(no subject)

[buyourcream]

the past couple of months were difficult to say the least. i never really confronted how i was feeling or what i was actually going through. 
in two months i lost a best friend, my first kitten, a few dear friends, as well as a new friend.
my life literally fell apart. and i just ignored it and concentrated on other things. 
i've contemplated my whole lifestyle; felt my stomach fall to the floor, and finally accepted how i feel.

this has been such a turning point in my life. i'm still in shock that i actually live in michigan now.
living with my brother is nice, but i feel completely alienated. they're busy preparing for a baby, working, paying bills,etc. 
i dont expect much from them. i just wish i could show them that i can make it on my own, and have them feel proud of me instead of worry.

there's things i still need to deal with and all i can do is wait, keep myself busy, and keep my mind off of it. 
i accept the fact that i probably won't get closure, and expect the worse. because things hardly ever end up the way you want them to.
and the sad thing is, i'd probably be waiting for a long time, i have for this long.