(no subject)
Waking up naked in your friends bed is a strange occurrence when there's too much alcohol in play the night before. This has happened before but I lived across the street at the time, now it's 6 block walk home. When you're still drunk and you wake naked in unknown territory things get a little strange, you sit back and think about all the activities that happened the night previously. You go to your typical house party to celebrate a friends birthday and somehow get corralled into his roommates bedroom as you're trying to leave. Oh yes, I do remember physically leaving, walking out of the house after moves were being made on me, but I only made it to the front porch before I was swooped up and cornered and kissing. There's nothing wrong with a little kissing. Just enough time to stay outside for a full cigarette when all of the sudden I catch myself following him back inside, stumbling to the kitchen to take down a glass of water after all that beer and mystery juice I drank. This leads to me in his bedroom, Marvin Gaye and other smooth r&b music playing...romantic. Things start to get fuzzy and I'm in complete drunk mindset. Waking up you try hard to remember last nights events, sex didn't happen, I remembered that much. I also remember him flailing around like Nomi Malone's sex scenes in Showgirls, what an awkward weird turn-off. Still drunk when you wake up you're hoping there's more you can recollect later with a sober mind. Nothing is more awkward then when your eyes open and you know he's still sleeping next to you also naked. You always try to get up and out first in these situations, but it begins to get tricky when you realize what woke you in the first place was a movement of theirs, so you pretend to go back to sleep and think, hoping they will soon wake and deal with their own weird life decisions face to face and book it out of there so you have the privacy of their room to dress yourself and skidaddle. After this happened things were going smoothly, I was dressed and just got done looking in the mirror for dried spit lines on my face when the door opens and in walks buddy. He apologizes as if he was walking in on me changing, like he hasn't seen my naked flesh. He's running late for a protest which starts in 20 minutes and offers a ride home, you'd think since it's Spring and 28 degrees outside I would accept, he was going toward my house but I already had too much dignity snagged from me in a 24 hour span. A friendly "See ya later" was shared and on my way I was. It's almost noon and I'm walking through the student ghetto with beads of cotton covering my black pants. I'm trying to look like I was just taking a stroll on a crisp spring day but I can feel eyes of passer-byers on me, judging me for my "Walk of Shame." My roommate dials in wondering if I'm alive because I never made it home after I told her I was on my way. She explains to me her earlier night which involved a pitcher of booze, heartburn, a lot of water and then watching The Fantastic Mr. Fox, so innocent compared to where I found myself this morning. I pass by the Elementary School, it's recess time...great. "Never do what I did, kids" is all I want to exclaim while being taken over by the weird, irresponsible feeling of being drunk in front of children. Next thing I know I'm walking in my front door, greeted by my pup, she's judging me. The house is a cold 48 degrees because we haven't had heat in 2 weeks, this is the only thing being drunk when you wake up helps with, you're body's already numb from the spring air, but alcohol is a magical elixir which makes you able to not feel feeling at times. Flip on your electrical blanket and crawl in, coherent enough to change your jeans to pajama pants. Time to go back to sleep.