"when I look back now, the summer seemed to last forever"
Cue the crappy Bryan Adams song...but so true.
Well ladies and gentlemen, the summer is officially here...yet it doesn't seem like it. I still feel like I am going to school, even though I'm not. It just hasn't hit me that I won't have to get up for school again for a few months. I'm really not excited right now...I spend the last 2 months of school bitching and moaning every day for school the end and when it finally does...there's really no reaction. It never fails that things don't occur how I expect them to. Oh well...what can you do? My nocturnal habits are back already...back to staying up till 4 a.m. and sleeping until 3 p.m...back to doing nothing all day long. No complaints of course...it truly is better than school. This year in all actuality probably pissed me off every day I went there. It's over though. I'm a senior, my last year...wow. A senior, the word never clicked before, the word seemed so distant, like I would never reach this point in my life, well, I have.
The summer has started off pretty well, I mean I'm not complaining, I've done something social for both days of summer that have gone by already. There are a bunch of graduation parties that will be going on till the end of June. I was invited to like 10, and you know what? I don't care if I wasn't invited to all 95 of them, because I really only had a few senior friends this year, I probably had more senior friends last year. I'll go to the several grad parties of my actual friends, the rest oh well.
This summer I hope to become better friends with some people. I want to expand my horizons just a little. Off topic...I really need to stick with something for awhile and master it before I move on. Once I kind of know something I like to move on to something else...I don't know a lot about one thing, I know a little about everything and it pisses me off. I want to be known as a master at something, this is totally gay. I truly am a guy that wants so much, to know so much, to be so much...but I usually just am too lazy to go through with it. I have no motivation in life...I really don't...nothing spurs me anymore. High school kills a person's self esteem in most cases...high school is usually where you encounter your first great disappointments...like wanting something so badly, you try anything within your power to try to change it and then one day you realize nothing you ever do will matter. It simply is out of your reach. That happened to me awhile ago, and since then it's been rather important for me to always hang around people. I hate being just doing nothing. Everyday I want to do something, I want to be around my friends, I don't want to be lonely. I hate being alone. Perhaps my biggest fear is not death, or being put in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, or even turning into a dirty kid...it's spending the rest of my life lonely. To all of you who have been able to say you had someone, for at least a moment, who cared for you the same you cared for them...I congradulate you.
Well ladies and gentlemen, the summer is officially here...yet it doesn't seem like it. I still feel like I am going to school, even though I'm not. It just hasn't hit me that I won't have to get up for school again for a few months. I'm really not excited right now...I spend the last 2 months of school bitching and moaning every day for school the end and when it finally does...there's really no reaction. It never fails that things don't occur how I expect them to. Oh well...what can you do? My nocturnal habits are back already...back to staying up till 4 a.m. and sleeping until 3 p.m...back to doing nothing all day long. No complaints of course...it truly is better than school. This year in all actuality probably pissed me off every day I went there. It's over though. I'm a senior, my last year...wow. A senior, the word never clicked before, the word seemed so distant, like I would never reach this point in my life, well, I have.
The summer has started off pretty well, I mean I'm not complaining, I've done something social for both days of summer that have gone by already. There are a bunch of graduation parties that will be going on till the end of June. I was invited to like 10, and you know what? I don't care if I wasn't invited to all 95 of them, because I really only had a few senior friends this year, I probably had more senior friends last year. I'll go to the several grad parties of my actual friends, the rest oh well.
This summer I hope to become better friends with some people. I want to expand my horizons just a little. Off topic...I really need to stick with something for awhile and master it before I move on. Once I kind of know something I like to move on to something else...I don't know a lot about one thing, I know a little about everything and it pisses me off. I want to be known as a master at something, this is totally gay. I truly am a guy that wants so much, to know so much, to be so much...but I usually just am too lazy to go through with it. I have no motivation in life...I really don't...nothing spurs me anymore. High school kills a person's self esteem in most cases...high school is usually where you encounter your first great disappointments...like wanting something so badly, you try anything within your power to try to change it and then one day you realize nothing you ever do will matter. It simply is out of your reach. That happened to me awhile ago, and since then it's been rather important for me to always hang around people. I hate being just doing nothing. Everyday I want to do something, I want to be around my friends, I don't want to be lonely. I hate being alone. Perhaps my biggest fear is not death, or being put in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, or even turning into a dirty kid...it's spending the rest of my life lonely. To all of you who have been able to say you had someone, for at least a moment, who cared for you the same you cared for them...I congradulate you.