when I grow up, I want to be a lumberjack
I wanted to expand on my feelings concerning forestry club from a few entries ago. It's hard deciding what I want to do about forestry club. I hate how awkward it is, but I love the activities. I don't fit in. I never will. And that's fine, but I feel stupid when I go to club meetings or woodsmen practice. I don't really talk to anyone, because I don't know what to talk to them about. I don't know anything about trees, or hunting, or the civil war. I've tried in the past to be friendly and make conversation, but it doesn't work. I get little or no response from most guys. Let's face it, I'm the enemy. Let's list the reasons of what's wrong with me (in their eyes): female, liberal, yankee, punk, opinionated, strong (Rafael used that word). It's awkward. It would be really nice if I could feel welcomed there; I don't think that's too much to ask. It's possible to be respectful to people without liking them.
I'm really good at the woodsmen stuff. At Rolleo last year, I got first place in the jack and jill and the women's crosscut. I'm willing to work really hard to do well, and I want to win. If I don't do woodsmen team this year, those guys are missing out. But I'm not going to do it if I'm just going to feel alienated and unwelcome.
FYI I do have a reason for writing all of this.
I'm really good at the woodsmen stuff. At Rolleo last year, I got first place in the jack and jill and the women's crosscut. I'm willing to work really hard to do well, and I want to win. If I don't do woodsmen team this year, those guys are missing out. But I'm not going to do it if I'm just going to feel alienated and unwelcome.
FYI I do have a reason for writing all of this.