Uploaded to YouTube: Friday Afternoon - Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained...
The video started with Dipper in the hallway of the school. "Hi guys. Dipper Pines here for another episode of Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained. Today we are going to cover the mysterious topic of... Locker 327."
Dipper gestured to the locker which... Well just sat there doing nothing. It certainly didn't look mysterious.
"Locker 327 is supposed to be a portal to other worlds and universes that is somehow sentient."
"And that's exactly why I've brought this entire case of Burrito Bites," Mabel's voice came, from just offscreen, as the camera moved downward to proudly display... Mabel's feet. And a box of ... some kind of munchy, burrito-ey snack food of questionable nutritional content. "As a peace offering!"
If it was sentient, it couldn't hurt, right?
The camera moved back up again, to frame Dipper and the otherwise boring locker once more.
Not to mention a Dipper who was rolling his eyes. "Uh, Mabel? It's a locker. I don't think it's going to open up just because you offer it-"
Dipper was interrupted by a small squeak as the locker door opened and a small vortex, aimed at the burrito bites began to form, trying to suck the junk food into the void that was Locker 327.
"Holy crap! It worked!"
"See?" Mabel's voice from behind the camera sounded triumphant, now. "Nobody can resist the Burrito Bites!"
Well, she certainly couldn't, anyway.
"Great. The locker takes after Soos," Dipper said as the Burrito Bites flew into the locker and the door slammed shut.
"No! Wait!" Dipper began jiggling the locker handle and then pounding on the door. "Hold on! I want to see how you work! Open up! I have questions!"
"See, you should have brought some snack foods," Mabel chirped. "Maybe you can get it to open up in exchange for some Cheese Boodles!"
Nobody could resist a Cheese Boodle. Nobody.
"I'm not giving it a Cheese Boodle!"
Dipper now had both feet on either side of the locker door as he tried to yank it open.
"I just want it to open! Don't you understand? This could be our way home!"
"Which is all the more reason to give it a Cheese Boodle," Mabel pointed out, reasonably. "You're not going to get anything from it if you don't ask nicely, Dipper."
This was just basic manners!
"I'm not feeding it food!" Dipper grunted as he continued to try and pull the door open. "It's only a locker!"
Only a locker?
The locker door shuddered and opened sending Dipper flying backwards to the floor.
An eerie glow emanated forth from behind piles of what appeared to be adult magazines.
"It's open!" Dipper said in awe. "Look at it Mabel!"
CRASH-ZOOM. How better to get a nice, dramatic view of the inside of the--
"Ew!! Ewwww, Dipper, why would you tell me to look!?"
SHE DID NOT WANT TO SEE COPIES OF GOLD CHAINS FOR OLD MEN: THE SWIMSUIT ISSUE. EVER.
Eerie glow, Mabel. Focus on the eerie glow.
Because that's what Dipper was doing. That and pulling out his journal to take notes. "Don't you see, Mabel? It's a portal! Maybe it can get us back home!"
And because the locker was getting annoyed another vortex started, this time pulling the journal out of Dipper's hands and into the eerie glow and stacks of adult magazines.
"Hey! Give that back!" Dipper cried out diving at the book. And grabbing the book. And then Dipper was pulled directly into the locker with the door slamming shut behind him.
For a moment, the video feed was just absolute silence, the camera still zoomed in on the locker's door.
And then, a few seconds later, Mabel's exclamation of "Dipper!" and the camera bounce-bouncing along as she made her way to the locker to try to pull it open.
"Come on, locker! Spit him out again! Please? There'll be two whole cases of Cheese Boodles in it for you! And some puffy stickers!"
Who didn't like puffy stickers?!
"Mabel?"
Dipper's voice came through very quietly and calmly. "It's okay. I'm all right. I- I think I might want to stay here for a while."
Maybe it was a little too calm and collected.
... Well, that was weird. Dipper wasn't even that calm even when he was actually calm.
Mabel squinted at the locker a little.
"You're not back home, are you?" Just making sure. "Or possessed? If you have slit eyes when I get this door open, Dipper Pines, I'll..."
"Nope!" Dipper said quickly through the locker door... perhaps a little too quickly. "Nope. No Bipper here. I'm find. Totally not possessed. Just finding this whole alternate dimension thing very comfortable. Yep. No problem's here."
And that's when the music began. Music that Mabel would find very familiar from her childhood.
"Stop it!" Dipper hissed at whatever entity was playing that music. "No! I'm not doing it!"
"OHMYGOSH DIPPER!" It was remarkable how quickly Mabel's voice went from suspicious concern to sadistic exuberance. "Locker! Locker, I'll give you my very last gummy koala if you let him out again right now!"
Sorry not sorry, Dipper.
"NO! NO! NO! DON'T-"
Dipper wishes were thoroughly ignored. The door popped open and Dipper flew out and landed on his face.
And anyone walking by would probably see why Mabel was so excited.
Because Dipper was in a baby lamb costume with a big pink bow around his neck.
"TURN OFF THE CAMERA!"
The camera was dancing backwards now so that Dipper couldn't make a reach for it. And one lone gummy koala was being flicked majestically through the air for the locker to enjoy.
