Yeah...um
Haven't posted in a while I guess. I was trying to avoid the obligatory "it's been a year since Jacob died" post that I know people were -dreading-. I know it gets old, but I'm still not completely over it, so whatever.
I'm not doing well in Psychology and Biology. It depresses me. I am trying to study harder so that I can get into a four year college. I'm actually hoping to get into Notre Dame, Saint Mary's or Holy Cross up north. I want to be far away from the bullshit that surrounds this state. Start a new life, away from my mother and her drama. Some people just like conflict in their lives I guess. I know I am not one of them.
I tried to go back and read entries I've missed, I think I'm caught up but if anyone wants me to see something, point me to it. I'm lazy, who cares.
I interviewed at Starbucks yesterday because they have better benefits. And are nicer. I hope Keith chokes. Really.
Went to see Running With Scissors at the dollar movies with Tyler 2 weeks ago tonight. He invited me to have dinner with him and Kate one night. Kate being his girlfriend. So, last Thursday I went. It was nice. After I got home, he texted me. "Have fun? Think I should marry her?" So, yeah. Yeah.
I've been thinking about Jacob a lot lately. I don't know if it's the time of year or what. Maybe its the fact that after a year, he's still the first person I think of when something good or bad happens. He is the one I used to tell everything to, and now I don't -want- to tell anyone everything. I don't want to open up again and tell someone how I feel about this and that. And even though I'm incredibly lonely, I don't want to have a relationship or a possible closeness like Jacob and I once had, because I can't trust it.
Sorry about the emoness.
I'm not doing well in Psychology and Biology. It depresses me. I am trying to study harder so that I can get into a four year college. I'm actually hoping to get into Notre Dame, Saint Mary's or Holy Cross up north. I want to be far away from the bullshit that surrounds this state. Start a new life, away from my mother and her drama. Some people just like conflict in their lives I guess. I know I am not one of them.
I tried to go back and read entries I've missed, I think I'm caught up but if anyone wants me to see something, point me to it. I'm lazy, who cares.
I interviewed at Starbucks yesterday because they have better benefits. And are nicer. I hope Keith chokes. Really.
Went to see Running With Scissors at the dollar movies with Tyler 2 weeks ago tonight. He invited me to have dinner with him and Kate one night. Kate being his girlfriend. So, last Thursday I went. It was nice. After I got home, he texted me. "Have fun? Think I should marry her?" So, yeah. Yeah.
I've been thinking about Jacob a lot lately. I don't know if it's the time of year or what. Maybe its the fact that after a year, he's still the first person I think of when something good or bad happens. He is the one I used to tell everything to, and now I don't -want- to tell anyone everything. I don't want to open up again and tell someone how I feel about this and that. And even though I'm incredibly lonely, I don't want to have a relationship or a possible closeness like Jacob and I once had, because I can't trust it.
Sorry about the emoness.