conversation this evening....
B(ben):I've never cared about anyone so much in my life
Claire gives him a kiss and they relax a little while, but Claire oddly looks so very depressed....
B:What's wrong? are you mad at me?
C(claire):no dont worry about it
B:tell me whats wrong...don't you trust me?
C:yes i trust you its not that at all...leave it! im not talking about this
B:you have to be able to talk to me about these things
C:no theres certain things that shouldn't be talked about
B:fine i made you sad I'll leave you alone about it now
C:ugghh you didnt do anything
the end
truthfully he hasnt done anything...he hasn't said i love you and there is the problem...i have my ultimatum i will stick to it...but its getting harder every day because i love this kid will all my heart and soul...and 10 months should have been enough time for him to realize the same, but I guess not....I know my blogs are the same thing all the time...the same problem but this is my problem...this is what is driving me up the wall...i love him...i want to spend the rest of my life with him...marry him...fucking have his children (well probably adopt)...and of course not all of this now...there is lots of time for these things...but right now i need him to say this ....cause i cry every night about it...my heart is constantly crying out for it...i have never needed anything or anyone so much in my life...and soon i know i will break down to him and i dont want it to be like that i dont want him to say it just to keep me there...cause god i want to stay but what else can i do?....suggestions anyone seriously? cause im running out of ideas...my wonderfulness that he sees in me is draining cause i am using it 100% of the time just to make sure i am putting every ounce into him falling in love with me...im going to empty out soon...im going to snap...i dont know what to do anymore...i just want to love him and be with him and that be enough but it hurts so badly when you're not sure the other person feels the same...i want to scream...i want to go crazy and disapear...but most of all i want to say i love you when saying goodbye at night....thats all...i want to hear those words coming out of his mouth..........dear god ive never wanted anything so badly in my life...
Claire gives him a kiss and they relax a little while, but Claire oddly looks so very depressed....
B:What's wrong? are you mad at me?
C(claire):no dont worry about it
B:tell me whats wrong...don't you trust me?
C:yes i trust you its not that at all...leave it! im not talking about this
B:you have to be able to talk to me about these things
C:no theres certain things that shouldn't be talked about
B:fine i made you sad I'll leave you alone about it now
C:ugghh you didnt do anything
the end
truthfully he hasnt done anything...he hasn't said i love you and there is the problem...i have my ultimatum i will stick to it...but its getting harder every day because i love this kid will all my heart and soul...and 10 months should have been enough time for him to realize the same, but I guess not....I know my blogs are the same thing all the time...the same problem but this is my problem...this is what is driving me up the wall...i love him...i want to spend the rest of my life with him...marry him...fucking have his children (well probably adopt)...and of course not all of this now...there is lots of time for these things...but right now i need him to say this ....cause i cry every night about it...my heart is constantly crying out for it...i have never needed anything or anyone so much in my life...and soon i know i will break down to him and i dont want it to be like that i dont want him to say it just to keep me there...cause god i want to stay but what else can i do?....suggestions anyone seriously? cause im running out of ideas...my wonderfulness that he sees in me is draining cause i am using it 100% of the time just to make sure i am putting every ounce into him falling in love with me...im going to empty out soon...im going to snap...i dont know what to do anymore...i just want to love him and be with him and that be enough but it hurts so badly when you're not sure the other person feels the same...i want to scream...i want to go crazy and disapear...but most of all i want to say i love you when saying goodbye at night....thats all...i want to hear those words coming out of his mouth..........dear god ive never wanted anything so badly in my life...