"Not until you sing the song! Sing it, Dipper! Sing it!"
Mabel was the best sister, okay? Everyone should have a twin like Mabel.
Dipper would dispute that notion. At least at the moment.
"Maaaaaabeeeeeellllllllllll!" Dipper whined as he made another grab at the camera. "Come on! Turn off the camera! I'm not singing the song!"
That music coming from the locker was getting louder now. Clearly Mabel wasn't the only entity who wanted to hear the song.
"Hey, Locker! If Dipper sings the song, will you give him his clothes back?"
Mabel was having the best day.
"I'd rather go naked then sing the song," Dipper said crossing his arms. "Let alone letting someone record it."
He had his stubborn look on. Nothing was going to change his mind.
However the locker knew better. Which was why it was now letting Dipper's journal float in the air, just out of Dipper's reach.
"Hey! Give that back!" Dipper cried out trying to grab his journal only for it to yanked away by an unseen force. "C'mon! That's mine!"
"I'm preeeetty sure we both know what thaaat means," Mabel drawled happily. "If you sing the song, the locker will give you the book back!"
The jury was out on whether Dipper would get his clothing back after name-calling the poor thing, though.
Dipper groaned and rubbed his forehead. Which of course made it look like a lamb was rubbing his forehead with his hoof/mitten which kind of undermined any look of frustration that he portrayed. "Fine!"
He got down on one knee and began to sing albiet in a not so enthusiastic tone.
Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...
He hopped to his feet and began to pantomime pointing at people about the room.
Who wants a lamby, lamby, lamby?
He then raised his mittens/hooves in the air waving them around as if trying to get a teacher's attention.
I do! I do!
He then began to hop up and wave at more non-existent people. Sullenly.
So, go up and greet your mammy, mammy, mammy
Hi there! Hi there!
With a sigh, Dipper began to sullenly march around in a circle...
So march, march, march around the daisies!
Which was followed by Dipper falling to one knee and doing sullen jazz hands for the big finish.
Don't, don't, don't you forget about the baaaaaaaaaaaaaa-by!
The book shot out from the locker and bounced off the Lamby-Lamby head of Dipper Pines. Dipper immediately turned and looked at Mabel.
"This is not going up on the internet."
"Fine, fine," Mabel sighed. "I'll erase all of this foot-- oops."
...
"Dipper, did you know there's a live-stream button on this thing that posts stuff to YouTube and then archives it as it records? Oh, that wacky, wacky technology! What will it think of next?"
"What? No! Turn it off! Turn it-"
And thus ended the YouTube video.
You were welcome, internet.
[OOC: NFI. Open to comments on YouTube or IC reactions]
Dipper gestured to the locker which... Well just sat there doing nothing. It certainly didn't look mysterious.
"Locker 327 is supposed to be a portal to other worlds and universes that is somehow sentient."
"And that's exactly why I've brought this entire case of Burrito Bites," Mabel's voice came, from just offscreen, as the camera moved downward to proudly display... Mabel's feet. And a box of ... some kind of munchy, burrito-ey snack food of questionable nutritional content. "As a peace offering!"
If it was sentient, it couldn't hurt, right?
The camera moved back up again, to frame Dipper and the otherwise boring locker once more.
Not to mention a Dipper who was rolling his eyes. "Uh, Mabel? It's a locker. I don't think it's going to open up just because you offer it-"
Dipper was interrupted by a small squeak as the locker door opened and a small vortex, aimed at the burrito bites began to form, trying to suck the junk food into the void that was Locker 327.
"Holy crap! It worked!"
"See?" Mabel's voice from behind the camera sounded triumphant, now. "Nobody can resist the Burrito Bites!"
Well, she certainly couldn't, anyway.
"Great. The locker takes after Soos," Dipper said as the Burrito Bites flew into the locker and the door slammed shut.
"No! Wait!" Dipper began jiggling the locker handle and then pounding on the door. "Hold on! I want to see how you work! Open up! I have questions!"
"See, you should have brought some snack foods," Mabel chirped. "Maybe you can get it to open up in exchange for some Cheese Boodles!"
Nobody could resist a Cheese Boodle. Nobody.
"I'm not giving it a Cheese Boodle!"
Dipper now had both feet on either side of the locker door as he tried to yank it open.
"I just want it to open! Don't you understand? This could be our way home!"
"Which is all the more reason to give it a Cheese Boodle," Mabel pointed out, reasonably. "You're not going to get anything from it if you don't ask nicely, Dipper."
This was just basic manners!
"I'm not feeding it food!" Dipper grunted as he continued to try and pull the door open. "It's only a locker!"
Only a locker?
The locker door shuddered and opened sending Dipper flying backwards to the floor.
An eerie glow emanated forth from behind piles of what appeared to be adult magazines.
"It's open!" Dipper said in awe. "Look at it Mabel!"
CRASH-ZOOM. How better to get a nice, dramatic view of the inside of the--
"Ew!! Ewwww, Dipper, why would you tell me to look!?"
SHE DID NOT WANT TO SEE COPIES OF GOLD CHAINS FOR OLD MEN: THE SWIMSUIT ISSUE. EVER.
