Heroic Dramatics Chapter One
Title: Heroic Dramatics
Author: butterflyslinky
Pairing(s): Eventual Linkara/Spoonette; Spoony/80s Chick; one-sided Linksano/Spoonette
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 17,778
Warning(s): Violence, off-screen character death
Summary: Having been rejected as an actress and with nothing left to lose, Spoonette takes her brother’s place in the US Space Corps to fight off the coming threat of Lord Vyce. Now, she has to deal with army drills, her high school stalker with the ability to hack the Pentagon, and a captain who is both way hot and way annoying. Bogus.
Author’s Note: Inspired by this prompt, though I don’t really know if it qualifies as a fill for it. Special thanks to pompoko and ladydiskette for beta-ing, and of course trulyamindlost, robynred, and lizynob for their lovely bonus content
Spoonette had never been like other girls.
Which was to say that Spoonette was exactly like other girls. She lived in Los Angeles, worked as a waitress at a run-down diner, and on her days off went to every audition she could in an attempt to be an actress. She had no agent-she couldn’t afford one-but she still tried. So far, her biggest role had been “Third girl in bar” in a five-minute scene that had been cut from a cheesy action movie that had bombed at the box office.
It wasn’t exactly one for the resume.
She lived with her twin brother Spoony, and his wife 80s Chick, who happened to be Spoonette’s best friend. They let her stay with them rent-free as long as she helped with the housework and let them use her employee discount at the diner, which she was all too happy to do. Spoony was a freelance video game critic, and while he wasn’t nationally famous or anything, he was fairly well-known locally for his biting wit and brutally honest reviews. It was a good job for him, and Spoonette often played the reviewer copies of games with him.
No one ever mentioned that many of the best lines in Spoony’s articles actually came from his sister, or the fact that while he could beat her in any beat-em-up fighter game, she was the best at first person shooters and platformers.
“How did you get so good at these games?” Spoony asked her once.
She shrugged. “I did take physics in college. By which I mean I actually showed up to class.”
Spoonette was tall, and built like a man, wide shoulders and narrow hips, her breasts too small to really count. Her nose was too big, as were her hands. Her eyes were beautiful, wide and light green. She dyed her hair blonde, mostly to keep herself from looking exactly like Spoony, though she wasn’t sure it worked. If anything, it just made her look more like her brother in a wig. In high school, she had been seen as pretty. In college, she had been rated a six. Now, she usually felt like one of the ugliest women on the planet.
Still, she didn’t let that get her down as she looked over the script for her next audition. After all, sometimes having a less conventional appearance was a good thing.
“What do you think, Oreo?” she sighed as she finished her breakfast. “Think this is the one?”
Oreo merely wagged her tail and whined. Spoonette sighed and fed her the last bit of toast. “Guess you’re right,” Spoonette said. “Just have to try.” She got up and headed into her bathroom to shower and get her makeup on. After tying her hair up and winding her lucky gold rose into it, she put on her second-best dress and most comfortable heels before grabbing her purse and script and dashing out the door.
The sun was just breaking over the horizon when Spoonette stepped out on the street and hailed a taxi, but the traffic was already terrible. Ever since the threat from Lord Vyce had become public knowledge, everyone had been in a constant state of panic.
Not that Spoonette really cared. She was just trying to get by. Be successful. Famous. Worthwhile. And becoming an actress, making people happy, seemed like a good way to do that, if only she could catch a break.
The smog was heavy over the city, the lights blinking out dimly through the haze. Spoonette checked her watch. Six AM. The auditions didn’t start until noon, but she knew that cattle calls always had lines around the block by seven and she would be lucky to get a slot.
Sure enough, by the time the taxi dropped her off, there were already at least fifty girls lined up. Spoonette sighed and took her place at the end of the line. She sat down by a wall and read the script again, even though she practically had it memorized by now.
She sat there for hours, occasionally glancing at the other girls to try and determine if they were prettier than her. Most were. Girls with shinier hair, girls with brighter eyes. Everyone had a smaller nose. But she could do this. She was the best actress. She had to be.
Her phone buzzed around nine and she glanced at the text
From 80s Chick:
Good luck, gurl! Dinner @ the diner around 6?
Spoonette rolled her eyes. 80s Chick had never understood the concept of saying “Break a leg.” Nevertheless, Spoonette appreciated that there was someone on her side, so she texted back. “Thanx. See u then.”
At least she had that to look forward to. Then again, she always had that to look forward to.
Around ten, the doors to the casting center opened and the girls were let in, lining up at tables to fill out forms and hand in resumes and headshots before finally receiving an audition card. Spoonette got through the line in about an hour and she looked at her card. Number thirty-four. Sooner than she expected, but not too soon.
She headed to her center and got in line, settling down by the wall. The other girls glanced at her, but didn’t speak.
Finally, the center opened and the first number was called. Spoonette watched as the girls went in and out of the room. Some came out smirking, others looking like they would burst into tears as soon as they found a ladies room. This did not make Spoonette feel more confident.
“Number thirty-four,” the room monitor called.
Spoonette stood up and went into the room, hoping she was lucky today and that she didn’t look nearly as scared as she felt.
