(no subject)
The sweetest woman came into the pet store today with her daughter with autism...i ended up standing in line talking to her about how my mother is my angel for all the stuff she dealed with and went through to make sure i grew up healthy and as normal as possible and how the greatest people in the world to me are parents with children with disabilities (physical mental whatever)...then she went on to explain to me how her daughter was the one who saved her from drugs and from a horrible life...then she asked me if i had faith in god...i didnt even pause...i told her yes...not meaning jesus not meaning christianity meaning yes i do believe in god i have faith there is something controlling this world that is much greater than us...there is some great plan...im just not sure what is controlling this...ive been thinking about all this all day...tonight i was going to watch a lil tv and go to bed...somehow i ended up watching saved (which very much portrays my views on certain types of christians that have pushed me away from this religion) then i flipped through the channel and yet another mandy moore movie, a walk to remember, was on...this was the most depressing movie ive ever seen...its scary to fall in love but to be so young and in love and to find out she has leukaimia....not yes i sobbed and sobbed for this ....but this movie also portrayed what i believe a true christian should be like...this girl was so selfless, so forgiving, and beared so much faith in everything and everyone around her...all my life i have been surrounded by nothing but the negative image of christianity by the people who embody this negative image (all except my best friend shana of course)...in the last year or so i have acquired quite a few friends that are surrounded by such peace and positivity about their faith ....but they are never forceful or never judging...they are the image of christianity that i believe was intended when the religion was founded...myu mind will not stop racing tonight....i dont know if ill be going to church soon or letting jesus into my heart or whatever...but something touched me today and i very much so plan to delve into it deeper in the near future...