Starlight Crashing Through the Room Part Six
The rest of the week passed without incident. In spite of that, I was more miserable than I’d ever been. I wasn’t eating as much as I should be been, even though all of my friends were constantly nagging me about it. I learned to eat just enough to satisfy them, but I could still feel myself losing weight very fast, and when I weighed in on Friday, I found that I had dropped five pounds. No one commented, but Spoony gave me a look of deep disapproval tinged with pity. I ignored it.
When practice was over, Spoony and I got through the locker room quickly and had just headed toward the door when we ran into Marzgurl, who was just coming out of rehearsal.
“Hey, Marz,” I said.
“Hey,” she said. “How was wrestling?”
“Fine,” I said. “How was rehearsal?”
She rolled her eyes. “Terrible. But that’s just Critic.” She walked with us toward the door. “You guys doing anything tomorrow?”
“I’m not,” I said.
“No,” Spoony said.
“You guys wanna go see Romeo and Juliet with me and Roses?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Why do you want to see that?” I asked.
“Miss Cory’s giving extra credit if you turn in a ticket,” Marzgurl said. “And the guy on the poster’s cute…Leonardo something.”
Spoony shrugged. “Extra credit’s good,” he said.
I smiled slightly. “Sure,” I said. “What time?”
“We’re going to the three o’clock,” she said. “You need a ride?”
“Nah, I’ll walk,” I said.
“Same,” Spoony said.
“Cool,” she said. “See you!” With that, she dashed out the door.
Spoony smirked at me as soon as she was gone. “Well?” he said.
“Well what?”
“I think she likes you.”
I laughed. It was a common assumption that Marzgurl and I had a thing for each other. “Nah,” I said. “We’re just friends. And she knows that.”
Spoony raised his eyebrows. “You sure?”
“Trust me,” I said. “We’ve known each other forever and we worked that out years ago.”
“Okay.” For some reason, Spoony looked awfully relieved at that.
“So you can go for her,” I said, figuring that was what he wanted. But somehow, saying it felt wrong.
He looked confused. “What?”
“You know. If you were holding back because you thought she liked me.”
“Oh.” He paused a moment. “No. She’s nice, but she’s not really my type.”
“Okay,” I said, suddenly feeling a lot better.
Later that night, after forcing down enough dinner to keep my mom from worrying, I lay awake, wondering why the idea of Spoony liking Marzgurl was so distressing to me.
It wasn’t because of Marzgurl. She knew I was gay and accepted it. We had grown up together, almost as brother and sister. Our parents were always dropping hints, mine more than hers, but we had always ignored them.
It wasn’t even that she was my best friend and I was a bit protective of her. If she was going to go out with anyone, Spoony was actually a good choice. After all, he was nice and funny and cute…
And that was when I had to confront the real reason. That I didn’t want Spoony to like Marzgurl because I liked Spoony.
Honestly, it wasn’t that much of a shock to realize it. I had always been attracted to wispy, soulful boys (truth be told, Leonardo di Caprio was a much better incentive to see Romeo + Juliet than extra credit), and Spoony fit the bill perfectly. It didn’t help that I always liked being a hero and Spoony allowed me to do that and that we had to work together to survive and that he helped me so much, even if he couldn’t see it…
I closed my eyes and unbidden, a vision came to mind of me and Spoony going to the movie theater alone, buying tickets to something a little more manly, sitting at the back, close together, maybe holding hands for a while before leaning in…
I smacked myself, forcing the thought to go away. It wasn’t going to happen. Spoony probably wasn’t into guys and if he was, he certainly wasn’t into me. Why would he be? I was obnoxious and overweight and had no self-control. Besides, we were best friends, and already on thin ice with the wrestling team. I wasn’t going to lose him or put him in more danger.
*
It was a bit colder than I normally would have liked, but the theater wasn’t too far away, and I was glad to have some time to walk and think alone, trying to figure out how I was supposed to act around Spoony now.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t figured that out by the time I got to the theater. The others were already there. The girls were babbling about how gorgeous Leonardo looked on the poster while Spoony stood by, looking slightly amused. I smiled at him. “Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” he answered. “Can we get in before I have to hear any more about Leo’s dreamy eyes?”
I grinned. “What? You don’t agree?”
He shrugged. “They could at least mention Claire Danes is hot, too.”
I forced a laugh. Of course he was into girls. “Let’s just go in. It’s freezing out here.”
We got inside and into the theater, saving our tickets carefully to turn in on Monday. I sat between Spoony and Marzgurl, trying very hard to focus on the movie and not how close to Spoony I was. Unfortunately, the movie wasn’t interesting enough and Leonardo di Caprio wasn’t pretty enough to hold my attention for too long.
When the movie was over, we all retreated back to the sidewalk to wait for Marzgurl’s parents.
“Well, there’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back,” Spoony muttered.
“It wasn’t that bad,” Roses said. “I mean, it was boring as tar, but it looked pretty.”
“Do you mean the production or Leo?” Marzgurl asked.
“Both,” Roses admitted.
“I am so not looking forward to reading this,” Spoony grumbled.
“You didn’t have to come,” I pointed out.
“I need the points,” he said. “That class is killing me.”