Eerie glow, Mabel. Focus on the eerie glow.
Because that's what Dipper was doing. That and pulling out his journal to take notes. "Don't you see, Mabel? It's a portal! Maybe it can get us back home!"
And because the locker was getting annoyed another vortex started, this time pulling the journal out of Dipper's hands and into the eerie glow and stacks of adult magazines.
"Hey! Give that back!" Dipper cried out diving at the book. And grabbing the book. And then Dipper was pulled directly into the locker with the door slamming shut behind him.
For a moment, the video feed was just absolute silence, the camera still zoomed in on the locker's door.
And then, a few seconds later, Mabel's exclamation of "Dipper!" and the camera bounce-bouncing along as she made her way to the locker to try to pull it open.
"Come on, locker! Spit him out again! Please? There'll be two whole cases of Cheese Boodles in it for you! And some puffy stickers!"
Who didn't like puffy stickers?!
"Mabel?"
Dipper's voice came through very quietly and calmly. "It's okay. I'm all right. I- I think I might want to stay here for a while."
Maybe it was a little too calm and collected.
... Well, that was weird. Dipper wasn't even that calm even when he was actually calm.
Mabel squinted at the locker a little.
"You're not back home, are you?" Just making sure. "Or possessed? If you have slit eyes when I get this door open, Dipper Pines, I'll..."
"Nope!" Dipper said quickly through the locker door... perhaps a little too quickly. "Nope. No Bipper here. I'm find. Totally not possessed. Just finding this whole alternate dimension thing very comfortable. Yep. No problem's here."
And that's when the music began. Music that Mabel would find very familiar from her childhood.
"Stop it!" Dipper hissed at whatever entity was playing that music. "No! I'm not doing it!"
"OHMYGOSH DIPPER!" It was remarkable how quickly Mabel's voice went from suspicious concern to sadistic exuberance. "Locker! Locker, I'll give you my very last gummy koala if you let him out again right now!"
Sorry not sorry, Dipper.
"NO! NO! NO! DON'T-"
Dipper wishes were thoroughly ignored. The door popped open and Dipper flew out and landed on his face.
And anyone walking by would probably see why Mabel was so excited.
Because Dipper was in a baby lamb costume with a big pink bow around his neck.
"TURN OFF THE CAMERA!"
The camera was dancing backwards now so that Dipper couldn't make a reach for it. And one lone gummy koala was being flicked majestically through the air for the locker to enjoy.
"Not until you sing the song! Sing it, Dipper! Sing it!"
Mabel was the best sister, okay? Everyone should have a twin like Mabel.
Dipper would dispute that notion. At least at the moment.
"Maaaaaabeeeeeellllllllllll!" Dipper whined as he made another grab at the camera. "Come on! Turn off the camera! I'm not singing the song!"
That music coming from the locker was getting louder now. Clearly Mabel wasn't the only entity who wanted to hear the song.
"Hey, Locker! If Dipper sings the song, will you give him his clothes back?"
Mabel was having the best day.
"I'd rather go naked then sing the song," Dipper said crossing his arms. "Let alone letting someone record it."
He had his stubborn look on. Nothing was going to change his mind.
However the locker knew better. Which was why it was now letting Dipper's journal float in the air, just out of Dipper's reach.
"Hey! Give that back!" Dipper cried out trying to grab his journal only for it to yanked away by an unseen force. "C'mon! That's mine!"
"I'm preeeetty sure we both know what thaaat means," Mabel drawled happily. "If you sing the song, the locker will give you the book back!"
The jury was out on whether Dipper would get his clothing back after name-calling the poor thing, though.
Dipper groaned and rubbed his forehead. Which of course made it look like a lamb was rubbing his forehead with his hoof/mitten which kind of undermined any look of frustration that he portrayed. "Fine!"
He got down on one knee and began to sing albiet in a not so enthusiastic tone.
Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...
He hopped to his feet and began to pantomime pointing at people about the room.
Who wants a lamby, lamby, lamby?
He then raised his mittens/hooves in the air waving them around as if trying to get a teacher's attention.
I do! I do!
He then began to hop up and wave at more non-existent people. Sullenly.
So, go up and greet your mammy, mammy, mammy
Hi there! Hi there!
With a sigh, Dipper began to sullenly march around in a circle...
So march, march, march around the daisies!
Which was followed by Dipper falling to one knee and doing sullen jazz hands for the big finish.
Don't, don't, don't you forget about the baaaaaaaaaaaaaa-by!
The book shot out from the locker and bounced off the Lamby-Lamby head of Dipper Pines. Dipper immediately turned and looked at Mabel.
"This is not going up on the internet."
"Fine, fine," Mabel sighed. "I'll erase all of this foot-- oops."
...
"Dipper, did you know there's a live-stream button on this thing that posts stuff to YouTube and then archives it as it records? Oh, that wacky, wacky technology! What will it think of next?"
"What? No! Turn it off! Turn it-"
And thus ended the YouTube video.
You were welcome, internet.
[OOC: NFI. Open to comments on YouTube or IC reactions]