(no subject)
Today wasnt as good as yesterday. It started out ok... but yeah, another fighting, drinking, depressing day.
Earl is my new best friend. As in My Name Is Earl. Its kept me busy and well... not happy, but ok.
Counseling assessment tomorrow. Not excited about it, but I know I need it.
Steve and I had another fight... but it was my fault. Or the depressions fault, really. Sure steve is insensitive sometimes, but I should know better then to take it personally now. I think he spends too much time with Darcy, and I feel like hes abandoning me half the time, and thats what we fought over. but i understand him not wanting to spend all his time with me when i feel like this.
i broke down and started crying, he hugged me and started making lame suggestions about how i can snap out of this depression. he says i need to make new friends. which is true, but easier said then done. especially in the state of mind im in right now. i mean, i wouldnt want to be friends with a manic depressive when shes at a low point.
anyway, he agreed to take me out tomorrow. get me out of the house, make me feel better, and all that jazz. And Im determined to go to class... so yeah, its a start.
why does it feel like one step forward, two steps back? I'm just so fucking tired of feeling this way.
Earl is my new best friend. As in My Name Is Earl. Its kept me busy and well... not happy, but ok.
Counseling assessment tomorrow. Not excited about it, but I know I need it.
Steve and I had another fight... but it was my fault. Or the depressions fault, really. Sure steve is insensitive sometimes, but I should know better then to take it personally now. I think he spends too much time with Darcy, and I feel like hes abandoning me half the time, and thats what we fought over. but i understand him not wanting to spend all his time with me when i feel like this.
i broke down and started crying, he hugged me and started making lame suggestions about how i can snap out of this depression. he says i need to make new friends. which is true, but easier said then done. especially in the state of mind im in right now. i mean, i wouldnt want to be friends with a manic depressive when shes at a low point.
anyway, he agreed to take me out tomorrow. get me out of the house, make me feel better, and all that jazz. And Im determined to go to class... so yeah, its a start.
why does it feel like one step forward, two steps back? I'm just so fucking tired of feeling this way.