Deep in thought (for once)
I was thinking... you know that movie coming with Mel Gibson? it' so weird i was thinking about it. How like it all "came to be". it all started when i actually really watched Dogma. like all the points it brought up:god being black, God's Gender, the role of women in the bible, the number of apostles, Jesus' family life and why 18 years of his life are "undocumented", whether or not we are God's only creations (excluding animals), the fact that we were given free will and we use the free will to ignore His presence. it's wierd. i got a lot out of that movie suprisingly. it took me a while to evaluate and plus from all the "backround" info i have from last years theology class and this years going through the bible in depth. I don't know how i came to think of this. but i was thinking with the whole not eating meat on ash wednesday and friday thing..like maybe you know not eating chicken for lunch is such a big deal. and maybe giving up and trying to do something isn't so bad. Because when you think about, i think being crucified and being forced to as your Father's only Son, is a bigger thing to...give up or sacrafice. So you know i duno, i think it's not as bad as it's made out to seem. It's four weeks. it's not four years. Plus, if you're "giving" something up for Lent, it probably isn't that good for you if you're willing to do without it for 40 days. I never really actually knew so much about my faith as i do now cuase well duh i'm in catholic school now i can't exactly ignore it. But sometimes i can't help but think...maybe this isn't the way it's supposed to be. Maybe Jesus could care less what we eat. Maybe as long as we live by his teachings to the best of our ability and in his likeness, maybe that's all He wants. I'm sure he could care less how many times you go to church. cause we all know by what some of our...fellow christians have done and covered up doing,that going church does not make you a better person. When i'm going down Second ave when 12:00 mass lets out, those people are the first people to cut you off. When i got my confirmation, i recalled being pushed in the parking lot by some lady who had to run to a catering hall. um yeah, we just left church and the preist's last words were "let's go in peace to live and serve the Lord". Pushing me out of your way to run into a parking lot with a bunch of people who are all running to go to a catering hall, is not serving the Lord with peace. I'm not saying "don't go to church" or whatever, but if you don't go don't freak. I rarely go, i go in school for the 10 minute mini mass in the chapel. I know i'm probably not fulfilling my sunday obligation but that's all I need. as long as i pray when I WANT TO and not when some priest says to, i think that's all that matters. I think that if i don't go to confession but i ask for forgiveness and indulgence on my own accord, that maybe that's better for me, little more personal.. I've never actually felt about my faith this way before. It all started over the summer the day after my birthday, when Toni,Danny,Molly, Phil and i think amanda...we were all talking about our faith for some reason. I don't know how it all came about but i remember Toni saying that "Jesus wanted the word of His father spread and as long as you live by His teachings than He can't ask any more from you because you've done what He created us for." She said something like that. I'm sure Jesus also doesn't like His name gettin carried out in Vain. How many wars were fought over religon? who cares what you believe in. as long as you know what you believe in, who are you to tell some else that what they hold scared is false or inferior to your own beliefs? I'm sure Jesus is up in heaven shaking his saying "What are they doing this for? I'd never want that" It seems like people who go to war for "religous purposes" feel that maybe the war will be justified by saying your doung it for Christ. It's just like someone spreading rumors that youve said things about people. you wouldn't want your name to be attatched to it. you wouldn't want people to think lower of you. It's like that, only we only think higher of Jesus cause people "think" it's the right thing. He lived a simple life, he was poor, yet he was happy. He was 32 when he died. he died young but he was happy. or just content and enjoyed going about his buisness. who knows...that's just me.