Both Our Steaks
My wife hasn’t been talking to me too much after finding those pubic hairs in my study but you know what? That’s fine with me-- I even rather enjoy it! I especially enjoy the fact that I don’t have to fuck her. How I abhor trying to stick my half-limp (I can never get it completely hard for her) dick into that woman’s smelly cooze, so sickening and frightening I almost always wake up the next morning, looking in the mirror and then puking all over the bathroom. With Greta being the only woman I’ve ever really been with, been close to, it makes me wonder if women wear perfume - not because they are the “fairer” sex, mind you-but because they have to do something, apply some sort of substance to nullify that wretched smell of dead cat rot between their legs.
I wonder if Greta (my wife)has some sort of infection, or something, because whenever I fuck her(I always fuck her “doggie-style so as to have to minimally touch her) the odor emitting from her vagina is so rank, so palpable, that it is a miserable, depressing sight I would think, me grimacing; turning my head, nearly doing a complete 180 like the girl on the exorcist!-trying to avoid the smell. I’m thrusting weakly in and out, my half-limp dick being covered in her smelly, sticky inner grime as I hear her revolting whimpers of pleasure. The smell is worse when I do her doggy, but I don’t have to touch her much so it’s a tough call. I’d rather not have to fuck her at all, of course.
We went out to dinner last night and I just had to tell her what was on my mind. It’s funny because she was actually in a good mood, was flirting with me, giving me googly eyes as we waited for our steaks to arrive. It filled me with dread because I knew she was feeling frisky and I’d have to fuck her later on. “You know, I think maybe I believe you that those pubic hairs were yours,” she said. “Come to think of it, your pubes were much lighter back in college. I still think it’s weird that you would save them, but I do believe you now.” Of course, Wilma was wrong; I was lying to her-they were my college friend Jim’s, of course, from the day I first sucked a cock
“Well, good then,” I said to her, “now I have something to tell you from the heart.”
“Oh yeah?” What is that?” Wilma said. She leaned forward, fiddled with the straw in her drink, batted her eyes at me, expecting some sort of loving response from me. But I stood up straight in my chair, took a deep breath and simply said to her, “Wilma, your pussy stinks. I think you may have a yeast infection and I can’t fuck you again until you go the doctor to have it checked out.” You should have seen the frown on her face after that! Needless, to say, I got to eat both of our steaks. Heheheheee. Sniff it it sniffi ittttt.
I wonder if Greta (my wife)has some sort of infection, or something, because whenever I fuck her(I always fuck her “doggie-style so as to have to minimally touch her) the odor emitting from her vagina is so rank, so palpable, that it is a miserable, depressing sight I would think, me grimacing; turning my head, nearly doing a complete 180 like the girl on the exorcist!-trying to avoid the smell. I’m thrusting weakly in and out, my half-limp dick being covered in her smelly, sticky inner grime as I hear her revolting whimpers of pleasure. The smell is worse when I do her doggy, but I don’t have to touch her much so it’s a tough call. I’d rather not have to fuck her at all, of course.
We went out to dinner last night and I just had to tell her what was on my mind. It’s funny because she was actually in a good mood, was flirting with me, giving me googly eyes as we waited for our steaks to arrive. It filled me with dread because I knew she was feeling frisky and I’d have to fuck her later on. “You know, I think maybe I believe you that those pubic hairs were yours,” she said. “Come to think of it, your pubes were much lighter back in college. I still think it’s weird that you would save them, but I do believe you now.” Of course, Wilma was wrong; I was lying to her-they were my college friend Jim’s, of course, from the day I first sucked a cock
“Well, good then,” I said to her, “now I have something to tell you from the heart.”
“Oh yeah?” What is that?” Wilma said. She leaned forward, fiddled with the straw in her drink, batted her eyes at me, expecting some sort of loving response from me. But I stood up straight in my chair, took a deep breath and simply said to her, “Wilma, your pussy stinks. I think you may have a yeast infection and I can’t fuck you again until you go the doctor to have it checked out.” You should have seen the frown on her face after that! Needless, to say, I got to eat both of our steaks. Heheheheee. Sniff it it sniffi ittttt.