(no subject)
Well I graduated.. and it was a really sucky day.. but today was the toughest day I've had in a long time.
I love David but things just aren't working between us right now. he has so much stuff to straighten out in his life and as much as I hate to leave him while he's going through it.. I can't go through it with him because it's tearing me apart. We're both stressed all the time dealing with our own lives and since we're not together(like in the same town)it makes it harder when we can't talk to each other or get hugs when we need them or even just be in each other's prescence when everything around us sucks.
I love him because he loves me so much.. he was trying to straighten his life out so we could be together and so his life will be better. But I hate sitting here not being able to do anything.. always worrying about him.. and stressed out praying he'd get that phone call..
And now I'll still be worried about him because I care about him soooo much.. and it kills me knowing that ending this is shattering what is left of his world.. and I hate myself for it. But being with him right now isn't healthy for me or for Kayleigh. I need to not be stressed and depressed so I can be the best mom I can be for her. I can't eat i can't sleep... This is the 2nd hardest decision I've ever had to make..
Ok on to another topic... more sad news... my cousin Robbie 16 years old (for only 4 days) has passed away. His heart stopped the weekend after the special olympics adn my graduation.. and he slipped into a coma and died 2 days later..
Kayleighs partenity test was this week...
So this passed month hasn't been all that great... but something good did happen in the midst of it all.. my aunt finally got married.. an old friend resurfaced.. and a friend of mine is going to have a baby.. ok well it's late.. so I'm gonna try to get some sleep..
I love David but things just aren't working between us right now. he has so much stuff to straighten out in his life and as much as I hate to leave him while he's going through it.. I can't go through it with him because it's tearing me apart. We're both stressed all the time dealing with our own lives and since we're not together(like in the same town)it makes it harder when we can't talk to each other or get hugs when we need them or even just be in each other's prescence when everything around us sucks.
I love him because he loves me so much.. he was trying to straighten his life out so we could be together and so his life will be better. But I hate sitting here not being able to do anything.. always worrying about him.. and stressed out praying he'd get that phone call..
And now I'll still be worried about him because I care about him soooo much.. and it kills me knowing that ending this is shattering what is left of his world.. and I hate myself for it. But being with him right now isn't healthy for me or for Kayleigh. I need to not be stressed and depressed so I can be the best mom I can be for her. I can't eat i can't sleep... This is the 2nd hardest decision I've ever had to make..
Ok on to another topic... more sad news... my cousin Robbie 16 years old (for only 4 days) has passed away. His heart stopped the weekend after the special olympics adn my graduation.. and he slipped into a coma and died 2 days later..
Kayleighs partenity test was this week...
So this passed month hasn't been all that great... but something good did happen in the midst of it all.. my aunt finally got married.. an old friend resurfaced.. and a friend of mine is going to have a baby.. ok well it's late.. so I'm gonna try to get some sleep..