“I can help, you know,” I said. “I’m in advanced.”
“Might have to accept that,” Spoony said. “At least get you to edit papers.”
“Can do,” I said with a smile.
Maybe we could never be more than friends. But if I got to spend time with him, that was okay.
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When practice was over, Spoony and I got through the locker room quickly and had just headed toward the door when we ran into Marzgurl, who was just coming out of rehearsal.
“Hey, Marz,” I said.
“Hey,” she said. “How was wrestling?”
“Fine,” I said. “How was rehearsal?”
She rolled her eyes. “Terrible. But that’s just Critic.” She walked with us toward the door. “You guys doing anything tomorrow?”
“I’m not,” I said.
“No,” Spoony said.
“You guys wanna go see Romeo and Juliet with me and Roses?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Why do you want to see that?” I asked.
“Miss Cory’s giving extra credit if you turn in a ticket,” Marzgurl said. “And the guy on the poster’s cute…Leonardo something.”
Spoony shrugged. “Extra credit’s good,” he said.
I smiled slightly. “Sure,” I said. “What time?”
“We’re going to the three o’clock,” she said. “You need a ride?”
“Nah, I’ll walk,” I said.
“Same,” Spoony said.
“Cool,” she said. “See you!” With that, she dashed out the door.
Spoony smirked at me as soon as she was gone. “Well?” he said.
“Well what?”
“I think she likes you.”
I laughed. It was a common assumption that Marzgurl and I had a thing for each other. “Nah,” I said. “We’re just friends. And she knows that.”
Spoony raised his eyebrows. “You sure?”
“Trust me,” I said. “We’ve known each other forever and we worked that out years ago.”
“Okay.” For some reason, Spoony looked awfully relieved at that.
“So you can go for her,” I said, figuring that was what he wanted. But somehow, saying it felt wrong.
He looked confused. “What?”
“You know. If you were holding back because you thought she liked me.”
“Oh.” He paused a moment. “No. She’s nice, but she’s not really my type.”
“Okay,” I said, suddenly feeling a lot better.
Later that night, after forcing down enough dinner to keep my mom from worrying, I lay awake, wondering why the idea of Spoony liking Marzgurl was so distressing to me.
It wasn’t because of Marzgurl. She knew I was gay and accepted it. We had grown up together, almost as brother and sister. Our parents were always dropping hints, mine more than hers, but we had always ignored them.
It wasn’t even that she was my best friend and I was a bit protective of her. If she was going to go out with anyone, Spoony was actually a good choice. After all, he was nice and funny and cute…
And that was when I had to confront the real reason. That I didn’t want Spoony to like Marzgurl because I liked Spoony.
Honestly, it wasn’t that much of a shock to realize it. I had always been attracted to wispy, soulful boys (truth be told, Leonardo di Caprio was a much better incentive to see Romeo + Juliet than extra credit), and Spoony fit the bill perfectly. It didn’t help that I always liked being a hero and Spoony allowed me to do that and that we had to work together to survive and that he helped me so much, even if he couldn’t see it…
I closed my eyes and unbidden, a vision came to mind of me and Spoony going to the movie theater alone, buying tickets to something a little more manly, sitting at the back, close together, maybe holding hands for a while before leaning in…
I smacked myself, forcing the thought to go away. It wasn’t going to happen. Spoony probably wasn’t into guys and if he was, he certainly wasn’t into me. Why would he be? I was obnoxious and overweight and had no self-control. Besides, we were best friends, and already on thin ice with the wrestling team. I wasn’t going to lose him or put him in more danger.
*
It was a bit colder than I normally would have liked, but the theater wasn’t too far away, and I was glad to have some time to walk and think alone, trying to figure out how I was supposed to act around Spoony now.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t figured that out by the time I got to the theater. The others were already there. The girls were babbling about how gorgeous Leonardo looked on the poster while Spoony stood by, looking slightly amused. I smiled at him. “Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” he answered. “Can we get in before I have to hear any more about Leo’s dreamy eyes?”
I grinned. “What? You don’t agree?”
He shrugged. “They could at least mention Claire Danes is hot, too.”
I forced a laugh. Of course he was into girls. “Let’s just go in. It’s freezing out here.”
We got inside and into the theater, saving our tickets carefully to turn in on Monday. I sat between Spoony and Marzgurl, trying very hard to focus on the movie and not how close to Spoony I was. Unfortunately, the movie wasn’t interesting enough and Leonardo di Caprio wasn’t pretty enough to hold my attention for too long.
When the movie was over, we all retreated back to the sidewalk to wait for Marzgurl’s parents.
“Well, there’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back,” Spoony muttered.
“It wasn’t that bad,” Roses said. “I mean, it was boring as tar, but it looked pretty.”
“Do you mean the production or Leo?” Marzgurl asked.
“Both,” Roses admitted.
“I am so not looking forward to reading this,” Spoony grumbled.
“You didn’t have to come,” I pointed out.
“I need the points,” he said. “That class is killing me.”
“I can help, you know,” I said. “I’m in advanced.”
“Might have to accept that,” Spoony said. “At least get you to edit papers.”
“Can do,” I said with a smile.
Maybe we could never be more than friends. But if I got to spend time with him, that was okay.
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