Reflections on a quiet night...
Ken called last week demanding that I free up the entire weekend before my ROM, then Pete issued the very same order the next day. Heheh, ya don't have to be a mind reader to know what these two dickheads are up to. Can you peeps guess? Let's just say there better be plenty of booze and, y'know, general "debauchery"? Kekeke! An entire weekend and not just one night mind you! Woohoo, bring it on brudders!!! ;)
As the Big Day draws near, I find myself more often in a contemplative mood in the wee hours of the morning as I lie in bed beside J. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the ups and downs we've been through in our 4-year+ relationship ... but more importantly, what kept us going through the rough times and whether these will continue to serve us well in our married life. Heh, I may be incorrigibly cheeky, but if there's one thing I'm pretty serious about, it's the Big M. Forget about fairy tale romances ... this gorilla knows it's gonna take hard work to keep the flame burnin' long after grunting "I do" ... helped by plenty of good sex of coz. LOL! *ahem*
Being with J has taught me the importance of the 3L's ... Love, Listen, and Let Go. It's easy to love someone when everything's hunky dory, but it takes loads of patience and understanding to weather the bad times. Man, it's darn easy to become emotionally entangled in heated arguments, to wanna lash out ... so there's much to be said about stepping back and reminding myself that this is someone I care deeply for. Winning the argument isn't what's important ... working things out is, even if it means agreeing to disagree. And y'know, love isn't about grand gestures methinks, but the lil' thoughtful everyday things that warm the heart. The sum of the parts is greater than the whole ayte! ;)
And then there's Listening, something which ranks right up there for women ... and where guys typically screw up! Doh! Geez, if I could save a dollar for every time J said exasperatedly "You're not listening to what I'm saying!" (or words to that effect), I'll be Donald Trump ... without the fugly toupee of coz. Muahahaha! I know, I know ... I need to tune in and give my undivided attention coz it shows I respect and value her, but I've also gotta learn to keep my gorilla trap shut and not chip in with unsolicited advice and personal anecdotes. Yeah, quit being Mr Fix-It and just listen, mirror her mood, empathise ... and learn more about her as an individual.
My regional director (big big boss) who's been married for 25 years imparted a simple truth during a rare male bonding moment many moons ago. Don't sweat the small stuff, Buzz (he said) ... as a guy, identify the 3 to 5 things that you hold "sacred" (like watching/playing sports, hanging out with the blokes, splurging on favourite "toys", etc) and establish groundrules with the wifey about the need for private time to indulge in these. Everything else, just let go if it doesn't kill ya ... like if she decides to buy bright pink bedsheets or put fluffy cushions over toilet seats. LOL!
The other thing that's been on my mind is this blog. There'll come a time (perhaps soon) that I'll tell J about it and I can only hope that she sees it for what it is ... my lil' personal cyber sanctuary, a place for me to rant and rave. From Day One, I'd set out to write honestly about things from my gorilla pov ... BUT, there's always a fine line to walk between honesty and privacy online ... and I hope I've been able to balance the two (well, in J's eyes anyway).
So yeah, who knows what will become of this blog when that day arrives huh? Perhaps it'll survive intact ... or spawn a new blog ... or maybe mark the end of an interesting chapter in my life. But whatever the case, it's been one helluva fun and eye-opening journey, you guys ... and how can the gorilla ever forget all the helpful and hilarious advice from relationship matters to lingerie! Champion lah, you all! *big gorilla hug* LOL!
Yo J, if you do read this some day, just know that I write from my heart about us ... and that the single greatest joy for me in cyberspace is being able to share the happiness you bring me. Love you, babe!!! *passes kleenex* ;)
As the Big Day draws near, I find myself more often in a contemplative mood in the wee hours of the morning as I lie in bed beside J. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the ups and downs we've been through in our 4-year+ relationship ... but more importantly, what kept us going through the rough times and whether these will continue to serve us well in our married life. Heh, I may be incorrigibly cheeky, but if there's one thing I'm pretty serious about, it's the Big M. Forget about fairy tale romances ... this gorilla knows it's gonna take hard work to keep the flame burnin' long after grunting "I do" ... helped by plenty of good sex of coz. LOL! *ahem*
Being with J has taught me the importance of the 3L's ... Love, Listen, and Let Go. It's easy to love someone when everything's hunky dory, but it takes loads of patience and understanding to weather the bad times. Man, it's darn easy to become emotionally entangled in heated arguments, to wanna lash out ... so there's much to be said about stepping back and reminding myself that this is someone I care deeply for. Winning the argument isn't what's important ... working things out is, even if it means agreeing to disagree. And y'know, love isn't about grand gestures methinks, but the lil' thoughtful everyday things that warm the heart. The sum of the parts is greater than the whole ayte! ;)
And then there's Listening, something which ranks right up there for women ... and where guys typically screw up! Doh! Geez, if I could save a dollar for every time J said exasperatedly "You're not listening to what I'm saying!" (or words to that effect), I'll be Donald Trump ... without the fugly toupee of coz. Muahahaha! I know, I know ... I need to tune in and give my undivided attention coz it shows I respect and value her, but I've also gotta learn to keep my gorilla trap shut and not chip in with unsolicited advice and personal anecdotes. Yeah, quit being Mr Fix-It and just listen, mirror her mood, empathise ... and learn more about her as an individual.
My regional director (big big boss) who's been married for 25 years imparted a simple truth during a rare male bonding moment many moons ago. Don't sweat the small stuff, Buzz (he said) ... as a guy, identify the 3 to 5 things that you hold "sacred" (like watching/playing sports, hanging out with the blokes, splurging on favourite "toys", etc) and establish groundrules with the wifey about the need for private time to indulge in these. Everything else, just let go if it doesn't kill ya ... like if she decides to buy bright pink bedsheets or put fluffy cushions over toilet seats. LOL!
The other thing that's been on my mind is this blog. There'll come a time (perhaps soon) that I'll tell J about it and I can only hope that she sees it for what it is ... my lil' personal cyber sanctuary, a place for me to rant and rave. From Day One, I'd set out to write honestly about things from my gorilla pov ... BUT, there's always a fine line to walk between honesty and privacy online ... and I hope I've been able to balance the two (well, in J's eyes anyway).
So yeah, who knows what will become of this blog when that day arrives huh? Perhaps it'll survive intact ... or spawn a new blog ... or maybe mark the end of an interesting chapter in my life. But whatever the case, it's been one helluva fun and eye-opening journey, you guys ... and how can the gorilla ever forget all the helpful and hilarious advice from relationship matters to lingerie! Champion lah, you all! *big gorilla hug* LOL!
Yo J, if you do read this some day, just know that I write from my heart about us ... and that the single greatest joy for me in cyberspace is being able to share the happiness you bring me. Love you, babe!!! *passes kleenex* ;)