only thing that isn’t common to every race…needless to say our taste buds. Up until now, I still can’t take most of the food they are used to eating. I might have the utmost liking to eat but my taste bud just can’t simply accept them. But one rule of thumb: whenever they offer you food, take it because they might get offended if you don’t. They, in return are surprised with Filipinos heavy intake of rice (even during breakfast) but they are also interested to know the taste of the food we are eating. They (if my counting serves me right) have more than five times of prayer time (which ranges from five to 30 minutes) and during these times all the commercial establishments are closed which means no one can do a purchase at these times (in the Philippines, closing of stores every now and then in a day isn’t good for the business and I believe it would never be part of any marketing plan). And as far as I remember, I haven’t seen any girl / woman who does the selling in any store I have been to so far…all of them are boys even in shops intended for women! The differences of our culture and belief with them are endless and in knowing these differences I also learn to appreciate and understand the fact that despite the differences we can all still get along together by just simply respecting these differences.
I am thankful for the independence I had when I was still in the Philippines since college. That independence thought me a lot of things and paved the way for a chance to decide and do things on my own. I never knew that that training was just the start of a bigger independence. Is this another training-in-the-making? Training before I settle down? Well, that settling down thing is another issue. I’m happy that for the two months that I have been staying here, I have been able to cook new dishes which includes beef steak, chicken curry, spaghetti, dried adobo, afritada and sweet and sour. Cooking has become my hobby since I set foot here. Somehow, it keeps me away from being homesick. My next prospect is baking cakes and pastries.
Back to the settling down issue…
One thing’s for sure…I won’t be getting married anytime soon but besprenb and I are planning to settle down two to three years from now PROVIDED THAT we are already stable by that time. Right now we are hoping that that timeline will be followed. And speaking of besprenb…I constantly miss him. I miss our activities together: going out on a date, attending the mass every Sunday, playing in the arcade, watching movies, pigging out, even our petty fights and most of all, I miss talking to him, I just simply miss his company. How I wish he’s still just a text away, how I wish he’ll be here to give me chocolate cake after getting sick, how I wish he’s here when I’m too tired from work and I’ll just lay my head in his shoulder and unconsciously I’d fall off to sleep and he’ll just wait for the time I’ll be awaked, how I wish he’s here to squeeze my hands whenever I’m stressed out…hay, how I wish.
But one year wouldn’t be too long for a wait. In a click of a finger my annual leave is here already. For now, I’d just get myself busy with work and with cooking perhaps and patiently wait for me to come back home and enjoy my time with my family, friends and besprenb.
Kalas, in shala…