Starlight Crashing Through the Room Part Five
He didn’t seem much better four hours later when I saw him in math, but he at least tried to smile when he sat down. “You okay?” I asked.
“Fine,” he said. “Just tired.”
I knew he was lying, but I didn’t want to push him. I kept glancing at him all through the lesson, but he didn’t look at me, merely focusing on learning the formula. After the lecture, he didn’t move closer to me, didn’t instantly ask me for help, only bent his head over his book and worked silently. I didn’t bother him. He would talk when he was ready.
The bell rang and we started toward the cafeteria. Linkara still didn’t say anything and once we sat down, I noticed he didn’t get any food or look at anyone, just laid his head on the table.
The others looked at him with varying degrees of concern. “Linkara?” Marzgurl asked tentatively. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” he snapped without looking up.
“Don’t you want some lunch?” Nella asked.
“I’m not hungry,” he said.
The others exchanged a puzzled look, but I suddenly realized what was happening. “Linkara, this isn’t the way,” I said. “You won’t get any better by starving yourself.”
“I’m fine,” he repeated.
Critic glared. “Oh, no,” he said. “You’re not going down that road. Now eat something or I will excommunicate you from the Drama Club!”
Linkara raised his head and glared back. “I don’t think that’s the right word,” he grumbled.
“Here,” I said. “Eat an apple.” I passed mine over to him.
He sighed and accepted it, pointedly munching on it as Critic glared. “And don’t you immediately run to the bathroom and get rid of it,” Critic ordered. “I’ve seen too many wrestlers fall apart in an effort to lose weight.”
Linkara said nothing. I exchanged a look with Critic and nodded, knowing that it was going to be my job to ensure Linkara stayed healthy as much as I could.
Nothing more was said over lunch. Afterwards, I walked Linkara to his next class in spite of him glaring silently at the floor the whole way. I knew Critic was right and that we needed to prevent Linkara from really hurting himself, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to be the target of his anger.
I kept thinking about that through my last two classes and worrying about what Linkara would do when I wasn’t there to help him. I wasn’t even sure I could help him at all, and it scared me. He had already done so much for me. I hated being powerless to save him.
When we met again after school, Linkara at least looked a little more alive, though that only made his glower more forceful. “I’m going to tell you once so you can tell Critic,” he snapped as soon as he saw me. “Stay out of my life.”
I shook my head. “You have to eat,” I said. “No matter what they say, no matter what the scale shows. If you need to lose weight, there are healthier ways to do it.”
“I don’t need you to mother me,” he snarled.
“Did you eat anything over the weekend?” I asked.
He glared at me. “Yes,” he snapped. “So leave me alone.”
I sighed. “Look…we have enough problems. We don’t need to be fighting each other. So please, take care of yourself.”
He sighed as well. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But I have to do this by any means necessary.”
I didn’t argue any further. There wasn’t really anything more I could say. We got into the locker room, changed quickly, and got to practice. Unfortunately, we were soon reminded why we were actually practicing.
“Listen up!” Coach Ogreski called. “Our first meet is in Des Moines next Saturday and I expect all of you to kick ass! So anyone seen slacking will feel pain! It’s a one-day trip with a four-hour bus ride, so be here at 5:30 because we’re leaving at 6!”
I groaned internally. Eight hours on a bus with a bunch of psychopaths. At least at the tournament I’d be able to get away from them.
Linkara didn’t look any happier. If anything, he looked as though he would pass out, though I wasn’t sure if it was from nerves or lack of nutrition.
Practice started before I had a chance to talk to him. I tried to focus, but I was too worried about him and I did worse than I had since the beginning, which of course meant that I got yelled at a lot. After the requisite hour of torment, I headed back to the locker room, hoping I could avoid everyone.
I managed to get in and shower without anyone bothering me. I was half-dressed when I realized Linkara wasn’t with me. I looked around quickly, trying to locate him, but I couldn’t see him anywhere. The seniors were joking and roughhousing with each other, mercifully not paying attention to me. I finished getting dressed quickly and slipped out of the room.
I found Linkara quickly, in the hall between the lockers and the weight room. I could tell he hadn’t gone into the locker room at all. He sat by the wall, his knees drawn to his chest, his head down. I approached him cautiously. “Linkara?” I said tentatively.
He raised his head slightly and I could see that he had been crying. I sat down next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. “You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “I just thought I’d wait until they were gone…didn’t want to listen to it today.”
I nodded. “I get it. But it could be a while.”
He shrugged. “That’s okay.”
We sat there for a long time, not speaking. I kept my hand on the back of his shoulder, rubbing small circles on his back. He moved closer to me, kind of leaning on my shoulder, and I kind of moved my arm around him, stroking his back more, trying to comfort him the same way he comforted me.
After a few minutes, I heard footsteps and voices as the rest of the team left. We waited another minute before we got up and went into the locker room. I sat on a bench and waited while Linkara showered and changed. Once he was finished, we finally headed out.
“Maybe we should keep doing that,” I said.
Linkara shook his head. “Don’t think our moms would like waiting for us,” he muttered.
I shrugged. “Which do you prefer? Getting the shit beaten out of you or mildly inconveniencing our moms?”
“Point,” he sighed. “At least until they forget about us.”
“Or we find a way to quit with dignity.”
“My dad won’t let me unless I sign up for another sport.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Why is your dad so obsessed with sports?”
He blushed and looked away. “I…I think he just wants me to be more active.”
I could tell he was lying, but I decided not to push it. Whatever it was, he would tell me when he wanted me to know.
We left school and went to our respective cars without saying any more. I watched him through the window, hoping we would both be okay.
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