The casting agent barely looked at her as she came in. “Here to audition for Vivienne?” the agent asked in a bored tone.
“Yes,” Spoony said.
The agent looked up, studying Spoonette closely. “Hmm,” the agent hummed. “Might have to consider getting a nose job.”
Spoonette blushed, but refused to look away.
“Do you have an audition piece prepared?” the agent asked.
“Yes,” Spoonette said, holding it up.
“Begin,” the agent ordered.
Spoonette took a deep breath and started her monologue.
The casting agent didn’t change expression as she spoke. Spoonette was used to this, but the fact that the agent looked highly unpleasant made Spoonette even more nervous, causing her to stutter a bit more than usual.
She finished in a rush, blushing furiously.
The casting agent made a few notes before looking up. “Thank you,” she said shortly.
Spoonette looked down. “When will I know?” she asked quietly.
“Look, kid,” the agent said. “You’ve got nothing going for you. You’re not pretty enough to be eye candy, you’re not talented enough to be a lead, you’re too distinctive to be an extra, and you’re not weird enough to be comic relief. Face it. You’re never going to be an actress, no matter how much bleach you put in your hair. So go inflate your tits and be a waitress or something, cause your future isn’t here.”
*
“She seriously said that?” 80s Chick sputtered, gesticulating furiously with her fork. “That’s totally bogus!”
“Maybe she’s right,” Spoonette sighed. “And I should just quit now. I mean…not a bad gig here, really. I get by, anyway.”
Spoony shook his head. “Don’t listen to her,” he said. “You are pretty enough for the movies.” He smirked. “After all, you look exactly like me, only blonde and with tits.”
Spoonette rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but you’re a guy. People don’t mind stupid big noses on guys.”
“Stop it,” 80s Chick said. “You’re a great actress and gorgeous to boot. That casting agent is just a stupid, jealous bitch. You’ll make it big someday, I just know it!”
“And even if you don’t, we’ll still keep you,” Spoony added.
“Huge comfort,” Spoonette muttered.
“Hey, we’ll need a baby sitter soon,” Spoony said, glancing at 80s Chick’s slightly swollen stomach.
Spoonette smiled slightly. “Thanks,” she muttered.
“Don’t be discouraged, Eleanor,” Spoony said, making Spoonette throw her napkin at him. He evaded it easily. “Seriously. For me.”
She looked at him. “Did something happen?” she asked quietly.
Spoony and 80s Chick exchanged a glance, their hands coming together. “I got my draft letter,” Spoony said, his voice almost a whisper. “1A, Space Corps. I ship out in two weeks.”
Next | Masterpost
Author: butterflyslinky
Pairing(s): Eventual Linkara/Spoonette; Spoony/80s Chick; one-sided Linksano/Spoonette
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 17,778
Warning(s): Violence, off-screen character death
Summary: Having been rejected as an actress and with nothing left to lose, Spoonette takes her brother’s place in the US Space Corps to fight off the coming threat of Lord Vyce. Now, she has to deal with army drills, her high school stalker with the ability to hack the Pentagon, and a captain who is both way hot and way annoying. Bogus.
Author’s Note: Inspired by this prompt, though I don’t really know if it qualifies as a fill for it. Special thanks to pompoko and ladydiskette for beta-ing, and of course trulyamindlost, robynred, and lizynob for their lovely bonus content
Spoonette had never been like other girls.
Which was to say that Spoonette was exactly like other girls. She lived in Los Angeles, worked as a waitress at a run-down diner, and on her days off went to every audition she could in an attempt to be an actress. She had no agent-she couldn’t afford one-but she still tried. So far, her biggest role had been “Third girl in bar” in a five-minute scene that had been cut from a cheesy action movie that had bombed at the box office.
It wasn’t exactly one for the resume.
She lived with her twin brother Spoony, and his wife 80s Chick, who happened to be Spoonette’s best friend. They let her stay with them rent-free as long as she helped with the housework and let them use her employee discount at the diner, which she was all too happy to do. Spoony was a freelance video game critic, and while he wasn’t nationally famous or anything, he was fairly well-known locally for his biting wit and brutally honest reviews. It was a good job for him, and Spoonette often played the reviewer copies of games with him.
No one ever mentioned that many of the best lines in Spoony’s articles actually came from his sister, or the fact that while he could beat her in any beat-em-up fighter game, she was the best at first person shooters and platformers.
“How did you get so good at these games?” Spoony asked her once.
She shrugged. “I did take physics in college. By which I mean I actually showed up to class.”
Spoonette was tall, and built like a man, wide shoulders and narrow hips, her breasts too small to really count. Her nose was too big, as were her hands. Her eyes were beautiful, wide and light green. She dyed her hair blonde, mostly to keep herself from looking exactly like Spoony, though she wasn’t sure it worked. If anything, it just made her look more like her brother in a wig. In high school, she had been seen as pretty. In college, she had been rated a six. Now, she usually felt like one of the ugliest women on the planet.
Still, she didn’t let that get her down as she looked over the script for her next audition. After all, sometimes having a less conventional appearance was a good thing.
