Yesterday was a strange day.
for about 14 hours yesterday, i'd swear you could have labelled me relatively if not clinically insane.
i was convinced, completely and absolutely, that the entire world, everyone around me, and also my own body and all my memories, had been constructed to keep me captive somehow, and that i wasn't even human, that i was some sort of... i don't know, extremely powerful entity which had been forced by its captors to be convinced that it was human. i was under the impression that they had put me into this body and implanted all these memories. and i guess everyone i meet is my in on the same deal. and they're not human either. maybe humans don't even exist. or maybe they existed a long time ago. or something. i don't know. i don't know what i was thinking. i don't know why. i wrote on my walls that i was on to them... you... all of you, and that you needed to try harder and it wouldn't matter how hard you tried because i'd break free anyway and you can't keep me captive forever, no matter how much you'd like to. the world would be united, should i escape. i assimilate everyone into this... harmonious ... collective i don't know. i don't remember. everyone would be happy though. everyone's individuality would still remain. they'd all be working for individual matters for the collective. so umm... yeah. for about 14 hours yesterday, i thought i was some sort of lost or fallen god, and that i needed to realise exactly who and how i was in order to break free, and assimilate all my captors - you - into my... umm mind, and once all of you stopped resisting and actually just sat down and thought about it for a while, you'd realise it was actually a GOOD thing, as it would mean the end to all forms of oppression and blahblah. it kind of sounds like communist daycare bullsht, but the difference was that it'd actually work. also, communism and religion had been presented as a useless joke in my implanted memories because you wanted me to think that anything that even resembled the idea of who i really am was redundant and pointless. of course, i suddenly realised ''umm... no. i'm pretty much human, and the world and everyone around me isn't a constructed conspiracy to hold me captive, unable to realise my true potential. i'm also hungry and my walls have shit written on them with ink and crayons. my parents are going to be very confused as to why this is.''
and then i proceeded to clean my walls.
that was my day.
how was yours?
i was convinced, completely and absolutely, that the entire world, everyone around me, and also my own body and all my memories, had been constructed to keep me captive somehow, and that i wasn't even human, that i was some sort of... i don't know, extremely powerful entity which had been forced by its captors to be convinced that it was human. i was under the impression that they had put me into this body and implanted all these memories. and i guess everyone i meet is my in on the same deal. and they're not human either. maybe humans don't even exist. or maybe they existed a long time ago. or something. i don't know. i don't know what i was thinking. i don't know why. i wrote on my walls that i was on to them... you... all of you, and that you needed to try harder and it wouldn't matter how hard you tried because i'd break free anyway and you can't keep me captive forever, no matter how much you'd like to. the world would be united, should i escape. i assimilate everyone into this... harmonious ... collective i don't know. i don't remember. everyone would be happy though. everyone's individuality would still remain. they'd all be working for individual matters for the collective. so umm... yeah. for about 14 hours yesterday, i thought i was some sort of lost or fallen god, and that i needed to realise exactly who and how i was in order to break free, and assimilate all my captors - you - into my... umm mind, and once all of you stopped resisting and actually just sat down and thought about it for a while, you'd realise it was actually a GOOD thing, as it would mean the end to all forms of oppression and blahblah. it kind of sounds like communist daycare bullsht, but the difference was that it'd actually work. also, communism and religion had been presented as a useless joke in my implanted memories because you wanted me to think that anything that even resembled the idea of who i really am was redundant and pointless. of course, i suddenly realised ''umm... no. i'm pretty much human, and the world and everyone around me isn't a constructed conspiracy to hold me captive, unable to realise my true potential. i'm also hungry and my walls have shit written on them with ink and crayons. my parents are going to be very confused as to why this is.''
and then i proceeded to clean my walls.
that was my day.
how was yours?