Smartass Answers To Stupid Questions
So I saw that Gina wrote about her pre-cana experience and was so kind as to provide sample questions. Oh boy. While I do believe in marriage, I can't think of things I am more against than pre-cana. Personally the Church lowering itself to grant its permission to allow me to marry the person I've been with for almost 9 years makes want to not get married just to stick to them. They can deal with their own issues then worry about if I am worthy of marriage. Whew! Rant over. On to the humor.
I copied the questions from Gina and provided the answers I would have handed over to the priest or whoever would be bringing on the brainwash.
1. What should we do with our finances after we get married?
Finances? I’m sorry, I don’t understand what that means? PS I’m keeping my name to keep my own perfect credit.
2. How many children should we have and when should we start trying?
When stage diving stops becoming an issue. Also, see finances above. But seriously, before the age for serious birth defects kick in cause I’m just not that giving of a person.
3. How should we raise the children?
Circle that A, motherfuckers!!!!
4. How will we deal with holidays?
Europe. Or at the least wherever Inferno is touring. Mostly just wherever we don’t have to deal with family.
5. How will we balance work / family time?
Fuck work. If family won’t be your top priority you shouldn’t fucking be here.
6. How will marriage affect our careers?
Career? I don’t know what that is. But for realsies see 5 above.
7. How do you deal with in-laws and blending together two families?
Maybe if we put them all together in a room, they won’t notice we are not actually there. And alcohol. That is the answer to all of the questions, come to think of it. Yes, I’d like to change all previous responses, please.
I copied the questions from Gina and provided the answers I would have handed over to the priest or whoever would be bringing on the brainwash.
1. What should we do with our finances after we get married?
Finances? I’m sorry, I don’t understand what that means? PS I’m keeping my name to keep my own perfect credit.
2. How many children should we have and when should we start trying?
When stage diving stops becoming an issue. Also, see finances above. But seriously, before the age for serious birth defects kick in cause I’m just not that giving of a person.
3. How should we raise the children?
Circle that A, motherfuckers!!!!
4. How will we deal with holidays?
Europe. Or at the least wherever Inferno is touring. Mostly just wherever we don’t have to deal with family.
5. How will we balance work / family time?
Fuck work. If family won’t be your top priority you shouldn’t fucking be here.
6. How will marriage affect our careers?
Career? I don’t know what that is. But for realsies see 5 above.
7. How do you deal with in-laws and blending together two families?
Maybe if we put them all together in a room, they won’t notice we are not actually there. And alcohol. That is the answer to all of the questions, come to think of it. Yes, I’d like to change all previous responses, please.