Married life and the gorilla
Took wifey out for a nice dinner last night to celebrate our one-month anniversary. Can ya believe it peeps? The gorilla's been married for one whole month already! Woah mamma!
Man, it's a strange feelin' I tell ya. Somehow I don't exactly feel "married" ... well, sometimes anyway (more on than later). Nope, it feels more like I've inherited a sexy housemate (*hubba hubba*) who (a) fights with me over the TV remote and blanket nightly, (b) is secretly eating up all the ice cream in the fridge, (c) leaves long strands of hair everywhere as evidence of her existence (well, it certainly ain't the buzz cut one right?) ... and (d) puts me to sleep in a most pleasant frame of mind most nights (massage lah ... whatcha thinking, guttter brain?). *ahem*
However, there's plenty of "circumstantial evidence" to suggest that J and I are already settling down into the daily rituals of married life. Let's take household chores for starters. J's the Goddess of the Kitchen and Ironing Board (she cooks/bakes and generally satisfies the gorilla's hunger ... all kinds *wink* *nudge*), the Patron Saint of Scents (the gorilla den smells incredibly nice these days!), the ever diplomatic Neighbourhood Liaison (she handles all the pesky and inquisitive neighbours who are curious about newly weds like us and doubles up as tour guide when they drop by *rolls eyes*) ... and yeah, Ruler of the Remote Control (hey, I give way to her ok! *thumps chest*).
My role, on the other hand, is pretty simple .... everything else she doesn't cover! So I'm Mr Fix-It (replace bulbs, fix squeaky doors, unclog sinks/pipes, etc), Mr Toilet Auntie (yes yes, rub it in! 'tis I who cleans the bathrooms and loos! *puts on mask and toxic-proof vest*) ... and, of coz, Mr Exterminator (no prizes for guessing who gets rid of uninvited house pests with more than 2 legs that terrorise the wifey). Hoy, who just said "like 3-legged gorillas?"! *snarl*
Then there are the shared chores like grocery shopping, and doing the dishes and laundry. Speaking of laundry, the gorilla once gallantly attempted to help the wifey handwash her delicate (read: self-destructing) and richly coloured clothes (read: Oh shits! Either the gorilla is having his period or the reds are running and turning J's favourite yellow blouse a funky shade of orange!). Needless to say, the gorilla has been banished from The Kingdom of Competent Handwashers ever since and now lives in exile in The Land of No Brainer Washer/Dryer Loaders ... heh, not that he's complaining exactly! ;)
But wait, there are more tell-tale signs that the gorilla ain't exactly in Kansas anymore...
- Less time for "togo" (drinking) sessions with the guys.
- Less time to blog, surf pr0n, and check out new toys ... not necessarily in that order. Heh!
- Good chunk of the weekends now spent spring cleaning and grocery/appliance shopping. Whoopee. Yay-ness. *snore*
- The shoe rack has quadrupled in size and now resembles a multi-storey carpark.
- Furniture is not to be used as makeshift clothes racks ... or the gorilla might face extra laundry/ironing duties. :\
- Failure to mop up icky/watery mess after a bath is punishable by Long Black Face and Incessant
- The gorilla sometimes gets the creepy feeling that a younger clone of mummy dearest has moved in.
- Horror movies are banned as late night entertainment. Gorillas are not. Heh! "老婆 ... 再上?" ;)
Fortunately, there's definitely a bright side to being married too...
- Yummy cooked food and nicely pressed shirts magically appear.
- The house always smells nice and feels clean.
- The gorilla never runs out of toiletries ... especially not when he most needs it!
- The fridge is always stocked ... and it ain't only for folks on a liquid diet. *hic*
- There are always fresh, clean towels to soil.
- There's a cream or lotion for every conceivable need, even callous gorilla feet! Wowzer!
