Anger
We become angry with God, with ourselves, or with others over our loss.
We become outraged and incensed over the steps that must be taken to overcome our loss.
We pick out ``scapegoats'' on which to vent our anger, e.g., the doctors, hospitals, clerks, helping agencies, rehabilitation specialists, etc.
We begin to use:
Self-blaming believing we should blame ourselves for this loss.
Switching blame believing we should blame others for this loss.
Blaming the victim believing we should blame the victim for leaving us.
Aggressive anger believing we have a right to vent our blame and rage aggressively on the closest target.
Resentment believing our hurt and pain is justified to turn into resentment toward involved in our loss event including the victim.
Anger is a normal stage. It must be expressed and resolved; if it is suppressed and held in, it will become "Anger in" leading to a maladaptive condition of depression that drains our emotional energy.
"If I can tell you, my friend, that I hate you, and if you can accept my words and feelings, then love is present, working and conquering. You are still alive and present in my life, even though in sorrow..." It is the not-speaking-our-hatred that deadens a relationship.