things from the heart
There are so many good things in the world and many that can break your heart but what do you do when you have to make a choice that can change everything that you know. I mean what will happen by the time I get to grade 12? Will I have to choose my friends as well as decide where my life is going. Will I meet someone who makes me feel like I can truly be myself. Will I have some major problem that will turn my life upside down.
I mean we make the choices that lead to the rest of our lives. What if I have made a huge mistake in my life right now that I will regret forever. The worst feeling in the world is looking at the past and the future and the only real feelings are fear and doubt. The doubt and fear that I will not be able to stand on my own two feet the fear that I will always be alone even if I am in a sea of people. I don't know how to live my life right now. Every time I make a decision it backfires even if I think I did the right thing I always have doubt. I need someone in my life that can help me to figure it out. I need someone who I can trust, the hardest thing for me to do is to let go. I have hurt people in the past by keeping my heart locked up I am always reflecting on the what ifs. I need something or someone that I can be sure of. I need someone who can listen and tell me that they love me and in my head I know that they speak the truth. I need to be able to tell someone that I love them without the lie, doubt and fear of a broken heart. I need to mean it.
I never know what I want, I don't know what to think. I make up reasons why I shouldn't trust someone even though they can be trusted. I need to sort my life out and as of now I don't know how to do it. I don't want to numb myself to the world like some of my friends I no longer what to through myself into other people's problems. I just want for everything to feel right for once I want to make a decision and feel good about it, I want someone to hold me when I cry, I want someone to help me let go.
I mean we make the choices that lead to the rest of our lives. What if I have made a huge mistake in my life right now that I will regret forever. The worst feeling in the world is looking at the past and the future and the only real feelings are fear and doubt. The doubt and fear that I will not be able to stand on my own two feet the fear that I will always be alone even if I am in a sea of people. I don't know how to live my life right now. Every time I make a decision it backfires even if I think I did the right thing I always have doubt. I need someone in my life that can help me to figure it out. I need someone who I can trust, the hardest thing for me to do is to let go. I have hurt people in the past by keeping my heart locked up I am always reflecting on the what ifs. I need something or someone that I can be sure of. I need someone who can listen and tell me that they love me and in my head I know that they speak the truth. I need to be able to tell someone that I love them without the lie, doubt and fear of a broken heart. I need to mean it.
I never know what I want, I don't know what to think. I make up reasons why I shouldn't trust someone even though they can be trusted. I need to sort my life out and as of now I don't know how to do it. I don't want to numb myself to the world like some of my friends I no longer what to through myself into other people's problems. I just want for everything to feel right for once I want to make a decision and feel good about it, I want someone to hold me when I cry, I want someone to help me let go.