But most of all, the house is starting to feel like a real home ... so it's out with the old gorilla den and in with the residence of Mr and Mrs B. :) Yeah, it's great to have someone to share home life with (even if it means extra laundry duties), to kiss goodnight every night, and to greet you with a sleepy sexy smile in the mornings ... and that's not even counting all the other *koff* spousal duties *koff* one needs to fulfil ... and gladly too! Kekeke! Yup yup, I can get used to this life alright! ;)
Man, it's a strange feelin' I tell ya. Somehow I don't exactly feel "married" ... well, sometimes anyway (more on than later). Nope, it feels more like I've inherited a sexy housemate (*hubba hubba*) who (a) fights with me over the TV remote and blanket nightly, (b) is secretly eating up all the ice cream in the fridge, (c) leaves long strands of hair everywhere as evidence of her existence (well, it certainly ain't the buzz cut one right?) ... and (d) puts me to sleep in a most pleasant frame of mind most nights (massage lah ... whatcha thinking, guttter brain?). *ahem*
However, there's plenty of "circumstantial evidence" to suggest that J and I are already settling down into the daily rituals of married life. Let's take household chores for starters. J's the Goddess of the Kitchen and Ironing Board (she cooks/bakes and generally satisfies the gorilla's hunger ... all kinds *wink* *nudge*), the Patron Saint of Scents (the gorilla den smells incredibly nice these days!), the ever diplomatic Neighbourhood Liaison (she handles all the pesky and inquisitive neighbours who are curious about newly weds like us and doubles up as tour guide when they drop by *rolls eyes*) ... and yeah, Ruler of the Remote Control (hey, I give way to her ok! *thumps chest*).
My role, on the other hand, is pretty simple .... everything else she doesn't cover! So I'm Mr Fix-It (replace bulbs, fix squeaky doors, unclog sinks/pipes, etc), Mr Toilet Auntie (yes yes, rub it in! 'tis I who cleans the bathrooms and loos! *puts on mask and toxic-proof vest*) ... and, of coz, Mr Exterminator (no prizes for guessing who gets rid of uninvited house pests with more than 2 legs that terrorise the wifey). Hoy, who just said "like 3-legged gorillas?"! *snarl*
Then there are the shared chores like grocery shopping, and doing the dishes and laundry. Speaking of laundry, the gorilla once gallantly attempted to help the wifey handwash her delicate (read: self-destructing) and richly coloured clothes (read: Oh shits! Either the gorilla is having his period or the reds are running and turning J's favourite yellow blouse a funky shade of orange!). Needless to say, the gorilla has been banished from The Kingdom of Competent Handwashers ever since and now lives in exile in The Land of No Brainer Washer/Dryer Loaders ... heh, not that he's complaining exactly! ;)
But wait, there are more tell-tale signs that the gorilla ain't exactly in Kansas anymore...
- Less time for "togo" (drinking) sessions with the guys.
- Less time to blog, surf pr0n, and check out new toys ... not necessarily in that order. Heh!
- Good chunk of the weekends now spent spring cleaning and grocery/appliance shopping. Whoopee. Yay-ness. *snore*
- The shoe rack has quadrupled in size and now resembles a multi-storey carpark.
- Furniture is not to be used as makeshift clothes racks ... or the gorilla might face extra laundry/ironing duties. :\
- Failure to mop up icky/watery mess after a bath is punishable by Long Black Face and Incessant
- The gorilla sometimes gets the creepy feeling that a younger clone of mummy dearest has moved in.
- Horror movies are banned as late night entertainment. Gorillas are not. Heh! "老婆 ... 再上?" ;)
Fortunately, there's definitely a bright side to being married too...
- Yummy cooked food and nicely pressed shirts magically appear.
- The house always smells nice and feels clean.
- The gorilla never runs out of toiletries ... especially not when he most needs it!
- The fridge is always stocked ... and it ain't only for folks on a liquid diet. *hic*
- There are always fresh, clean towels to soil.
- There's a cream or lotion for every conceivable need, even callous gorilla feet! Wowzer!
But most of all, the house is starting to feel like a real home ... so it's out with the old gorilla den and in with the residence of Mr and Mrs B. :) Yeah, it's great to have someone to share home life with (even if it means extra laundry duties), to kiss goodnight every night, and to greet you with a sleepy sexy smile in the mornings ... and that's not even counting all the other *koff* spousal duties *koff* one needs to fulfil ... and gladly too! Kekeke! Yup yup, I can get used to this life alright! ;)