“What do you think, Oreo?” she sighed as she finished her breakfast. “Think this is the one?”
Oreo merely wagged her tail and whined. Spoonette sighed and fed her the last bit of toast. “Guess you’re right,” Spoonette said. “Just have to try.” She got up and headed into her bathroom to shower and get her makeup on. After tying her hair up and winding her lucky gold rose into it, she put on her second-best dress and most comfortable heels before grabbing her purse and script and dashing out the door.
The sun was just breaking over the horizon when Spoonette stepped out on the street and hailed a taxi, but the traffic was already terrible. Ever since the threat from Lord Vyce had become public knowledge, everyone had been in a constant state of panic.
Not that Spoonette really cared. She was just trying to get by. Be successful. Famous. Worthwhile. And becoming an actress, making people happy, seemed like a good way to do that, if only she could catch a break.
The smog was heavy over the city, the lights blinking out dimly through the haze. Spoonette checked her watch. Six AM. The auditions didn’t start until noon, but she knew that cattle calls always had lines around the block by seven and she would be lucky to get a slot.
Sure enough, by the time the taxi dropped her off, there were already at least fifty girls lined up. Spoonette sighed and took her place at the end of the line. She sat down by a wall and read the script again, even though she practically had it memorized by now.
She sat there for hours, occasionally glancing at the other girls to try and determine if they were prettier than her. Most were. Girls with shinier hair, girls with brighter eyes. Everyone had a smaller nose. But she could do this. She was the best actress. She had to be.
Her phone buzzed around nine and she glanced at the text
From 80s Chick:
Good luck, gurl! Dinner @ the diner around 6?
Spoonette rolled her eyes. 80s Chick had never understood the concept of saying “Break a leg.” Nevertheless, Spoonette appreciated that there was someone on her side, so she texted back. “Thanx. See u then.”
At least she had that to look forward to. Then again, she always had that to look forward to.
Around ten, the doors to the casting center opened and the girls were let in, lining up at tables to fill out forms and hand in resumes and headshots before finally receiving an audition card. Spoonette got through the line in about an hour and she looked at her card. Number thirty-four. Sooner than she expected, but not too soon.
She headed to her center and got in line, settling down by the wall. The other girls glanced at her, but didn’t speak.
Finally, the center opened and the first number was called. Spoonette watched as the girls went in and out of the room. Some came out smirking, others looking like they would burst into tears as soon as they found a ladies room. This did not make Spoonette feel more confident.
“Number thirty-four,” the room monitor called.
Spoonette stood up and went into the room, hoping she was lucky today and that she didn’t look nearly as scared as she felt.
The casting agent barely looked at her as she came in. “Here to audition for Vivienne?” the agent asked in a bored tone.
“Yes,” Spoony said.
The agent looked up, studying Spoonette closely. “Hmm,” the agent hummed. “Might have to consider getting a nose job.”
Spoonette blushed, but refused to look away.
“Do you have an audition piece prepared?” the agent asked.
“Yes,” Spoonette said, holding it up.
“Begin,” the agent ordered.
Spoonette took a deep breath and started her monologue.
The casting agent didn’t change expression as she spoke. Spoonette was used to this, but the fact that the agent looked highly unpleasant made Spoonette even more nervous, causing her to stutter a bit more than usual.
She finished in a rush, blushing furiously.
The casting agent made a few notes before looking up. “Thank you,” she said shortly.
Spoonette looked down. “When will I know?” she asked quietly.
“Look, kid,” the agent said. “You’ve got nothing going for you. You’re not pretty enough to be eye candy, you’re not talented enough to be a lead, you’re too distinctive to be an extra, and you’re not weird enough to be comic relief. Face it. You’re never going to be an actress, no matter how much bleach you put in your hair. So go inflate your tits and be a waitress or something, cause your future isn’t here.”
*
“She seriously said that?” 80s Chick sputtered, gesticulating furiously with her fork. “That’s totally bogus!”
“Maybe she’s right,” Spoonette sighed. “And I should just quit now. I mean…not a bad gig here, really. I get by, anyway.”
Spoony shook his head. “Don’t listen to her,” he said. “You are pretty enough for the movies.” He smirked. “After all, you look exactly like me, only blonde and with tits.”
Spoonette rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but you’re a guy. People don’t mind stupid big noses on guys.”
“Stop it,” 80s Chick said. “You’re a great actress and gorgeous to boot. That casting agent is just a stupid, jealous bitch. You’ll make it big someday, I just know it!”
“And even if you don’t, we’ll still keep you,” Spoony added.
“Huge comfort,” Spoonette muttered.
“Hey, we’ll need a baby sitter soon,” Spoony said, glancing at 80s Chick’s slightly swollen stomach.
Spoonette smiled slightly. “Thanks,” she muttered.
“Don’t be discouraged, Eleanor,” Spoony said, making Spoonette throw her napkin at him. He evaded it easily. “Seriously. For me.”
She looked at him. “Did something happen?” she asked quietly.
Spoony and 80s Chick exchanged a glance, their hands coming together. “I got my draft letter,” Spoony said, his voice almost a whisper. “1A, Space Corps. I ship out in two weeks.”
Next | Masterpost