Headaches, Consultants and Letters: I want to cry now.
If you have met my charming Consultant and Top Expert who Runs the Entire Department in the Best Hospital before, you know what is coming...
The Real Headaches
It's indescribable, really. Basically, some Headaches/ symptoms are Not Real and are covering up any Headaches/symptoms that Are Real. The Consultant knows which Headaches are Real Headaches and the Not Real Headaches. Not Real Headaches are in your Head - these need to be removed before I can treat the Real Headaches. The Consultant knows which Headaches are Not Real and therefore need Removal by Special Thinky Therapy that needs to be applied until you have only Headaches That Are Real
You need to read the whole thing to get the full effect:
http://buzzylittleb.livejournal.com/645502.html
***
It just gets better.
We finally got the Consultant Letter after two months of chasing.
My Headaches are all NOT REAL HEADACHES and are the product of my PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS such as a BODY DISORDER and a LACK OF COPING METHODS. The NOT REAL HEADACHES - every HEADACHE is now designated as NOT REAL - are psycho-somatic, deluded and any real symptoms are a RESULT of the Medication Provided for the REAL HEADACHES that NEVER EXISTED. None of the epileptic symptoms were caused by NOT REAL HEADACHES but due to MISAPPLIED MEDICAL TREATMENTS intended to cure the NOT REAL HEADACHES. Likewise, anything else abnormal or brain-related is the MISAPPLIED MEDICAL TREATMENTS implemented by DOCTORS to treat the NOT REAL HEADACHES. So, all these DOCTORS were a) WRONG b) PULLED INTO MY DELUSION c) provided information and symptoms which my PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS turned into the NOT REAL HEADACHES.
So, BUZZY really should never have been treated for REAL HEADACHES because her headaches are NOT REAL HEADACHES. So, Buzzy should keep taking the tablets treating the NOT REAL HEADACHES as if they were REAL HEADACHES which they are obviously not. Instead, the NOT REAL HEADACHES should be sent to see a CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST who will diagnose the PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS which the CONSULTANT has already diagnosed and will, therefore diagnose BUZZY as a HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM suffering from BODY DISORDER and a LACK OF COPING METHODS. And once we have eliminated the PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM then the CONSULTANT can get on with treating her HEADACHES which are all NOT REAL HEADACHES.
***
So, BUZZY had to explain to HER FATHER that a BODY DISORDER is not a PHYSICAL DIAGNOSIS that confirms that the CONSULTANT somewhere really does understand his daughter's real medical problem and is taking it seriously. BUZZY wanted the floor to swallow her when she explained that BODY DISORDERS are not a physical diagnosis, but related to anorexia, bulimia
BUZZY is doing a lot of *WIBBLING* right now.
So, BUZZY'S heart is somewhere in her boots right now.
Partly, this is because her Dad has spent the last two months telling her that there is nothing to worry about, really, and she should stop worrying about the letter. That she was so upset and thinking the letter would be like the consultation.
BUZZY knew this letter was coming, she recognised it before she even read it, she had imagined this so much and anticipated how hurtful, cowardly and wrong it was going to be.
AND THEN IT WAS WORSE.
*** P.S more of this in my comments if you want to get even more confused
The Real Headaches
It's indescribable, really. Basically, some Headaches/ symptoms are Not Real and are covering up any Headaches/symptoms that Are Real. The Consultant knows which Headaches are Real Headaches and the Not Real Headaches. Not Real Headaches are in your Head - these need to be removed before I can treat the Real Headaches. The Consultant knows which Headaches are Not Real and therefore need Removal by Special Thinky Therapy that needs to be applied until you have only Headaches That Are Real
You need to read the whole thing to get the full effect:
http://buzzylittleb.livejournal.com/645502.html
***
It just gets better.
We finally got the Consultant Letter after two months of chasing.
My Headaches are all NOT REAL HEADACHES and are the product of my PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS such as a BODY DISORDER and a LACK OF COPING METHODS. The NOT REAL HEADACHES - every HEADACHE is now designated as NOT REAL - are psycho-somatic, deluded and any real symptoms are a RESULT of the Medication Provided for the REAL HEADACHES that NEVER EXISTED. None of the epileptic symptoms were caused by NOT REAL HEADACHES but due to MISAPPLIED MEDICAL TREATMENTS intended to cure the NOT REAL HEADACHES. Likewise, anything else abnormal or brain-related is the MISAPPLIED MEDICAL TREATMENTS implemented by DOCTORS to treat the NOT REAL HEADACHES. So, all these DOCTORS were a) WRONG b) PULLED INTO MY DELUSION c) provided information and symptoms which my PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS turned into the NOT REAL HEADACHES.
So, BUZZY really should never have been treated for REAL HEADACHES because her headaches are NOT REAL HEADACHES. So, Buzzy should keep taking the tablets treating the NOT REAL HEADACHES as if they were REAL HEADACHES which they are obviously not. Instead, the NOT REAL HEADACHES should be sent to see a CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST who will diagnose the PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS which the CONSULTANT has already diagnosed and will, therefore diagnose BUZZY as a HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM suffering from BODY DISORDER and a LACK OF COPING METHODS. And once we have eliminated the PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM then the CONSULTANT can get on with treating her HEADACHES which are all NOT REAL HEADACHES.
***
So, BUZZY had to explain to HER FATHER that a BODY DISORDER is not a PHYSICAL DIAGNOSIS that confirms that the CONSULTANT somewhere really does understand his daughter's real medical problem and is taking it seriously. BUZZY wanted the floor to swallow her when she explained that BODY DISORDERS are not a physical diagnosis, but related to anorexia, bulimia
BUZZY is doing a lot of *WIBBLING* right now.
So, BUZZY'S heart is somewhere in her boots right now.
Partly, this is because her Dad has spent the last two months telling her that there is nothing to worry about, really, and she should stop worrying about the letter. That she was so upset and thinking the letter would be like the consultation.
BUZZY knew this letter was coming, she recognised it before she even read it, she had imagined this so much and anticipated how hurtful, cowardly and wrong it was going to be.
AND THEN IT WAS WORSE.
*** P.S more of this in my comments if you want to get even more confused