dream girl
saturday was my eighteenth birthday. i am so happy. my grandma gave me her '92 explorer. it's old but perfect. i love it. bernadette and stephanie visited me. they are so beautiful. i love them both so much. i hope they have fun at college. i also hope i get a chance to visit them. i made my family go out to dinner, it was the first time we've all been out together since my brother was born. he is 6. it was very nice, very expensive, very awkward. went to peabodys. i love sara and michelle so much. they were the sexiest girls in there, and they were alllll mine. it's been almost three days and i'm still tired. definitely doing it again though. i met a boy. i made out with a boy. haha just a little bit. but yes, i am a slut. it's ok because it was my birthday. but i think i may actually LIKE this boy. this 23 year old boy. i'm seeing him friday and i can't wait. i'll probably die waiting. what is wrong with me. i'm such a girl. i've never been so happy. but there's something else i'm feeling, something like inadequate i think. it's underneath the happiness and i'm terrified that something bad will happen and make the happiness go away and i'll be left with the masked sadness. i'm such an emo bitch. but i haven't stopped smiling yet. i have such beautiful, perfect friends. i'm 18. i like a boy. i have a car that works. i haven't been this happy in two years. i've had diabetes for two years now and i'm still alive haha. yay.